"there ain't nothin' gonna stand in our way"
It feels like the world is falling apart for so many people who I love. And while it is disheartening and troubling... at the same time I feel strong. I feel like I can help them. And I really want to. It's not like I feel good about myself, even though I think it could be interpreted that way. It's more like... I can help others, and that is what I want to do. I want to lift them up. I want them to feel supported. And I am being given the opportunity to give back to those friendships, and to God as well. I am aware of my service. I can feel God working in these times. My faith is growing, and has grown, and now is the time for me to use it and to work it. I have caught myself smiling in these past two days while listening to music on my iPod because I am just so much more grateful to God for guiding me and working in my life, and the lives of all those who I know. And it's not like I credit Him with all that has happened, because I realize that I had a part in it as well, and that other people had a part in it as well, but I feel like He is pushing us towards His direction. God's love endures everything, and that is something that strengthens us in these times. That is the pillar on which we can lean, on which we can depend. So that should just give us more incentive to strengthen it in the times that are going well, so that in the times that we can doubt very easily, that strong faith will knock that doubt over and out.
And yes, I have said it before, multiple times, but I don't think this realization will ever get old. I am so blessed to know the people who I know. I don't know where I would be without them, what my life would be like if I didn't know them. I have felt sort of isolated in my school recently, but at the same time I don't feel isolated at all because I know I still have community in my life, and that I still have God.
But my time with DYC is coming to an end. Yes, I know, I can still come and visit, but my membership as a high-school student who plans the retreats is coming to an end. It's the end of an era. It's hit me before, just like my realization of the amazing people in my life, but it really, really hit me on Saturday late-afternoon, after our DYC briefing where we were told our retreat would need to be cut short because of the blizzard, and when we went back into the Doran Center where John was playing "There Is No One Like You" and all the retreatants were doing the actions on their own with none of us telling them what to do, and the joy in the room... I was never going to be in that situation ever again playing the same role that I love. I am never going to attend another Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts Senior High Retreat and have planned it as a high-school student. And when I just thought about it, that I was never going to sing "There Is No One Like You" in that context again, I sat down next to Tammy in the back, dumbfounded. Then I saw that Tammy was crying, and I knew it had hit her too. Her tears triggered my tears and we just sat there in the back, hugging. It was especially emotional because I was crying with Tammy, who I love so dearly, but who I don't often get a chance to see or talk to, and who doesn't really speak up that often. But it was clear that DYC meant as much to her as it did to me. And that was powerful.
There are so many people to pray for. Then again, there are always so many people to pray for. I'm just more aware of some instances than I have been in other times.
And yes, I have said it before, multiple times, but I don't think this realization will ever get old. I am so blessed to know the people who I know. I don't know where I would be without them, what my life would be like if I didn't know them. I have felt sort of isolated in my school recently, but at the same time I don't feel isolated at all because I know I still have community in my life, and that I still have God.
But my time with DYC is coming to an end. Yes, I know, I can still come and visit, but my membership as a high-school student who plans the retreats is coming to an end. It's the end of an era. It's hit me before, just like my realization of the amazing people in my life, but it really, really hit me on Saturday late-afternoon, after our DYC briefing where we were told our retreat would need to be cut short because of the blizzard, and when we went back into the Doran Center where John was playing "There Is No One Like You" and all the retreatants were doing the actions on their own with none of us telling them what to do, and the joy in the room... I was never going to be in that situation ever again playing the same role that I love. I am never going to attend another Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts Senior High Retreat and have planned it as a high-school student. And when I just thought about it, that I was never going to sing "There Is No One Like You" in that context again, I sat down next to Tammy in the back, dumbfounded. Then I saw that Tammy was crying, and I knew it had hit her too. Her tears triggered my tears and we just sat there in the back, hugging. It was especially emotional because I was crying with Tammy, who I love so dearly, but who I don't often get a chance to see or talk to, and who doesn't really speak up that often. But it was clear that DYC meant as much to her as it did to me. And that was powerful.
There are so many people to pray for. Then again, there are always so many people to pray for. I'm just more aware of some instances than I have been in other times.