(no subject)
Ok, I thought things were somewhat getting better, well, they are but my mind is still in space. I don't know why but i miss dustin like crazy. He is always on my mind no matter how much i think about Kevin. It's hurt everytime he calls because i want to know the truth about him and Deven. He says he slept with her to other ppl but then he talks to me and he tell's me it's not true. SO yeah i don;t know anymore. I don't want Dustin back...I mean maybe someday down the road when he straights up his life. But right now he has three warrents out for his arrest and I'm not getting into it or anything. His life is slowly getting together but i'm still not getting involed. I dk maybe i'm a fool for missing and still loving him, I just don't know. But i do and it's so confusing, I mean i don't want to do anything that is going to hurt Kevin, he is a great guy and he doesn't need someone like me, that can't make up their mind on what they want in life or who they want. Plus i'm ingorant.. alot lately and controlling my anger isn't getting easier.Everything seems to tick me off, specially when it comes to guys... maybe i should just go lezbian on all men. Girls are more understanding and know when to do and not to do something. Unlike horn-ball men that like to drive woman up a wall with their hard penis's all the time... GOD MEN SUCK! lol, I've tried talking to him but all i can do it just say... blah blah and more shit that has to do with blah. Or i say something like, I love six-packs or i mae fun of him because of something. He doesn't care because he think it's funny but still, i try to be serious but the jokester in me just comes out and sometimes there's no controlling it... YEah LIfe sucks and then u die fuck the world lets all get high. Which sounds really good right now but if i do it then Kevin would get pissed off because i told him that i dont do it and if he did it then i would have to ask him if we could jsut be friends, CUZ I don't date Pot-heads, been there done that. NO FUN! :::DEEP BREATH::: But yeah, i suppose that i should stop for now before my fingers go and fall out.