Maybe, if it's not Wrong
Title: Maybe, if it’s not Wrong
Pairing/Focus: WooGyu, Sunggyu-centric
Rating: PG-13
Genre: nonau, angst
Word count: ~3,200
It all starts when Sunggyu accidentally brushes his lips with Woohyun’s.
Long days are normal for an idol, with schedules that cover every possible waking hour and practices and recordings that go beyond the rise and fall of the sun. So it makes sense that more often than not, they’re zombies when they get back to their dorm. The two maknaes have first dibs on the showers (in which Dongwoo had to calm the hyung-line down about seniority-it was a fair rock paper scissors game, after all) and so the rest of them busy themselves with the only free time they really get when they don’t use it to sleep.
Sunggyu remembers having a separate schedule with Woohyun, squished between an evening recording and their midday performance. He remembers having a headache and he remembers Woohyun actually shutting up and staying quiet, for once. He remembers lingering gazes and subtle touches, being steered in the right direction when he was too busy trying not to lose his concentration. Even when they get back to their shared room, the insistent pounding at his temple is relentless and Woohyun remains quiet.
And then the lights go out. Sunggyu takes a blind step in the dark and puts his weight on an article of clothing and his foot slips under him and he falls, landing on his back and his elbows and fuck. A light that's too bright suddenly lands on him and he can make out Woohyun’s silhouette against the brightness of the younger male’s laptop.
Woohyun is murmuring words and all Sunggyu can make out is “hyung” and “power’s out” so Sunggyu mumbles a response: “check on the kids”. Woohyun disappears and Sunggyu shifts so that he’s sitting now, on the floor, leaning back against their bed. His elbows hurt and his back hurts and his head hurts and he just wants to sleep. Sleep-he’s so close to his goal when he feels a body next to his and words he’s not sure are meant for him, because he can hear informal language and “yah” and “idiot” and what? Sunggyu’s too worn out to complain but when he hears another “yah” his eyes stubbornly flutter open (with too much difficulty).
Woohyun looks as equally worn out and Sunggyu’s not even sure if the younger boy is awake (it’s dark so the power must still be out). But Woohyun’s face is close. Really close. Too close. Is Woohyun sleeping?
No-his lips are moving and Sunggyu can hear vague murmurs that could only belong to Woohyun. Woohyun’s mumbling something but Sunggyu’s unfocused attention is on his lips and then there’s a brief silence and the lips still.
Getting closer-slightly agape, curved, and soft. Woohyun’s lips are soft against his as the quiet drums into the back of his mind.
And then Sunggyu wakes up.
.
“Five minutes.”
“But hyung! You got ten minutes already!”
Sunggyu pauses mid-action of ducking back under the covers and turns around, bleary eyed. Dongwoo’s stupid smile is staring him in the face and the older boy wearily rubs his face.
“You’re up already?”
What Sunggyu means to ask is, why isn’t Woohyun waking him up like he always does?
“Yeah, Woohyun said to let you sleep in a bit because you had a headache yesterday, but now you really have to get up.”
“Oh.”
It takes Dongwoo another few tries before Sunggyu fully wakes up, and the older male drags himself to the bathroom to wash and dress and it’s not long before he joins the others in the van. Sunggyu skips breakfast to nap in the car ride to their photoshoot.
Sunggyu doesn’t notice anything at first until he has to talk to Woohyun, only to find that he can never find a moment when it’s just them two. He can’t find any alone time with the younger male, no matter how hard he tries (to the point where his suspicions are confirmed because Woohyun comes up with the stupidest excuses sometimes) and the little moments he gets are short answered and quiet.
Sunggyu holds out until they’re back to just seven, managers lingering outside as they go through their dance routines for the two hours slotted into their schedule. He traps his target by the bathroom when they’re on break from practice. Woohyun raises his brows and acknowledges him with a hum.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
Woohyun answers way too fast and Sunggyu narrows his eyes, except Woohyun doesn’t flinch at his glare.
“You’ve been doing it for days now, don’t tell me nothing’s wrong.”
“I don’t-”
“Woohyun.” Sunggyu’s tone is firm and the younger boy makes a face.
“Hyung,” he starts and Sunggyu swears there’s something that wavers in his eyes. “What do you remember about Tuesday night?”
