play me
pairing: chen/sehun, mentioned established seho
rating: NC-17
length: 2.2k
genre: smut, literally just pure smut
warnings: light bondage, gagging, (light?) foodplay, a whole lot of marking, begging, you get the idea
summary: Sehun may be Junmyeon's, but that doesn't mean Jongdae can't have some fun with him.
a/n: i wrote this in like 2 days, which is insane. also this is my first exo smut fic i've posted, pls be kind
Sehun feels like he’s going to combust. It had started off with a few playful words, teasing hands squeezing his waist and hips, quick nibbles at his lips, jaw, neck, enough to make him huff and chase after his hyung’s mouth.
Fucking around with Jongdae, Sehun learns, is never good.
It’s torturous.
Jongdae pushes him down onto the bed, hovers above him, cackles at how Sehun writhes in annoyance as he runs his hands over the maknae’s body and refuses to take any of his clothes off, dip his hands beneath the fabric where Sehun’s skin is already beginning to spark with needy heat. He needs attention, needs to be smothered in affection the way the maknae is used to, but he doesn’t get it.
Jongdae takes so long, draws out his touches and kisses so much, grins devilishly because he knows Sehun gets worked up so easily, can only handle so much before he starts breaking, breath hitching between quiet pleas - exhales of “please, hyung,” and “touch me, now, now, now,” and “I hate you, I hate you so much, hyung”.
“Poor Sehunnie…you really think you’ve been good enough to deserve pleasure?” Jongdae’s tone is casual, just a slight sharp edge to it that makes Sehun’s breath catch in his throat.
And it really shouldn’t be any surprise that Sehun finds himself with his hands tied up, bound above his head, t-shirt in his mouth, teeth biting down on the fabric trying to stifle his whines as Jongdae lightly, ever so lightly, traces patterns over his broad chest, his soft, sensitive stomach that tenses up under his fingertips. Sehun squirms, legs bending, kicking out; toes curling, digging into the covers; back arching prettily, hips bucking up, chasing after a touch.
“Oh, bother, Sehunnie…” his voice is low, gravelly, smug, goes straight to Sehun’s cock. “What are we going to do with you?” Jongdae tilts his head, kittenish lips curling up at the corners. “Cover you in kisses? Or mark you up?”
A whimper escapes Sehun’s lips, comes out muffled by the fabric.
“That what you want? Want me to mark you up really good?” Jongdae asks with a raise of his eyebrow, leans down to talk low into Sehun’s ear. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Sucking your skin ‘til it goes nice and red, biting down so hard that it leaves bruises all over you, so the others know how much I ruined you, how good I wrecked you?” Jongdae hears Sehun’s attempt to cry out stuck in his throat, sees his wrists twist in their bonds, hears his unsteady breathing speed up. A smirk grows on his face. “Yeah, you’d like that.”
Jongdae takes his time with the first mark, sucking the skin of his neck softly, harder, softer, taking in all the sounds it draws from Sehun as he lightly scrapes his teeth against flesh (that’s a soft grunt), bites down hard (a loud moan - Jongdae can feel the vibrations under his lips), runs a hand up the centre of his chest (a harsh exhale through his nose).
“So responsive, Sehunnie.” Jongdae grins fondly, licks a stripe over the hickey he’s made. “Is this why you’re so loud when Junmyeon fucks you?” Sehun’s eyes widen, flicker up to Jongdae’s.
“We all hear you through the walls, y’know.” Jongdae goes back to nipping at the other side of his neck, “He must fuck you real good, huh.” Jongdae sucks a hickey into the junction between Sehun’s neck and shoulder, “give you everything you want, make his favourite maknae moan his name over and over,” sucks a couple more onto his collarbone for good measure.
Sehun is so turned on his eyes are watering, whining into the now damp fabric in his mouth, cheeks heavily flushed a deep pink at Jongdae’s words, recalling how right he is, how Junmyeon fucks him hard and deep, alternating between slow and fast until Sehun begs for him, gasps Junmyeon’s name into his shoulder as he comes undone, Junmyeon’s voice against his ear telling him how he’s such a good boy.
“But,” Jongdae’s voice snaps him somewhat back to reality, “I think I can make you moan my name louder.” Sehun gulps and he can see a glint in Jongdae’s eyes - he’s thought of something, and it makes Sehun want to groan just at the thought of inevitably being put through more teasing, because that’s what Jongdae’s ideas are always about.
