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Alright troops, this is it. I’ve had an amazing time writing these stories. To those who read, enjoyed, and commented: please never stop letting writers know how you feel about the stories you read, I guarantee you that it keeps those stories going. Your words matter.
All 82 stories have been edited (and improved!), and will welcome you whole-heartedly if you revisit them as often as you’d like.
Thank you for coming along this adventure with me,
Owl-Wishes
You come out of the office building, and it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the sun. Shielding the glass on the delicate watch on your wrist from reflection, you check the time as the last of the cool air from inside rolls off your shoulders. You fix the strap of your bag, and take your time rounding the building to the small parking lot in the back. You smile to yourself when you see Ben leaning against his car.
You’ve told him on more than one occasion that you don’t need him to come pick you up, that you’re a big girl, and that this errand is completely out of his way no matter how he spins the map.
He still shows up here each time, blatantly ignoring you, and you love him for it.
His lips twitch up in a funny kind of smile when he notices you, clearly proud of himself as he folds his arms over his chest, and so you nod, accepting defeat as you slowly cross the parking lot.
“So do you feel counseled?” he asks once you’re close, and your smile turns wry. There’s always just the right amount of humor in his voice to keep you from ever taking his slight uneasiness at the whole situation as offensive. Still, for such a question, your best response is to ignore him. It works wonders as you near the passenger-side door. “Did you talk about me?” he asks curiously as he lifts off the door and even opens it for you. Your eyes meet his for a moment, and you see it, that childlike spark. He asks you this every time.
“I told her that you’re annoying,” you answer evenly, gripping the straps of your canvas bag closer to your body as you fold yourself into the seat.
He scoffs loudly into the open air, and shuts your door before making a show of parading his emotions around the hood of the car. He drops gracelessly into the driver’s seat beside you, and grumbles to himself as he shoves the keys into the ignition. “But it went okay? Like, as okay as it can go?” he asks you in a softer voice, and his hand curls and hovers over the gear-shift, unmoving until you confirm this for him.
You smooth out the fabric of your skirt before you answer. “Yeah, it went okay,” you reply honestly, and you like that he checks in with you, because all teasing aside, it helps keep your feet on the ground as your heart and your head try to work themselves out.
Ben shifts the car into reverse, and you look back at the building you came out of, before settling into your seat.
The car ride is quiet. You watch the landscape pass by your window as you slowly make the change between one place and another. You close your eyes as the sun comes out from behind the clouds again and warms your face. Whenever you leave these sessions, sadness rises to the surface of your being. It’s thick and heavy, and somehow Ben knows to be quiet for a little while as you ease it down again in order to face the world. You’re glad that he’s here. His presence helps.
Your lips quirk up when Ben starts humming along to the radio playing quietly throughout the car.
He still can’t stay on-key to save his life.
Your eyes open again when Ben presses a little too quickly on the brakes.
“Watch it asshole, there are children out,” he grumbles at the driver speeding down the road who just nearly merged their two cars, and you turn to look at Ben as he drives on. “What,” he asks you flatly after a few moments.
You don’t reply, but your lips curl up in a halfway smile, and you see him start to blush. You rest your hand on his for a quick moment, giving it a squeeze.
“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters before you can suggest that he’s a good person, or something equally insane like that. “I’m still upset with you,” he reminds you.
You know that he’s trying to let it go. You know that he can’t.
“Annoying,” he finally scoffs under his breath as he signals and turns left.
You smile and settle back in your seat, catching a few seconds of the basketball game taking place on one of the courts you pass. You see Ben check the time and tap his fingers against the steering wheel, and your heart begins to race, because you’re getting close.
Ben hands you the paper bag as he settles into the driver’s seat again and starts the car. You’re not hungry, but the scent rising from the containers inside is still tantalizing, and you can’t help but notice that he totally stole a few bites on his walk back to the car from the restaurant. You don’t blame him.
You can barely wait for him to park when you finally arrive. You see her sitting in the little-kid sandbox (of course she is), and your heart drums wildly in your chest, making you feel short of breath, and a smile stretches across your face. You click the seat belt off and step out of the car, and you and Ben make some mild attempt to walk like normal people, when all you both feel like doing is racing each other to see which one reaches them first.
Emma rests back on her hands as Claudia dances around her with her arms above her head like a ballerina, before skipping off with her friends in the direction of the big-kid swing set. You watch as she calls for the little girl to be careful, and your heart feels full. You see her clean some sand from her pant legs and wave to Claudia as she rounds the bigger slide. She runs a hand through her hair to get it off of her face, and that’s when she finally spots you.
Your gaze locks with hers with about half of the distance left to cross, and the muscles in your legs tingle, wanting to work faster to get you there.
“Emmaaaa,” Ben whines petulantly as you near that beautiful, happy girl of yours. She smiles at the both of you, and your heart kicks happily against your ribs. “Jenny said that I’m annoooyiiing.”
Emma’s smiling only at you now, and even from meters away, you can see that devilish sparkle in her eyes, and your knees feel a little unsteady. When you’re finally close enough, she takes hold of your hand and hauls you through those last few centimeters. She cups your face, kisses your lips, and you forget that the rest of the world exists.
The sound that pulls you apart is Ben, scoffing indignantly in the air, and when you look at him, he looks thoroughly scandalized. “Wha…?!” he manages to say in a rough puff of air, and your lips still tingle from her kisses, so you run your tongue over them. “Why are you rewarding bad behavior?!” he demands to know, and Emma chuckles adorably to herself. She shakes her head and leans over, pressing a kiss to his cheek too, so he won’t feel left out. He makes a show of smearing it away as the tips of your fingers ghost over her side, because now that she’s here, all you really want to do is be with her. “Hey! I don’t want your pity kisses!” he says, and you can tell that he’s having a hard time holding onto this feigned anger of his.
Claudia’s spotted you from over by the big-kid swings, and has abandoned her friends to sprint in your direction, so you tug on Emma’s sleeve in a needy motion as you let your voice fall to a quiet whine. “I want your pity kisses,” you murmur through pouty lips, and she giggles sweetly before planting kisses on your face, starting with the bridge of your nose.