The elder furrows his brows at the question. “Tuesday. We had performance in Suwon. The power went out.”
There’s a short silence, as if Woohyun is expecting Sunggyu to keep going before the younger boy asks, “Is that it?”
“Woohyun-”
“Hyung, I’ll go back first?”
Sunggyu is left speechless as Woohyun moves around him and back to their practice room, and the elder hangs his head back to exhale a sigh. His mind is distracted the whole way back to the dorm, with Woohyun clearly avoiding him to the point where the other members are shooting them both looks. Sunggyu pretends he doesn’t notice, quietly stealing himself to his (their) room and collapsing into bed.
Tuesday night.
He had a headache.
They danced for three hours.
The lights went out.
…and then?
The door creaks open as Woohyun walks in and Sunggyu quickly closes his eyes. He can hear shuffling to his left and then a moment where the sounds still, and then the light turns off and Woohyun leaves. Sunggyu opens his eyes and stares at the bottom bunk above him. For that split second of quiet, he could smell Woohyun-the faint musk of the morning’s cologne and dry sweat from practice.
He’s hit with a familiar scent that could only belong to his roommate-skin too close, lips soft and unmoving against his. There’s just the slightest of pressure against his mouth, silence overbearingly loud and then he wakes up.
He was dreaming, wasn’t he?
Wasn’t he?
Sunggyu rolls onto his stomach and unleashes a string of profanities into his pillow.
.
Sunggyu soon finds himself hyperaware of everything associated to one Nam Woohyun: how much he eats (or doesn’t eat), who he’s being overfriendly with in front of the cameras (fanservice) and without (no longer fanservice), how big his smile is when he reads a text (who’s the sender?), or when he’s looking his way (is he looking at him, or just in that general direction?-Sunggyu gets the answer to that question the times Woohyun immediately looks away). Sunggyu is stuck with too many questions, too many quirks, too many mentions (that aren’t mentions) that relate him back to Woohyun, the boy he did not accidentally kiss.
Fuck.
Sunggyu finds it ironic when he’s the one doing the avoiding this time, finding one hundred and one reasons to never be in the same room alone with Woohyun. He’s the leader after all, he has members to look after, schedules to go over, and managers (and directors) to be lectured by (and members to check on-did he already mention that?). He’s got a million things to keep him preoccupied, a million of things to do so how did he end up running into Woohyun in the corridor again?
It’s like a scene straight out of a drama: getting caught at the doorway (to the break room) and not being able to pass each other because of some sort of stupid coincidence wherein both parties end up moving in the same direction, twice. Sunggyu thinks this is stupid. So stupid.
“Uhh-”
“Sorry-”
“Right.”
Woohyun steps aside and Sunggyu passes him and enters the room without another glance, well aware of the eyes staring at the back of his head. He’s tense again, heart beat too loud in his ears as he looks around for the bottled water. Wouldn’t it make sense to just leave them on the table? No one wants to go on an adventure just to quench their thirst.
“They’re in the cupboard, to your right.”
“Huh?” is all he can manage, turning in surprise. He was sure the younger male had already left.
“Hyung,” Sunggyu hears a split second hesitance that would have been almost impossible to pick up if he didn’t know Woohyun’s voice so well-vocal practices and talking sessions and whispering confessions from the off-screen Nam Woohyun-the not-so-confident Nam Woohyun, “you’re looking for the water, right? It’s in the top cupboard, on your right.”
Oh. Sunggyu reaches up and opens the cupboard to reveal the stacked pack of water bottles.
“Thanks.”
Woohyun nods without making eye contact and quickly makes his leave, and Sunggyu is left staring at an empty doorway. He grabs a bottle and stares a little longer than needed, slowly making his way to the door, only to stop beside it. He drops his head against the wall and leaves it there, eyes closed and heart pounding.
Ugh.
.
Sunggyu really thinks that alcohol isn’t the best thing right now, but Dongwoo had insisted since they had the night and next morning off, so why not? (Sunggyu knows Dongwoo’s been antsy about their-Sunggyu’s and Woohyun’s-well-beings and therefore suggested it as a way to clear up whatever was bothering them-if Dongwoo knew what was going on between the two, he definitely would not have suggested drinking).
