Accidental Death Skit
Accidental Death
Emily is crouched down near the table while Cindy is lying over two chairs.
Emily: [inner monologue] Because of some stupid little argument, I accidentally killed my friend, Cindy. Her head suddenly hit the table and she… died…
Emily: [out loud] Oh, what am I going to do?!
Zeena: [knocks on the door] Hey Emily! It’s Zeena! Open up!
Emily: Uh, just a sec!
Emily picks up Cindy and attempts to make her sit up right. Zeena walks right in as soon as Cindy is sitting up.
Zeena: Oh, Cindy’s already here?
Emily: Yeah. She’s asleep.
Zeena: Asleep? [walks past Cindy and gives her a light slap] Why are you sleeping?
Cindy slumps over and Emily quickly runs to pull her back up.
Zeena: So have you eaten yet?
Emily: Eaten? Yeah.
Zeena sits next to Cindy.
Zeena: So Cindy, let’s go get something to eat.
Emily: No. Cindy shouldn’t eat.
Zeena: Why?
Emily: She doesn’t like to eat.
Zeena: What? Everyone needs to eat.
Emily: Uh, she just ate.
Zeena: Well, I’m still thirsty. Do you have anything to drink?
Emily: To drink? No.
Zeena: Well, can you go out and get me a Snapple?
Emily: … If you want it, you go get it.
Zeena: I don’t want to. It’s cold outside! You go!
Emily: No, you go!
Zeena: Just go!
Emily: No, you go!
Zeena: Cindy, [shakes Cindy’s knee] would you mind going out for us?
Emily: On a second thought, I’ll go get it.
Zeena: Huh? What made you change your mind so quickly?
Emily: Uh, well… For me, going out to buy drinks is a chance for personal glory!
Zeena: What? That’s just sad…
Emily: I’ll be back.
Zeena: Thanks.
Emily: Oh and by the way, because Cindy’s sleeping, don’t touch her.
Zeena: Why would I?
Emily: Okay. I’m going now. [runs off the stage]
Zeena: Well, you’ve been quiet for the entire time. Hey, Cindy. You’re not really sleeping are you? Hey Cindy! [shakes her shoulder to wake her up] Cindy! [pushes her] How the heck are you still sleeping?
Cindy falls off of her chair and on to the ground, still dead.
Zeena: Cindy? [stands up] Your head hit the ground pretty hard. Cindy? [walks over to her] Cindy? Hey! [lightly slaps her face] Cindy! Cin-! [puts her head on Cindy’s chest and gasps] Oh my God, I killed Cindy! [lightly slaps her more] Cindy! Cindy! Sit up…
Zeena pulls Cindy off of the ground and tries to make her sit in her chair.
Zeena: Cindy! Cindy!
Emily: Hey!
Zeena quickly goes back to her seat as Emily steps onto the stage.
Emily: [panting as she hands Zeena the Snapple] Here’s your Snapple. [sits down]
Zeena: Thanks.
There is an awkward silence as both of them sit and fidget. They slowly face each other.
Zeena: So… Cindy can sleep really well.
Emily: Yeah, like a rock
Zeena: Yeah.
Cindy suddenly slumps over and hits the ground face down.
Zeena: She sure can sleep well.
Emily: She can sleep very well.
Zeena/Emily: [at the same time] Umm…/About that…
Zeena: What?
Emily: Cindy…
Zeena: Yeah?
Emily: Is Cindy… dead?
Zeena: …. Uh, actually, she just talked.
Emily: [stands up] What!? She talked!?
Zeena: While you were out buying Snapple. She said something about going for a burger.
Emily: Are you serious!? She talked?! What’s this all about, Cindy!? [slaps Cindy] You nearly scared me to death! [picks Cindy up under her arms and swings her arms around] C’mon, Cindy! Say something now!
Zeena: I’m sorry! I lied about her talking!
Emily: What? [drops Cindy onto the floor] Did she talk?
Zeena: [about to break down] She didn’t.
Emily: But didn’t you say she wanted to go get a burger?
Zeena: How is that possible!? She doesn’t even like burgers!
Emily: But…
Zeena: I’m calling the police. [goes over to the table with the phone on it]
Emily: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Calm down.
Emily tries to stop Zeena from picking up the phone.
Zeena: How can I possibly stay calm!?
Emily: Wait!
