All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream
Wow. I cant believe the break is over. It seems like yesterday I was coming home all chipper ready for christmas.. and know back to school. I really need to step it up in school. I want to do good. College is not as far away as it seems. Its hard sometimes.
I went to the mall yesterday. Got some calenders. Diddn't really do much. I really need to do something with my life. The only time I am out of the house is for work. I wanna go out more. Do things, Have fun. I want to take more chances. Try to evolve out of this shy state I am in. I don't want to go on with my life thinking, I could have done something. I could have taken chances. Yeah its gonna be hard, but its something that I need to do. For 15 years I have been this person, but not anymore. I need to change.
I really need to be a better friend. I try and try, but I dont know. Things have just been getting worse. I don't know whose falut it is, but I want to go back to 8th grade. That was the best year. I diddn't go home crying or have to worry about anything. Life was perfect. Now ever since I have gone to highschool its like a popularity contest. Everyone is trying to be someone they aren't. I dont want ot do that, I want to be myself and have people like me for me. And I want that guy to notice me. Its really scary, becuase I dont want to take the first step. Maybe that is something I need to do. Take chances. Tell him, if he doesn't like me, then I will move on. Hey it may be hard, but its something that I'm gonna have to do. I can't be this shy little girl anymore. What am I going to do in the real world? Make my brother do everything for me?
I need to get out more. Do something with my life. Just not be the person I am now. I think I might join the Y. Go swimming and stuff and work out. I need to change. My life is spinning out of control, the way I am now. I need to get a hold on things. Have a voice for myself and speak up. Otherwise I am just going to keep sinking in the hole, that keeps getting deeper and deeper.
I went to the mall yesterday. Got some calenders. Diddn't really do much. I really need to do something with my life. The only time I am out of the house is for work. I wanna go out more. Do things, Have fun. I want to take more chances. Try to evolve out of this shy state I am in. I don't want to go on with my life thinking, I could have done something. I could have taken chances. Yeah its gonna be hard, but its something that I need to do. For 15 years I have been this person, but not anymore. I need to change.
I really need to be a better friend. I try and try, but I dont know. Things have just been getting worse. I don't know whose falut it is, but I want to go back to 8th grade. That was the best year. I diddn't go home crying or have to worry about anything. Life was perfect. Now ever since I have gone to highschool its like a popularity contest. Everyone is trying to be someone they aren't. I dont want ot do that, I want to be myself and have people like me for me. And I want that guy to notice me. Its really scary, becuase I dont want to take the first step. Maybe that is something I need to do. Take chances. Tell him, if he doesn't like me, then I will move on. Hey it may be hard, but its something that I'm gonna have to do. I can't be this shy little girl anymore. What am I going to do in the real world? Make my brother do everything for me?
I need to get out more. Do something with my life. Just not be the person I am now. I think I might join the Y. Go swimming and stuff and work out. I need to change. My life is spinning out of control, the way I am now. I need to get a hold on things. Have a voice for myself and speak up. Otherwise I am just going to keep sinking in the hole, that keeps getting deeper and deeper.