You almost feel bashful beneath her kisses. She’s pressing them into your cheek now, waiting for you to smile so that she can press one into your dimple. She hums in satisfaction when you do, and the sound is for your ears only, which makes your insides tingle.
“Hi,” you say to her, because it dawns on you that you haven’t even greeted each other properly yet.
“Hi,” she replies just as quietly before meeting your lips, and you know that Ben would insert-disapproving-comment-here if he wasn’t busy anticipating Claudia’s crash into his arms at any moment.
“Get a room,” he still manages to playfully sneer in your direction as he scoops her up.
“Ben,” Claudia pulls back after taking in how high off the ground she is, “they’re having kissy-time,” she explains slowly. “And Mama says that kissy-time is very important.”
Emma’s arm has wrapped around your waist, and your body tingles with delight as you hear her agree with her small cousin. Claudia wriggles out of Ben’s hold after a moment, and as soon as her rainbow sandals touch the ground, she pulls on his hand, dragging him over to where you and Emma are standing, and tugs on your hand too.
“Okay, enough kissy-time,” she commands, and you know that if she had a free hand, it would be on her hip. “Let’s go to the swings,” she pleads, and you’re well aware of the fact that you can’t say no to her. So you break away after far too little time with Emma, and follow her to the big-kid playground.
Emma stays close to you after appointments. Claudia lets the two of you sit right at the edge of the swings, only after you promise her profusely that you’re watching as she calls for Ben to swing her higher and higher. You notice how he slows the swing down a little every minute or so without her noticing. You know he’ll guard that child with his life.
You watch Claudia as her whole being beams with happiness, and then Emma’s shoulder nudges your own. She’s checking if you’re alright, so you kiss her sloppily as she cups your cheek. It’s as much of an answer as you can manage to give before a certain little girl dances up to you and announces that it’s lunch time.
Emma sits next to you at the picnic table beneath the large, shady tree. Claudia’s entertaining all of you with a detailed explanation of how she’s going to travel to all of the planets in the solar system one day, describing everything she hopes to see. You look down when Emma rests a hand subtly on your leg and strokes it, warming the skin, checking in with you.
You place your hand over hers, lace your fingers together, and look back across the table, because Claudia’s paused her story, and she and Ben are looking at you all knowingly.
You blush, though you’re not sure why, but Emma squeezes your hand and kisses your clothed shoulder through a smile. Ben checks his watch again and sighs contentedly. “We gotta get going,” he says, and Claudia scrambles onto his lap, stating that she’s far too tired to walk any further, and he’ll have to carry her, like a true damsel in distress.
You and Emma walk behind them, swinging your clasped hands between you, and Claudia turns her head around every few moments to make sure that you’re coming as Ben carries her to the car.
There’s a list waiting for all of you when you get to the Müller home. Emma’s parents won’t be back until an hour or so before the party begins, so it’s up to you to get things ready. Emma divides up the tasks, and you’re separated again, as Claudia chooses you to be the one to put her down for her nap. Emma sends her upstairs with a kiss on the cheek, and you wait patiently for your turn before following Claudia out of the room. A little hand slips into yours as you make the way up the stairs, looking back only once to see Emma disappear into the kitchen.
You sing Mr. Bear four different songs of Claudia’s choosing to help him fall asleep, but as you finish the last one, Claudia pouts, and informs you that he still can’t fall asleep. You bite your tongue to keep from offering to score that stuffed bear a sleeping pill, because you know that Claudia’s tired enough to fall fast asleep, she’s been yawning since you left the park. This…this is just her adamant attempt to keep you from leaving her alone.
Not that she’s scared of that.
She’s ensured you of that.
You lean heavily against the bed from where you’re sitting on the floor, because you’re a little bit ready for a nap too, and your head is filling up with the many things that could happen if you’d go back downstairs and pull Emma into a dark corner. But you don’t, because Claudia’s looking at you all pouty and expectant, so you sing another lullaby from your finely-tuned repertoire of her favorites while brushing the backs of your fingers along her cheek as her eyelids grow heavy.
She finally falls asleep with both of her little hands holding onto yours, so you stay sitting on the floor beside Emma’s bed, afraid that she’ll wake from the movement. You look at her hands wrapped around yours, and a soft smile flickers onto your face. It is now nine days since this wonderful little girl became a big sister, and even with your and Emma’s constant reassurance, she’s still worried that you’ll pick her new little brother over her. She’s holding onto you so she won’t lose you, and as she sleeps before you now, you promise her that she never will.
The memory of that night just over a week ago makes your chest feel warm from the inside out. You’d awoken from your hazy sleep at the sound of a distant phone ringing, and had quickly reached over to make sure that Emma was safely asleep beside you. Once you knew that she was, you’d felt instantly calmer. You lay there listening to the quiet shuffling of slippers on tiled floor, as Emma’s parents’ bedroom door opened and closed a few times.
By then you’d had your suspicions.
You’d slowly untangled yourself from Emma’s embrace, and pulled a sweater over your tank top before quietly leaving the room. Emma’s parents were sitting sleepily on the couch downstairs, and you’d smiled your hello as you took a seat on the stairs. They both returned the silent greeting, it being far too early for words yet.
When you heard a car come to a stop outside the house on the otherwise quiet residential street, your heart had leapt in your chest from excitement. Emma’s parents went outside, and you’d lingered at the front door. You’d watched Alexei pick up a tired-looking Claudia and carry her inside, while Emma’s mother guided Anthony in after them.
“Mama’s going to the hospital to have the baby,” Claudia had explained sleepily when Alexei set her and Mr. Bear down on the couch.
“That’s right, my dear,” Emma’s mother had cooed. “And we’ll get to see them both tomorrow,” she added as she motioned for Alexei to take Anthony upstairs to Tim’s room.
“I want to sleep in Emma’s room,” Claudia had murmured as the older woman pulled blankets and a pillow out of the hall closet. “Please,” she’d added sadly, and you’d seen Emma’s mother’s heart melt just as yours was.
“Come on honeybee, I’ll take you,” you’d offered, holding your hand out after you’d seen the hesitancy on the older woman’s face.
“Alexei will bring the small mattress for her,” she’d told you, as you both remembered the actual size of Emma’s bed. You’d nodded as Claudia took your hand and followed you carefully up the stairs. When you’d reached Emma’s room, the mattress was already on the floor, and you liked that Emma’s parents knew to anticipate each other’s thoughts. It was a closeness that came with time.