This is how they end up in their room, Sunggyu’s back pressed against the wall and Woohyun’s mouth crushed against his. Sunggyu unsurprisingly tastes alcohol-it’s Woohyun, but it could have well been him-but maybe his taste buds are too saturated to notice the difference. The desperation and duration of the kiss forces them to come up for air, backing away just an inch so they both can breathe (hot air-so close that it’s being shared). Sunggyu inhales through his mouth as well as through his nose, and Woohyun’s scent hits him full on.
But… this isn’t going to work.
Sunggyu doesn’t get another second-Woohyun is back, lips wet and tongue tangling with his-tastes mingling and fingers threading through his hair. Somewhere-somewhere-in the back of his mind, Sunggyu is telling himself to stop. This isn’t right. It’s wrong.
Wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongrightmaybe?
But Woohyun isn’t the only one who’s drunk.
.
“Are you and Woohyun okay?”
Sunggyu looks up from his phone right as Dongwoo takes a seat beside him, bangs styled away from his forehead and face painted with makeup. There’s 2NE1 in the background, camera snaps and chatter mingling with I am the Best ringing through the studio. Sungyeol’s in front of the drape, using the height none of the other member have to his advantage, no doubt.
“I don’t know,” is the only response he can come up with at the moment.
He hates lying to Dongwoo-and it’s Dongwoo-but they both know the answer to that question.
No.
“Hey Dongwoo…”
Woohyun’s voice trails off and Sunggyu averts his eyes. Woohyun disappears from the corner of his vision and Sunggyu turns his attention back on his phone. He’s saved from Dongwoo’s gaze when the photographer calls the younger male over and Sunggyu is left with overbearingly loud thoughts.
“Woohyun-goon, is there someone you’re interested in right now?”
Sunggyu’s hand tightens around the portable mic, polite smile strained on his face. The interview is actually done (though apparently not officially) and the female interviewer seems like she’s covering her interest by teasing them. Woohyun is standing behind him, unusually quiet and Sunggyu is surprised at himself at how still he is, waiting for the answer.
“Of course,” he hears and Sunggyu’s heart stops, “I’m always interested in our fans.”
This won’t work.
The other members laugh and the interviewer giggles and Sunggyu just wants this day to end.
.
If Sunggyu thought before was bad, it’s nothing compared to how it is now. Before, at least they both kept some sort of pretense when they were in public (and sort of public). Their managers had only given him looks, the members shooting them glances, but their coordinators and stylists and makeup artists hadn’t seemed to notice anything (and thus, their fans were oblivious). But now, Sunggyu isn’t so sure.
Sure, he isn’t exactly helping-they made out, how is he supposed to take that with a level head?-but somehow he’s been added to one of Woohyun’s masks and fanservice and fans were no longer an exception. It doesn’t go as far as public avoidance, but let’s just say the WooGyu fans were suffering. Big time. Or so says the internet.
Sunggyu opens the door to the biggest room and pops a head in. Myungsoo is sitting in Sungyeol’s bunk while Sungyeol is shuffling through clothes, and Dongwoo looks like he’s already fallen asleep.
“Hyung,” Sungyeol says, turning to face him, “no one’s sleeping on the couch tonight, right?”
Sunggyu frowns. He hasn’t been anywhere near the couch at night. “I dunno, don’t ask me.”
“Hyung,” this time it’s Myungsoo, “you two should really talk it out. Whatever it is, it’s getting too obvious, and Dongwoo-hyung’s been worrying, and you know how much he worries.”
It’s really something when he gets a lecture from one of the maknaes.
“Good night,” he replies instead and shuts the door.
When Sunggyu opens the door to Howon and Sungjong’s room, the youngest perks up from the top bunk and the rapper is seated in his, finger sweeping across the iPad in his lap. Howon raises his eyes to meet his across the room.
“Need anything, hyung?”
“No. Good night, guys.”
Sunggyu doesn’t miss the odd look in Howon’s eyes before he shuts the door behind him, staring at the wooden door to his own room. Woohyun’s already in his bunk and Sunggyu quietly drops in his, eyes fixated at the bottom of Woohyun’s bed.
“We can’t keep doing this,” he croaks into the silence-loud enough so that in the past, when they shared a room (and when they shared beds-just close enough for comfort) Woohyun would have been able to hear him.
He doubts his words reach through the barrier, though.
.
