Honest conversations about money
Talking about money is really hard for most people. I'm not going to lie and tell you that my husband and I have this marvelously transparent relationship with our finances, we don't. Before his brain injury, we had a pretty good financial relationship. Since then, he just doesn't get it.
Color me surprised when he asked me today "are we living beyond our means?"
No, we're living within our means, but only barely.
It became very clear from the conversation we had that our budget is too convoluted and unruly for him to be able to translate that data into a meaningful picture of our finances. Our budget is a spreadsheet that he can view and edit at will, though largely I maintain it. It has evolved over time and the bulk of the evolution has been attempts to make the data in it meaningful to him, changes he requested that he thought would make it easier for him, but all it has done is make it too complicated for him to understand.
This afternoon I added a sheet to the spreadsheet and broke it down for him. Instead of a month's worth of individual grocery purchases there's one line for my grocery budget. Instead of a month's worth of gasoline purchases there's one line for the monthly gas budget. And, most importantly, instead of a dozen columns for funding sources, this sheet is a single column of numbers, it doesn't matter from which account the money comes from, it only matters where it goes.
I lumped our income together at the top, and totaled it. Then I lumped our monthly bills (mortgage, car insurance, electricity, things that don't really vary much) and consumables budgets (gas, groceries, etc), and totaled it. Then I lumped some purchases we made with financing offers so I could be clear how much we had to pay them monthly to avoid finance charges when the promotional period is up, and totaled it. I showed him how much was left.
I'm not wholly certain the number means anything to him, but he appeared, at least in that instance, to get it.
Color me surprised when he asked me today "are we living beyond our means?"
No, we're living within our means, but only barely.
It became very clear from the conversation we had that our budget is too convoluted and unruly for him to be able to translate that data into a meaningful picture of our finances. Our budget is a spreadsheet that he can view and edit at will, though largely I maintain it. It has evolved over time and the bulk of the evolution has been attempts to make the data in it meaningful to him, changes he requested that he thought would make it easier for him, but all it has done is make it too complicated for him to understand.
This afternoon I added a sheet to the spreadsheet and broke it down for him. Instead of a month's worth of individual grocery purchases there's one line for my grocery budget. Instead of a month's worth of gasoline purchases there's one line for the monthly gas budget. And, most importantly, instead of a dozen columns for funding sources, this sheet is a single column of numbers, it doesn't matter from which account the money comes from, it only matters where it goes.
I lumped our income together at the top, and totaled it. Then I lumped our monthly bills (mortgage, car insurance, electricity, things that don't really vary much) and consumables budgets (gas, groceries, etc), and totaled it. Then I lumped some purchases we made with financing offers so I could be clear how much we had to pay them monthly to avoid finance charges when the promotional period is up, and totaled it. I showed him how much was left.
I'm not wholly certain the number means anything to him, but he appeared, at least in that instance, to get it.