to whom it may concern:
sometimes i feel like an experimental mouse. locked in a maze, yearning to escape, trying every which way to find a path that will lead me to freedom. knowing there is no possible way to break free, yet i still keep pushing, believing there is a way, a way noone sees but me, a way that will let me leave, a way to make the impossible possible.
the maze- my life; a feeling i have inside.
to be honest, things can't get any better. i have amazing friends. ones that i cherish, and without, i believe i would not be able to live my life. i have an amazing family, one that even though is disappionted by my actions, loves me unconditionally. school is good, and well boys, not at the top of my priorites, but i believe if something is meant to happen it will, and it will be good. so as you can clearly see things are good, however there's something wrong. like that helpless, devoted mouse i feel i can't break free. something is holding me back. i feel like i'm living my life in a maze, living in boundaries set by other people, i'm not free, living the way i want. yes i'm happy with what i have, but is what i have what i need. or.. what i want?
maybe i need a little more faith. or maybe i need to get stronger. stronger in a mental sense so i can break through those walls my maze is made of. show everyone, i'm not an experiment, i'm not a mold, model, or any type of object you can just play with and shape. i have my own limits, desires, and expectations, only i can build a maze thats right for me.
_____________________________________________________
the problem may be that sometimes i might actually let people build a maze for me. i let people judge me, and i change for them. i am now realizing, that is wrong, i have to accept myself, my full self. and that i come with faults. just because i'm not as "pretty" as her, or as "skinny" as her, or as "smart" as her, or as "rich" as her, or as "tall" as her, doesn't mean im not good enough. i am beautiful. i love my body, i love my mind, and most of all i love me, because its who i was made to be. god created me like this for a reason and i should accept it.
i build my image of a "perfect" person from what i see around me, but i dont' look deep inside myself to see that i am perfect. perfect for me, and thats all that matters. i'm sorry if you don't see that.
i hope i don't sound concieted.
i know i'm insecure. i'm trying to fix it.
the maze- my life; a feeling i have inside.
to be honest, things can't get any better. i have amazing friends. ones that i cherish, and without, i believe i would not be able to live my life. i have an amazing family, one that even though is disappionted by my actions, loves me unconditionally. school is good, and well boys, not at the top of my priorites, but i believe if something is meant to happen it will, and it will be good. so as you can clearly see things are good, however there's something wrong. like that helpless, devoted mouse i feel i can't break free. something is holding me back. i feel like i'm living my life in a maze, living in boundaries set by other people, i'm not free, living the way i want. yes i'm happy with what i have, but is what i have what i need. or.. what i want?
maybe i need a little more faith. or maybe i need to get stronger. stronger in a mental sense so i can break through those walls my maze is made of. show everyone, i'm not an experiment, i'm not a mold, model, or any type of object you can just play with and shape. i have my own limits, desires, and expectations, only i can build a maze thats right for me.
_____________________________________________________
the problem may be that sometimes i might actually let people build a maze for me. i let people judge me, and i change for them. i am now realizing, that is wrong, i have to accept myself, my full self. and that i come with faults. just because i'm not as "pretty" as her, or as "skinny" as her, or as "smart" as her, or as "rich" as her, or as "tall" as her, doesn't mean im not good enough. i am beautiful. i love my body, i love my mind, and most of all i love me, because its who i was made to be. god created me like this for a reason and i should accept it.
i build my image of a "perfect" person from what i see around me, but i dont' look deep inside myself to see that i am perfect. perfect for me, and thats all that matters. i'm sorry if you don't see that.
i hope i don't sound concieted.
i know i'm insecure. i'm trying to fix it.