Zeena: What are you waiting for?! Cindy’s dead! [exasperated sigh/deep breath]
Emily goes sit in the chair with her head in hands while Zeena walks over to Cindy who’s still on the ground.
Zeena: While you were out buying Snapple, I was joking around with her. She rolled off the chair and… [breaks down crying] I killed Cindy!
Emily has a lightbulb moment as she looks up with a sly grin.
Emily: Is that so? [trying to hold in evil laughter] That’s very unfortunate.
Zeena: How can you laugh at a time like this?!
Emily: It’s okay. You better turn yourself in.
Zeena: But what if I told them that Cindy committed suicide?
Emily: You’d only get into more trouble.
Zeena: You’re right… Once they see Cindy’s body, they’re going to figure it out anyway.
Emily: What? Really?
Zeena: [stands up and walks over to the phone] I’ll go call them now.
Emily: [stops Zeena from getting the phone] Wait. Actually… it’s better not to turn yourself in.
Zeena: Then what should I do?
Emily: Listen. [grabs Zeena by the shoulders] You’re a really good friend to me and I don’t want to see a good friend end up behind bars. I’ll help you get through this!
Zeena: [crying] You’re such a good person. I’m really lucky to have you as a friend!
Zeena cries hysterically and hugs Emily.
Emily: Anyway, [pushes Zeena away and both sit down] let’s think of a plan.
Zeena: Right. [wipes her tears away and sniffles] A plan.
Emily: We’re going to have to pretend that Cindy’s not dead.
Zeena: How? We won’t be able to hide it for long. WE’ll give it away somehow
Emily: Uggh, you’re right. What can we do?
Both of them put their heads in their hands.
Michelle: [knocks on the door] Excuse me! Ms. Velasquez? It’s your landlord!
Emily: Ack! It’s the landlord!
Zeena: Hurry! Let’s prop her up!
Emily and Zeena try to lift Cindy off of the floor and into the chair.
Michelle: Ms. Velasquez?
Emily: We’re coming!
Zeena: Just a second!
Michelle: I’m coming in!
Michelle steps onto the stage and sees Zeena waltzing with Cindy’s body.
Emily/Zeena: Uhh…One, two, three. One, two, three.
Michelle: Ms. Velasquez?
Emily: Yes?
Michelle: I was hoping that you’d be paying your rent today.
Emily: Uh, right. I’ll pay it soon.
Michelle: What are you doing anyway?
Zeena: Uh, there’s going to be a dance tonight and we’re practicing dancing.
Michelle: I see… Anyway, remember to pay the rent on time.
Emily: I will!
Michelle leaves the stage and Emily and Zeena give out a relieved sigh. They then put Cindy’s arms around each of their shoulders.
Michelle: [going back onto the stage] Oh, and one more thing!
Emily and Zeena flit around, panicking for a second. Then Emily grabs both of Cindy’s hands so they are face to back. Michelle steps back onto the stage.
Emily: [yelling then singing] Ahh-and if I know you, I’ll know what you do -
Michelle: Now what are you doing?
Zeena: Uh, about that…
Emily: It’s a new type of party. A Disney waltz competition. Really popular nowadays.
Michelle: I see… Well, try not to be too loud.
Emily: Sorry.
Michelle: [walking off the stage] Nice vibrato by the way.
Emily and Zeena give out another sigh of relief once Michelle is off the stage.
Zeena: Oh! What if, instead of making her sit up, we just place her on the floor [places Cindy on the floor] and make it look like she slipped and fell?
Emily: [exasperated sigh] It’s hopeless!
Zeena: Huh? Wait! I don’t want to go to jail!
Emily: I’m the one who would go to jail!
Zeena: What?
Emily: [having a break down] Before you arrived, Cindy and I had an argument. She hit her head on the table and she died!
Zeena: Huh?!
Emily: I’m the one who killed Cindy!
Emily is half screaming/half crying as she runs back, behind the stage.
Zeena: So that’s it huh?! So then just now… Hey!
Emily comes back half screaming/half crying with a knife in her hand.
Zeena: Hey! You idiot! Stop! Drop that knife!
Emily: Don’t come any closer!
Emily is screaming. As she soon as she stabs herself she’s silent. Emily drops to her knees and then onto the floor.
Zeena: EMILY!!!
Zeena cries hysterically over Emily’s body as Cindy, who’s been on the floor all this time, wakes up.
Cindy: [yawns and stretches]
Zeena: [stare at Cindy wide-eyed] Huh?!
