Castle fic: Taboo
Title: Taboo
Fandom: Castle
Characters: ensemble
Rating: G
Word count: 1,841 words
Notes: Thanks to sparky77 for the beta. Happy birthday alethialia! Castle fluff ahoy.
"How much for a wedding invitation?"
"Fifty dollars."
"Surely it's worth more than that!"
"Fifty dollars, kiddo. That's my final offer. Take it or leave it."
"I'll take it."
They shake hands to seal the deal.
*
Ryan scans his card. He doesn't even pause to think before giving his first clue. "A tandom for one."
"Bicycle." Esposito grins.
Ryan checks his next card. No pause again. "Collinsworth's a wide-"
"Receiver."
Two points. Alexis is writing each one down so there can be no arguments. She remembers the fight the last time her mom and dad played Taboo. It wasn't pretty.
"Last time you drank one you threw up on-"
Esposito interrupts quickly. "Screwdriver." Now Alexis is curious as to what, or worse, who he threw up on. She'll have to ask Detective Beckett some time. Or Doctor Parish - she's always willing to dish the dirt.
"Going Swayze."
"Ghost-riding."
"Drop the second hal-"
"Ghost."
Four points already, and the timer's not even half way through. Dad's looking suspicious and Detective Beckett - Kate - looks amused.
"Ball cruncher."
"Nutcracker."
Buzz. Alexis tilts the hourglass on its side.
"That can't be allowed," Dad complains, his hand still on the buzzer.
"It's perfectly legal," Alexis says.
"But-" Dad presses the buzzer again. Alexis knew they shouldn't let him have the buzzer.
"No buts. Don't make me take the buzzer away from you," Alexis says, and restarts the hourglass.
Ryan's ready. "Jeremy Preswick had it."
"Amnesia."
Six points. Dad and Kate got one point on their round.
"You sleep on the-"
"Right."
There's a stifled splutter from Dad. Ryan and Esposito ignore him and keep going. Alexis smiles to herself. She's got her opening, and when the time's right-
"We chased Red Harry along it."
"Subway."
"Seriously!" Dad exclaims, and Alexis glares him into silence before he can say it's not fair.
"Castle is Beckett's biggest-" Detective Ryan leaves the sentence hanging.
"Headache," Detective Esposito says triumphantly, and correctly (as far as the game is concerned, anyway) just as their minute's up.
Alexis makes a note of the score. Nine more points to Ryan and Esposito.
Alexis doesn't think they're cheating. She's checked for hand signals: none. They're looking at each other the usual amount - which is all the time - but it isn't like they can be giving clues with facial ticks. There's no way an eyebrow quirk can be interpreted as bicycle or a nose scratch as ghost. No way. And she knows they didn't see the cards in advance, because she kept them in her room and shuffled them herself, just to make sure her dad didn't try to cheat. Not that she thought he would, exactly, but, well, he does like to win.
So if they're not cheating, then they're just really that good. They're like, married good. Married for years good. Which bodes well for her chances of a profitable evening.
Way better than Dad and Kate. It isn't that they're that bad, exactly. Or at least they wouldn't be that bad, if they didn't keep getting irritated whenever the other one makes a wrong guess - well, Dad does, Kate just narrows her eyes which is probably a politer version of Dad's irritation - and then Dad wastes most of their guessing time pointing out how thoroughly illogical Kate's guess is, and how it clearly had to be bacon not chicken.
"It could just as easily-"
"How? How could anyone think-?"
"You just really suck at clues."
"I'm a writer! A mystery writer! I'm brilliant at clues. Millions of admiring readers would agree." Dad preens.
Kate shoots him down. "And I'm a detective. I'm trained to be brilliant at interpreting clues."
"Um, guys." Alexis waves the timer at them.
"I don't suck," Dad insists. He's actually pouting. That hasn't worked on her in years, and isn't working on Kate.
"You really do, Dad. And look," Alexis says as the last grain drops through the hourglass, "now you're out of time."
