ode to slacking
hey, livejournal. babe. it's been a while hasn't it? I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd just, like. drop by, see how things are going. You mind if I come in, do you? It's kind of wet out here.
Thanks. you're so sweet. that's what I always loved about you, livejournal.
..
oh, shit. sorry, I got lost in your eyes. Anyways, how are you? Man, it's been so fucking LONG.
oh, yeah. how did that work out? no permanent damage, right? No infections or yellow fever or that junk? Hey, dont' worry, only God can judge you. and he will, too!
oh shit. please stop crying, I was trying to lighten the mood. You don't even know he was my kid. no offense, but you really sleep around a lot.
What? I didn't say you were a slut, okay?. I only said you were pretty easy access back in college, livejournal, you know what I'm saying? an "open-shut" case.
I'm talking about your legs.
Jesus, livejournal, you cry more than, like. a fucking. thing that cries, shit. what's an apt comparison?
water buffalo?
damn. anyways, I'm drunk and I figured if I came over here you'd give me pity sex, livejournal, which initially feels good, but later fills me with regret and shame. which is cool.
ow, no need to shove! jesus christ, you're screwing with the perfect alignment of my ironic trucker's hat upon my carefully mussed hair.
ok, that's definitely a fork. in my arm, ow.
hospital now.
Thanks. you're so sweet. that's what I always loved about you, livejournal.
..
oh, shit. sorry, I got lost in your eyes. Anyways, how are you? Man, it's been so fucking LONG.
oh, yeah. how did that work out? no permanent damage, right? No infections or yellow fever or that junk? Hey, dont' worry, only God can judge you. and he will, too!
oh shit. please stop crying, I was trying to lighten the mood. You don't even know he was my kid. no offense, but you really sleep around a lot.
What? I didn't say you were a slut, okay?. I only said you were pretty easy access back in college, livejournal, you know what I'm saying? an "open-shut" case.
I'm talking about your legs.
Jesus, livejournal, you cry more than, like. a fucking. thing that cries, shit. what's an apt comparison?
water buffalo?
damn. anyways, I'm drunk and I figured if I came over here you'd give me pity sex, livejournal, which initially feels good, but later fills me with regret and shame. which is cool.
ow, no need to shove! jesus christ, you're screwing with the perfect alignment of my ironic trucker's hat upon my carefully mussed hair.
ok, that's definitely a fork. in my arm, ow.
hospital now.