ugh..
I feel lost in this world sometimes...& I think I am at home too much because I always get deep in thought over things and learn that I can't figure them out, when usually people would just brush it off because its too complicated to think about...
I love my friends, I really do...its just I don't feel as though they are like me, sometimes I feel as if I can't totally be myself around them...and sometimes there are nights when I just wanna have a girls night and hang out, dress up and go to a nice restaurant, and then rent movies and be lazy...why? because we are girls and we can...cause it would be weird if guys were to do it! But we don't do that kind of thing, because there is always something better to do... a party, someones having peoeple over, or if theres nothing to do then we just stay at our own houses or try to find something even if it calls for driving around all night...and i hate that...why can't we just forget about the social life for a minute and realize that friends aren't just party buddies, they are the people that are suppossed to know you inside and out, the people that you can break down and cry to and even when they don't say anything at all just the fact that they are right there crying with you helps, the people that surprise you with small things to make you happy just because your their best friend...am I the only one that thinks this way?
Being homeschooled has its pros and cons...of course its great to stay home all day...but you often find yourself feeling left out and yeah you get filled in but thats not the same as experiencing it...I feel seperated alot...and I haven't said anything to anyone about this before because I don't like to draw attention to myself and I don't want people to misunderstand me as someone who is being selfish or anything...
I hate feeling used, I hate feeling lied to, and I hate feeling the way I do right now...ahhhhh, I guess I wish people would take the time to understand me, because many people think they do, but they really don't...
But anyways...enough about that...I am just in a weird mood and don't really know what I am trying to say...just wanted to get some things off my chest...actually maybe its because of my adderall?! hmm..that could be it
LOVE YOU ALL!