ormery
in
owlpellets
here is sum fic
blablablabla substandard Kabutofic I wrote to keep myself occupied on the train back from London.
Captivity
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Kabuto, lesserly Orochimaru
Pairings: None
Warnings: none
Length: ~700
Freedom is disorienting. Kabuto knows this. He's seen prisoners unchained who've forgotten how to stand, pet animals who don't know how to deal with the wild.
He has never been free, for all he observes from outside the restraints of normal people. He always knew that, too, except he never thought about it, because the jutsu Sasori used to keep him obedient prevented it. There were certain boundaries Kabuto's mind couldn't cross; to think about disobeying Sasori, or think about why he couldn't disobey Sasori - or to think about why he couldn't think about disobeying Sasori - was impossible for him.
Except that Orochimaru noticed. Orochimaru at long last sensed something was afoot and probed Kabuto's mind and tore down the mental walls that had stood in place for years.
Kabuto passed out, and when he woke he had trouble standing for a little while.
Konoha thinks he's away on a mission, not recuperating in the hidden lair of a traitor who was once one of their strongest shinobi.
Kabuto doesn't think of himself as a traitor. He passes on Konoha's secrets to Orochimaru, but he was planted in Konoha to do as much; he passes on Orochimaru's secrets to Sasori, but he was given to Orochimaru for just that purpose. He's never betrayed anyone he was originally loyal to.
Except he's not so sure now. Now that he's adjusting to the freedom of thought that's been denied him for as long as he can remember, it's being allowed to dawn on him that he was never loyal to Sasori to begin with, only captive: he's not a pet animal freed of its collar; he's a wild one let out of its cage. He knows that Orochimaru will, as soon as he judges him recovered, question him about Sasori's motives, and it's a curious thing, but he's beginning to realise that he feels no obligation whatsoever to hide them. Initially, when the thought arose that an interrogation was around the corner, Kabuto assumed he'd lie, but the realisation has been edging towards him for the last hour or so that he doesn't have to.
He thinks, though, that maybe he will. He doesn't normally lie to Orochimaru; Sasori's always told him not to simply because if he were discovered to be lying, Orochimaru would be suspicious of him. Kabuto never had any choice but to obey, but he'd always thought that it would be interesting to see whether or not he could pull the wool over the slitted eyes of the man who taught him most of his deception.
He thinks, then, that if these were Orochimaru's orders he was thinking of going against, he'd be working out a rationalisation of the disobedience. Sasori wouldn't want him telling the truth to Orochimaru now, so it'd be alright to disobey him, he'd think. He works out ways of creatively interpreting Orochimaru's orders all the time, even if he doesn't always go through with them - but he could never think about Sasori's. They were just there, and he would carry them out. There was no alternative. And now he has the choice, he's not trying to excuse himself to Sasori in his head as he would with Orochimaru.
In fact, he's wondering if Orochimaru would be proud of him if he succeeded.
He thinks about that thought for a second.
Then he thinks about the fact that he's not sure how well Orochimaru knew Sasori, and that consequently he has no idea how much he could fabricate without Orochimaru detecting the lie.
Although he has every freedom to, he doesn't think about the fact that that doesn't prevent him from fabricating something that could probably pass by Orochimaru.
He doesn't think about the way he feels the need for Orochimaru's approval, not for any more than a moment or two.
And when Orochimaru does return and ask him gentle, probing questions, even though he can taste the manipulation in the persuasive, serpentine words, he doesn't think about the fact that Orochimaru has probably spent years carefully instilling in him this urge to please, tugging his thoughts into place as deftly as Sasori controlled his puppets.
Kabuto does as Sasori ordered him to, and tells Orochimaru the truth.
Captivity
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Kabuto, lesserly Orochimaru
Pairings: None
Warnings: none
Length: ~700
Freedom is disorienting. Kabuto knows this. He's seen prisoners unchained who've forgotten how to stand, pet animals who don't know how to deal with the wild.
He has never been free, for all he observes from outside the restraints of normal people. He always knew that, too, except he never thought about it, because the jutsu Sasori used to keep him obedient prevented it. There were certain boundaries Kabuto's mind couldn't cross; to think about disobeying Sasori, or think about why he couldn't disobey Sasori - or to think about why he couldn't think about disobeying Sasori - was impossible for him.
Except that Orochimaru noticed. Orochimaru at long last sensed something was afoot and probed Kabuto's mind and tore down the mental walls that had stood in place for years.
Kabuto passed out, and when he woke he had trouble standing for a little while.
Konoha thinks he's away on a mission, not recuperating in the hidden lair of a traitor who was once one of their strongest shinobi.
Kabuto doesn't think of himself as a traitor. He passes on Konoha's secrets to Orochimaru, but he was planted in Konoha to do as much; he passes on Orochimaru's secrets to Sasori, but he was given to Orochimaru for just that purpose. He's never betrayed anyone he was originally loyal to.
Except he's not so sure now. Now that he's adjusting to the freedom of thought that's been denied him for as long as he can remember, it's being allowed to dawn on him that he was never loyal to Sasori to begin with, only captive: he's not a pet animal freed of its collar; he's a wild one let out of its cage. He knows that Orochimaru will, as soon as he judges him recovered, question him about Sasori's motives, and it's a curious thing, but he's beginning to realise that he feels no obligation whatsoever to hide them. Initially, when the thought arose that an interrogation was around the corner, Kabuto assumed he'd lie, but the realisation has been edging towards him for the last hour or so that he doesn't have to.
He thinks, though, that maybe he will. He doesn't normally lie to Orochimaru; Sasori's always told him not to simply because if he were discovered to be lying, Orochimaru would be suspicious of him. Kabuto never had any choice but to obey, but he'd always thought that it would be interesting to see whether or not he could pull the wool over the slitted eyes of the man who taught him most of his deception.
He thinks, then, that if these were Orochimaru's orders he was thinking of going against, he'd be working out a rationalisation of the disobedience. Sasori wouldn't want him telling the truth to Orochimaru now, so it'd be alright to disobey him, he'd think. He works out ways of creatively interpreting Orochimaru's orders all the time, even if he doesn't always go through with them - but he could never think about Sasori's. They were just there, and he would carry them out. There was no alternative. And now he has the choice, he's not trying to excuse himself to Sasori in his head as he would with Orochimaru.
In fact, he's wondering if Orochimaru would be proud of him if he succeeded.
He thinks about that thought for a second.
Then he thinks about the fact that he's not sure how well Orochimaru knew Sasori, and that consequently he has no idea how much he could fabricate without Orochimaru detecting the lie.
Although he has every freedom to, he doesn't think about the fact that that doesn't prevent him from fabricating something that could probably pass by Orochimaru.
He doesn't think about the way he feels the need for Orochimaru's approval, not for any more than a moment or two.
And when Orochimaru does return and ask him gentle, probing questions, even though he can taste the manipulation in the persuasive, serpentine words, he doesn't think about the fact that Orochimaru has probably spent years carefully instilling in him this urge to please, tugging his thoughts into place as deftly as Sasori controlled his puppets.
Kabuto does as Sasori ordered him to, and tells Orochimaru the truth.