Emma was curled with her back to the door, clearly trying to hold onto sleep as best she could. So you’d helped Claudia and her bear onto the bed beside Emma, because you knew that there was no chance that she’d agree to sleep alone on the mattress on the floor, and watched her instantly snuggle next to Emma.
“Claude?” you remember Emma asking in that hoarse, sleep-heavy voice you love. “Jenny, don’t you dare,” she’d added in nearly the same breath, just as you’d lifted the blanket on the mattress to get situated. “Get your cute butt over here,” she’d demanded with her back still turned to you, so you’d dropped the blanket and shuffled over to her. “Get into bed,” she’d ordered, so you did, climbing over her and Claudia to press yourself against the wall.
Claudia had looked absolutely delighted with the situation, sandwiched between you two. As she fell fast asleep, taking up most of the bed, Emma had reached over and stroked your cheek. That was perhaps your favorite part of the night, those long few minutes around four in the morning, when Emma had looked at you like you were everything that mattered as Claudia slept between you, holding your hand.
You very carefully slip your hand from Claudia’s hold now, watching her intently the entire time to ensure she’s still asleep, and as you stand back up, you realize that your left leg has fallen asleep. You hobble out of Emma’s room and pull the door mostly shut behind you, and as you begin to make your way downstairs, the first thing that catches your eye is rather upsetting.
“Oh no,” you breathe, mostly to yourself, as you take in the scene. “Pelvic thrusts?” you say as you reach the bottom of the stairs. “This can’t be good.”
Tim’s burying his head in one of his hands as Ben throws down the controller to better delve into his victory dance. He spins in a tight circle and shoots one arm out in your direction, and his strange dance makes you stay a good two meters away from him, just in case whatever he’s got is somehow contagious.
“I fouuuuuuund it,” he sings to you, “uh, huh.” His hips go left while his hands go up, and you’re truly a little scared for your life as he takes a step in your direction. “That’s right, who found it? I found it. Before Tim found it, I did.”
“Are you going to sing everything you say?” you wonder as he attempts to moonwalk across the living room.
“Ye-e-e-es!” he informs you, bellowing the word as his hands turn to fists to accentuate the emotion behind it. “I aaaaam, because I-I-I-I-I found it, that’s right, that’s right.”
“Tim, are you doing okay?” you ask carefully as you side-step toward the kitchen to escape this insanity.
“I guess,” he replies flatly, “I mean, I found the other eleven diamonds. You don’t see me dancing.”
You squeeze his shoulder apologetically as you continue to the kitchen, peering over your shoulder once, just to make sure that Ben isn’t following you.
“Dude, I just saved your life twice in the last thirty seconds,” you hear Tim say behind you. “Get back to the game or I’m letting the next sea monster rip off your head.”
You walk into the kitchen, and Emma’s leaning against the counter, waiting for you with her hands clasped behind her back.
“Hi,” she says as you come to a stop on the tiled floor.
“Hi,” you reply, with more breath than voice, because the hunger in her eyes has caught you off-guard, and you gulp a bit as your insides start to tingle.
“Pick a wall,” she says evenly, with her hands still behind her back.
“I get to, pick a wall?” you repeat sluggishly for clarification, because it’s hard to focus on anything with your heart in your throat and your lips tingling from the way she’s looking at them.
You see her take a step towards you, and her hands fall to her sides, and the way she purses her lips tells you that she’s impatient for your answer. You blink out of your momentary daze and shuffle to the wall on your left, to the small space left beside the refrigerator and hidden out of view, because you have a pretty good idea of what’s about to come next. As she presses your back against the wall and traps you in place, the air escapes your lungs completely.
Her lips barely touch yours before Ben comes shuffling into the kitchen humming his victory-dance tune, and you both stay quiet, hoping he’ll leave on his own. You sigh exasperatedly when he spots you, because you are this close to Emma’s lips, and now you kind of feel like screaming. You wonder if Tim’s got those sea monsters on speed dial.
He giggles kind of uncomfortably, and you feel Emma’s grip on your waist tighten.
“Ben,” she says without turning to look at him. She’s struggling to keep her voice even, and you love that she’s breathless and you haven’t even kissed. “I need kissy-time with Jenny. Stay out of the kitchen, or I swear I will sic Claudia on you at the peak of her afternoon tantrum.”
Ben’s wise to leave, but not before singing his response. “Youuuuuuu, got it.”
“Kissy-time?” you ask as Emma’s hips press against yours, and your knees are beginning to give out. “Is that the technical term for it?”
She tickles you, and presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek, which slides down to your neck, and your hands press into her back to keep balanced.
“Yes,” she says against your skin before pulling back, and it takes some serious effort to focus your gaze again. “Can I go back to kissing you senseless now? If you don’t mind, we’re on a tight schedule.”
You laugh, and it’s bubbly and giddy as her hand falls to your thigh, and your head makes contact with the wall behind you as shivers blaze through your body. Your hands come up to rest at her sternum, and you watch how hard she’s working to temper her smile, so you place a baiting kiss on those incredible lips of hers, inviting her back in. You open your mouth to answer, and she silences you with her lips and her tongue, and you pull her closer in an almost desperate way.
Your hips roll forward as her hand sneaks under the thin material of your top to press against your bare skin. You realize that you’re starting to forget what you are and are not allowed to do when not behind a closed bedroom door, and when Emma’s touch digs into your skin hungrily, you think that maybe she’s forgetting too.
You reach behind and lace your fingers with hers, turning the two of you around and pinning her to the wall. You press her hand beside her waist as your tongue meets hers.
Maybe the change in position will help you both come to your senses.
If it doesn’t, well, then that really isn’t your fault.
It takes you a long moment to pull away when Claudia runs in gleefully and slides in between you two. You look down at her, and she’s got the sweetest smile on her face. “Shh,” she tells you from behind the finger pressed against her lips as you tuck her hair out of her eyes, wondering why she couldn’t have just slept a little longer. One of Emma’s hands comes to rest on her shoulder, and you only meet Emma’s gaze for a moment as she licks her kiss-swollen lips, before Claudia’s squirming excitedly and you hear footsteps heading toward the kitchen.