It’s the bathroom again, during break from dance practice. Sunggyu looks up from the sink to catch Woohyun in the mirror, standing by the door. It’s the first time the younger has approached him by his own will, and Sunggyu slowly exhales. They stare at each other a little longer than necessary through their reflections, until Sunggyu can’t really take it anymore and spins around.
The split second surge of confidence disappears though now that they’re facing each other. It’s been a while since it’s just been them two in a room (occupying their shared room at the same time not counting) and actually looking at each other without flinching away.
“Hyung.”
“Whatever you want to say, just say it,” he says, trying not to make it sound like an order.
“What, are you blaming me now, hyung?”
Sunggyu balls a fist. “No, but at least I’m not acting like an idiot about it.”
“I’m acting like idiot,” he deadpans, eyes flaring.
“Yes, yes you are,” Sunggyu confirms.
He takes a deep breath and straightens, their bickering actually easing some of the air and giving him another shot of confidence.
“What do you want me to do? Pretend like nothing happened and stay friends?”
There’s an infliction in Woohyun’s words that makes Sunggyu uncomfortable. “Ignoring me like a five year old isn’t any better.”
“Yeah, because you’re the leader and nothing can faze you.”
Woohyun is talking about the interview, because Sunggyu had forced himself over the edge to stay enthusiastic (which he thinks worked since the interviewer was smiling and nodding the whole time) and ended up answering most of the questions, with Dongwoo’s help, anyway.
“Because I’m the leader, I need to make sure Infinite doesn’t suffer over something ridiculous.”
(Define ridiculous, Kim Sunggyu.)
“Getting drunk, that shouldn’t have happened.”
Woohyun’s jaw tightens; he looks affronted. “You kissed me first, the night the power went out.”
Something drops in Sunggyu’s stomach. “What?”
Impossible. The memories from that night are mere fragments now, but still. He wouldn’t go as far as initiate a kiss with the young man.
Would he?
“You kissed me first, that night, hyung,” Woohyun repeats, eyes a chaos of emotions.
He doesn’t know if Woohyun is still angry anymore-the younger main vocal looks more conflicted than anything else. Woohyun visibly swallows and Sunggyu is suddenly aware of his own dry throat.
“We should get back,” he mutters, changing the subject entirely (and secretly not wanting to ever talk about it again).
But the moment he takes a step towards the door Woohyun blocks him, standing in front of him and looking as if he doesn’t really know what he’s doing himself.
“I told Dongwoo… to start practice without us.”
Sunggyu straightens.
He’s been too caught up with the whole notion of kissing another guy, namely his over-confident yet not-so-confident roommate who he might have dreamt of (and freaked out about) in the past. He’s completely forgotten that this is Woohyun, the one he’d despised during trainee days and competed against to earn the title of main vocal. The one who he ended up sharing most of his vocal practices with, ended up sharing a room with, ended up trusting him to take over when looking after six other kids didn’t give him any time for himself. Woohyun, who, back when they could, would simply shift and crawl into his bed, blanket covering them both and knees bumping in the silence. Woohyun, who would cry in his presence and spill his shadows about the entertainment world-the idol life, and Woohyun who he allowed to wrap his firm arms around his waist from behind and nuzzle his face into the base of his neck when being a leader (of an idol group) was just too much.
This is Woohyun, Kim Sunggyu.
Nam Woohyun.
Is kissing him such a bad thing?
So Sunggyu decides to try it again.
.
Dongwoo can’t seem to stop smiling these days. Every time the rapper catches his eye, there’s a grin that spreads onto his face that makes Sunggyu duck and pretend he did not just see their ball of sunshine shooting rays of light his way. Myungsoo and Sungyeol both seem content as well, and Howon’s eyes are enough. Sunggyu even overhears the maknae line, “...it was like when you see mom and dad fighting…” and Sunggyu makes a note to smack the back of Sungjong’s head when he sees him (and Sungjong better have referred to him as the father-there is absolutely no way he’d be the mother figure).
He looks up to spy Dongwoo with his arms around Woohyun in the kitchen as Woohyun attempts to cook them some decent food, and Woohyun’s laughter ringing in his ears, eyes crinkles and little dimple showing.
Yeah, Sunggyu thinks, maybe, this could work.
.