Cindy: What?
Emily is crouched down near the table while Cindy is lying over two chairs.
Emily: [inner monologue] Because of some stupid little argument, I accidentally killed my friend, Cindy. Her head suddenly hit the table and she… died…
Emily: [out loud] Oh, what am I going to do?!
Zeena: [knocks on the door] Hey Emily! It’s Zeena! Open up!
Emily: Uh, just a sec!
Emily picks up Cindy and attempts to make her sit up right. Zeena walks right in as soon as Cindy is sitting up.
Zeena: Oh, Cindy’s already here?
Emily: Yeah. She’s asleep.
Zeena: Asleep? [walks past Cindy and gives her a light slap] Why are you sleeping?
Cindy slumps over and Emily quickly runs to pull her back up.
Zeena: So have you eaten yet?
Emily: Eaten? Yeah.
Zeena sits next to Cindy.
Zeena: So Cindy, let’s go get something to eat.
Emily: No. Cindy shouldn’t eat.
Zeena: Why?
Emily: She doesn’t like to eat.
Zeena: What? Everyone needs to eat.
Emily: Uh, she just ate.
Zeena: Well, I’m still thirsty. Do you have anything to drink?
Emily: To drink? No.
Zeena: Well, can you go out and get me a Snapple?
Emily: … If you want it, you go get it.
Zeena: I don’t want to. It’s cold outside! You go!
Emily: No, you go!
Zeena: Just go!
Emily: No, you go!
Zeena: Cindy, [shakes Cindy’s knee] would you mind going out for us?
Emily: On a second thought, I’ll go get it.
Zeena: Huh? What made you change your mind so quickly?
Emily: Uh, well… For me, going out to buy drinks is a chance for personal glory!
Zeena: What? That’s just sad…
Emily: I’ll be back.
Zeena: Thanks.
Emily: Oh and by the way, because Cindy’s sleeping, don’t touch her.
Zeena: Why would I?
Emily: Okay. I’m going now. [runs off the stage]
Zeena: Well, you’ve been quiet for the entire time. Hey, Cindy. You’re not really sleeping are you? Hey Cindy! [shakes her shoulder to wake her up] Cindy! [pushes her] How the heck are you still sleeping?
Cindy falls off of her chair and on to the ground, still dead.
Zeena: Cindy? [stands up] Your head hit the ground pretty hard. Cindy? [walks over to her] Cindy? Hey! [lightly slaps her face] Cindy! Cin-! [puts her head on Cindy’s chest and gasps] Oh my God, I killed Cindy! [lightly slaps her more] Cindy! Cindy! Sit up…
Zeena pulls Cindy off of the ground and tries to make her sit in her chair.
Zeena: Cindy! Cindy!
Emily: Hey!
Zeena quickly goes back to her seat as Emily steps onto the stage.
Emily: [panting as she hands Zeena the Snapple] Here’s your Snapple. [sits down]
Zeena: Thanks.
There is an awkward silence as both of them sit and fidget. They slowly face each other.
Zeena: So… Cindy can sleep really well.
Emily: Yeah, like a rock
Zeena: Yeah.
Cindy suddenly slumps over and hits the ground face down.
Zeena: She sure can sleep well.
Emily: She can sleep very well.
Zeena/Emily: [at the same time] Umm…/About that…
Zeena: What?
Emily: Cindy…
Zeena: Yeah?
Emily: Is Cindy… dead?
Zeena: …. Uh, actually, she just talked.
Emily: [stands up] What!? She talked!?
Zeena: While you were out buying Snapple. She said something about going for a burger.
Emily: Are you serious!? She talked?! What’s this all about, Cindy!? [slaps Cindy] You nearly scared me to death! [picks Cindy up under her arms and swings her arms around] C’mon, Cindy! Say something now!
Zeena: I’m sorry! I lied about her talking!
Emily: What? [drops Cindy onto the floor] Did she talk?
Zeena: [about to break down] She didn’t.
Emily: But didn’t you say she wanted to go get a burger?
Zeena: How is that possible!? She doesn’t even like burgers!
Emily: But…
Zeena: I’m calling the police. [goes over to the table with the phone on it]
Emily: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Calm down.
Emily tries to stop Zeena from picking up the phone.
Zeena: How can I possibly stay calm!?
Emily: Wait!
Zeena: What are you waiting for?! Cindy’s dead! [exasperated sigh/deep breath]
Emily goes sit in the chair with her head in hands while Zeena walks over to Cindy who’s still on the ground.