You momentarily think of selling her out to Ben for a few more minutes alone with Emma, but then she tugs on your shirt and giggles silently, and you shield her from view as best you can.
When Ben comes in, you almost think you’ve got him beat, until you feel an arm wrap around your waist and haul you off to the side.
“You’re toast, little monkey,” he says to Claudia, and she shrieks as she takes off running.
They barely make it out of the kitchen before Claudia calmly announces, “Okay, now you hide and I’ll find you,” to Ben, and Emma smiles at you as her arms wrap around your neck to bring you close again. “But you better make it difficult, because I’m clever,” she warns him, and Emma laughs quietly as she shakes her head. You capture her lips again as they leave, beside the forgotten magnetic birthday calendar on the side of the refrigerator that’s covering a note that Emma had hidden there a long time ago, one that reads, ‘Emma and Jenny’s secret make-out spot.’
Emma’s singing. She doesn’t know that you’re watching her from where you’re supposed to be sweeping the hallway. She’s singing along to The Best of Aretha Franklin, and you haven’t taken your eyes off of her since she started. It’s one of the most favored albums in the living room, and Emma knows all the words. It had been her idea to sing those songs with their music group, and her eyes always lit up when they did.
You’ve never heard someone sing blues, soul, and jazz the way she does, just like the greats themselves.
She sings a love song to the couch as she places the cushions back, and your heart is fluttering the entire time. Her hips are moving as she puts the living room back together slowly after sweeping, washing, and vacuuming, and you are undeniably staring. You hear light footsteps on the stairs, and then Claudia comes into view, and she’s giggling as Emma spins her to the music.
After a minute, Emma bends down and whispers something in her ear, and you look down at the broom in your hand, remembering the hallway, and the petty chore she was willing to give you to help out.
“Jenny?” you hear, and there are small feet next to the broom you’re holding. “Emma says to stop watching and come dancing,” she says, and then tugs you out of the hallway with that expression of shock frozen on your face.
You’re flushed as Emma lays eyes on you, and she laughs at you silently as you near. Her hands rest on your hips, and she’s moving you to the music. If you were in a position to notice anything else, you’d see Claudia bringing Ben in from the other room, and twirling like a ballerina as he stands awkwardly beside her. But you can’t, because Emma’s leaning closer to you, and she’s whispering the words as the drums come in, and you’re mesmerized.
She’s got sass, and attitude, and her eyes are alight as you watch her.
The next song is slow, and somewhere in the distant background, you hear Claudia squeal happily as Ben scoops her up and carries her to the other room. Emma’s hands move up your arms unhurriedly, until she’s cupping your face as she sings to you. Your hands settle on her hips, and you tug her up flush against you, because that seems to be the only thing you can clearly accomplish.
You’re conflicted. If you kiss her, you’ll interrupt her incredible singing. If you don’t, you might die. As you contemplate this conundrum, you watch her eyes sparkle happily as she serenades you for making her feel like a natural woman.
“Look at that,” you whisper as Claudia leans into your side to get a better view. “You can see the whole galaxy in his eyes.”
Claudia studies the tiny baby in your arms as friends and relatives continue to mingle, filling the Müller’s living room with happy conversations. She looks back up at you, biting her lip as her eyes widen, like she’s trying to understand what you mean, so you tap her chin and add, “Just like yours.”
“The whole galaxy?” she breathes in wonderment, and her joy makes you happy in return. She’s blinking her eyes, widening them at the thought.
“Every last star,” you answer, and she smiles as she leans against you bashfully, in much the same way Emma does sometimes.
And he’s perfect, this new little life you’re holding. Emma’s mother stops by and strokes your hair gently as she gazes down at the baby, cooing as he yawns. “This is the calmest he’s been all day,” she tells you, trailing a single fingertip down his flushed cheek before continuing across the living room to refill the snack bowls.
The baby looks at you in fascination with his big, green eyes. Emma’s sister, Jessica, jokes that you’re the baby whisperer, because each time you’ve been handed the tiny bundle, he’s stopped fussing. Natalie was quick to add that her aunt and uncle have been looking at you like you’ve got FREE BABYSITTING tattooed on your forehead. Emma only smiles quietly, that same soft, beautiful smile she’s got now as you catch her looking at you from across the room.
For a few moments, you’re both tuned out of the conversations around you. An emotion you still can’t describe in words overtakes you, and you see it written in her eyes too.
“Jenny,” you hear Claudia whine, so you blink back into reality and smile at the little girl beside you. She continues to describe the intricate plot of the storybook she’s brought with her for you to read her later, and you nod along to the wildly imaginative tale. You look back in Emma’s direction, and notice her sweet, rosy cheeks and bright eyes as she gets pulled back into a conversation with her sisters. She meets your gaze for a fleeting second, and that spark in her eyes makes your breath catch in your throat as she flashes you that smile that she reserves only for you.
Claudia leaves your side in search of another giant cookie as the baby begins to fall asleep again despite the noise. You watch his eyelids droop as the couch dips beside you. Emma smiles down at the baby as she rests a hand on the side of your leg to run her thumb in a small circle beside your knee. With the baby still watching you, you look over at her, and she’s happy. She wraps her hand around the crook of your elbow when he squirms and drifts off again.
Welcome to the world, little one, you say to him silently as he tugs on your finger.
You turn to Emma and your lips part to speak, only for the purpose of hearing her voice when she’s this close to you, but then Ben comes rushing into the room to stop in front of you. Sea monsters, you think, but bite your lip.
“Shit, I’m going to be late,” he says as he leans down to press a hurried kiss to your cheek. “I’ll see you both at home,” he adds as he kisses Emma’s cheek too. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” you, Emma and Claudia wish him in unison. He spins the little girl around on his way to the door, and makes a funny hand movement to Tim, and Tim’s quick to send it back, and no one comments on how they totally have a secret handshake.
Claudia runs to the couch by the window, climbs onto its soft cushions between her grandmother and her great aunt, and plants both elbows on the windowsill. She rests her chin in her hands and watches Ben make his way to his car, and you watch her wave him off before scampering back to the party, giant cookie still in hand.