[a/n]: written for infinite secret santa 2012 (which was a long time ago ._.)
Pairing/Focus: WooGyu, Sunggyu-centric
Rating: PG-13
Genre: nonau, angst
Word count: ~3,200
It all starts when Sunggyu accidentally brushes his lips with Woohyun’s.
Long days are normal for an idol, with schedules that cover every possible waking hour and practices and recordings that go beyond the rise and fall of the sun. So it makes sense that more often than not, they’re zombies when they get back to their dorm. The two maknaes have first dibs on the showers (in which Dongwoo had to calm the hyung-line down about seniority-it was a fair rock paper scissors game, after all) and so the rest of them busy themselves with the only free time they really get when they don’t use it to sleep.
Sunggyu remembers having a separate schedule with Woohyun, squished between an evening recording and their midday performance. He remembers having a headache and he remembers Woohyun actually shutting up and staying quiet, for once. He remembers lingering gazes and subtle touches, being steered in the right direction when he was too busy trying not to lose his concentration. Even when they get back to their shared room, the insistent pounding at his temple is relentless and Woohyun remains quiet.
And then the lights go out. Sunggyu takes a blind step in the dark and puts his weight on an article of clothing and his foot slips under him and he falls, landing on his back and his elbows and fuck. A light that's too bright suddenly lands on him and he can make out Woohyun’s silhouette against the brightness of the younger male’s laptop.
Woohyun is murmuring words and all Sunggyu can make out is “hyung” and “power’s out” so Sunggyu mumbles a response: “check on the kids”. Woohyun disappears and Sunggyu shifts so that he’s sitting now, on the floor, leaning back against their bed. His elbows hurt and his back hurts and his head hurts and he just wants to sleep. Sleep-he’s so close to his goal when he feels a body next to his and words he’s not sure are meant for him, because he can hear informal language and “yah” and “idiot” and what? Sunggyu’s too worn out to complain but when he hears another “yah” his eyes stubbornly flutter open (with too much difficulty).
Woohyun looks as equally worn out and Sunggyu’s not even sure if the younger boy is awake (it’s dark so the power must still be out). But Woohyun’s face is close. Really close. Too close. Is Woohyun sleeping?
No-his lips are moving and Sunggyu can hear vague murmurs that could only belong to Woohyun. Woohyun’s mumbling something but Sunggyu’s unfocused attention is on his lips and then there’s a brief silence and the lips still.
Getting closer-slightly agape, curved, and soft. Woohyun’s lips are soft against his as the quiet drums into the back of his mind.
And then Sunggyu wakes up.
.
“Five minutes.”
“But hyung! You got ten minutes already!”
Sunggyu pauses mid-action of ducking back under the covers and turns around, bleary eyed. Dongwoo’s stupid smile is staring him in the face and the older boy wearily rubs his face.
“You’re up already?”
What Sunggyu means to ask is, why isn’t Woohyun waking him up like he always does?
“Yeah, Woohyun said to let you sleep in a bit because you had a headache yesterday, but now you really have to get up.”
“Oh.”
It takes Dongwoo another few tries before Sunggyu fully wakes up, and the older male drags himself to the bathroom to wash and dress and it’s not long before he joins the others in the van. Sunggyu skips breakfast to nap in the car ride to their photoshoot.
Sunggyu doesn’t notice anything at first until he has to talk to Woohyun, only to find that he can never find a moment when it’s just them two. He can’t find any alone time with the younger male, no matter how hard he tries (to the point where his suspicions are confirmed because Woohyun comes up with the stupidest excuses sometimes) and the little moments he gets are short answered and quiet.
Sunggyu holds out until they’re back to just seven, managers lingering outside as they go through their dance routines for the two hours slotted into their schedule. He traps his target by the bathroom when they’re on break from practice. Woohyun raises his brows and acknowledges him with a hum.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
Woohyun answers way too fast and Sunggyu narrows his eyes, except Woohyun doesn’t flinch at his glare.
“You’ve been doing it for days now, don’t tell me nothing’s wrong.”
“I don’t-”
“Woohyun.” Sunggyu’s tone is firm and the younger boy makes a face.
“Hyung,” he starts and Sunggyu swears there’s something that wavers in his eyes. “What do you remember about Tuesday night?”
The elder furrows his brows at the question. “Tuesday. We had performance in Suwon. The power went out.”
