sorry for all the posts
Gangsta for Dumbies
Now day everyone’s trying to become thugs, like their rap heroes.
Naturally, being black is a benefit in becoming a thug, but what about white
suburban teens? Well, now you too can be gangster, just follow this easy guide
to gangster fashion, language, music, dancing, attitude/love, and reasoning. You
too will be chillin’ with snoop dogg in no time.
Fashion
We’ve all seen rappers on TV such as 50cent and Nelly; well this fashion is
not too hard to accomplish. Just stop by your local TJ Max and purchaes a few
oversized Fubu shirts that can fit you and five of your closet friends inside
it. Get matching pants, or simply a pair of jeans. Make sure the jeans are 5
sizes larger than your normal pant size. No belt needed, the more rear you show
the better. Don’t forget to add a pair of cheap white Adidas old schools and
at least 7 platinum pieces of jewelry. To ad more thug appearance to your new
homies, tell everyone, "I jacked all this stuff from some kid up in tha
hood yo!" You will be highly admired for this act.
Language
The worse English you use the better. Make it sound like you’ve failed
English the past 4 years, because school is gay! To accomplish simple poor
grammar, you can start by ending all ‘ing’s, with an ‘n’, also, replace
any ending of ‘s’ with a ‘z’, because we all know there simply isn’t
enough z’s used in the English language. When you end any sentence or
statement, say ‘yo’. And use as many ‘y’all’s and ‘aight’s are
possible.
Bad example: That girl in the corner is very attractive.
Good example: Dang! I’d hit dat fine mama ova thurr!
Music
Anything that is not Rap or R&B is gay. Music videos must expose, as much
female body parts are legally possible. And when you’re cruising in your ride,
be sure to crank that bass as loud as possible and shake up your hood!
Attitude and Love
Don’t care about anything but the ladies and your money. Everything else is
gay! And with the ladies, the larger the back and front, the better. Never be
seen with an ugly girl. And remember; never limit yourself to one girl. The more
girls the better. Make sure she has plenty of fine female friends so you can use
them as back up when needed. If anyone says anything hostile toward you, call
them an ugly bitch if they’re a female, and threaten to kill them if they’re
a male. Say you’ll get your boys on them to emphasize this threat. Because you
are far better than they are because you got money and hos! You are now a
gangster; you can do whatever you want! Don’t take crap from anyone.
Reasoning
So why be a thug? Why not? Everyone else is a thug now, so why not you? With
all the murder and crime related to the rap lifestyle, who wouldn’t want to be
a real gangsta? But this isn’t what you should tell people as an excuse to an
obscene attitude and fashion. Remember your tenth birthday when you didn’t get
a pony? Or remember when your mom slapped you when you were five? Or last week
when you got a detention for being a minute late? You got it hard! Life in your
hood (suburb) is hard! And now you don’t have enough money to buy a new system
for your rid. Being poor is rough! You have to be a thug, to get out all that
anger built up with your everyday hardships of being a white suburban male.
Now you are a true gangster. Soon enough you’ll be blending with your
brothaz in the hood. Eventually you’ll be chilling with Ludacris comparing
your bling bling. So support your Fubu, gold teeth, platinum chains, baggy
pants, and your white skin with pride. Say it loudly and proudly, Fo Shizzle mah
nizzle!
(we are not responsible for any killing in any ghetto for any reason related
to being a ‘wangsta’, ‘wigga’, ‘cracka’ or ‘white chocolate’)