DRAFTS.

May 05, 2009 18:14

Title: Drafts of a Confession
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Just two drafts for my "asking each other if we still feel the same" scene.
AN: Before SBS Love Photoshoot was written for the Agreement Series, I've already written two versions of the scene were they will ask each other if they still feel the same way, if they still like each other. And just because I'm not being visited by my muse these past few days, I decided to share these drafts to you guys. They are drafts so they are not beta'd in any way, corrected in any way or anything. I'm leaving them as they are the way I wrote them a month ago.

Enjoy the raw-ness of fail. :)



First up:

COME TO PLAY
part4

Second.

It’s funny how the two of you ranked each other second in your personal charts. You’re only second to Daesung hyung when it comes to the member who’s changed a lot since your debut in his chart. And he’s only second to Youngbae hyung when it comes to who can mesmerize girls in a flash with just a smile or a wink in your chart.

Funny isn’t it? Yes. Very funny, indeed.

“Hyung, can I come in?” You push open the door to his room lightly, looking through the small crack to see what he’s doing. He’s on his desk, a pen in hand, the computer screen flashing some random waves and the speaker pumping some random tune. Probably another hit in the making and you tell yourself you can do this you can do this you can do this.

He looks up, eyes surprised as he nods, turns the monitor off and whirls his chair to face you as you enter the room, locking the door behind you. He raises an eybrow at this. But you pretend you don’t notice, pretend it’s so very normal that you want to see him, pretend it’s so normal to be behind locked doors with him.

“Why, Seungri?” He looks at you expectantly as you cross his room and sit on his bed. You note in your head that his bed’s softer than the one in your room. “What’s wrong?”

You just smile at him as you bring your feet up on the bed, crossing them infront of you as you stare at the blank monitor screen. Your heart’s beating so fast now you don’t look at him.

“New song?” You ask, nodding at the screen and he looks at it, turns it back on and brings the volume on the speaker up. You notice his hand is shaking and that’s unfair cause right now your heart’s doing more than shaking, it’s jumping around, doing backflips and twirling and- many other acrobatic moves.

“Yeah, I’m working on a new song,” he smiles. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Sure, hyung.” And you hear soft bass fill the room, his head bobbing in time with the beat and you’re mesmerized with the way his eyes close naturally as the drums set in and electornic tunes blend with the bass. Then you’re lost just when you hear an undistinguishable sound mix into the music, adding a deeper sound to it and it sounds so sad, so tragic and your right hand raises itself unconciously, fingers outstreched, moving towards him, wanting to hold him but it’s too short as it reaches air. You let your hand drop back down on your side. Sigh. He’s too far to hold.

“Do you still like me, hyung?” It came out softly, totally not how you thought it would sound considering the current state of your beating heart. Fast and almost breaking.

“Wh- what?” His eyes open suddenly, he blinks once then stares at you, his voice cracking at the one syllable word.

“I said, hyung, do you still like me?” You look back at him, stare into his eyes, and you secretly plead with him to please please please do not break your heart. Not now, not now, not ever.

“Of - ofcourse.” He stutters, sitting up right on his chair across from you, his eyes looking indignantly at you, like you just asked the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course, Seungri. Of course I still like you. No. No-” He shakes his head, laughs softly and whispers, “I still love you.”

You smile at this, your heart still beating too fast now but not because its threatening to break into a million pieces, but because finally, finally. So you stand up from his bed, your smile getting wider as he follows you with his eyes.

“Just checking,” You say as you walk toward him, your hand reaching out (conciously now) for the mouse on his desk and you pause the music that’s so sad and tragic to your ears, making sure to brush your arm across his shoulder. “The new song sounds bad, by the way.”

“Oh, really?” He asks, turning his chair to look at the screen again. His cheeks brushing against your arm now as he faces the computer and you make sure to keep the contact, liking the feel of his skin against yours. This is far from kissing him but you’ll gladly take it.

“Yeah, hyung. It sounds like a song for a funeral.” You click on some buttons, moving your way through the mixing program he has open. “Maybe if you change the pitch a little bit?”

“Sure thing.” He whispers and he puts his hand on top of yours on the mouse, holding it like your hand’s nonexistant, moving it around to do what you said.

“That ranking thing to-”

"That ranking thing to-"

Both of you say at the same time. You laugh a little and he giggles infront of you. See? It’s funny.