Actually, come to think of it, Dad and Kate play like a married couple too. Just the bickering kind of married couple, rather than the devoted and living in each other's pockets for so long that they can finish each other's sentences kind.
And now Dad and Kate are fighting over the buzzer. Maybe they're still at the pulling pigtails stage of their courtship. Alexis snorts at the idea, then has to pretend her coke went down the wrong way when everyone looks at her.
By the time Grams comes home, Esposito and Ryan have an unassailable lead, and Dad's complaining that he should have put money on the game, because then he'd have had some incentive to play well. Alexis thinks he'd actually just be grumpier because he'd have lost so much money - there's no way anyone in the history of the game could beat Esposito and Ryan.
"What are you playing?" Grams asks, clinking ice into a glass, then changing her mind, putting the ice back, and pouring her drink straight.
"Taboo," Alexis says. "I'm refereeing."
"Taboo? Mmm hmm," Grams says. Alexis recognizes that mmm hmm - Grams is about to reminisce, and it's probably not going to be rated PG. Grams downs her drink and perches on the edge of Alexis' chair. "Sounds like I should have come home earlier. Have I ever told you about the time I spent with Sheik Al-Faqih? Such a devilish man - looks, money, everything, and a reputation to match. Of course, he was married, three wives at the time, or was it four? But anyhow, that really just made it all more interesting. The things they could-"
"Mother!" Dad interrupts, and points at Alexis with his little-pitchers face on. Which is a bit unfair really, as it's only Dad who's embarrassed, and it isn't as though Alexis doesn't know Grams' past is, well, a bit risqué. And her present, come to think of it. Besides, Alexis wants to hear the story - she'll just have to get it out of Grams later, with all the really juicy details that she won't share when Dad's around.
"It isn't that kind of taboo, Grams." Alexis winks at her, and Grams winks back.
"You have to describe a word without using any of five forbidden words," Detective Ryan explains, holding out his empty bottle as Esposito passes him.
"Oh, darlings," Grams says, and looks thoroughly dismayed. "You mean to say you've been sitting around all evening playing children's board games. Don't tell me - you've been drinking cocoa too, and you're going to make s'mores later."
"Beer, actually," Dad says. "Except Alexis, naturally, although I did try to persuade her to have a bottle." That's true, though Alexis is fairly certain he wasn't serious. And she hates beer anyway. "But s'mores, now that's an excellent idea. I'm shocked I didn't think of it myself."
"I need another drink," Grams says despairingly, and then her eyes light up. "Or, better yet, I think I'll go and check out Dieter's party. Remember Dieter? I met him at New Years - he took quite a shine to me, and kept insisting I should come tonight. It should be just starting to take off about now. Have fun, kiddos." She waves, already half way across the room, and breezes out the door.
"Yo, Castle, is this Jason Giambi's signature?" Esposito's by the bookcase, holding up Dad's prized baseball. Great - instead of Grams reminiscing, they're going to get Dad reminiscing. About baseball.
"I'm going to make s'mores," Alexis says, tuning out the story about how Dad met Giambi. She's heard every possible version more than once.
She watches them all as she prepares the s'mores. Kate stares at her dad whenever she thinks no one is looking, and Dad's look always softens when it lands on Kate. Ryan and Esposito follow each other around the room, still finishing each other's sentences. She thinks they're all cute, and all four ridiculously oblivious.
The s'mores are delicious. Almost as tasty as the ones Dad makes. They're also very crumbly and sticky, and Detective Ryan ends up with marshmallow smeared on his chin. Alexis ducks her head to hide her grin when Esposito wipes the marshmallow off with his thumb. She doesn't think he even realizes what he's just done.
"Dude, did you just wipe food off my face?" Ryan sounds affronted. "That's-"
"Cute," Alexis interrupts. "What?" she asks, as everyone looks at her. "It is."
Ryan flushes slightly, but Esposito just looks amused.
"So when did you two get married? And how come we weren't invited to the wedding?" Dad asks. "Or the housewarming party? I'm just dying to see how you've decorated the bedroom. I bet Ryan's side is neater. That's the left side, am I right?" Alexis knew he'd give them shit for that side-of-the-bed clue - she was counting on it. This is just too easy.