“I’m gonna have some fun with you,” Jongdae says, voice laced with mischief and Sehun feels his weight lift off the bed. His pulse quickens, eyes following frantically as Jongdae turns away because oh, fuck, Jongdae can’t leave him like this, no way-
“Don’t worry, Sehunnie.” Jongdae steps back, ruffles a hand through the maknae’s hair. “I’ll be right back. You stay right where you are, you look so pretty like this.”
Given the situation it really shouldn’t make Sehun blush but it does, and he turns his head to the side, tries to hide, bury his face in the pillow. He hears Jongdae chuckle before he leaves, and Sehun tries to calm himself down, gain some kind of control over his body but he really can’t think properly when his hands are tied up, rendered useless, dick so hard he can feel it leaking through his underwear but it’s still trapped by his jeans, straining against the tight denim, and it’s so, so hot-
“Missed me?” Jongdae asks after he returns, holding something in one of his hands, and Sehun can only arch his hips up and whine, hope that Jongdae will get the message and finally touch him or at least take his damn jeans off.
“Trying to tell me something?” Jongdae tilts his head, dark eyes boring into Sehun’s. “You want me to let you speak?” He crawls into the bed, swings a leg over Sehun, straddling his hips. “Have you been good enough?” and it’s then that Jongdae rocks his hips down, dragging torturously slow over Sehun’s crotch, and a shocked, high-pitched sound rises from his throat as he throws his head back, savouring the sweet friction.
“Let’s hear you moan for me.” And then Jongdae removes the shirt from Sehun’s mouth, tosses it to the floor.
“Please touch me, hyung,” Sehun whines, “please, I need - need you to touch me,” gasps, pushing his hips up, dying to feel Jongdae’s contact.
Jongdae hushes him, kisses down his chest, his abdomen, just shy of his waistband, then holds up what he brought in earlier and Sehun can see clearly what it is now - a bottle of honey.
“I didn’t have dessert at dinner,” Jongdae explains, “so, I’m having it now.” Sehun’s eyes are trained on the bottle as Jongdae clicks open the cap, tips it, squeezing slightly, slowly pouring it over Sehun’s tummy.
His muscles tense in anticipation and it’s slightly cold on his skin but it quickly heats up, and Sehun can feel it spreading across his stomach, pooling in the small dips. Then there’s the warmth of Jongdae’s tongue on him, hotly licking the honey off his skin in long, drawn-out laps, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“So sweet,” Jongdae comments; trails his tongue around Sehun’s navel, dipping in, sucking softly. Sehun lets out a shaky sigh, wishes he could reach down, fist a hand into Jongdae’s hair, maybe coax his lips lower…
“Want a taste?” he asks, and before Sehun knows, Jongdae’s lips are on his, tongue teasing at the seam of his mouth and he parts his lips eagerly, welcoming the sugary taste of honey into his mouth, against his tongue, across his lips. And then, finally, he feels fingers fidgeting with the front of his jeans, hears the sound of the zip being pulled down, groans into Jongdae’s mouth as the latter tugs his jeans down his thighs.
Jongdae breaks the kiss with a tug of Sehun’s bottom lip between his teeth, shuffles down the bed to pull Sehun’s pants the whole way off, and the cool air on his thighs is such a relief, now if only Jongdae could take his briefs off, too, touch his dick, wreck him more.
Fortunately for Sehun, that’s what Jongdae does - fists a hand round his reddened cock whilst lapping up the remaining honey from Sehun’s stomach, sucking a few more hickeys there whilst he’s at it.
“Jongdae,” Sehun groans out when he rubs a thumb up the underside of his cock, pressing just below the head and making Sehun feel dizzy, “hyung, hyung, please, fuck- ”
“Does Sehunnie want more?” Jongdae coos, nipping at the jut of his pelvic bone, “want me to fuck you with my fingers?” a stream of yesyesyes spills from Sehun’s lips, dark hair stuck to his damp forehead as he writhes against the sheets. “Maybe if you’re good I’ll give you my cock, too,” Jongdae adds, so casually, like it doesn’t set Sehun’s nerve endings alight, vision blurry, pretty, desperate noises filling the air.