“You’re not suddenly going to start kissing Youngbae, right?” He asks as he turns the bass down, moving the slide lower as he leans back into your chest a little.

“Of course not, hyung,” You rest your chin on his head. “Sure he looks cool at his concert, I’ll be a liar if I said I wasn’t attracted, but no hyung. I’m not suddenly going to start kissing him.”

“Good. Cause I seriously was hurting when you only ranked me second.” He says as he adjusts the pitch on the electric guitar. “And I was especially worried when you explained why you picked him as first.”

“Yeah, I saw your face across the studio.”

“I was trying my best to laugh it off.”

“I know, I was too. If you watch the broadcast you’ll see.” You tell him as he plays the music again and he doesn’t lift his hands off yours on the mouse. This time, the music is more gentle and easier to the heart to listen to, especially when that undistinguishable sound comes in and adds into the beat. It makes the mix sound so perfect and balanced.

“How about you? Do you still- you know?” His voice sounds so unsure and you want to hit him on the head cause seriously, can you be any more obvious? You don’t answer immediately and he looks up at you, his eyes as unsure as his voice. You take a chance and lean down, kiss him quickly on the lips. And when you move away his eyes are closed.

“Of course, hyung. I still do.” You smirk at him and remove your hand underneath his as you step back and away from him, towards the door. He opens his eyes, a dazed look on his face. “I’ll always feel the same way, don’t worry.”

“Oh, Seungri! About Daesung-”

“I know, hyung. No need to explain.” You say as you unlock the door, openning it a little.

“That’s good then.” He says softly. You turn around, wanting to tell him one more thing.

“And hyung, be sure to never fall out of love for me, okay?” You warn him and you see his face break into one of his brightest smile, that smile that makes winks look weak.

“Don’t worry, maknae, I’ll never let go.” And you cloe the door behind you, a satisfied smile on your face. That went well. Now you’re sure you’re still first in each other’s hearts.

First.

Here's the second draft. It's pretty much the same, as you will see. Just, the wordings are different in some parts and the feel and mood is a little bit heavier. Also, there is a total change in the way things turned out.

Second:

COME TO PLAY
part4

Sometimes you wish the agreement was made on paper, so you can tear it to pieces when you want to just fucking give in and have him so close to you without guilt. But you know the guilt will be bigger then, because you'll be letting loose feelings that aren't safe to be uncontrolled, because feelings like love and need are not to be let loose when it involves you and Kwon Jiyong. No, it's too dangerous, too risky. It's scary as hell.

You knock on his door, opening it slowly (it's unlocked). You peek inside, he's in front of the computer, mixing some beats and tunes that are pumping from the speaker in a steady but soft flow, filling the entire room with G-Dragon's music, life and soul.

"I'm busy. Talk to me lat-" He stops mid-sentence when he sees you standing on the doorway. He looks surprised as he turns the volume on the speaker down. “Seu- Seungri.”

You take this as a sign that it’s okay to come inside. You lock the door behind you and he raises his eyebrow at this but you pretend you don’t notice, pretend it’s so very normal that you want to see him, pretend it’s so very normal to be behind locked doors with him.

“Hyung...” You say as you sit on his bed, noting in your head that his bed’s softer than the one in your room. You smile as you bring your feet up on the bed, crossing them in front of you as you stare at the monitor screen. Your heart’s beating so fast now you don’t look at him.

“Why, Seungri?” He turns his chair to look at you and you avoid his eyes because right now your heart is busy trying to not overwork itself. “Is something wrong?”

“Hyung, about today...” The look in his face dangerously turns to the one you saw on him earlier. “About what I said about Youngbae hyung...” You can’t finish what you want to say because you see the same look in his face now. It’s exactly the same with his expression in the studio today.

There’s silence in the room as you sit there looking at him. He’s sitting in his chair, turning it left and right as his hands play with the hem of his shirt. His eyes downcast as he’s lost in his own world and your right hand raises itself unconciously, fingers outstretched, moving towards him, wanting to hold him but it’s too short as it reaches air. You let your hand drop back down on your side. Sigh. He’s too far to hold, too far to comfort, too real to love.

“It’s okay. It’s nothing big. It’s for the show, I know.” He looks at you know, his face smiling a forced smile. You can tell with the way his eyes are so dim, the corners of his mouth not turned just right. “I mean, if you really are attracted to Youngbae- yeah. I mean, who am I, right? Because, yeah, even if I’m your favorite hyung, you know? Even if I’m in love with you- yeah. I mean- sure.”

