(no subject)
well today was ok.. then got kinda bad at the end =\
ok well at work me and my boss talked about michelle comming in to work and then after work me and michelle talked for awhile and caught up on things and she is gonna come in tomorrow to fill out an application. and then after work i came home and me and my mom went to join this gym and we worked out a lil bit and that was fun hehe =D
then i came home and talked to sarah for awhile and then brian came over and we went to the bank so he could cash his check and then we went to eat and then we came back here cuz he had hw to do but we ended up watching sponge bob! lol dont ask. and then he did some homework... yeah i dunno.. there has to be something wrong with me or something.. cuz well tonight i got a big thing of paranoia tonight. and well it really got to me cuz i am sick of it. and well i broke down in tears and brian didnt know what the fuck was wrong with me. yeah and i picked the wrong time for that cuz it was the time he was suposed to leave.
he only knows that i was paranoid.. he doesnt know the whole thing and well i know he is reading this so i guess i will say more in here.. but yeah.. ok i know it must sound really stupid and maybe someone should hit me for this.. but yeah well i read a note from his ex that was in his backpack.. ok yeah it was an old note so it has nothing to do with now.. but i dunno it got to me.. i guess i am just scared that maybe he would still love her or something. i guess i am still scared to get hurt. and well he tells me over and over that i have nothing to worry about and i feel bad cuz sometimes i cant help it. i really love him and i never want to loose him and well that is why it got to me soo much. i guess knowing that he really loved someone in the past i am afraid that those feelings might come back.
i know i shouldnt say that cuz i have loved once and am now over it completely.. but well i know that i am over that and well i am not brian ya know?? and i know he is prob reading this thinking i am crazy but i cant help it. i love him and i am scared to loose him. =\ and sometimes it scares me thinking about loosing him.
brian.. i'm sorry about tonight.. i know u were freaked out lol but i love you and when u asked me what was wrong and i said that i loved it.. i wasnt lying! that is wy i was upset.. there was just more detail. sorry =\ <3 u soo much.. oh by the way thank u for bringing my cell back.. my ass would have been grass if i didnt have it! *muah*
ok well at work me and my boss talked about michelle comming in to work and then after work me and michelle talked for awhile and caught up on things and she is gonna come in tomorrow to fill out an application. and then after work i came home and me and my mom went to join this gym and we worked out a lil bit and that was fun hehe =D
then i came home and talked to sarah for awhile and then brian came over and we went to the bank so he could cash his check and then we went to eat and then we came back here cuz he had hw to do but we ended up watching sponge bob! lol dont ask. and then he did some homework... yeah i dunno.. there has to be something wrong with me or something.. cuz well tonight i got a big thing of paranoia tonight. and well it really got to me cuz i am sick of it. and well i broke down in tears and brian didnt know what the fuck was wrong with me. yeah and i picked the wrong time for that cuz it was the time he was suposed to leave.
he only knows that i was paranoid.. he doesnt know the whole thing and well i know he is reading this so i guess i will say more in here.. but yeah.. ok i know it must sound really stupid and maybe someone should hit me for this.. but yeah well i read a note from his ex that was in his backpack.. ok yeah it was an old note so it has nothing to do with now.. but i dunno it got to me.. i guess i am just scared that maybe he would still love her or something. i guess i am still scared to get hurt. and well he tells me over and over that i have nothing to worry about and i feel bad cuz sometimes i cant help it. i really love him and i never want to loose him and well that is why it got to me soo much. i guess knowing that he really loved someone in the past i am afraid that those feelings might come back.
i know i shouldnt say that cuz i have loved once and am now over it completely.. but well i know that i am over that and well i am not brian ya know?? and i know he is prob reading this thinking i am crazy but i cant help it. i love him and i am scared to loose him. =\ and sometimes it scares me thinking about loosing him.
brian.. i'm sorry about tonight.. i know u were freaked out lol but i love you and when u asked me what was wrong and i said that i loved it.. i wasnt lying! that is wy i was upset.. there was just more detail. sorry =\ <3 u soo much.. oh by the way thank u for bringing my cell back.. my ass would have been grass if i didnt have it! *muah*