Then Jongdae takes out a different bottle - smaller, more familiar -, pops it open and coats his fingers with the liquid, grabs hold of Sehun’s thigh with his other hand and pulls it up, presses an open-mouthed kiss against the soft skin as his fingers rub over Sehun’s entrance, sucks gently as he eases the first finger in. Sehun’s bottom lip is drawn into his mouth, noises caught in his throat as he feels the sweet burn of Jongdae’s finger sinking into him, curling slightly, drawing out then back in slowly.
He carries on like this, until Sehun’s thighs and hips are littered with red-purple marks and there are three fingers working him deep, his chest rising and falling rapidly, whimpers and grunts and gasps falling from his lips along with Jongdae’s name; cut-off sobs when Jongdae drags against his prostate so fucking slowly, torturously, wonderfully.
“Hyung. Hyung, fuck me, please, I’m - fuck,” Sehun’s breath hitches as Jongdae curls his fingers just right, sending jolts up Sehun’s spine, drawing a loud, desperate cry out of him. Jongdae hums, leans down and licks over his jaw, the shell of his ear, keeps his fingertips pressed firmly against Sehun’s sweet spot and he can feel the younger’s thighs trembling against him, can see the moisture collecting at the corners of Sehun’s eyes, wonders how much more he can take.
Sehun sobs when Jongdae’s cock fills him up, touches him so deep and he’s so overwhelmed by the pleasure and pain wracking his body, swallowing him whole, constricting his chest, winding round his throat until he’s choking on air. He doesn’t remember what it’s like to be able to breathe.
Sehun’s skin burns up, Jongdae’s fingernails scraping down his chest as he pulls out and thrusts back in deep, over and over, each thrust pulling a gasp, cry, slurred shout of Jongdae’s name from his lips. Long, pale legs come up and wrap around Jongdae’s waist, shaking, squeezing, keeping him there, willing him closer.
“Does Junmyeon make you cry like this?” Jongdae quickens his pace, leaving Sehun a mess of hiccupped moans. “Does he kiss away his baby’s tears? Tell you how pretty you look with tears on your pink cheeks? So pretty, so ruined, so needy,” Jongdae accentuates by wrapping a hand around Sehun’s dick, squeezing, watching how wet Sehun is, precome dripping onto his stomach.
“Please, please hyung, I-I can’t-” Sehun whines through his tears, his breath knocked out of him with every roll of Jongdae’s hips.
“Come on, come for me, baby,” Jongdae coos, running a thumb over Sehun’s swollen bottom lip. He loves how he looks like this, cheeks, neck and chest blotched and flushed with red, eyes dark and glistening, cheeks damp with tears, erratic puffs of breath hot and damp against his thumb.
Jongdae snaps his hips forward, angled just right so it hits Sehun’s prostate every time, works his hand over Sehun’s cock faster, fucking him thoroughly until his cries increase in pitch each time, pining and writhing and shouting Jongdae’s name until he’s coming all over his stomach and Jongdae’s hand. It hits him hard, knocking the breath out of him; head thrown back, mouth open silently, unable to make any sound as the euphoria sweeps through his body.
The tightness of Sehun’s muscles tensed around his cock has Jongdae coming not soon after, filling the condom, buried deep inside Sehun with a deep groan of the maknae’s name amidst a string of curses.
He takes a moment to breathe, collect himself before he pulls out (a weak sigh exhaled from Sehun), ties the condom off, tosses it.
Sehun is on the edge of consciousness as Jongdae unties his hands, kisses his wrists, gently massages his forearms, presses soft smiles against his skin. Sehun’s eyes flutter open, and his hair is sticking out everywhere and his face is all blotchy but the tired, sated, thankful smile he gives Jongdae makes his chest feel all warm, and Jongdae can see why everyone’s so smitten with the maknae.
“You really are something else, Sehunnie. Let’s do this again sometime,” Jongdae says, smirk pulling at the corners of his lips again and it sends a shiver through Sehun’s body that’s just too much, his limbs still feel numb and tingly, warmth crawling over his skin as the in embarrassment sets in of what they’ve just done.
“Yeah,” is what he manages to get out, face redder than ever, bashful eyes refusing to look into Jongdae’s. Fingertips squeeze his wrist lightly.
“Maybe Junmyeon can join in, too.”
