SGA ficlet: 'TransAtlantica'
Title: TransAtlantica
Author: Signe
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 806
A/N: For nightchik, who requested SGA, John/Rodney, prompt word 'undressed' during the short-lived exodus to greatest journal last night.
"Open up, Colonel," Rodney shouted.
"Hold on, I'm just getting undressed," Sheppard called from behind the locked door.
Rodney humphed, tongue poking between his lips as he concentrated on the locking mechanism. He just needed to shift this crystal like so, and yes, there was the faint click he was after.
Under five seconds - not bad, if he said so himself. Which of course he did, as there was no one else around at this time of night to say it for him.
"It's nothing I haven't seen before," he grumbled as he walked in, "so making me break in was even more pointless than usua-oh my god, what are you wearing?"
"I said I was getting undressed, Rodney." Sheppard was smiling. No, not smiling, smirking. He was standing in the middle of the room, smirking, half-naked apart from one garment hanging off his hips. One very pink monstrosity of a garment.
"Yes, but I didn't know I was meant to take that so literally. Undressing doesn't have to involve an actual dress being removed. It's-you're-oh my god, you're a cross-dresser. You're a cross-dressing Colonel, and that's why they sent you to the Pegasus galaxy. I knew you had to have some truly terrible, horrible secret."
"Rodney," John interrupted calmly.
"You're not going to have a sex change, are you? Because the whole gay thing is fine with me. I'm gay, you're gay, and that's good, that works well, very well. It couldn't work better if I'd planned it myself. And I really think I prefer you as a man, and after all, it's not as though you could hide something like turning into a woman from the rest of the team, and that'd be a lot worse than being caught out as a cross-dresser, and-"
"Rodney." Louder and firmer this time.
"Besides, you'd have to rely on hormone pills every day, and what if the Daedelus was delayed and you couldn't get them and started to revert back and your new breasts started shrinking just as we'd started getting used to them and-"
"Rodney," John shouted.
"Yes."
"Just breathe. And don't talk."
"Okay." Rodney gulped. "I can do that."
"I'm not a cross-dresser. And I'm very happy as a male. I don't want breasts, and I'm definitely not having anything snipped off."
"They don't actually snip that much, it's more of a-"
"Rodney."
"No sex change. Got it. That's good. That's very good. Quite a relief in fact. Because I would have supported you, naturally, but it-"
"Rodney, don't forget the breathing."
Rodney nodded, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He felt a little weak at the knees - it had been a long day.
"Remember you missed a meeting the other day when you and Radek thought you'd found a grand unified theory of everything on the Atlantis mainframe?"
Rodney nodded again, sadly. The T.O.E. they found had turned out to be rules for the Ancients' version of a four dimensional Tic Tac Toe - it really was a universal game - not a theory of everything.
"Towards the end of the meeting, Teyla asked about pantomimes. Seems someone had mentioned them at lunch the other day, and she thought some sort of joint Athosian and Atlantean entertainment evening would be a good idea. Elizabeth agreed."
"So the dress?"
"Is my audition dress for Cinderella."
"You want to play Cinderella?" Rodney didn't bother to restrain his hilarity, slapping his thighs as he laughed.
John glared, though it was half-hearted to say the least, and simply wasn't as effective as it was when he was in uniform.
"No, one of the ugly sisters. The women can fight over the role of Cinderella."
They both smiled at that image. If it came to a fight, the winner was inevitable.
"Anyway," John continued blithely as he padded over to a box in the corner of the room, holding the bunched up fabric awkwardly around his waist. As he pulled a bundle of orange material out of the box, Rodney blanched.
"No."
"There have to be at least two ugly sisters. And Ronon's got his heart set on being the Prince."
"No."
"Aww, come on Rodney." John was wheedling now, which was low. Very low of him, especially when he was half naked. Even the dress didn't detract from that.
John held up the garment, letting go of his own dress in the process. The costume he was displaying looked as though it had started life as a sheet, and was the color of the almost-carrots the Athosians had recently harvested, but John was now completely naked, and not entirely oblivious of that fact, and that never helped Rodney's thinking process.
"Why do you get the pink dress?" Rodney managed, determined not to cave completely. "I can't wear citrus colors."
