i'm all up for a war against my own heart
Title: All Under Control
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Old issues, not beta'd
Summary: Jiyong's thinking and Seungri is scheming. Neither succeeds.
AN: I'll be extremely happy if anybody gets what I'm trying to say. And happy birthday to me!!!~
All Under Control
"Here, I printed out a copy for you."
There were questions. They buzz and fleet from one ear to the next. It's hard to distinguish which ones are answerable and sincere and which ones are malicious and intend to corner him. So Jiyong just ignores them altogether. That way has always worked for him anyway. He lets the world talk a million words a minute while he keeps his mouth shut and has his lyrics flow on paper. And after some time, maybe a year or so after, he'll sneak the song into a mini-album where nobody will take notice of the harsh words he's used nor the scarred heart he's had. It always works in the end. It always does.
"Hey, are you listening?"
Yes, Jiyong's always listening, always has been. His ears are always open and he hears every little damned thing. He hears the accusations, the theories - words meant to strip him off of his skin right to his very core. He hears and he tries to see them in a broader light: words of concern, words meant to warn him to be more careful, words that seek to improve him, words that challenge him, words that push him to - words that are meant to hurt him, there are always those, there are always those.
"Hyung, let's try this one more time."
Of course. One more time. Just like the last time, right, Seungri? Jiyong gets it, wants to pretend he doesn't but he does because it's there, so plain for everybody with half a mind to see. It's Seungri playing up to the cameras, flirting with his eyes and smiling shyly at Jiyong every now and then. It's Seungri doing fanservice - fanservice! It's Seungri saying things Jiyong only heard him say in hazy afternoon dreams. Sweet voice and warm fingers against cool skin - Jiyong remembers these and knows they're fleeting flashes of unreal memories. But this! This is Seungri learning too well the art of acting.
"I'll open the topic with this line here."
And Jiyong will answer and Seungri will say he loves his Jiyong hyung most in this whole wide world and yes, yes. They've practiced this a million times that Jiyong can almost feel the words imprinted at the tip of his tongue, almost like acid waiting to burn his throat if he speaks it out of context. So Jiyong is careful never to, careful to only say the words during practice and the actual performance.
"So I'll start by asking if you've ever loved someone so much before that you've thought of quitting and leaving everything else behind."
Yes, Seungri, yes.
"And you'll say, 'Yes, Seungri, yes.'"
And you'll ask if it's you.
"And I'll ask, 'Is it me?'"
Yes, Seungri. Always.
"And you'll act shocked and accuse me of being crazy!"
Sure, Seungri, sure.
"That'll surely please the fans, eh?"
Believe what makes you feel comfortable. Then Seungri flashes him a blinding smile and Jiyong shakes his head.
"We'll think of a better one next time."
Of course, you will, Seungri. Jiyong smiles tiredly because it's true. Seungri will have an endless arsenal of schemes like this for years to come, for months to come, for weeks and rings and scarves to come. And for every scandal that Jiyong is a half of, Seungri can have his false sense of security, he can have the safety net that this. is. make. believe.
"So, what do you think, hyung?"
There is a girl, there is no girl - that's what Jiyong thinks. Because there needs to be a girl. And therefore, there will always be one right there. Yes, just. right. there. But the things is - Seungri will always be there as well. Maybe absent at times, gone at some moments. There will be instances that Jiyong will forget and he'll ask himself about the existence of such absurd feelings and notions, of freedom under deep blue skies and coffee flavoured laughter, but then he'll see Seungri again (a day after, a week after), all smiles and endlessly annoying, and it all comes back to Jiyong - a trickling warm sensation that curves around his heart, that threatens to render him speechless, idiotic and he thinks, 'Ah. Ah. It's still here. The feeling is still here.'
"Hey, I asked you what do you think, hyung!"
Jiyong has never really admitted anything to himself, much more to Seungri. But - but he'll say this just this once - just -
"I think it's perfect."
No matter how crazy, this is perfect.
AN: Yay! Last year, as a gift to myself on my birthday, I posted a fanfic. This year, I am doing the same :)
I have been gone because school's been really busy and I have had so little time to write anything other than papers on societal problems (GARGH!)
To all the comments I still have not returned, I will get to them! Really!
And to the fanfics I promised to write, I will! Swear!
AN: And also, I have been on a solo revival party of H/D these past few weeks. I don't know if anybody here reads HP but yes, the fandom I never became an active part of, one which I have been lurking at since I was 10. Oh H/D ♥ And this is a a cute coincidence: Drarry (Draco-Harry) and Drari (G-dragon-Seungri)! LOL. Though I don't call them Drarry and Drari but H/D and G-Ri :D It's still cute!
/end
AN: This ficlette here is really - erhm, haha. Sorry, but as a gift to myself, I am happy with it :D No matter how weird and all over the place it is, you can't stop me from loving it! /shakes fist
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Old issues, not beta'd
Summary: Jiyong's thinking and Seungri is scheming. Neither succeeds.
