i want to shine bright for you
Title: Almost Perfect
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He twirled around and round and jumped all over the stage with its pretty white lights and the screaming of the fans.
AN: This is based on Ji's Solo Debut Stage on Inkigayo yesterday and on BigBang's guesting in Come To Play last year (starts at 3:25). Thanks to
so_much_kimchi for beta'ing ♥
ALMOST PERFECT
Jiyong smiled a lot. He gave his best. He twirled around and round and jumped all over the stage with its pretty white lights and the screaming of the fans. He felt high. He was high.
He felt nervous. It showed in his voice but he's still amazing, still amazing. And when he smiled at that last note, he was flying. Soaring.
It was surreal. A dream. Come true.
Jiyong smiled a lot. And he smiled with ecstacy in his veins and he radiated happiness. Fulfilment. It was blinding. Too bright like some hot white heat and Jiyong was so fucking bright that he's glowing.
G-Dragon! G-Dragon! G-Dragon!
Thank you. I love you all.
When he gets off the stage he feels numb. Weak. Like his feet are there but he can't... feel them. And his heart's beating too fast. Fast. Fast. Fast. But he feels... he doesn't know how he feels.
He looks at his phone. A million messages.
He knows each word that he'll read without opening every message. He knows he'll smile like an idiot reading each. All the messages will be happy and he'll feel his heart swell with pride with each line. He knows.
Then later, maybe 5 minutes later, he'll go online and read what the world has to say about his moment. He'll frown at a lot and he'll smile at some. He'll nod and cringe and he'll promise to work harder next time. The world is always hungry and no matter how much he gives the world still screams for more more more~!
Kwon Jiyong may be selfish but the world is more selfish than he is.
He's surrounded by a thousand different people that made this moment possible. He hugs them all, loves them a lot. But he wants... a little bit of space. Just for him to savor this moment. Alone.
Jiyong smiles a lot. And nobody notices it when his hands shake. He wants to cry but he's G - the fucking - Dragon and this is not the time for tears. They'd understand if he does but well, fuck. It's party time!
--
“Do you know why I wanted you to be there so bad?”
“To show off?”
There is laughter and Jiyong reaches out to punch at Seungri's arm lightly.
“Partly.”
There is silence as they look outside at the Han River, cold air surrounding them as they stand barefeet on the balcony in Jiyong's room.
“It's because I wanted you to see how amazing I am. I wanted you to look at me with your sparkling eyes and whisper to yourself, 'Jiyong hyung is almost perfect'. I wanted you to be proud of me, see me work so hard. I want to be your favorite hyung forever.”
Jiyong doesn't admit that he's afraid of losing Seungri but he almost says it. He's afraid of Seungri's eyes losing their twinkle when the kid looks at him. Jiyong may pretend to be annoyed when Seungri compliments him, when Seungri follows him but to Jiyong - it has become oxygen. Jiyong loves attention. Especially when it comes from Seungri.
Fucked up, right?
“You'll always be my favorite hyung.”
“Always more than Youngbae?”
Seungri looks at Jiyong weirdly, raises an eyebrow.
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“I'm being a jealous and selfish brat right now, can't you tell?”
There's a smirk and a frown and two faces blushing.
“You've got a funny way of showing and saying that you like me.”
“I don't like you in that way.”
“I didn't say that you do.”
“I know. And I kinda wish that you did.”
Nobody says a word after that. They're both afraid to take the conversation further. It's dangerous.--
Jiyong smiled a lot. He smiled his best smiles and they were blinding and bright. He hopes Seungri sees, hopes Seungri sees the smiles.
--
"Are you coming today?"
It's early in the morning and Jiyong is nervous.
"Sorry, hyung. I can't."
Jiyong knew but he still asked.--
The world doesn't stop when Jiyong wants it to. It spins round and round and jumps with its pretty lights and the buzz of longing in his heart. Jiyong wishes he can grab a hold of it and freeze it in the palm of his hand.
Congratulations! That was great! You were great! I'm looking forward to more amazing sta-
Thank you. I'll work harder in the future.
There's a million different other words that he hears, that he nods to. He's been waiting for this for ten years. Ten fucking years!
Somehow, every word is similar and Jiyong can't recognize each syllable anymore.
--
“Hyung! Congratulations on your first Solo Debut Stage! You were amazing!”