"We're partners, and partners get to know each other," Ryan points out. He sounds very dignified and sincere, and Alexis really, really wants to laugh out loud. She thinks Kate does too, judging by the way she's biting her lip.
"Okay, how about we try a little experiment. What side of the bed do I sleep on?" Dad asks Kate.
"Haven't a clue," she says.
"And are we partners?" Dad asks.
Kate hesitates. "Well-" Dad glares at her. She caves. "Okay, yes, effectively we're partners."
"But you don't know which side of the bed I sleep on."
"Nope." She shakes her head for emphasis.
"And I don't know which side you sleep on either. Huh, guess we're just not that kind of partner."
"Very funny, Castle," Esposito says, rolling his eyes. Dad does tend to provoke a lot of eye-rolling.
"Seriously, I'd better get a wedding invite, or you won't get a mention in the next book. Or, hmm, that's a thought-" Dad's got an evil glint in his eyes. "A murder at your wedding. And a jealous lover from the past, spurned by one of you - Ryan, I think, you'd be better at spurning-"
"Hey," Ryan objects.
Esposito hands him a beer. "It's true, you'd be good at spurning."
"That's harsh, bro."
Esposito shrugs.
Dad ignores them. "The jealous lover would be the red herring of course. Far too obvious. But perfect as the second murder victim."
Esposito shakes his head in disbelief. "You're really enjoying ruining our wedding day, aren't you, Castle?"
"Oh, yes," Dad says happily.
This is Alexis' moment. She pounces. "You don't have to invite Dad, but you'll invite me, won't you?" She smiles hopefully at them both, and Ryan flushes even more.
"Absolutely," Esposito says. "You're first on the list. You can be our flower-girl, or whatever girl role there is that you'd like."
"Thank you! Have another s'more," Alexis offers, and grins triumphantly. She's just got herself a wedding invitation with barely any effort at all - it totally counts, even if it wasn't entirely serious - and won fifty dollars from Grams. A very profitable evening.
//
Fandom: Castle
Characters: ensemble
Rating: G
Word count: 1,841 words
Notes: Thanks to sparky77 for the beta. Happy birthday alethialia! Castle fluff ahoy.
"How much for a wedding invitation?"
"Fifty dollars."
"Surely it's worth more than that!"
"Fifty dollars, kiddo. That's my final offer. Take it or leave it."
"I'll take it."
They shake hands to seal the deal.
*
Ryan scans his card. He doesn't even pause to think before giving his first clue. "A tandom for one."
"Bicycle." Esposito grins.
Ryan checks his next card. No pause again. "Collinsworth's a wide-"
"Receiver."
Two points. Alexis is writing each one down so there can be no arguments. She remembers the fight the last time her mom and dad played Taboo. It wasn't pretty.
"Last time you drank one you threw up on-"
Esposito interrupts quickly. "Screwdriver." Now Alexis is curious as to what, or worse, who he threw up on. She'll have to ask Detective Beckett some time. Or Doctor Parish - she's always willing to dish the dirt.
"Going Swayze."
"Ghost-riding."
"Drop the second hal-"
"Ghost."
Four points already, and the timer's not even half way through. Dad's looking suspicious and Detective Beckett - Kate - looks amused.
"Ball cruncher."
"Nutcracker."
Buzz. Alexis tilts the hourglass on its side.
"That can't be allowed," Dad complains, his hand still on the buzzer.
"It's perfectly legal," Alexis says.
"But-" Dad presses the buzzer again. Alexis knew they shouldn't let him have the buzzer.
"No buts. Don't make me take the buzzer away from you," Alexis says, and restarts the hourglass.
Ryan's ready. "Jeremy Preswick had it."
"Amnesia."
Six points. Dad and Kate got one point on their round.
"You sleep on the-"
"Right."
There's a stifled splutter from Dad. Ryan and Esposito ignore him and keep going. Alexis smiles to herself. She's got her opening, and when the time's right-
"We chased Red Harry along it."
"Subway."
