Ficlet: 'Anything You Can Do'
Title: Anything You Can Do
Author: Signe
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
A/N: A cookie to scribblinlenore for checking that Buffy doesn't sound as British as Spike.
Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you.
-- Irving Berlin
from Annie Get Your Gun
"What about Michael, hey, love?"
Buffy stared at Spike, actually listening to him for the first time since they'd started this evening's patrol, two rather tedious hours earlier.
Lots of vamps, not a single serious test.
Buffy had given herself the challenge of killing each one with a different move, just to liven things up a bit. She was rather proud of the backward flip with a twist and a flying kick mid-air that had downed one vampire who'd stupidly tried to creep up on her from behind. That was a new one to add to her list.
Spike's nattering had just been constant background noise, jabber jabber jabber, the pffft of another vampire dusted, jabber jabber jabber.
"Michael?" She scrunched her nose up, desperately trying to think who this Michael might be. Then she berated herself for the nose scrunching: she was going to get wrinkles if she didn't stop it.
"You don't like it, do you?" He sounded oddly dejected, in that way he had when he was considering making her feel guilty about something. Emotional blackmail, Giles always called it. Spike had it down pat.
"What about him? Do I know him?" A sudden, horrific thought rushed in. "Oh God, tell me Dawn's not dating him!"
"Have you listened to a word I've said all evening?"
Spike could sound really pompous when he got offended, kinda like Giles sometimes when Buffy ignored him, and oh my God no, Buffy so wasn't going there, not if she were ever going to have sex with Spike again. Which hopefully she was, once she got rid of the mental sound of Spike talking dirty to her in Giles' voice.
Buffy whimpered.
"Buffy? Slayer senses deserting you tonight? Gone deaf, lost your voice?"
"Uh?" Buffy paused, pondered the possibility of successfully bluffing, then gave in when she realized she couldn't even begin to guess what he'd been rambling on about while she'd been admiring the muscles of the vampire she'd just dusted and trying out a new up-and-under movement to get the stake under his ribcage.
"No. Sorry, Spike." She cocked her head to one side, and turned a beaming smile on him. "I am interested though. Definitely interested. Really."
"I need to change my name."
"Why?" The smile was gone instantly, and a look of horror replaced it. "What've you done?! Are the police after you?"
"Love! That's hurtful, very hurtful. I just thought, seeing as how I'm different now, having a soul and all, that I should have a new name. Something more appropriate. Something-soulful."
"What about your name from before- when you were hu- What about William?"
Spike looked at her, total disgust on his face. "William? William was a tosser who wrote bloody awful poetry. William's dead, capice? No, I need something completely new."
"Hence the Michael suggestion. I get it."
"So, what d'you think of it?"
Buffy shrugged. "It's okay, but why Michael?"
"Um, well, you see there was this- Duck!"
Spike hurled a stake into the space her head had occupied a tiny bit of a second earlier, and then they got really busy. By the time Buffy had gotten slime from a disgusting little snot-spraying demon all over her new pink halter-top - and why had she worn that slaying? why did she never learn? - she'd forgotten all about the name change. It wasn't until the next day that Buffy remembered that she'd not gotten an answer from Spike.
Why Michael?
Spike had looked cagey, as though he was trying to think up some tall tale. And that meant she wanted to know the answer. So now she was googling 'Michael name meaning' and getting-
A biblical name Michael - like the Lord. One of the archangels in the Bible.
An archangel, huh? Buffy was pretty sure that was meant to be one up on an angel. She looked that up too, and, sure enough, it was a high-ranking angel.
Aaaah, now it made sense.
Higher than an angel, not an ordinary angel.
A super-angel.
Buffy laughed.
Spike might have changed, and be all soulified, but he'd never, ever, not while they were both still not-breathing, stop competing with Angel.
Author: Signe
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
A/N: A cookie to scribblinlenore for checking that Buffy doesn't sound as British as Spike.
Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you.
-- Irving Berlin
from Annie Get Your Gun
"What about Michael, hey, love?"
Buffy stared at Spike, actually listening to him for the first time since they'd started this evening's patrol, two rather tedious hours earlier.
Lots of vamps, not a single serious test.
Buffy had given herself the challenge of killing each one with a different move, just to liven things up a bit. She was rather proud of the backward flip with a twist and a flying kick mid-air that had downed one vampire who'd stupidly tried to creep up on her from behind. That was a new one to add to her list.
Spike's nattering had just been constant background noise, jabber jabber jabber, the pffft of another vampire dusted, jabber jabber jabber.
"Michael?" She scrunched her nose up, desperately trying to think who this Michael might be. Then she berated herself for the nose scrunching: she was going to get wrinkles if she didn't stop it.
"You don't like it, do you?" He sounded oddly dejected, in that way he had when he was considering making her feel guilty about something. Emotional blackmail, Giles always called it. Spike had it down pat.
"What about him? Do I know him?" A sudden, horrific thought rushed in. "Oh God, tell me Dawn's not dating him!"
"Have you listened to a word I've said all evening?"
Spike could sound really pompous when he got offended, kinda like Giles sometimes when Buffy ignored him, and oh my God no, Buffy so wasn't going there, not if she were ever going to have sex with Spike again. Which hopefully she was, once she got rid of the mental sound of Spike talking dirty to her in Giles' voice.
Buffy whimpered.
"Buffy? Slayer senses deserting you tonight? Gone deaf, lost your voice?"
"Uh?" Buffy paused, pondered the possibility of successfully bluffing, then gave in when she realized she couldn't even begin to guess what he'd been rambling on about while she'd been admiring the muscles of the vampire she'd just dusted and trying out a new up-and-under movement to get the stake under his ribcage.
"No. Sorry, Spike." She cocked her head to one side, and turned a beaming smile on him. "I am interested though. Definitely interested. Really."
"I need to change my name."
"Why?" The smile was gone instantly, and a look of horror replaced it. "What've you done?! Are the police after you?"
"Love! That's hurtful, very hurtful. I just thought, seeing as how I'm different now, having a soul and all, that I should have a new name. Something more appropriate. Something-soulful."
"What about your name from before- when you were hu- What about William?"
Spike looked at her, total disgust on his face. "William? William was a tosser who wrote bloody awful poetry. William's dead, capice? No, I need something completely new."
"Hence the Michael suggestion. I get it."
"So, what d'you think of it?"
Buffy shrugged. "It's okay, but why Michael?"
"Um, well, you see there was this- Duck!"
Spike hurled a stake into the space her head had occupied a tiny bit of a second earlier, and then they got really busy. By the time Buffy had gotten slime from a disgusting little snot-spraying demon all over her new pink halter-top - and why had she worn that slaying? why did she never learn? - she'd forgotten all about the name change. It wasn't until the next day that Buffy remembered that she'd not gotten an answer from Spike.
Why Michael?
Spike had looked cagey, as though he was trying to think up some tall tale. And that meant she wanted to know the answer. So now she was googling 'Michael name meaning' and getting-
A biblical name Michael - like the Lord. One of the archangels in the Bible.
An archangel, huh? Buffy was pretty sure that was meant to be one up on an angel. She looked that up too, and, sure enough, it was a high-ranking angel.
Aaaah, now it made sense.
Higher than an angel, not an ordinary angel.
A super-angel.
Buffy laughed.
Spike might have changed, and be all soulified, but he'd never, ever, not while they were both still not-breathing, stop competing with Angel.