Sehun is so fucked.
rating: NC-17
length: 2.2k
genre: smut, literally just pure smut
warnings: light bondage, gagging, (light?) foodplay, a whole lot of marking, begging, you get the idea
summary: Sehun may be Junmyeon's, but that doesn't mean Jongdae can't have some fun with him.
a/n: i wrote this in like 2 days, which is insane. also this is my first exo smut fic i've posted, pls be kind
Sehun feels like he’s going to combust. It had started off with a few playful words, teasing hands squeezing his waist and hips, quick nibbles at his lips, jaw, neck, enough to make him huff and chase after his hyung’s mouth.
Fucking around with Jongdae, Sehun learns, is never good.
It’s torturous.
Jongdae pushes him down onto the bed, hovers above him, cackles at how Sehun writhes in annoyance as he runs his hands over the maknae’s body and refuses to take any of his clothes off, dip his hands beneath the fabric where Sehun’s skin is already beginning to spark with needy heat. He needs attention, needs to be smothered in affection the way the maknae is used to, but he doesn’t get it.
Jongdae takes so long, draws out his touches and kisses so much, grins devilishly because he knows Sehun gets worked up so easily, can only handle so much before he starts breaking, breath hitching between quiet pleas - exhales of “please, hyung,” and “touch me, now, now, now,” and “I hate you, I hate you so much, hyung”.
“Poor Sehunnie…you really think you’ve been good enough to deserve pleasure?” Jongdae’s tone is casual, just a slight sharp edge to it that makes Sehun’s breath catch in his throat.
And it really shouldn’t be any surprise that Sehun finds himself with his hands tied up, bound above his head, t-shirt in his mouth, teeth biting down on the fabric trying to stifle his whines as Jongdae lightly, ever so lightly, traces patterns over his broad chest, his soft, sensitive stomach that tenses up under his fingertips. Sehun squirms, legs bending, kicking out; toes curling, digging into the covers; back arching prettily, hips bucking up, chasing after a touch.
“Oh, bother, Sehunnie…” his voice is low, gravelly, smug, goes straight to Sehun’s cock. “What are we going to do with you?” Jongdae tilts his head, kittenish lips curling up at the corners. “Cover you in kisses? Or mark you up?”
A whimper escapes Sehun’s lips, comes out muffled by the fabric.
“That what you want? Want me to mark you up really good?” Jongdae asks with a raise of his eyebrow, leans down to talk low into Sehun’s ear. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Sucking your skin ‘til it goes nice and red, biting down so hard that it leaves bruises all over you, so the others know how much I ruined you, how good I wrecked you?” Jongdae hears Sehun’s attempt to cry out stuck in his throat, sees his wrists twist in their bonds, hears his unsteady breathing speed up. A smirk grows on his face. “Yeah, you’d like that.”
Jongdae takes his time with the first mark, sucking the skin of his neck softly, harder, softer, taking in all the sounds it draws from Sehun as he lightly scrapes his teeth against flesh (that’s a soft grunt), bites down hard (a loud moan - Jongdae can feel the vibrations under his lips), runs a hand up the centre of his chest (a harsh exhale through his nose).
“So responsive, Sehunnie.” Jongdae grins fondly, licks a stripe over the hickey he’s made. “Is this why you’re so loud when Junmyeon fucks you?” Sehun’s eyes widen, flicker up to Jongdae’s.
“We all hear you through the walls, y’know.” Jongdae goes back to nipping at the other side of his neck, “He must fuck you real good, huh.” Jongdae sucks a hickey into the junction between Sehun’s neck and shoulder, “give you everything you want, make his favourite maknae moan his name over and over,” sucks a couple more onto his collarbone for good measure.
Sehun is so turned on his eyes are watering, whining into the now damp fabric in his mouth, cheeks heavily flushed a deep pink at Jongdae’s words, recalling how right he is, how Junmyeon fucks him hard and deep, alternating between slow and fast until Sehun begs for him, gasps Junmyeon’s name into his shoulder as he comes undone, Junmyeon’s voice against his ear telling him how he’s such a good boy.
“But,” Jongdae’s voice snaps him somewhat back to reality, “I think I can make you moan my name louder.” Sehun gulps and he can see a glint in Jongdae’s eyes - he’s thought of something, and it makes Sehun want to groan just at the thought of inevitably being put through more teasing, because that’s what Jongdae’s ideas are always about.