"Seriously!" Dad exclaims, and Alexis glares him into silence before he can say it's not fair.
"Castle is Beckett's biggest-" Detective Ryan leaves the sentence hanging.
"Headache," Detective Esposito says triumphantly, and correctly (as far as the game is concerned, anyway) just as their minute's up.
Alexis makes a note of the score. Nine more points to Ryan and Esposito.
Alexis doesn't think they're cheating. She's checked for hand signals: none. They're looking at each other the usual amount - which is all the time - but it isn't like they can be giving clues with facial ticks. There's no way an eyebrow quirk can be interpreted as bicycle or a nose scratch as ghost. No way. And she knows they didn't see the cards in advance, because she kept them in her room and shuffled them herself, just to make sure her dad didn't try to cheat. Not that she thought he would, exactly, but, well, he does like to win.
So if they're not cheating, then they're just really that good. They're like, married good. Married for years good. Which bodes well for her chances of a profitable evening.
Way better than Dad and Kate. It isn't that they're that bad, exactly. Or at least they wouldn't be that bad, if they didn't keep getting irritated whenever the other one makes a wrong guess - well, Dad does, Kate just narrows her eyes which is probably a politer version of Dad's irritation - and then Dad wastes most of their guessing time pointing out how thoroughly illogical Kate's guess is, and how it clearly had to be bacon not chicken.
"It could just as easily-"
"How? How could anyone think-?"
"You just really suck at clues."
"I'm a writer! A mystery writer! I'm brilliant at clues. Millions of admiring readers would agree." Dad preens.
Kate shoots him down. "And I'm a detective. I'm trained to be brilliant at interpreting clues."
"Um, guys." Alexis waves the timer at them.
"I don't suck," Dad insists. He's actually pouting. That hasn't worked on her in years, and isn't working on Kate.
"You really do, Dad. And look," Alexis says as the last grain drops through the hourglass, "now you're out of time."
Actually, come to think of it, Dad and Kate play like a married couple too. Just the bickering kind of married couple, rather than the devoted and living in each other's pockets for so long that they can finish each other's sentences kind.
And now Dad and Kate are fighting over the buzzer. Maybe they're still at the pulling pigtails stage of their courtship. Alexis snorts at the idea, then has to pretend her coke went down the wrong way when everyone looks at her.
By the time Grams comes home, Esposito and Ryan have an unassailable lead, and Dad's complaining that he should have put money on the game, because then he'd have had some incentive to play well. Alexis thinks he'd actually just be grumpier because he'd have lost so much money - there's no way anyone in the history of the game could beat Esposito and Ryan.
"What are you playing?" Grams asks, clinking ice into a glass, then changing her mind, putting the ice back, and pouring her drink straight.
"Taboo," Alexis says. "I'm refereeing."
"Taboo? Mmm hmm," Grams says. Alexis recognizes that mmm hmm - Grams is about to reminisce, and it's probably not going to be rated PG. Grams downs her drink and perches on the edge of Alexis' chair. "Sounds like I should have come home earlier. Have I ever told you about the time I spent with Sheik Al-Faqih? Such a devilish man - looks, money, everything, and a reputation to match. Of course, he was married, three wives at the time, or was it four? But anyhow, that really just made it all more interesting. The things they could-"
"Mother!" Dad interrupts, and points at Alexis with his little-pitchers face on. Which is a bit unfair really, as it's only Dad who's embarrassed, and it isn't as though Alexis doesn't know Grams' past is, well, a bit risqué. And her present, come to think of it. Besides, Alexis wants to hear the story - she'll just have to get it out of Grams later, with all the really juicy details that she won't share when Dad's around.
"It isn't that kind of taboo, Grams." Alexis winks at her, and Grams winks back.
"You have to describe a word without using any of five forbidden words," Detective Ryan explains, holding out his empty bottle as Esposito passes him.
"Oh, darlings," Grams says, and looks thoroughly dismayed. "You mean to say you've been sitting around all evening playing children's board games. Don't tell me - you've been drinking cocoa too, and you're going to make s'mores later."