Claudia’s mother thanks you deeply as she comes to gather her son, and the baby opens his mouth and squirms in the blanket he’s wrapped in as she lifts him up. You and Emma clear room on the couch for her older relatives to rest, and you move toward the stairs, where her siblings and their plus-ones are gathered. Emma’s holding onto your hand with both of hers, because she’s excited, and happy, and she likes having you next to her, the combination of which used to leave your head spinning, but you love how much she’s stopped caring about what everyone might think. She’s proud of you and her together, and tickles your waist so you’ll stand closer to her at the bottom of the stairs.
You slowly take in the sight in front of you, the happiness in the room, the easy flow of conversation, and this family leaves you breathless yet again. You’ve never been part of a warm celebration like this before, and this first experience is rather a wonderful one.
You notice the little things, like how Emma’s parents sit together as they do now on the couch. Emma’s mother tilts her head back to rest against Alexei’s shoulder, and you feel a small smile emerge from deep inside of you when his arm wraps around his wife as he tilts his head to the side, finding the top of her head to complete the embrace.
You wrap your hand around the locket resting against your collarbone. You feel the pendant warm under your touch, as if taking a snapshot of this moment in history, capturing Emma’s light laughter behind you, her arm on your waist, your heart beating lively in your chest, and the fact that you’ve found your place within this family. It’s something that you had never let yourself imagine could happen, yet you belong here, and none of them are willing to let you forget that.
You’ve taken to capturing snapshots like this, and it helps your mind quiet itself of the doubt and the sadness. It helps your heart keep your feet on the ground. It helps you to stay in the moment.
Emma kisses your shoulder, and you smile as you fall back into the conversation happening around you, and release the pendant to rest your hand over hers.
And you’re happy.
And you’re calm.
It takes you a while longer than it should to make it back to the Bergmann residence, and Emma’s still laughing at you about those shrubs. In your defense, it wasn’t exactly you who pressed you against them. Had you known that she’d be too kissable to make it somewhere more comfortable to make-out, you would have been more prepared. …so maybe it is your fault. This kind of thing happens sort of often. But you love her laugh, and the fact that she’s failing so miserably to get it under control as you unlock the door.
“Okay, so Ben’s bringing pizza, and tha-“
She’s giggling into your mouth as you steady yourself on the shoe rack, and this is totally the shrubs thing all over again. You turn the both of you around and return the favor, and neither one of you are particularly surprised by now at how much delectable bare skin can be reached without removing any items of clothing.
Emma’s eyes are dark and bright when you pull back, so you press one final kiss to her lips, when all you want to do is keep kissing her forever.
You feel the weight of the day in your legs as you climb the stairs to the main floor of the house, but you have no complaints. You hear Emma open the door for Bodo, who is early as always, but he’s brought ice-cream, which saves you the trip, because you completely forgot to do so post-shrubs.
Timo arrives soon after, and he brings bags of junk food to soften the blow when Ben gets home. All the luck in the world wouldn’t do much to help him. In fact, when Ben does make it home, you all sort of stop the various conversations happening in the living room to try to gauge his mood by his footsteps alone. As he steps onto the main floor of the house, you all look at him, and his expression is completely unreadable.
He takes a breath, and you prepare yourself.
“I didn’t get fired,” he announces, and everyone cheers as he smiles dumbly at the lot of you.
“No, well I didn’t…exactly…sell shoes. I mean, I almost did, but this woman, she like, wanted her kid to get this hideous pair of shoes, and I just…and then the kid started crying, and his mother, she totally, like, put a curse on me! I mean…is my hair falling out?!” he demands to know as he sweeps it up in a frantic motion to expose his hairline.
You’re laughing though you probably shouldn’t be. Timo’s doubled over, so you’re still doing better than that.
“It’s like a fucking minefield out there,” Ben insists. “You get the wrong color of shoes for someone, by total accident might I add, and kaBOOM.”
“This is what we, in the working world, would consider an above-average Thursday shift,” Bodo says, pointing his slice of pizza at Ben, and Emma’s somewhat quick to quietly agree.
“And the girl?” you ask the question on everyone’s mind.
Ben tries to stop the blush that’s sweeping up his neck and across his face as the room falls quiet for the second time this evening. You’ve never seen him so sweet and timid about a girl before. “The, uhm…the girl is letting me take her to a movie tomorrow night,” he answers quietly, with a big, foolish grin on his face, and you smile proudly at him as the boys punch his arm in congratulations.
“I thought we were supposed to end up with no-good gold-diggers who would sue us for all of our money when we grew ugly,” Ben tells you as the two of you are in the kitchen later. “How did we land two completely independent, completely amazing girls who make us work for everything?”
He’s not waiting for an answer, but you smile at him anyway. He leaves you in the kitchen to finish making your tea, which you’re hoping will help you get all of the junk food down, and you jump when you feel arms trail up your back, down your arms slowly, and finally around your waist. You smile down at the steam rising from your mug when she presses a kiss to the back of your neck.
“I’ve duct taped the boys to various living room furniture, now’s our chance to escape,” she whispers conspiratorially in your ear, and you’d be lying if you’d say that you weren’t thinking about doing the exact same thing. Bodo comes into the kitchen a moment later in search of chips, and you giggle quietly at the almost theatrical sigh of defeat that escapes her.
“Movie’s starting,” Timo informs you all from the living room, so you throw Bodo the bag of chips he’s looking for and tug Emma out after you, but not before pulling her close and pressing a wet kiss to her lips.
But the movie isn’t starting. In fact, the boys only said that to get you all into the living room, because Ben’s a softie, and he won’t start the movie without you, though he’ll never, ever, as long as he lives, admit to waiting for you. He scoops up the remote from the table that all of the boys are presently resting their feet on, and clicks it in the direction of television as you and Emma find your seats.
You hug the girl in your arms as the plot unfolds. Neither one of you is exactly sure how this came to be the movie selection for the evening, but you’re too preoccupied to care. Emma’s drawing soft patterns on your leg underneath the thin blanket covering you, because Ben claimed that the fireplace was reflecting off of the television and distracting him, and none of you can be bothered to get up and turn the central heating on. Not that you mind. You much prefer blankets anyway.
You have no idea what’s going on in the movie, because your thoughts have been wandering since the opening scene. Emma’s looking at the screen, as though she cares what’s happening, but as your fingers pass across her skin, she bites her lip to tame her smile, and you know that she’s not paying attention to the movie either.