Zeena: While you were out buying Snapple, I was joking around with her. She rolled off the chair and… [breaks down crying] I killed Cindy!
Emily has a lightbulb moment as she looks up with a sly grin.
Emily: Is that so? [trying to hold in evil laughter] That’s very unfortunate.
Zeena: How can you laugh at a time like this?!
Emily: It’s okay. You better turn yourself in.
Zeena: But what if I told them that Cindy committed suicide?
Emily: You’d only get into more trouble.
Zeena: You’re right… Once they see Cindy’s body, they’re going to figure it out anyway.
Emily: What? Really?
Zeena: [stands up and walks over to the phone] I’ll go call them now.
Emily: [stops Zeena from getting the phone] Wait. Actually… it’s better not to turn yourself in.
Zeena: Then what should I do?
Emily: Listen. [grabs Zeena by the shoulders] You’re a really good friend to me and I don’t want to see a good friend end up behind bars. I’ll help you get through this!
Zeena: [crying] You’re such a good person. I’m really lucky to have you as a friend!
Zeena cries hysterically and hugs Emily.
Emily: Anyway, [pushes Zeena away and both sit down] let’s think of a plan.
Zeena: Right. [wipes her tears away and sniffles] A plan.
Emily: We’re going to have to pretend that Cindy’s not dead.
Zeena: How? We won’t be able to hide it for long. WE’ll give it away somehow
Emily: Uggh, you’re right. What can we do?
Both of them put their heads in their hands.
Michelle: [knocks on the door] Excuse me! Ms. Velasquez? It’s your landlord!
Emily: Ack! It’s the landlord!
Zeena: Hurry! Let’s prop her up!
Emily and Zeena try to lift Cindy off of the floor and into the chair.
Michelle: Ms. Velasquez?
Emily: We’re coming!
Zeena: Just a second!
Michelle: I’m coming in!
Michelle steps onto the stage and sees Zeena waltzing with Cindy’s body.
Emily/Zeena: Uhh…One, two, three. One, two, three.
Michelle: Ms. Velasquez?
Emily: Yes?
Michelle: I was hoping that you’d be paying your rent today.
Emily: Uh, right. I’ll pay it soon.
Michelle: What are you doing anyway?
Zeena: Uh, there’s going to be a dance tonight and we’re practicing dancing.
Michelle: I see… Anyway, remember to pay the rent on time.
Emily: I will!
Michelle leaves the stage and Emily and Zeena give out a relieved sigh. They then put Cindy’s arms around each of their shoulders.
Michelle: [going back onto the stage] Oh, and one more thing!
Emily and Zeena flit around, panicking for a second. Then Emily grabs both of Cindy’s hands so they are face to back. Michelle steps back onto the stage.
Emily: [yelling then singing] Ahh-and if I know you, I’ll know what you do -
Michelle: Now what are you doing?
Zeena: Uh, about that…
Emily: It’s a new type of party. A Disney waltz competition. Really popular nowadays.
Michelle: I see… Well, try not to be too loud.
Emily: Sorry.
Michelle: [walking off the stage] Nice vibrato by the way.
Emily and Zeena give out another sigh of relief once Michelle is off the stage.
Zeena: Oh! What if, instead of making her sit up, we just place her on the floor [places Cindy on the floor] and make it look like she slipped and fell?
Emily: [exasperated sigh] It’s hopeless!
Zeena: Huh? Wait! I don’t want to go to jail!
Emily: I’m the one who would go to jail!
Zeena: What?
Emily: [having a break down] Before you arrived, Cindy and I had an argument. She hit her head on the table and she died!
Zeena: Huh?!
Emily: I’m the one who killed Cindy!
Emily is half screaming/half crying as she runs back, behind the stage.
Zeena: So that’s it huh?! So then just now… Hey!
Emily comes back half screaming/half crying with a knife in her hand.
Zeena: Hey! You idiot! Stop! Drop that knife!
Emily: Don’t come any closer!
Emily is screaming. As she soon as she stabs herself she’s silent. Emily drops to her knees and then onto the floor.
Zeena: EMILY!!!
Zeena cries hysterically over Emily’s body as Cindy, who’s been on the floor all this time, wakes up.
Cindy: [yawns and stretches]
Zeena: [stare at Cindy wide-eyed] Huh?!
Cindy: What?