There’s a short silence, as if Woohyun is expecting Sunggyu to keep going before the younger boy asks, “Is that it?”
“Woohyun-”
“Hyung, I’ll go back first?”
Sunggyu is left speechless as Woohyun moves around him and back to their practice room, and the elder hangs his head back to exhale a sigh. His mind is distracted the whole way back to the dorm, with Woohyun clearly avoiding him to the point where the other members are shooting them both looks. Sunggyu pretends he doesn’t notice, quietly stealing himself to his (their) room and collapsing into bed.
Tuesday night.
He had a headache.
They danced for three hours.
The lights went out.
…and then?
The door creaks open as Woohyun walks in and Sunggyu quickly closes his eyes. He can hear shuffling to his left and then a moment where the sounds still, and then the light turns off and Woohyun leaves. Sunggyu opens his eyes and stares at the bottom bunk above him. For that split second of quiet, he could smell Woohyun-the faint musk of the morning’s cologne and dry sweat from practice.
He’s hit with a familiar scent that could only belong to his roommate-skin too close, lips soft and unmoving against his. There’s just the slightest of pressure against his mouth, silence overbearingly loud and then he wakes up.
He was dreaming, wasn’t he?
Wasn’t he?
Sunggyu rolls onto his stomach and unleashes a string of profanities into his pillow.
.
Sunggyu soon finds himself hyperaware of everything associated to one Nam Woohyun: how much he eats (or doesn’t eat), who he’s being overfriendly with in front of the cameras (fanservice) and without (no longer fanservice), how big his smile is when he reads a text (who’s the sender?), or when he’s looking his way (is he looking at him, or just in that general direction?-Sunggyu gets the answer to that question the times Woohyun immediately looks away). Sunggyu is stuck with too many questions, too many quirks, too many mentions (that aren’t mentions) that relate him back to Woohyun, the boy he did not accidentally kiss.
Fuck.
Sunggyu finds it ironic when he’s the one doing the avoiding this time, finding one hundred and one reasons to never be in the same room alone with Woohyun. He’s the leader after all, he has members to look after, schedules to go over, and managers (and directors) to be lectured by (and members to check on-did he already mention that?). He’s got a million things to keep him preoccupied, a million of things to do so how did he end up running into Woohyun in the corridor again?
It’s like a scene straight out of a drama: getting caught at the doorway (to the break room) and not being able to pass each other because of some sort of stupid coincidence wherein both parties end up moving in the same direction, twice. Sunggyu thinks this is stupid. So stupid.
“Uhh-”
“Sorry-”
“Right.”
Woohyun steps aside and Sunggyu passes him and enters the room without another glance, well aware of the eyes staring at the back of his head. He’s tense again, heart beat too loud in his ears as he looks around for the bottled water. Wouldn’t it make sense to just leave them on the table? No one wants to go on an adventure just to quench their thirst.
“They’re in the cupboard, to your right.”
“Huh?” is all he can manage, turning in surprise. He was sure the younger male had already left.
“Hyung,” Sunggyu hears a split second hesitance that would have been almost impossible to pick up if he didn’t know Woohyun’s voice so well-vocal practices and talking sessions and whispering confessions from the off-screen Nam Woohyun-the not-so-confident Nam Woohyun, “you’re looking for the water, right? It’s in the top cupboard, on your right.”
Oh. Sunggyu reaches up and opens the cupboard to reveal the stacked pack of water bottles.
“Thanks.”
Woohyun nods without making eye contact and quickly makes his leave, and Sunggyu is left staring at an empty doorway. He grabs a bottle and stares a little longer than needed, slowly making his way to the door, only to stop beside it. He drops his head against the wall and leaves it there, eyes closed and heart pounding.
Ugh.
.
Sunggyu really thinks that alcohol isn’t the best thing right now, but Dongwoo had insisted since they had the night and next morning off, so why not? (Sunggyu knows Dongwoo’s been antsy about their-Sunggyu’s and Woohyun’s-well-beings and therefore suggested it as a way to clear up whatever was bothering them-if Dongwoo knew what was going on between the two, he definitely would not have suggested drinking).