Your train of thought gets cut off when Emma gasps silently as your fingers trail up her hip and push her shirt up only enough to run a thin line across her stomach. She bites her lip to pull herself together, and quietly clears her throat as she places her hand down on your wrist, in a meek attempt to control that wandering hand of yours. You look down as her fingers slide forward to fit between yours. After all this time, the touch is still electric.
You lean forward to press a kiss to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, and you see her smile at the screen, which encourages you to do it again. Just as you lean forward again, the picture on the television screen freezes, and the living room quiets from the sounds of dramatic explosions.
“I need refills,” Ben states, and pulls himself off the couch. “Jenny, do you remember where the hidden snack stash is?” he asks as Bodo and Timo follow him to the kitchen. You hum some noncommittal response, and then cabinet doors begin to open and shut as you tighten your hold on the girl in your arms.
Emma turns to face you, and her eyes are playful. “You’re making it very difficult for me to focus,” she informs you quietly, and you keep it to yourself that there’s lust in her eyes.
“On the movie?” you ask when her gaze falls to your lips as she licks her own.
“Yeah,” she breathes distractedly, and when she finally meets your gaze again, she rolls her eyes as you laugh at her. The chuckle cuts off at your throat abruptly when her lips press against yours, to shut you up as well as to tame that need that’s been growing inside of you both since you took a seat on the couch forty minutes ago.
She kisses you again, and her lips are so soft, and a whispered moan escapes you as you cup her cheek. You feel her smile into the kiss, victorious, and then her tongue is in your mouth, and she’s pulling you closer with a handful of your top in her grip. You return her smile at the almost-inaudible sigh that escapes her when you’re right where she wants you.
“Jenny,” she says in a whisper, and it’s soft and wanting on her tongue. You like the way your name sounds on her lips. You’ve always liked the way she’d spoken it. You kiss her, and it takes her a moment longer to recover than the last time.
“I love you,” you tell her, because you need to, and nothing else fits as an invisible pull draws you back to her lips. She only looks at you for a long, quiet moment, and then her eyes soften as she giggles, because she’s still bashful under those words, and they make her happy. She pulls you close again and kisses you just once, before pulling away and blushing behind the hands she’s using to cover her face. You pull her hands away and kiss her rosy cheeks until she’ll meet your lips again, and nothing else matters to you in this moment.
“I like this,” she says to you softly.
“Oh yeah, it’s a great movie,” you reply, and her nose crinkles as she giggles.
“No, this. With you,” she clarifies, and your heart fills in your chest.
“I am very good at cuddling,” you agree, holding onto your playful tone as you take in her words.
“You are,” she replies, still half trying to be serious. You kiss the corner of her lips, and she tries to turn and kiss you properly, but you pull away, toying with her devilishly as the boys move their search for the secret snack stash to the back room.
“Don’t worry,” you say as she catches her breath, “we’ll still be cuddling years from now.” You watch as she takes in your words, and your pulse floods your ears at the way her eyes begin to soften. That’s how you know that you’re doing the right thing.
“We will,” she asks, though it doesn’t quite sound like a question.
You nod, because you need that half a millisecond to clear your throat from the fact that her eyes are a little glossier now than they were a few heartbeats ago. “We’ll be sitting on some outdated couch, in some embarrassing sport-type clothing, probably watching something like Dancing with the Stars on television.”
“But you hate those shows,” she reminds you both as her nose crinkles again.
“Well you have at least fifty years to change my mind,” you say, sobering from your playful mood as an important moment holds you both suspended from the world, and she bites a thin sliver of her lower lip to tame her smile as her eyes water, because here you are, talking about the future. You take a breath, and even though the boys are making all of that noise just around the corner, this moment feels quiet, and perfectly still.
With your gazes locked, you silently ask her to join you in this next chapter of the greatest adventure of your life, and your nerves are making butterflies roam wildly in your stomach.
She’s speechless, and breathless, and the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. You lean forward to kiss her right beside her eye, half to check that she’s even real, and she hiccups a watery giggle as she cups your face and kisses your lips.
“You two are just oozing cuteness right now,” Ben informs you in what he hopes passes as feigned disgust as the boys all walk into the room with armfuls of junk food, and Emma blushes as she wriggles safely back into your hold.
Bodo starts the movie back up, and Emma’s hand returns to drawing shapes on your leg as she grins at the screen, but you know she isn’t paying attention to the plot as she presses into you happily.
Your world is at peace, and you fill your lungs slowly as your heart beats with hope for the future. Quiet confidence instills in you in that very moment, that you and Emma will be good, that you’ll last. You’ll fall in love over and over again, and her eyes will still make you weak in the knees when you’re ninety.
This wonderful girl completes you, and you love her with everything you are. You kiss her again, where her shoulder meets her neck, and she squeezes your thigh as if to tell you: Yes, it’s true. This is all really happening, and I love you too.
Two minutes later, Ben starts to whine that his toes are cold, and why did no one remind him to turn on the heating while he was still standing, and you watch him wrestle Bodo for more of the blanket.
When Emma speaks, hoping to mediate a compromise as the world slips further into nighttime, her voice vibrates against your chest. You smile foolishly, because your heart races, and excitement sparks in your veins, and your toes curl, and your body tingles, still, from this wonderful, unfiltered, joyful feeling she creates inside of you.
You shake your head at the bickering that’s picking up around you, and you know. You’re home.
Tonight you’ll crawl into bed beside your very best friend in this strange and complicated world. You’ll ask her one question, about anything at all, and you’ll watch her eyes light up as her lips begin to move, shaping and unfolding a story just for your ears. And you will listen to every single word of that story that rises from her lips, surrounding yourself with her voice as you wrap yourself safely in the small, loving world that you two have created together.
There you will fall asleep, with her arms around you, her head half on her pillow, and there you will also awaken, only a few minutes before the sun finds its way to your windowsill. You’ll watch her wake while the world outside is still quiet, and she’ll pull you close gracelessly to kiss you, with her cheeks a soft pinkish color from sleep and her hair a tousled mess.
You wait for this moment each day.
You hope it’ll always be like this.