Author: Signe
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 806
A/N: For nightchik, who requested SGA, John/Rodney, prompt word 'undressed' during the short-lived exodus to greatest journal last night.
"Open up, Colonel," Rodney shouted.
"Hold on, I'm just getting undressed," Sheppard called from behind the locked door.
Rodney humphed, tongue poking between his lips as he concentrated on the locking mechanism. He just needed to shift this crystal like so, and yes, there was the faint click he was after.
Under five seconds - not bad, if he said so himself. Which of course he did, as there was no one else around at this time of night to say it for him.
"It's nothing I haven't seen before," he grumbled as he walked in, "so making me break in was even more pointless than usua-oh my god, what are you wearing?"
"I said I was getting undressed, Rodney." Sheppard was smiling. No, not smiling, smirking. He was standing in the middle of the room, smirking, half-naked apart from one garment hanging off his hips. One very pink monstrosity of a garment.
"Yes, but I didn't know I was meant to take that so literally. Undressing doesn't have to involve an actual dress being removed. It's-you're-oh my god, you're a cross-dresser. You're a cross-dressing Colonel, and that's why they sent you to the Pegasus galaxy. I knew you had to have some truly terrible, horrible secret."
"Rodney," John interrupted calmly.
"You're not going to have a sex change, are you? Because the whole gay thing is fine with me. I'm gay, you're gay, and that's good, that works well, very well. It couldn't work better if I'd planned it myself. And I really think I prefer you as a man, and after all, it's not as though you could hide something like turning into a woman from the rest of the team, and that'd be a lot worse than being caught out as a cross-dresser, and-"
"Rodney." Louder and firmer this time.
"Besides, you'd have to rely on hormone pills every day, and what if the Daedelus was delayed and you couldn't get them and started to revert back and your new breasts started shrinking just as we'd started getting used to them and-"
"Rodney," John shouted.
"Yes."
"Just breathe. And don't talk."
"Okay." Rodney gulped. "I can do that."
"I'm not a cross-dresser. And I'm very happy as a male. I don't want breasts, and I'm definitely not having anything snipped off."
"They don't actually snip that much, it's more of a-"
"Rodney."
"No sex change. Got it. That's good. That's very good. Quite a relief in fact. Because I would have supported you, naturally, but it-"
"Rodney, don't forget the breathing."
Rodney nodded, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He felt a little weak at the knees - it had been a long day.
"Remember you missed a meeting the other day when you and Radek thought you'd found a grand unified theory of everything on the Atlantis mainframe?"
Rodney nodded again, sadly. The T.O.E. they found had turned out to be rules for the Ancients' version of a four dimensional Tic Tac Toe - it really was a universal game - not a theory of everything.
"Towards the end of the meeting, Teyla asked about pantomimes. Seems someone had mentioned them at lunch the other day, and she thought some sort of joint Athosian and Atlantean entertainment evening would be a good idea. Elizabeth agreed."
"So the dress?"
"Is my audition dress for Cinderella."
"You want to play Cinderella?" Rodney didn't bother to restrain his hilarity, slapping his thighs as he laughed.
John glared, though it was half-hearted to say the least, and simply wasn't as effective as it was when he was in uniform.
"No, one of the ugly sisters. The women can fight over the role of Cinderella."
They both smiled at that image. If it came to a fight, the winner was inevitable.
"Anyway," John continued blithely as he padded over to a box in the corner of the room, holding the bunched up fabric awkwardly around his waist. As he pulled a bundle of orange material out of the box, Rodney blanched.
"No."
"There have to be at least two ugly sisters. And Ronon's got his heart set on being the Prince."
"No."
"Aww, come on Rodney." John was wheedling now, which was low. Very low of him, especially when he was half naked. Even the dress didn't detract from that.
John held up the garment, letting go of his own dress in the process. The costume he was displaying looked as though it had started life as a sheet, and was the color of the almost-carrots the Athosians had recently harvested, but John was now completely naked, and not entirely oblivious of that fact, and that never helped Rodney's thinking process.
"Why do you get the pink dress?" Rodney managed, determined not to cave completely. "I can't wear citrus colors."