This is how they end up in their room, Sunggyu’s back pressed against the wall and Woohyun’s mouth crushed against his. Sunggyu unsurprisingly tastes alcohol-it’s Woohyun, but it could have well been him-but maybe his taste buds are too saturated to notice the difference. The desperation and duration of the kiss forces them to come up for air, backing away just an inch so they both can breathe (hot air-so close that it’s being shared). Sunggyu inhales through his mouth as well as through his nose, and Woohyun’s scent hits him full on.
But… this isn’t going to work.
Sunggyu doesn’t get another second-Woohyun is back, lips wet and tongue tangling with his-tastes mingling and fingers threading through his hair. Somewhere-somewhere-in the back of his mind, Sunggyu is telling himself to stop. This isn’t right. It’s wrong.
Wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongrightmaybe?
But Woohyun isn’t the only one who’s drunk.
.
“Are you and Woohyun okay?”
Sunggyu looks up from his phone right as Dongwoo takes a seat beside him, bangs styled away from his forehead and face painted with makeup. There’s 2NE1 in the background, camera snaps and chatter mingling with I am the Best ringing through the studio. Sungyeol’s in front of the drape, using the height none of the other member have to his advantage, no doubt.
“I don’t know,” is the only response he can come up with at the moment.
He hates lying to Dongwoo-and it’s Dongwoo-but they both know the answer to that question.
No.
“Hey Dongwoo…”
Woohyun’s voice trails off and Sunggyu averts his eyes. Woohyun disappears from the corner of his vision and Sunggyu turns his attention back on his phone. He’s saved from Dongwoo’s gaze when the photographer calls the younger male over and Sunggyu is left with overbearingly loud thoughts.
“Woohyun-goon, is there someone you’re interested in right now?”
Sunggyu’s hand tightens around the portable mic, polite smile strained on his face. The interview is actually done (though apparently not officially) and the female interviewer seems like she’s covering her interest by teasing them. Woohyun is standing behind him, unusually quiet and Sunggyu is surprised at himself at how still he is, waiting for the answer.
“Of course,” he hears and Sunggyu’s heart stops, “I’m always interested in our fans.”
This won’t work.
The other members laugh and the interviewer giggles and Sunggyu just wants this day to end.
.
If Sunggyu thought before was bad, it’s nothing compared to how it is now. Before, at least they both kept some sort of pretense when they were in public (and sort of public). Their managers had only given him looks, the members shooting them glances, but their coordinators and stylists and makeup artists hadn’t seemed to notice anything (and thus, their fans were oblivious). But now, Sunggyu isn’t so sure.
Sure, he isn’t exactly helping-they made out, how is he supposed to take that with a level head?-but somehow he’s been added to one of Woohyun’s masks and fanservice and fans were no longer an exception. It doesn’t go as far as public avoidance, but let’s just say the WooGyu fans were suffering. Big time. Or so says the internet.
Sunggyu opens the door to the biggest room and pops a head in. Myungsoo is sitting in Sungyeol’s bunk while Sungyeol is shuffling through clothes, and Dongwoo looks like he’s already fallen asleep.
“Hyung,” Sungyeol says, turning to face him, “no one’s sleeping on the couch tonight, right?”
Sunggyu frowns. He hasn’t been anywhere near the couch at night. “I dunno, don’t ask me.”
“Hyung,” this time it’s Myungsoo, “you two should really talk it out. Whatever it is, it’s getting too obvious, and Dongwoo-hyung’s been worrying, and you know how much he worries.”
It’s really something when he gets a lecture from one of the maknaes.
“Good night,” he replies instead and shuts the door.
When Sunggyu opens the door to Howon and Sungjong’s room, the youngest perks up from the top bunk and the rapper is seated in his, finger sweeping across the iPad in his lap. Howon raises his eyes to meet his across the room.
“Need anything, hyung?”
“No. Good night, guys.”
Sunggyu doesn’t miss the odd look in Howon’s eyes before he shuts the door behind him, staring at the wooden door to his own room. Woohyun’s already in his bunk and Sunggyu quietly drops in his, eyes fixated at the bottom of Woohyun’s bed.
“We can’t keep doing this,” he croaks into the silence-loud enough so that in the past, when they shared a room (and when they shared beds-just close enough for comfort) Woohyun would have been able to hear him.
He doubts his words reach through the barrier, though.
.