They're on the balcony again. The air is still cold.
“I know. Damn right, I am.”
“Very modest.”
“We're not exactly the most modest people in this house.”
“Apparently.”
The Han River looks gorgeous and it almost reflects the lies they both tell. They both are perfectionists, especially Jiyong, and they both know that the performance is far from amazing.
There's a slight breeze and Seungri steps closer to the warm body next to his. Jiyong pretends that he doesn't notice.
“Hey, look. Seungri, if- let's say, we go on Come to Play again and we had to do that ranking thing again-”
“I'm still placing you as second, hyung.”
“Oh.”
Jiyong is afraid he'll lose Seungri to Youngbae or to some other guy whose smiles are more charming and bright than his.
“You're still my favorite hyung, though”
“Whatever.”
Jiyong is selfish and he's never been discreet about it.
“Hey, hyung, don't sulk.”
“I'm not.”
“Want me to kiss you better?”
Jiyong turns and kisses Seungri himself. A hand snakes to the back of Seungri's neck and pulls in, doesn't want to let go. Another hand to the small of Seungri's back and pulls in, fucking don't let go.
They're kissing, slow and smooth with glides of lips and nips of teeth and tounge and it is soft and lovely. Jiyong's lips moves against Seungri's and it's-
Breathe, Jiyong, breathe.
When Seungri pulls back, he laughs and it sounds like butterflies dancing to a heartbreak song.
“Always more than Youngbae?”
“Always more than Youngbae hyung.”
And Seungri kisses Jiyong again.--
Jiyong smiled a lot. He gave his best and he doesn't really care if the whole world doesn't stop and freeze when he wants it to. Or if he can't make out the words to sentences thrown his way.
He just wanted to smile and have Seungri see it.
And not lose the kid.
Ever.
AN: Ji's debut stage was amazing. And his smiles were blindingly bright. He was... he- I love him.
AN2: So everyone knows that when I watch that Come To Play video, I really cannot help but notice of 1) Ji's fallen face when Ri ranked him second to Youngbae 2) Seungri stuttering when he was explaining why he only ranked Ji second and 3) Ji's expectant face when Ri was explaining/stuttering. So obviously, when I watched Ji's debut performance, I thought of this.
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He twirled around and round and jumped all over the stage with its pretty white lights and the screaming of the fans.
AN: This is based on Ji's Solo Debut Stage on Inkigayo yesterday and on BigBang's guesting in Come To Play last year (starts at 3:25). Thanks to
so_much_kimchi for beta'ing ♥
ALMOST PERFECT
Jiyong smiled a lot. He gave his best. He twirled around and round and jumped all over the stage with its pretty white lights and the screaming of the fans. He felt high. He was high.
He felt nervous. It showed in his voice but he's still amazing, still amazing. And when he smiled at that last note, he was flying. Soaring.
It was surreal. A dream. Come true.
Jiyong smiled a lot. And he smiled with ecstacy in his veins and he radiated happiness. Fulfilment. It was blinding. Too bright like some hot white heat and Jiyong was so fucking bright that he's glowing.
G-Dragon! G-Dragon! G-Dragon!
Thank you. I love you all.
When he gets off the stage he feels numb. Weak. Like his feet are there but he can't... feel them. And his heart's beating too fast. Fast. Fast. Fast. But he feels... he doesn't know how he feels.
He looks at his phone. A million messages.
He knows each word that he'll read without opening every message. He knows he'll smile like an idiot reading each. All the messages will be happy and he'll feel his heart swell with pride with each line. He knows.
Then later, maybe 5 minutes later, he'll go online and read what the world has to say about his moment. He'll frown at a lot and he'll smile at some. He'll nod and cringe and he'll promise to work harder next time. The world is always hungry and no matter how much he gives the world still screams for more more more~!
Kwon Jiyong may be selfish but the world is more selfish than he is.
He's surrounded by a thousand different people that made this moment possible. He hugs them all, loves them a lot. But he wants... a little bit of space. Just for him to savor this moment. Alone.
Jiyong smiles a lot. And nobody notices it when his hands shake. He wants to cry but he's G - the fucking - Dragon and this is not the time for tears. They'd understand if he does but well, fuck. It's party time!
--
“Do you know why I wanted you to be there so bad?”
“To show off?”
There is laughter and Jiyong reaches out to punch at Seungri's arm lightly.
