(no subject)
what is going on? life is such a jumble of emotions lately, i can barely tell up from down. today i got to hang out with alana and joe. eric and margret and rick came later on. alana and joe and i went to friendlys, watched mean girls. and then the guide to recognizing your saints. it was nice spending time with them. the day before that i spent the day at ambers. i miss her so much sometimes. she is my world and i barely get to see her. and tomorrow im hanging out with kaitlin, im so excited. <3
im watching sex and the city. it makes me think on a deeper level. i swear it is the best show created. although i love degrassi, it is fun to watch.. its not spectacular. everwood is also amazing, the way ephrem and aimee think is beautiful. i wish there were more people around here who thought on deeper levels. it seems all boys are your friends to get with you, and all girls are there to backstab you. maybe its the age, or the city, or just people in general. i guess i wont find out for quite some time.
i used to have a million friends, i thought they were all such great friends. but i was so niave. great friends are hard to come by, they really are. almost every person i thought was so amazing has turned their back. and even if they try to get back in your life.. it seems myself as well as that person has grown in seperate directions and its almost impossible to save that old friendship simply because you arent the same people anymore.
i have, i believe 6 friends who would drop just about anything for me. i know amber would in a heart beat, whenever i need her i know she would be there for me as best she could. when i was balling my eyes out freshman year because of a stupid boy, while everyone else was having fun and getting drunk and doing whatever.. she was the only one who stayed in the house with me and just held me while i cried.
kyle has been with me through a lot already and it hasnt been a long period of time, im so thankful for him being in my life. when mother bullshit comes to surface he doesnt turn his back on me in the slightest, he sticks up for me to my mother and takes me for a drive and holds me and knows just how to rub my back to make me feel safe again.
then theres steve, who has been there for me through quite a bit and droped whatever he was doing to pick me up from my grandparents house when i was crying and got in a huge fight with everyone.
then theres eric who always tries to talk sense into me when im flustered about things, he is the one who tries to keep my feet on the ground.
then theres colin who has been there for me for the past 6 years, ignoring his friends to meet me at the top of my street and watch me cry and hold me and tell me he'll fix it.. and then somehow using his intelligence to convince my mother to let me come home.
and last theres alana, who always welcomes me with open arms to her home as an escape she makes me laugh and always has an open ear with plenty of advice.
thoes six people are the closest to my heart. i am so lucky to have them in my life, and i have other good friends.. some who i used to consider true friends and family. kelsey, kaitlin, amanda, nicole, tiffini.. but we've drifted. i miss them. kelsey and i have hungout recently, which i was so happy to do.. but it seems her life is so different, its not uncomfortable talking to her or anything, its just different. and kaitlin and i will get our chance tomorrow. hopefully its just like its always been. amanda and i are getting close again also. and nicole and tiffini.. i dont know they seem so far away. i just want to feel that sense of security and structure that i used to with all of my friends.
Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But its comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart.
Sex and the City.
you are all always in my heart.
im watching sex and the city. it makes me think on a deeper level. i swear it is the best show created. although i love degrassi, it is fun to watch.. its not spectacular. everwood is also amazing, the way ephrem and aimee think is beautiful. i wish there were more people around here who thought on deeper levels. it seems all boys are your friends to get with you, and all girls are there to backstab you. maybe its the age, or the city, or just people in general. i guess i wont find out for quite some time.
i used to have a million friends, i thought they were all such great friends. but i was so niave. great friends are hard to come by, they really are. almost every person i thought was so amazing has turned their back. and even if they try to get back in your life.. it seems myself as well as that person has grown in seperate directions and its almost impossible to save that old friendship simply because you arent the same people anymore.
i have, i believe 6 friends who would drop just about anything for me. i know amber would in a heart beat, whenever i need her i know she would be there for me as best she could. when i was balling my eyes out freshman year because of a stupid boy, while everyone else was having fun and getting drunk and doing whatever.. she was the only one who stayed in the house with me and just held me while i cried.
kyle has been with me through a lot already and it hasnt been a long period of time, im so thankful for him being in my life. when mother bullshit comes to surface he doesnt turn his back on me in the slightest, he sticks up for me to my mother and takes me for a drive and holds me and knows just how to rub my back to make me feel safe again.
then theres steve, who has been there for me through quite a bit and droped whatever he was doing to pick me up from my grandparents house when i was crying and got in a huge fight with everyone.
then theres eric who always tries to talk sense into me when im flustered about things, he is the one who tries to keep my feet on the ground.
then theres colin who has been there for me for the past 6 years, ignoring his friends to meet me at the top of my street and watch me cry and hold me and tell me he'll fix it.. and then somehow using his intelligence to convince my mother to let me come home.
and last theres alana, who always welcomes me with open arms to her home as an escape she makes me laugh and always has an open ear with plenty of advice.
thoes six people are the closest to my heart. i am so lucky to have them in my life, and i have other good friends.. some who i used to consider true friends and family. kelsey, kaitlin, amanda, nicole, tiffini.. but we've drifted. i miss them. kelsey and i have hungout recently, which i was so happy to do.. but it seems her life is so different, its not uncomfortable talking to her or anything, its just different. and kaitlin and i will get our chance tomorrow. hopefully its just like its always been. amanda and i are getting close again also. and nicole and tiffini.. i dont know they seem so far away. i just want to feel that sense of security and structure that i used to with all of my friends.
Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But its comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart.
Sex and the City.
you are all always in my heart.