- fin -
All 82 stories have been edited (and improved!), and will welcome you whole-heartedly if you revisit them as often as you’d like.
Thank you for coming along this adventure with me,
Owl-Wishes
You come out of the office building, and it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the sun. Shielding the glass on the delicate watch on your wrist from reflection, you check the time as the last of the cool air from inside rolls off your shoulders. You fix the strap of your bag, and take your time rounding the building to the small parking lot in the back. You smile to yourself when you see Ben leaning against his car.
You’ve told him on more than one occasion that you don’t need him to come pick you up, that you’re a big girl, and that this errand is completely out of his way no matter how he spins the map.
He still shows up here each time, blatantly ignoring you, and you love him for it.
His lips twitch up in a funny kind of smile when he notices you, clearly proud of himself as he folds his arms over his chest, and so you nod, accepting defeat as you slowly cross the parking lot.
“So do you feel counseled?” he asks once you’re close, and your smile turns wry. There’s always just the right amount of humor in his voice to keep you from ever taking his slight uneasiness at the whole situation as offensive. Still, for such a question, your best response is to ignore him. It works wonders as you near the passenger-side door. “Did you talk about me?” he asks curiously as he lifts off the door and even opens it for you. Your eyes meet his for a moment, and you see it, that childlike spark. He asks you this every time.
“I told her that you’re annoying,” you answer evenly, gripping the straps of your canvas bag closer to your body as you fold yourself into the seat.
He scoffs loudly into the open air, and shuts your door before making a show of parading his emotions around the hood of the car. He drops gracelessly into the driver’s seat beside you, and grumbles to himself as he shoves the keys into the ignition. “But it went okay? Like, as okay as it can go?” he asks you in a softer voice, and his hand curls and hovers over the gear-shift, unmoving until you confirm this for him.
You smooth out the fabric of your skirt before you answer. “Yeah, it went okay,” you reply honestly, and you like that he checks in with you, because all teasing aside, it helps keep your feet on the ground as your heart and your head try to work themselves out.
Ben shifts the car into reverse, and you look back at the building you came out of, before settling into your seat.
The car ride is quiet. You watch the landscape pass by your window as you slowly make the change between one place and another. You close your eyes as the sun comes out from behind the clouds again and warms your face. Whenever you leave these sessions, sadness rises to the surface of your being. It’s thick and heavy, and somehow Ben knows to be quiet for a little while as you ease it down again in order to face the world. You’re glad that he’s here. His presence helps.
Your lips quirk up when Ben starts humming along to the radio playing quietly throughout the car.
He still can’t stay on-key to save his life.
Your eyes open again when Ben presses a little too quickly on the brakes.
“Watch it asshole, there are children out,” he grumbles at the driver speeding down the road who just nearly merged their two cars, and you turn to look at Ben as he drives on. “What,” he asks you flatly after a few moments.
You don’t reply, but your lips curl up in a halfway smile, and you see him start to blush. You rest your hand on his for a quick moment, giving it a squeeze.
“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters before you can suggest that he’s a good person, or something equally insane like that. “I’m still upset with you,” he reminds you.
You know that he’s trying to let it go. You know that he can’t.
“Annoying,” he finally scoffs under his breath as he signals and turns left.
You smile and settle back in your seat, catching a few seconds of the basketball game taking place on one of the courts you pass. You see Ben check the time and tap his fingers against the steering wheel, and your heart begins to race, because you’re getting close.
Ben hands you the paper bag as he settles into the driver’s seat again and starts the car. You’re not hungry, but the scent rising from the containers inside is still tantalizing, and you can’t help but notice that he totally stole a few bites on his walk back to the car from the restaurant. You don’t blame him.
You can barely wait for him to park when you finally arrive. You see her sitting in the little-kid sandbox (of course she is), and your heart drums wildly in your chest, making you feel short of breath, and a smile stretches across your face. You click the seat belt off and step out of the car, and you and Ben make some mild attempt to walk like normal people, when all you both feel like doing is racing each other to see which one reaches them first.
Emma rests back on her hands as Claudia dances around her with her arms above her head like a ballerina, before skipping off with her friends in the direction of the big-kid swing set. You watch as she calls for the little girl to be careful, and your heart feels full. You see her clean some sand from her pant legs and wave to Claudia as she rounds the bigger slide. She runs a hand through her hair to get it off of her face, and that’s when she finally spots you.
Your gaze locks with hers with about half of the distance left to cross, and the muscles in your legs tingle, wanting to work faster to get you there.
“Emmaaaa,” Ben whines petulantly as you near that beautiful, happy girl of yours. She smiles at the both of you, and your heart kicks happily against your ribs. “Jenny said that I’m annoooyiiing.”
Emma’s smiling only at you now, and even from meters away, you can see that devilish sparkle in her eyes, and your knees feel a little unsteady. When you’re finally close enough, she takes hold of your hand and hauls you through those last few centimeters. She cups your face, kisses your lips, and you forget that the rest of the world exists.
The sound that pulls you apart is Ben, scoffing indignantly in the air, and when you look at him, he looks thoroughly scandalized. “Wha…?!” he manages to say in a rough puff of air, and your lips still tingle from her kisses, so you run your tongue over them. “Why are you rewarding bad behavior?!” he demands to know, and Emma chuckles adorably to herself. She shakes her head and leans over, pressing a kiss to his cheek too, so he won’t feel left out. He makes a show of smearing it away as the tips of your fingers ghost over her side, because now that she’s here, all you really want to do is be with her. “Hey! I don’t want your pity kisses!” he says, and you can tell that he’s having a hard time holding onto this feigned anger of his.
Claudia’s spotted you from over by the big-kid swings, and has abandoned her friends to sprint in your direction, so you tug on Emma’s sleeve in a needy motion as you let your voice fall to a quiet whine. “I want your pity kisses,” you murmur through pouty lips, and she giggles sweetly before planting kisses on your face, starting with the bridge of your nose.
You almost feel bashful beneath her kisses. She’s pressing them into your cheek now, waiting for you to smile so that she can press one into your dimple. She hums in satisfaction when you do, and the sound is for your ears only, which makes your insides tingle.
“Hi,” you say to her, because it dawns on you that you haven’t even greeted each other properly yet.