It’s the bathroom again, during break from dance practice. Sunggyu looks up from the sink to catch Woohyun in the mirror, standing by the door. It’s the first time the younger has approached him by his own will, and Sunggyu slowly exhales. They stare at each other a little longer than necessary through their reflections, until Sunggyu can’t really take it anymore and spins around.
The split second surge of confidence disappears though now that they’re facing each other. It’s been a while since it’s just been them two in a room (occupying their shared room at the same time not counting) and actually looking at each other without flinching away.
“Hyung.”
“Whatever you want to say, just say it,” he says, trying not to make it sound like an order.
“What, are you blaming me now, hyung?”
Sunggyu balls a fist. “No, but at least I’m not acting like an idiot about it.”
“I’m acting like idiot,” he deadpans, eyes flaring.
“Yes, yes you are,” Sunggyu confirms.
He takes a deep breath and straightens, their bickering actually easing some of the air and giving him another shot of confidence.
“What do you want me to do? Pretend like nothing happened and stay friends?”
There’s an infliction in Woohyun’s words that makes Sunggyu uncomfortable. “Ignoring me like a five year old isn’t any better.”
“Yeah, because you’re the leader and nothing can faze you.”
Woohyun is talking about the interview, because Sunggyu had forced himself over the edge to stay enthusiastic (which he thinks worked since the interviewer was smiling and nodding the whole time) and ended up answering most of the questions, with Dongwoo’s help, anyway.
“Because I’m the leader, I need to make sure Infinite doesn’t suffer over something ridiculous.”
(Define ridiculous, Kim Sunggyu.)
“Getting drunk, that shouldn’t have happened.”
Woohyun’s jaw tightens; he looks affronted. “You kissed me first, the night the power went out.”
Something drops in Sunggyu’s stomach. “What?”
Impossible. The memories from that night are mere fragments now, but still. He wouldn’t go as far as initiate a kiss with the young man.
Would he?
“You kissed me first, that night, hyung,” Woohyun repeats, eyes a chaos of emotions.
He doesn’t know if Woohyun is still angry anymore-the younger main vocal looks more conflicted than anything else. Woohyun visibly swallows and Sunggyu is suddenly aware of his own dry throat.
“We should get back,” he mutters, changing the subject entirely (and secretly not wanting to ever talk about it again).
But the moment he takes a step towards the door Woohyun blocks him, standing in front of him and looking as if he doesn’t really know what he’s doing himself.
“I told Dongwoo… to start practice without us.”
Sunggyu straightens.
He’s been too caught up with the whole notion of kissing another guy, namely his over-confident yet not-so-confident roommate who he might have dreamt of (and freaked out about) in the past. He’s completely forgotten that this is Woohyun, the one he’d despised during trainee days and competed against to earn the title of main vocal. The one who he ended up sharing most of his vocal practices with, ended up sharing a room with, ended up trusting him to take over when looking after six other kids didn’t give him any time for himself. Woohyun, who, back when they could, would simply shift and crawl into his bed, blanket covering them both and knees bumping in the silence. Woohyun, who would cry in his presence and spill his shadows about the entertainment world-the idol life, and Woohyun who he allowed to wrap his firm arms around his waist from behind and nuzzle his face into the base of his neck when being a leader (of an idol group) was just too much.
This is Woohyun, Kim Sunggyu.
Nam Woohyun.
Is kissing him such a bad thing?
So Sunggyu decides to try it again.
.
Dongwoo can’t seem to stop smiling these days. Every time the rapper catches his eye, there’s a grin that spreads onto his face that makes Sunggyu duck and pretend he did not just see their ball of sunshine shooting rays of light his way. Myungsoo and Sungyeol both seem content as well, and Howon’s eyes are enough. Sunggyu even overhears the maknae line, “...it was like when you see mom and dad fighting…” and Sunggyu makes a note to smack the back of Sungjong’s head when he sees him (and Sungjong better have referred to him as the father-there is absolutely no way he’d be the mother figure).
He looks up to spy Dongwoo with his arms around Woohyun in the kitchen as Woohyun attempts to cook them some decent food, and Woohyun’s laughter ringing in his ears, eyes crinkles and little dimple showing.
Yeah, Sunggyu thinks, maybe, this could work.
.
[a/n]: written for infinite secret santa 2012 (which was a long time ago ._.)