AN: I'll be extremely happy if anybody gets what I'm trying to say. And happy birthday to me!!!~
All Under Control
"Here, I printed out a copy for you."
There were questions. They buzz and fleet from one ear to the next. It's hard to distinguish which ones are answerable and sincere and which ones are malicious and intend to corner him. So Jiyong just ignores them altogether. That way has always worked for him anyway. He lets the world talk a million words a minute while he keeps his mouth shut and has his lyrics flow on paper. And after some time, maybe a year or so after, he'll sneak the song into a mini-album where nobody will take notice of the harsh words he's used nor the scarred heart he's had. It always works in the end. It always does.
"Hey, are you listening?"
Yes, Jiyong's always listening, always has been. His ears are always open and he hears every little damned thing. He hears the accusations, the theories - words meant to strip him off of his skin right to his very core. He hears and he tries to see them in a broader light: words of concern, words meant to warn him to be more careful, words that seek to improve him, words that challenge him, words that push him to - words that are meant to hurt him, there are always those, there are always those.
"Hyung, let's try this one more time."
Of course. One more time. Just like the last time, right, Seungri? Jiyong gets it, wants to pretend he doesn't but he does because it's there, so plain for everybody with half a mind to see. It's Seungri playing up to the cameras, flirting with his eyes and smiling shyly at Jiyong every now and then. It's Seungri doing fanservice - fanservice! It's Seungri saying things Jiyong only heard him say in hazy afternoon dreams. Sweet voice and warm fingers against cool skin - Jiyong remembers these and knows they're fleeting flashes of unreal memories. But this! This is Seungri learning too well the art of acting.
"I'll open the topic with this line here."
And Jiyong will answer and Seungri will say he loves his Jiyong hyung most in this whole wide world and yes, yes. They've practiced this a million times that Jiyong can almost feel the words imprinted at the tip of his tongue, almost like acid waiting to burn his throat if he speaks it out of context. So Jiyong is careful never to, careful to only say the words during practice and the actual performance.
"So I'll start by asking if you've ever loved someone so much before that you've thought of quitting and leaving everything else behind."
Yes, Seungri, yes.
"And you'll say, 'Yes, Seungri, yes.'"
And you'll ask if it's you.
"And I'll ask, 'Is it me?'"
Yes, Seungri. Always.
"And you'll act shocked and accuse me of being crazy!"
Sure, Seungri, sure.
"That'll surely please the fans, eh?"
Believe what makes you feel comfortable. Then Seungri flashes him a blinding smile and Jiyong shakes his head.
"We'll think of a better one next time."
Of course, you will, Seungri. Jiyong smiles tiredly because it's true. Seungri will have an endless arsenal of schemes like this for years to come, for months to come, for weeks and rings and scarves to come. And for every scandal that Jiyong is a half of, Seungri can have his false sense of security, he can have the safety net that this. is. make. believe.
"So, what do you think, hyung?"
There is a girl, there is no girl - that's what Jiyong thinks. Because there needs to be a girl. And therefore, there will always be one right there. Yes, just. right. there. But the things is - Seungri will always be there as well. Maybe absent at times, gone at some moments. There will be instances that Jiyong will forget and he'll ask himself about the existence of such absurd feelings and notions, of freedom under deep blue skies and coffee flavoured laughter, but then he'll see Seungri again (a day after, a week after), all smiles and endlessly annoying, and it all comes back to Jiyong - a trickling warm sensation that curves around his heart, that threatens to render him speechless, idiotic and he thinks, 'Ah. Ah. It's still here. The feeling is still here.'
"Hey, I asked you what do you think, hyung!"
Jiyong has never really admitted anything to himself, much more to Seungri. But - but he'll say this just this once - just -
"I think it's perfect."
No matter how crazy, this is perfect.
AN: Yay! Last year, as a gift to myself on my birthday, I posted a fanfic. This year, I am doing the same :)
I have been gone because school's been really busy and I have had so little time to write anything other than papers on societal problems (GARGH!)
To all the comments I still have not returned, I will get to them! Really!
And to the fanfics I promised to write, I will! Swear!
AN: And also, I have been on a solo revival party of H/D these past few weeks. I don't know if anybody here reads HP but yes, the fandom I never became an active part of, one which I have been lurking at since I was 10. Oh H/D ♥ And this is a a cute coincidence: Drarry (Draco-Harry) and Drari (G-dragon-Seungri)! LOL. Though I don't call them Drarry and Drari but H/D and G-Ri :D It's still cute!
/end
AN: This ficlette here is really - erhm, haha. Sorry, but as a gift to myself, I am happy with it :D No matter how weird and all over the place it is, you can't stop me from loving it! /shakes fist