“Partly.”
There is silence as they look outside at the Han River, cold air surrounding them as they stand barefeet on the balcony in Jiyong's room.
“It's because I wanted you to see how amazing I am. I wanted you to look at me with your sparkling eyes and whisper to yourself, 'Jiyong hyung is almost perfect'. I wanted you to be proud of me, see me work so hard. I want to be your favorite hyung forever.”
Jiyong doesn't admit that he's afraid of losing Seungri but he almost says it. He's afraid of Seungri's eyes losing their twinkle when the kid looks at him. Jiyong may pretend to be annoyed when Seungri compliments him, when Seungri follows him but to Jiyong - it has become oxygen. Jiyong loves attention. Especially when it comes from Seungri.
Fucked up, right?
“You'll always be my favorite hyung.”
“Always more than Youngbae?”
Seungri looks at Jiyong weirdly, raises an eyebrow.
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“I'm being a jealous and selfish brat right now, can't you tell?”
There's a smirk and a frown and two faces blushing.
“You've got a funny way of showing and saying that you like me.”
“I don't like you in that way.”
“I didn't say that you do.”
“I know. And I kinda wish that you did.”
Nobody says a word after that. They're both afraid to take the conversation further. It's dangerous.--
Jiyong smiled a lot. He smiled his best smiles and they were blinding and bright. He hopes Seungri sees, hopes Seungri sees the smiles.
--
"Are you coming today?"
It's early in the morning and Jiyong is nervous.
"Sorry, hyung. I can't."
Jiyong knew but he still asked.--
The world doesn't stop when Jiyong wants it to. It spins round and round and jumps with its pretty lights and the buzz of longing in his heart. Jiyong wishes he can grab a hold of it and freeze it in the palm of his hand.
Congratulations! That was great! You were great! I'm looking forward to more amazing sta-
Thank you. I'll work harder in the future.
There's a million different other words that he hears, that he nods to. He's been waiting for this for ten years. Ten fucking years!
Somehow, every word is similar and Jiyong can't recognize each syllable anymore.
--
“Hyung! Congratulations on your first Solo Debut Stage! You were amazing!”
They're on the balcony again. The air is still cold.
“I know. Damn right, I am.”
“Very modest.”
“We're not exactly the most modest people in this house.”
“Apparently.”
The Han River looks gorgeous and it almost reflects the lies they both tell. They both are perfectionists, especially Jiyong, and they both know that the performance is far from amazing.
There's a slight breeze and Seungri steps closer to the warm body next to his. Jiyong pretends that he doesn't notice.
“Hey, look. Seungri, if- let's say, we go on Come to Play again and we had to do that ranking thing again-”
“I'm still placing you as second, hyung.”
“Oh.”
Jiyong is afraid he'll lose Seungri to Youngbae or to some other guy whose smiles are more charming and bright than his.
“You're still my favorite hyung, though”
“Whatever.”
Jiyong is selfish and he's never been discreet about it.
“Hey, hyung, don't sulk.”
“I'm not.”
“Want me to kiss you better?”
Jiyong turns and kisses Seungri himself. A hand snakes to the back of Seungri's neck and pulls in, doesn't want to let go. Another hand to the small of Seungri's back and pulls in, fucking don't let go.
They're kissing, slow and smooth with glides of lips and nips of teeth and tounge and it is soft and lovely. Jiyong's lips moves against Seungri's and it's-
Breathe, Jiyong, breathe.
When Seungri pulls back, he laughs and it sounds like butterflies dancing to a heartbreak song.
“Always more than Youngbae?”
“Always more than Youngbae hyung.”
And Seungri kisses Jiyong again.--
Jiyong smiled a lot. He gave his best and he doesn't really care if the whole world doesn't stop and freeze when he wants it to. Or if he can't make out the words to sentences thrown his way.
He just wanted to smile and have Seungri see it.
And not lose the kid.
Ever.
AN: Ji's debut stage was amazing. And his smiles were blindingly bright. He was... he- I love him.
AN2: So everyone knows that when I watch that Come To Play video, I really cannot help but notice of 1) Ji's fallen face when Ri ranked him second to Youngbae 2) Seungri stuttering when he was explaining why he only ranked Ji second and 3) Ji's expectant face when Ri was explaining/stuttering. So obviously, when I watched Ji's debut performance, I thought of this.