(no subject)
I think I am "anorexic" without even knowing it, and I know my brother agrees.
It all started with a fairly reasonable diet and exercise regime. No more fast food, junk food, soda pop etc. I drink lots of water, eat more fruits and vegetables than I know what to do with, and was feeling great... until about two weeks ago.
I began eating less and less, I doubt my caloric intake per day exceeded that of 1000, if I even ate that much. Breakfast is null and void, except for maybe a hot herbal tea or glass of water. Lunch varies, usually anything from a yoghurt and an apple to a half sangwich featuring vegetables with salt and pepper. Dinner is where my caloric intake soars. Usually I will have about 2/3rds of my plate filled with vegetables be it a salad, grilled veggies or steamed veggies. Then I will use 1/6th the plate for a side like potatoes, rice or corn and then the other 1/6th will be the main course... be it tofu, soy, whatever.
Throughout the day I drink about 4 large nalgene bottles of water, 4000 mL or 4 litres. I exercise daily on an elliptical burning about 250 calories and do 50-75 situps and 25-50 pushups amongst other strength/weight training exercises.
I feel faint and dizzy a lot, and that makes me nervous when I am driving or doing something that requires a lot of my concentration. I don't have a fear of eating, necessarily, but I don't snack and I don't like when I hang out with my friends because they always want to go to fast-food joints at ungodly hours of the day. I don't really enjoy eating and often feel guilty if I eat certain foods. I ate a chocolate bar last night and was really upset about it. I know the caloric value of any food item in the world and count them incessantly, before anything ever passes my lips. I don't even put milk or sugar in my coffee anymore because it adds so many calories.
I feel really great because I am losing a lot of weight and nothing tastes as good as thin feels. I went shopping for pants today and was astounded when I realised I had to wear a different size. I can even pull off my jeans without having to undo the button or zipper anymore.
I feel hungry a lot, but normally don't eat when I do. I try to drink water first to fill me up and then snack on a piece of fruit if the sensation doesn't go away. I hate seeing myself in the mirror when i get out of the shower in the morning and weigh myself everyday. I don't care how much I weigh, really, it's just a guideline as to how I am progressing through my weight loss. I am more concerned about how I look and how my clothes fit.
I sleep a lot more than I used to, but I appoint this to a lot of recent stress and anxiety, along with exhaustion from depression. I'm not depressed, perse, but I am a lot less happy than I used to be. I feel really out of control because a lot of things are happening in my life which I have no control over. Although I try to tell myself that I am doing the right things and that someone will always weigh more than I do, I still feel horribly fat. I probably am blowing this out of proportion, because people tell me I look great a lot more than they used to. If I am sexy enough to be banging a 25 year old man and (soon) a 22 year old man... I guess I couldn't look that terrible.
I'm often disgusted when I look in the cabinets of my house. My dad, being a behemouth, brings in all sorts of shit... chips, cookies, cheesies, dips, horrible caloric nightmares that tempt me. It drives me crazy because sometimes I really want to eat those things (emotional eater, what?) but I know I absolutely cannot. I watch him eat them and feel really sick... because I know what it does to your body, and that is just wrong. My mom spends a lot more on groceries now because I eat up the vegetables and fruit so quickly and she's beginning to become annoyed I think.
I'm not sure what's wrong, and it doesn't feel entirely unhealthy... I feel like I am merely being conscientous of what I am eating. A few of my friends tell me otherwise and are constantly questioning why I never seem to eat, and when I do, that it's so healthy and in such small portions. I think I might talk to my doctor about this... but maybe I am just being a nutjob?
It all started with a fairly reasonable diet and exercise regime. No more fast food, junk food, soda pop etc. I drink lots of water, eat more fruits and vegetables than I know what to do with, and was feeling great... until about two weeks ago.
I began eating less and less, I doubt my caloric intake per day exceeded that of 1000, if I even ate that much. Breakfast is null and void, except for maybe a hot herbal tea or glass of water. Lunch varies, usually anything from a yoghurt and an apple to a half sangwich featuring vegetables with salt and pepper. Dinner is where my caloric intake soars. Usually I will have about 2/3rds of my plate filled with vegetables be it a salad, grilled veggies or steamed veggies. Then I will use 1/6th the plate for a side like potatoes, rice or corn and then the other 1/6th will be the main course... be it tofu, soy, whatever.
Throughout the day I drink about 4 large nalgene bottles of water, 4000 mL or 4 litres. I exercise daily on an elliptical burning about 250 calories and do 50-75 situps and 25-50 pushups amongst other strength/weight training exercises.
I feel faint and dizzy a lot, and that makes me nervous when I am driving or doing something that requires a lot of my concentration. I don't have a fear of eating, necessarily, but I don't snack and I don't like when I hang out with my friends because they always want to go to fast-food joints at ungodly hours of the day. I don't really enjoy eating and often feel guilty if I eat certain foods. I ate a chocolate bar last night and was really upset about it. I know the caloric value of any food item in the world and count them incessantly, before anything ever passes my lips. I don't even put milk or sugar in my coffee anymore because it adds so many calories.
I feel really great because I am losing a lot of weight and nothing tastes as good as thin feels. I went shopping for pants today and was astounded when I realised I had to wear a different size. I can even pull off my jeans without having to undo the button or zipper anymore.
I feel hungry a lot, but normally don't eat when I do. I try to drink water first to fill me up and then snack on a piece of fruit if the sensation doesn't go away. I hate seeing myself in the mirror when i get out of the shower in the morning and weigh myself everyday. I don't care how much I weigh, really, it's just a guideline as to how I am progressing through my weight loss. I am more concerned about how I look and how my clothes fit.
I sleep a lot more than I used to, but I appoint this to a lot of recent stress and anxiety, along with exhaustion from depression. I'm not depressed, perse, but I am a lot less happy than I used to be. I feel really out of control because a lot of things are happening in my life which I have no control over. Although I try to tell myself that I am doing the right things and that someone will always weigh more than I do, I still feel horribly fat. I probably am blowing this out of proportion, because people tell me I look great a lot more than they used to. If I am sexy enough to be banging a 25 year old man and (soon) a 22 year old man... I guess I couldn't look that terrible.
I'm often disgusted when I look in the cabinets of my house. My dad, being a behemouth, brings in all sorts of shit... chips, cookies, cheesies, dips, horrible caloric nightmares that tempt me. It drives me crazy because sometimes I really want to eat those things (emotional eater, what?) but I know I absolutely cannot. I watch him eat them and feel really sick... because I know what it does to your body, and that is just wrong. My mom spends a lot more on groceries now because I eat up the vegetables and fruit so quickly and she's beginning to become annoyed I think.
I'm not sure what's wrong, and it doesn't feel entirely unhealthy... I feel like I am merely being conscientous of what I am eating. A few of my friends tell me otherwise and are constantly questioning why I never seem to eat, and when I do, that it's so healthy and in such small portions. I think I might talk to my doctor about this... but maybe I am just being a nutjob?