“I’m gonna have some fun with you,” Jongdae says, voice laced with mischief and Sehun feels his weight lift off the bed. His pulse quickens, eyes following frantically as Jongdae turns away because oh, fuck, Jongdae can’t leave him like this, no way-
“Don’t worry, Sehunnie.” Jongdae steps back, ruffles a hand through the maknae’s hair. “I’ll be right back. You stay right where you are, you look so pretty like this.”
Given the situation it really shouldn’t make Sehun blush but it does, and he turns his head to the side, tries to hide, bury his face in the pillow. He hears Jongdae chuckle before he leaves, and Sehun tries to calm himself down, gain some kind of control over his body but he really can’t think properly when his hands are tied up, rendered useless, dick so hard he can feel it leaking through his underwear but it’s still trapped by his jeans, straining against the tight denim, and it’s so, so hot-
“Missed me?” Jongdae asks after he returns, holding something in one of his hands, and Sehun can only arch his hips up and whine, hope that Jongdae will get the message and finally touch him or at least take his damn jeans off.
“Trying to tell me something?” Jongdae tilts his head, dark eyes boring into Sehun’s. “You want me to let you speak?” He crawls into the bed, swings a leg over Sehun, straddling his hips. “Have you been good enough?” and it’s then that Jongdae rocks his hips down, dragging torturously slow over Sehun’s crotch, and a shocked, high-pitched sound rises from his throat as he throws his head back, savouring the sweet friction.
“Let’s hear you moan for me.” And then Jongdae removes the shirt from Sehun’s mouth, tosses it to the floor.
“Please touch me, hyung,” Sehun whines, “please, I need - need you to touch me,” gasps, pushing his hips up, dying to feel Jongdae’s contact.
Jongdae hushes him, kisses down his chest, his abdomen, just shy of his waistband, then holds up what he brought in earlier and Sehun can see clearly what it is now - a bottle of honey.
“I didn’t have dessert at dinner,” Jongdae explains, “so, I’m having it now.” Sehun’s eyes are trained on the bottle as Jongdae clicks open the cap, tips it, squeezing slightly, slowly pouring it over Sehun’s tummy.
His muscles tense in anticipation and it’s slightly cold on his skin but it quickly heats up, and Sehun can feel it spreading across his stomach, pooling in the small dips. Then there’s the warmth of Jongdae’s tongue on him, hotly licking the honey off his skin in long, drawn-out laps, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“So sweet,” Jongdae comments; trails his tongue around Sehun’s navel, dipping in, sucking softly. Sehun lets out a shaky sigh, wishes he could reach down, fist a hand into Jongdae’s hair, maybe coax his lips lower…
“Want a taste?” he asks, and before Sehun knows, Jongdae’s lips are on his, tongue teasing at the seam of his mouth and he parts his lips eagerly, welcoming the sugary taste of honey into his mouth, against his tongue, across his lips. And then, finally, he feels fingers fidgeting with the front of his jeans, hears the sound of the zip being pulled down, groans into Jongdae’s mouth as the latter tugs his jeans down his thighs.
Jongdae breaks the kiss with a tug of Sehun’s bottom lip between his teeth, shuffles down the bed to pull Sehun’s pants the whole way off, and the cool air on his thighs is such a relief, now if only Jongdae could take his briefs off, too, touch his dick, wreck him more.
Fortunately for Sehun, that’s what Jongdae does - fists a hand round his reddened cock whilst lapping up the remaining honey from Sehun’s stomach, sucking a few more hickeys there whilst he’s at it.
“Jongdae,” Sehun groans out when he rubs a thumb up the underside of his cock, pressing just below the head and making Sehun feel dizzy, “hyung, hyung, please, fuck- ”
“Does Sehunnie want more?” Jongdae coos, nipping at the jut of his pelvic bone, “want me to fuck you with my fingers?” a stream of yesyesyes spills from Sehun’s lips, dark hair stuck to his damp forehead as he writhes against the sheets. “Maybe if you’re good I’ll give you my cock, too,” Jongdae adds, so casually, like it doesn’t set Sehun’s nerve endings alight, vision blurry, pretty, desperate noises filling the air.
