(no subject)
Everything is so weird lately. I love being home, dont get me wrong. But I've been working sooo much lately. Its a shocker if I even have a day off. But I have because I lied to them an said I was going to long island to visit friends tomorrow. In reality I just needed two days off just to have off. But tomorrow I'm going to school with christine to like observe and see if I like the idea of teaching still, since I kind of need to get an idea of what I want to do with my life. Well I think I want to be a teacher, but I need to make sure thats not what I want to do, and if thasts the case, I need to figure out what I really do want to do with my life. I'm sucha mess. I've been shopping online, im becoming my sister. scary. Christmas was fun, it all went by oh so fast. Things were kind of shaky with me an sur in the beginning of break, and Im glad theyre cleared up now. I was really sad without my best friend. I kind of had to let it go, and just realize that no matter what, things have changed, and now I know, that whne it comes down to it, I, as her best friend, am no longer even close to comparable to mike. Theres no contest anymore, and he wins hands down. And to be completely honest it really sucks, but theres nothing I can do about it. Its the way it is now. But its okay I guess. This break has been fun. I don't want to go back, like I do, but at the same time i dont. I miss the crew at school, kind of. I mean I miss Erin and Katlyn and Kristen and James and tim. But the rest, not so much. Conor is oh my gosh the most annoying person sometimes. He always asks me what I'm doing and tells me to come to pearl river and hang out with him. Its like dude....if I was gonna go to pearl river....I probably wouldn't hang out wit you anyway. Not even trying to bve mean but if I do go to pearl river before breaks over I'm going to hang out with pat and eddie and sig and that bunch. Not conor. I see him enough at school. And hes just so annoying now, but hes a nice kid and I feel bad. I just could never ever see him like that, and that really sucks for hm but I need to get away from him at school, cuz hes just annoying....or suffocating. Kristen said something the other day that made me laugh, she was like everyone says your going to meet your future husband in college....but how are we gonna do that if we hang out with the same people every day!!? and shes absolutely right. I figure....we gotta hang out weith different people next semester. or not even that, but to make friends with more people....try to meet different people. i dont know. in classes or something. Its just an idea, i guess ill try. I want to meet a guy...one I actually like. It cant be half asked. im just weird like that. if i have doubts in my mind about the person, i should stay away...only because thats whne it doesnt work out. and most of the time, it doesnt work out because of ....yours truly. <3