(no subject)
yesterday was so rainy that when you watched one raindrop fall it crashed into the pavement/patio/skin so dramatically. the sky was brown and i wanted everyone from the night before out of my apartment as quickly as necessary even with the broken window, stickybeer floor, spilled blunt guts i was in no rush to deal with but i wanted to spend alone time with him before he went to france. as i drove home in the dramatic storm, i thought about how different the situations are. i will be here, in a very comfortable but boring state. i want to be at my parents house because i won't feel as lonely but thats only comfort. no excitement, no thrill, nothing really. even if i go and do things they aren't going to go much different than what one would expect. going to a different country, walking around, standing idle, it's always different. i'm sure i wouldn't be bored sitting there eavesdropping on a conversation in a different language, and just looking around, at the sky, the street, and definitely the buildings, small things, large things, one wouldn't just expect having not ever lived there. i am slightly jealous, but hopefully, one day, i can see what it's like outside this country.