Then Jongdae takes out a different bottle - smaller, more familiar -, pops it open and coats his fingers with the liquid, grabs hold of Sehun’s thigh with his other hand and pulls it up, presses an open-mouthed kiss against the soft skin as his fingers rub over Sehun’s entrance, sucks gently as he eases the first finger in. Sehun’s bottom lip is drawn into his mouth, noises caught in his throat as he feels the sweet burn of Jongdae’s finger sinking into him, curling slightly, drawing out then back in slowly.
He carries on like this, until Sehun’s thighs and hips are littered with red-purple marks and there are three fingers working him deep, his chest rising and falling rapidly, whimpers and grunts and gasps falling from his lips along with Jongdae’s name; cut-off sobs when Jongdae drags against his prostate so fucking slowly, torturously, wonderfully.
“Hyung. Hyung, fuck me, please, I’m - fuck,” Sehun’s breath hitches as Jongdae curls his fingers just right, sending jolts up Sehun’s spine, drawing a loud, desperate cry out of him. Jongdae hums, leans down and licks over his jaw, the shell of his ear, keeps his fingertips pressed firmly against Sehun’s sweet spot and he can feel the younger’s thighs trembling against him, can see the moisture collecting at the corners of Sehun’s eyes, wonders how much more he can take.
Sehun sobs when Jongdae’s cock fills him up, touches him so deep and he’s so overwhelmed by the pleasure and pain wracking his body, swallowing him whole, constricting his chest, winding round his throat until he’s choking on air. He doesn’t remember what it’s like to be able to breathe.
Sehun’s skin burns up, Jongdae’s fingernails scraping down his chest as he pulls out and thrusts back in deep, over and over, each thrust pulling a gasp, cry, slurred shout of Jongdae’s name from his lips. Long, pale legs come up and wrap around Jongdae’s waist, shaking, squeezing, keeping him there, willing him closer.
“Does Junmyeon make you cry like this?” Jongdae quickens his pace, leaving Sehun a mess of hiccupped moans. “Does he kiss away his baby’s tears? Tell you how pretty you look with tears on your pink cheeks? So pretty, so ruined, so needy,” Jongdae accentuates by wrapping a hand around Sehun’s dick, squeezing, watching how wet Sehun is, precome dripping onto his stomach.
“Please, please hyung, I-I can’t-” Sehun whines through his tears, his breath knocked out of him with every roll of Jongdae’s hips.
“Come on, come for me, baby,” Jongdae coos, running a thumb over Sehun’s swollen bottom lip. He loves how he looks like this, cheeks, neck and chest blotched and flushed with red, eyes dark and glistening, cheeks damp with tears, erratic puffs of breath hot and damp against his thumb.
Jongdae snaps his hips forward, angled just right so it hits Sehun’s prostate every time, works his hand over Sehun’s cock faster, fucking him thoroughly until his cries increase in pitch each time, pining and writhing and shouting Jongdae’s name until he’s coming all over his stomach and Jongdae’s hand. It hits him hard, knocking the breath out of him; head thrown back, mouth open silently, unable to make any sound as the euphoria sweeps through his body.
The tightness of Sehun’s muscles tensed around his cock has Jongdae coming not soon after, filling the condom, buried deep inside Sehun with a deep groan of the maknae’s name amidst a string of curses.
He takes a moment to breathe, collect himself before he pulls out (a weak sigh exhaled from Sehun), ties the condom off, tosses it.
Sehun is on the edge of consciousness as Jongdae unties his hands, kisses his wrists, gently massages his forearms, presses soft smiles against his skin. Sehun’s eyes flutter open, and his hair is sticking out everywhere and his face is all blotchy but the tired, sated, thankful smile he gives Jongdae makes his chest feel all warm, and Jongdae can see why everyone’s so smitten with the maknae.
“You really are something else, Sehunnie. Let’s do this again sometime,” Jongdae says, smirk pulling at the corners of his lips again and it sends a shiver through Sehun’s body that’s just too much, his limbs still feel numb and tingly, warmth crawling over his skin as the in embarrassment sets in of what they’ve just done.
“Yeah,” is what he manages to get out, face redder than ever, bashful eyes refusing to look into Jongdae’s. Fingertips squeeze his wrist lightly.
“Maybe Junmyeon can join in, too.”
Sehun is so fucked.