And your heart breaks, just like that. It stops beating all together, just like that. Because that smile on his face, that forced smile on his face hurts so fucking much, those words he just said hurts so fucking much.

“Hyung, it’s not like that,” and you stand from your place on the bed and walk towards him, taking small steps, careful not to rush, not to show how much you need to be so close to him right now.

“And what else can I do? Tease you, as always. Like I always do, just tease you. Then laugh like nothing’s wrong, like I’m not hurting from expecting too much cause seriously, I should already know you by now. I should already know how much you value that fucking agreement and all these stupid rules between us.”

“Hyung, those rules are not stupid,” you remind him but you honestly think that yeah, they’re stupid. You’re standing next to him now. If you reach your hand now it won’t touch air but touch him.

“Not stupid. I know, I know. And you know what else is stupid but isn’t really stupid? Me being worried.” He laughs to himself as he continually wrings the hem of his shirt. “Do you know how worried I am when you explained why you ranked Youngbae first? I was seriously worried. And it’s so stupid that I’m worried cause you know, it’s just a ranking but yeah, I can’t help but think... do you still feel the same way?” He looks up at you then and you see his eyes, so unsure and worried and lost.

“That’s why I came here. Cause I know you’ll be thinking these things.” You tell him with a smile while you try to piece your heart back up together, while you try to piece him back up together. “Because honestly, hyung, you sometimes think too much.” He doesn’t say anything, just look at you and you think maybe you’re not doing this correctly.

“Seungri, do you still love me?” He asks more seriously this time, his eyes boring into yours as he stands up, his face inches away from you now and you fight the urge to pull him closer and beg him to not let you go. You ball your hands into fists just to be sure.

“Of course, hyung.” You say, stepping back from him, widening the distance from you and him because if you don’t, you know even your balled up fists won’t stop you from grabbing him and kissing him. “I still feel the same way. And it’s still scary, still feels like drowning, still feels like I can’t breathe.”

He just stands there, looking at you, the light in his eyes slowly returning, a small smile playing in the corner of his lips. He takes a step back. You’re surprised at this.

“I won’t make this any harder on you. Your reassurance is enough.” The smile on his face is getting wider. “Actually, I think I’m getting better in this game of ours. Well, except that part today cause your comment on Youngbae was really too- you know.”

“Yeah, I know. But I wasn’t lying when I said that.” His face changes again. “And stop being so jealous of everything that comes within a meter radius of me. Plus your teasing is getting more and more unbearable,” You tell him and he laughs, taking another step back, moving towards his bed.

“Fine, I’ll try to be more understanding next time, with the jealousy and the teasing.” He says as he points at the door behind you.

“Oh, you want me to leave now?” You’re really surprised at this.

“Yeah, leave before I drag you to my bed and rape you.” He smirks and you unlock the door, open it and step outside, close it slightly.

“It’s technically not rape when the other person is willing, right?” You ask him through the door’s crack and close it hurriedly, pulling on the doorknob cause you know what’s coming next.

But nothing.

No pounding on the door and trying to open it. There’s just silence from the other side. You stand there for a whole minute, trying to listen at what he’s doing inside but there’s no sound. So you slowly open the door again and take a peek.

He’s lying in bed, looking at you, a smirk on his face.

“What?”

"You're not- not going to run after me? No pounding on the door? No shouting how much you want me?" You ask him, surprised and he just laughs as he sits up on the bed.

"Why? You want me to?" he begins to stand up. You seriously ponder this. Thinking. And he looks at you, an amused smile on his face. "You seriously want me to?"

"Ye-yeah..." you say softly and he stands up then and on reflex you move to pull the door closed but he sits back down instantly, chuckling.

"Whatever, Seungri. Go now, before you regret anything," you glare at him, your heart beating so fast from all his teasing. "And yeah..."

"What?!" you shout at him from the door's crack, frustrated.

"Just so you know, I'm still in love with you too," he says as he lays back down on his bed. "Now, close the door, will you?"

"Whatever," you don't bother hiding the happy note in your voice.

So you close the door. And walk away with a smile on your face. And of course, with a beating heart.

AN: WOAH. haha. I wish I can start writing again now, have them beta'd then share em with you guys. :) But for now, these are all I can share. Drafts. Really old drafts.

bigbang, fanfiction

Previous post Next post
Up