please get up get up get up and help her

[oxsosarcasticxo]

i feel sick. I went to Chris' blurty (he hasnt updated in forever) and i scrolled down randomly (randumnly) and ended up on some entry about some girl named Emma. And for some strange reason I hurt, like I knew her and I lost her and I missed old times or something. All I wanted was to make Chris happy. The sad fact is I couldn't be her. Or any of them. I lasted longer than most- but not as long as two of them. Or I think that's what it was. I miss Chris, I miss hour long phone calls about what we're NOT going to do that night, I miss holding hands, and even those not so good kisses. Being friends isnt the same. I didn't think I'd miss him quite like this. I feel like I can't call him or IM him. Like... I don't know. I feel so sick and alone right now, all because he missed some girl named Emma. Let's think about this- I have "Emma's." Dave... Alyssa... but i don't MISS those times. Maybe that's what I want. To miss the TIMES as well as the people. No, I never miss times. Except last year, last year with Mike.

so much more to say. to empty to squeeze it out of me. more when i can think.

check chicagolights. im adding in stuff that never got there. wonder how that happened....