House's Apartment, Jan 24th, Noon-ish

[ownerofsteve]

House had foolishly left his door unlocked and un-deadbolted. He was currently lounging in his boxers and a t-shirt, watching old episodes of MILF Island on his Tivo.

He had no idea what was coming.

[ooc: For the anticipated invader]

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[cpt_j_sparrow]

Captain Jack Sparrow stood with feet braced apart, hand on hip, glaring down at his compass before he surveyed his surroundings.

"Go that way. No, go that way. Shut up will the both of ye's. I'm going this way. Where is this way? I 'ave no idea but I bet there's rum."

He swaggered forward, eyes dark, mouth dry. Where he was didn't matter as much as finding the rum. He pocketed his compass and entered the first door on the first establishment he came to. That's a lie - he bypassed several before getting to this one. His compass was always right.

"'Allo, matey," he said to the man sitting down as he glided effortlessly in and stood with his hand poised in the air. The television quickly drew his attention, however, and he ambled on over towards it. "Strange. That."

[ownerofsteve]

House blinked a few times at the man who had just waltzed into his home.

"Are you wearing eyeliner?" was about all he could manage to ask.

[cpt_j_sparrow]

Jack spun around slowly, weaving. "I can see ye thighs, mate."

[ownerofsteve]

Great. A big gay drunk had staggered his way from some New Orleans costume party.

"Congratulations, you have eyes," House said, wincing as he stood up. "You want a prize?"

[cpt_j_sparrow]

"Rum would be an extreme pleasantness to me otherwise unpleasant day and I shall welcome that prize 'tis a prize ye be giving, savvy?" Jack moved slowly in that easy, I'm-drunk-but-not, sort of way, and started looking over surroundings surrounding him, yes. "

[ownerofsteve]

House blinked a few more times. He... had to admire how the guy just didn't seem to care about social niceties.

"Fine. Rum it is," he said, grabbing his cane and limping over to his kitchen. He pulled out the bottle of rum. "You want a glass, or are you just going to yo-ho-ho it out of the bottle?"

[cpt_j_sparrow]

Jack lifted a brow, grinned slyly. "I haven't yo-ho-ho'ed anything since Tortuga, mate. Hand o'er the bottle, ye tallish fashion strange person," Jack's eyes swept over House and he shuddered. "Strange. I know it. Who would show their thighs on purpose? I've no idea, mate. Bloody bedlam blokes, that's who. Hush. He's got rum."

Sparrow moved gracefully forward and extended his hand for the sake of politeness. And rum. "Capatain Jack Sparrow, mate. And ye are?"

[ownerofsteve]

"Doctor Gregory House," he said. "And I'm not showing them on purpose. I'm half-dressed because this is my home." He didn't so much shake Jack's hand as place the bottle into his hand.

[cpt_j_sparrow]

Jack wasn't expecting a handshake so much as he was expecting the bottle of rum. And accept it graciously he did. He popped the cap and brought the bottle up to take a nice sized healthy swallow.

Sighing, he belched, then asked, "I'll be needing a place to stay, savvy?"

[ownerofsteve]

"Oh, well, go ahead, move in," House said, joking but knowing the man would probably take him at his word. "I always needed my own rum vacuum."

[cpt_j_sparrow]

Jack gave House a look. A very dark, serious look that just wasn't serious at all. "I 'ave me a fine pistol, I do. No funny business. Now, where's me cabin? Not that I 'ave stuff to put in it. I don't. It's just me myself and I, and me, and me, and I 'ave what I 'ave and that be all mate. Ye think ye can deal well with that?"

Captain Jack Sparrow didn't wait for an answer, he plopped down on the couch and stared at the television while he drank his rum. "Tell me what this is."

[ownerofsteve]

It now dawned on House that this was probably a genuine pirate.

This concept was rather intriguing.

"It's a magic box that shows plays," House said, wandering away for a moment to go put on some pants.

[cpt_j_sparrow]

Jack was instantly intrigued. "How much will ye take for it?" He could barter it for something, for passage to the Pearl, wherever it may be. Bloody hell.

[ownerofsteve]

"It's mine!" House shouted from his bedroom. "Besides, it... can't be moved."

He limped back out. He wasn't above lying in these situations.

[cpt_j_sparrow]

"Nothing is ever just yours, mate. Everything is everyone elses for a price and there is always a price. Were it high enough ye would 'and it over before I could pull me pistol out and shoot it. Savvy?"

He chugged back his rum and glanced at House. "Ye got a peg, do ye?" He knew he didn't have a peg; he saw his legs before he changed. Polite conversation, see?

[ownerofsteve]

"No, I have a bad leg. It's not quite the conversation piece as the peg," House said. "And you keep on threatening with the gun and I'll stop being friendly."