(no subject)
Mother don't tell me friends are the ones that I lose
'Cause they'd bleed before you
And sometimes family are the ones you'd choose
It's too late now
I hold on to this life I found
The things in life I love:
1. My friends. All of you. My friends have become my family. More than that even. They are the ones I turn to, the ones I love, the one I count on, the ones I laugh with. They can never be replaced. =) All you gay boys especially. Where would i be without the latest stories of ass-fuckery that you provide me with...probably out getting laid, but who needs straight boys when you can have talk of double-ended dildos, astroglide, and boys in fishnet shirts. =)
2. Dancing. There is no feeling like the one you get from waltzing across a dancefloor with your best friends. Nothing like doing a chacha turn in a skirt that drags. Nothing like letting go, having someone else be in charge, and laughing when you mess up. I miss that the most of all the thngs I have ever had to give up. The grace, the simplicity, the exquisite beauty of watching someone glide across the floor in a tango. It is...the only thing I hope to do for the rest of my life.
3. TV Shows on DVD. Very convenient if you ask me.
4. Music. the most expressive thing I know. No mater your mood, there is a song to match it. I love that I can turn in iTunes and just listen to someone else singing the wordsI wish I could have written for myself.
5. New people. Because you never know what you can learn from the people around you, especially if you don't know them that well.
6. School. Strange one I know. But here I can be who I am. The film nerd, the geek, the would-be movie-maker. And everyone here is the same as me. So I feel accepted here. I have friends here who know what I'm talking about when I discuss my projects, de-noising video in Boris, changing levels on photos, room tone. =)
7. My phone. The idea of cell phones in general. Because no matter where I am, I know that people can reach me. that I am only a dial away and I can always be there when someone needs me.
8. The apartment. It's home. I have laughed and cried so many times there. And despite the once apparent smell of astroglide that would engulf the place, I know that I can go there to escape anything, to feel home, to be safe.
9. Starbucks. My escape from life is an iced triple grande soy caramel macchiato with a toffee amond bar. Simple, but heavenly. That place facilitates good conversation, good laughter, good smoking, good writing. =) It is where I can go, no matter what city I am in, and just be.
10. My family. they are idiosyncratic, drama, and will always have my back when I need them too...no matter how much I wish they wouldn't.
11. My car. Bobby is the white light leading me to wherever my heaven is at the moment. Some of the best memories I have happened in that car. Like dancing while driving to Flag with a video camera =)
12. Silence. Driving on the freeway, windows down, with no music blaring. Sitting in the lab at 10pm when it's empty. Lying in bed and closing your eyes with no distractions. Peace.
13. Smoking. Because you are bound to make new friends with it. Or better friends out of acquaintences. And it's the best exit when you just need to get out of some place. It is a release of every stress with each exhale. It is the diet plan for addicts. It is the expression of all things depressing and frustrating in life. And it goes really well with that whole silence thing. The crackle of fiberglass in a Kool mild 100. The sweet smell of cloves. The gritty taste that lingers in your mouth after a red, the taste that needs to be washed down with...
14. Dr Pepper. my morning saviour. My instant high. My water.
15. Crushes. I don't have these anymore, but I have people crush on me. Which is new and different from my ugly duckling days of yore. =) Ever person loves to have that one person that just fawns over them, compliments them, wants them. No matter if the crush is reciprocated or not. =)
16. Journals. Which should never be cencored. =) The easiest way to get out your thoughts is to express them to a completely objective medium. Typing out your feelings makes you rationalize the things you are thinking. Knowing that other people are reading makes you clarify your statements, for other people, and coincidentally, yourself.
Ok, I don't know why I felt the need to post this, but I did. And now it's 10 and I have to leave the lab. But I encourage you all to think about the things in your life that you love. Why you love them. what they mean to you. Life is short. Express often and without restraint. Love every day, every moment, every instant that you can. Don't give into worrying because it's tiring and fruitless. Instead, enjoy everything that is aroudn you. and above all...LIVE!!!!