"Beer, actually," Dad says. "Except Alexis, naturally, although I did try to persuade her to have a bottle." That's true, though Alexis is fairly certain he wasn't serious. And she hates beer anyway. "But s'mores, now that's an excellent idea. I'm shocked I didn't think of it myself."
"I need another drink," Grams says despairingly, and then her eyes light up. "Or, better yet, I think I'll go and check out Dieter's party. Remember Dieter? I met him at New Years - he took quite a shine to me, and kept insisting I should come tonight. It should be just starting to take off about now. Have fun, kiddos." She waves, already half way across the room, and breezes out the door.
"Yo, Castle, is this Jason Giambi's signature?" Esposito's by the bookcase, holding up Dad's prized baseball. Great - instead of Grams reminiscing, they're going to get Dad reminiscing. About baseball.
"I'm going to make s'mores," Alexis says, tuning out the story about how Dad met Giambi. She's heard every possible version more than once.
She watches them all as she prepares the s'mores. Kate stares at her dad whenever she thinks no one is looking, and Dad's look always softens when it lands on Kate. Ryan and Esposito follow each other around the room, still finishing each other's sentences. She thinks they're all cute, and all four ridiculously oblivious.
The s'mores are delicious. Almost as tasty as the ones Dad makes. They're also very crumbly and sticky, and Detective Ryan ends up with marshmallow smeared on his chin. Alexis ducks her head to hide her grin when Esposito wipes the marshmallow off with his thumb. She doesn't think he even realizes what he's just done.
"Dude, did you just wipe food off my face?" Ryan sounds affronted. "That's-"
"Cute," Alexis interrupts. "What?" she asks, as everyone looks at her. "It is."
Ryan flushes slightly, but Esposito just looks amused.
"So when did you two get married? And how come we weren't invited to the wedding?" Dad asks. "Or the housewarming party? I'm just dying to see how you've decorated the bedroom. I bet Ryan's side is neater. That's the left side, am I right?" Alexis knew he'd give them shit for that side-of-the-bed clue - she was counting on it. This is just too easy.
"We're partners, and partners get to know each other," Ryan points out. He sounds very dignified and sincere, and Alexis really, really wants to laugh out loud. She thinks Kate does too, judging by the way she's biting her lip.
"Okay, how about we try a little experiment. What side of the bed do I sleep on?" Dad asks Kate.
"Haven't a clue," she says.
"And are we partners?" Dad asks.
Kate hesitates. "Well-" Dad glares at her. She caves. "Okay, yes, effectively we're partners."
"But you don't know which side of the bed I sleep on."
"Nope." She shakes her head for emphasis.
"And I don't know which side you sleep on either. Huh, guess we're just not that kind of partner."
"Very funny, Castle," Esposito says, rolling his eyes. Dad does tend to provoke a lot of eye-rolling.
"Seriously, I'd better get a wedding invite, or you won't get a mention in the next book. Or, hmm, that's a thought-" Dad's got an evil glint in his eyes. "A murder at your wedding. And a jealous lover from the past, spurned by one of you - Ryan, I think, you'd be better at spurning-"
"Hey," Ryan objects.
Esposito hands him a beer. "It's true, you'd be good at spurning."
"That's harsh, bro."
Esposito shrugs.
Dad ignores them. "The jealous lover would be the red herring of course. Far too obvious. But perfect as the second murder victim."
Esposito shakes his head in disbelief. "You're really enjoying ruining our wedding day, aren't you, Castle?"
"Oh, yes," Dad says happily.
This is Alexis' moment. She pounces. "You don't have to invite Dad, but you'll invite me, won't you?" She smiles hopefully at them both, and Ryan flushes even more.
"Absolutely," Esposito says. "You're first on the list. You can be our flower-girl, or whatever girl role there is that you'd like."
"Thank you! Have another s'more," Alexis offers, and grins triumphantly. She's just got herself a wedding invitation with barely any effort at all - it totally counts, even if it wasn't entirely serious - and won fifty dollars from Grams. A very profitable evening.
//