woooohoooo!
What an amazing day! First one that I've had in so long. I think I sort of fuel on how many people I see each day. If I get to say to a ton of people in the halls, then I get rejuvenated and I get so happy just saying hi to them. Or if I have a good lunch time, which I did today. I realize that the people I eat lunch with.. like the ones I sat with today, I haven't hung out with almost all of them outside of school this year at all. But I still feel comfortable sitting with them and conversing.
My Secret Solhamazafun(fun instead of dan, because Ramadan is not happening right now) gave me the most amazing finale present. It had so much.. a parrot beanie baby, two Hershey's chocolate bars, a large Hershey's kiss, Lindt mini chocolates, a really pretty cloth fan, and two passes to Starbucks and a Hot Chocolate. And the haikus she wrote for me yesterday... oh it was fantastic!
AND THEN! My Barnard interview was so fun! My interviewer was so nice and I don't know why I just felt so much more comfortable than I did with the rest of my past interviewers.. she was so vibrant and full of life, and she was in her 60s and actually graduated from Brookline High in '58, then went to Barnard. I don't really feel like I forgot to tell her anything.. because I realize that in my past interviews I've forgotten to tell them that I'm in Camerata... but I didn't feel awkward with her and Starbucks was a nice comfortable setting. She was so nice. :)
REFLECTION: I think I am very un-independent sometimes. Like I rely on other people so much and am pretty incapable of making my own decisions or going places by myself. I think I was less like this last year when I developed more of a leader-like role in my group of friends whereas in my group of friends this year, I feel a whole lot more dependent. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they always have to drive me because they all have their licenses and I still only have my permit... yeah haha that's a good analogy, I suppose. But now that I have recognized it, I really want to change it. I want to be capable of not being scared of not following others. I want to feel like I can express myself without being easily intimidated and that I can stand by my own beliefs and thoughts. I feel like I definitely developed that confidence last year but for some reason I've declined in that area this year. But I know it's still in me, and that I am fully capable of revitalizing it.
WAHOOOOO how self-motivated do I feel right now? VERY!
This vacation will be a nice break, although not really because I obviously have about 7 applications to finish... and then all this financial aid crap that I don't really know how it works... yeeeah it's okay. I'm going to work on my Barnard application now, YEAAAH!