'Cause they'd bleed before you
And sometimes family are the ones you'd choose
It's too late now
I hold on to this life I found
The things in life I love:
1. My friends. All of you. My friends have become my family. More than that even. They are the ones I turn to, the ones I love, the one I count on, the ones I laugh with. They can never be replaced. =) All you gay boys especially. Where would i be without the latest stories of ass-fuckery that you provide me with...probably out getting laid, but who needs straight boys when you can have talk of double-ended dildos, astroglide, and boys in fishnet shirts. =)
2. Dancing. There is no feeling like the one you get from waltzing across a dancefloor with your best friends. Nothing like doing a chacha turn in a skirt that drags. Nothing like letting go, having someone else be in charge, and laughing when you mess up. I miss that the most of all the thngs I have ever had to give up. The grace, the simplicity, the exquisite beauty of watching someone glide across the floor in a tango. It is...the only thing I hope to do for the rest of my life.
3. TV Shows on DVD. Very convenient if you ask me.
4. Music. the most expressive thing I know. No mater your mood, there is a song to match it. I love that I can turn in iTunes and just listen to someone else singing the wordsI wish I could have written for myself.
5. New people. Because you never know what you can learn from the people around you, especially if you don't know them that well.
6. School. Strange one I know. But here I can be who I am. The film nerd, the geek, the would-be movie-maker. And everyone here is the same as me. So I feel accepted here. I have friends here who know what I'm talking about when I discuss my projects, de-noising video in Boris, changing levels on photos, room tone. =)
7. My phone. The idea of cell phones in general. Because no matter where I am, I know that people can reach me. that I am only a dial away and I can always be there when someone needs me.
8. The apartment. It's home. I have laughed and cried so many times there. And despite the once apparent smell of astroglide that would engulf the place, I know that I can go there to escape anything, to feel home, to be safe.
9. Starbucks. My escape from life is an iced triple grande soy caramel macchiato with a toffee amond bar. Simple, but heavenly. That place facilitates good conversation, good laughter, good smoking, good writing. =) It is where I can go, no matter what city I am in, and just be.
10. My family. they are idiosyncratic, drama, and will always have my back when I need them too...no matter how much I wish they wouldn't.
11. My car. Bobby is the white light leading me to wherever my heaven is at the moment. Some of the best memories I have happened in that car. Like dancing while driving to Flag with a video camera =)
12. Silence. Driving on the freeway, windows down, with no music blaring. Sitting in the lab at 10pm when it's empty. Lying in bed and closing your eyes with no distractions. Peace.
13. Smoking. Because you are bound to make new friends with it. Or better friends out of acquaintences. And it's the best exit when you just need to get out of some place. It is a release of every stress with each exhale. It is the diet plan for addicts. It is the expression of all things depressing and frustrating in life. And it goes really well with that whole silence thing. The crackle of fiberglass in a Kool mild 100. The sweet smell of cloves. The gritty taste that lingers in your mouth after a red, the taste that needs to be washed down with...
14. Dr Pepper. my morning saviour. My instant high. My water.
15. Crushes. I don't have these anymore, but I have people crush on me. Which is new and different from my ugly duckling days of yore. =) Ever person loves to have that one person that just fawns over them, compliments them, wants them. No matter if the crush is reciprocated or not. =)
16. Journals. Which should never be cencored. =) The easiest way to get out your thoughts is to express them to a completely objective medium. Typing out your feelings makes you rationalize the things you are thinking. Knowing that other people are reading makes you clarify your statements, for other people, and coincidentally, yourself.
Ok, I don't know why I felt the need to post this, but I did. And now it's 10 and I have to leave the lab. But I encourage you all to think about the things in your life that you love. Why you love them. what they mean to you. Life is short. Express often and without restraint. Love every day, every moment, every instant that you can. Don't give into worrying because it's tiring and fruitless. Instead, enjoy everything that is aroudn you. and above all...LIVE!!!!