Jason,
man, you don't know what you've done to me, i can't sleep at night i'm thinking about you all the time and it hurts sooooo bad!! i shouldn't have fallen for you...but i mean it's too late now...i can't stop thinking about you!!! i mean it woulnd't be such a bad thing if you loved me back, and that's the hard part, you don't. i'm sorry i lied to you about smoking..but i hope you know i'm not doing that shit anymore. NONE OF IT. an i'm not saying that to convince you to go back out with me i'm just saying. and i know it's kinda silly writing this in my journal but i need to get it off my chest or i'll go crazy. ok and i'm sick of people telling me that i'm not in love. i know it's kinda crazy it's only been a little over 3 weeks but if i can't stop thinking about you, i mean like alllllll the damn time...and when i see you my heart starts POUNDING and my face gets all red...and i act really strange and like...every love song i hear i'm like "aww i wish that was me and Jason" and i sit at home and cry at night because you're not mine anymore. i mean ok i'm a little bit obsessed, but it's the first time i've ever felt anything like this in my life and i don't want it to ever fade away. and i don't give a shit about anyone's opinion about me but YOURS. i changed for myself and YOU. i know i told Brandon that i wouldn't change for you...but i mean, come on. wake up and smell the bacon, i'm in love with you, why wouldn't i change for you? i'd do anything for you. i really hope you take this as serious as i'm taking it. and i appoogize for not treating you like a boyfriend half the time..it's just that after that dream i told you about i started to wonder alot more and think alot more and thinking about stuff like that makes me depressed. *deep breath* well, there's not much more to say...except alllll this would have been better coming straight out of my mouth in person, but i take it your too busy to pay attention to me anyways..i mean, i know you have other stuff to do..i'm not that important anymore, and i know that. so yeah...untill next time i see you/talk to you it's whatever for now, i NEEEEEEEEEEED to talk to you in person!!!!! something VERY personal..i wanna seee you!! ok i'm done now...i love you..
<3
<3