“Hi,” she replies just as quietly before meeting your lips, and you know that Ben would insert-disapproving-comment-here if he wasn’t busy anticipating Claudia’s crash into his arms at any moment.
“Get a room,” he still manages to playfully sneer in your direction as he scoops her up.
“Ben,” Claudia pulls back after taking in how high off the ground she is, “they’re having kissy-time,” she explains slowly. “And Mama says that kissy-time is very important.”
Emma’s arm has wrapped around your waist, and your body tingles with delight as you hear her agree with her small cousin. Claudia wriggles out of Ben’s hold after a moment, and as soon as her rainbow sandals touch the ground, she pulls on his hand, dragging him over to where you and Emma are standing, and tugs on your hand too.
“Okay, enough kissy-time,” she commands, and you know that if she had a free hand, it would be on her hip. “Let’s go to the swings,” she pleads, and you’re well aware of the fact that you can’t say no to her. So you break away after far too little time with Emma, and follow her to the big-kid playground.
Emma stays close to you after appointments. Claudia lets the two of you sit right at the edge of the swings, only after you promise her profusely that you’re watching as she calls for Ben to swing her higher and higher. You notice how he slows the swing down a little every minute or so without her noticing. You know he’ll guard that child with his life.
You watch Claudia as her whole being beams with happiness, and then Emma’s shoulder nudges your own. She’s checking if you’re alright, so you kiss her sloppily as she cups your cheek. It’s as much of an answer as you can manage to give before a certain little girl dances up to you and announces that it’s lunch time.
Emma sits next to you at the picnic table beneath the large, shady tree. Claudia’s entertaining all of you with a detailed explanation of how she’s going to travel to all of the planets in the solar system one day, describing everything she hopes to see. You look down when Emma rests a hand subtly on your leg and strokes it, warming the skin, checking in with you.
You place your hand over hers, lace your fingers together, and look back across the table, because Claudia’s paused her story, and she and Ben are looking at you all knowingly.
You blush, though you’re not sure why, but Emma squeezes your hand and kisses your clothed shoulder through a smile. Ben checks his watch again and sighs contentedly. “We gotta get going,” he says, and Claudia scrambles onto his lap, stating that she’s far too tired to walk any further, and he’ll have to carry her, like a true damsel in distress.
You and Emma walk behind them, swinging your clasped hands between you, and Claudia turns her head around every few moments to make sure that you’re coming as Ben carries her to the car.
There’s a list waiting for all of you when you get to the Müller home. Emma’s parents won’t be back until an hour or so before the party begins, so it’s up to you to get things ready. Emma divides up the tasks, and you’re separated again, as Claudia chooses you to be the one to put her down for her nap. Emma sends her upstairs with a kiss on the cheek, and you wait patiently for your turn before following Claudia out of the room. A little hand slips into yours as you make the way up the stairs, looking back only once to see Emma disappear into the kitchen.
You sing Mr. Bear four different songs of Claudia’s choosing to help him fall asleep, but as you finish the last one, Claudia pouts, and informs you that he still can’t fall asleep. You bite your tongue to keep from offering to score that stuffed bear a sleeping pill, because you know that Claudia’s tired enough to fall fast asleep, she’s been yawning since you left the park. This…this is just her adamant attempt to keep you from leaving her alone.
Not that she’s scared of that.
She’s ensured you of that.
You lean heavily against the bed from where you’re sitting on the floor, because you’re a little bit ready for a nap too, and your head is filling up with the many things that could happen if you’d go back downstairs and pull Emma into a dark corner. But you don’t, because Claudia’s looking at you all pouty and expectant, so you sing another lullaby from your finely-tuned repertoire of her favorites while brushing the backs of your fingers along her cheek as her eyelids grow heavy.
She finally falls asleep with both of her little hands holding onto yours, so you stay sitting on the floor beside Emma’s bed, afraid that she’ll wake from the movement. You look at her hands wrapped around yours, and a soft smile flickers onto your face. It is now nine days since this wonderful little girl became a big sister, and even with your and Emma’s constant reassurance, she’s still worried that you’ll pick her new little brother over her. She’s holding onto you so she won’t lose you, and as she sleeps before you now, you promise her that she never will.
The memory of that night just over a week ago makes your chest feel warm from the inside out. You’d awoken from your hazy sleep at the sound of a distant phone ringing, and had quickly reached over to make sure that Emma was safely asleep beside you. Once you knew that she was, you’d felt instantly calmer. You lay there listening to the quiet shuffling of slippers on tiled floor, as Emma’s parents’ bedroom door opened and closed a few times.
By then you’d had your suspicions.
You’d slowly untangled yourself from Emma’s embrace, and pulled a sweater over your tank top before quietly leaving the room. Emma’s parents were sitting sleepily on the couch downstairs, and you’d smiled your hello as you took a seat on the stairs. They both returned the silent greeting, it being far too early for words yet.
When you heard a car come to a stop outside the house on the otherwise quiet residential street, your heart had leapt in your chest from excitement. Emma’s parents went outside, and you’d lingered at the front door. You’d watched Alexei pick up a tired-looking Claudia and carry her inside, while Emma’s mother guided Anthony in after them.
“Mama’s going to the hospital to have the baby,” Claudia had explained sleepily when Alexei set her and Mr. Bear down on the couch.
“That’s right, my dear,” Emma’s mother had cooed. “And we’ll get to see them both tomorrow,” she added as she motioned for Alexei to take Anthony upstairs to Tim’s room.
“I want to sleep in Emma’s room,” Claudia had murmured as the older woman pulled blankets and a pillow out of the hall closet. “Please,” she’d added sadly, and you’d seen Emma’s mother’s heart melt just as yours was.
“Come on honeybee, I’ll take you,” you’d offered, holding your hand out after you’d seen the hesitancy on the older woman’s face.
“Alexei will bring the small mattress for her,” she’d told you, as you both remembered the actual size of Emma’s bed. You’d nodded as Claudia took your hand and followed you carefully up the stairs. When you’d reached Emma’s room, the mattress was already on the floor, and you liked that Emma’s parents knew to anticipate each other’s thoughts. It was a closeness that came with time.
Emma was curled with her back to the door, clearly trying to hold onto sleep as best she could. So you’d helped Claudia and her bear onto the bed beside Emma, because you knew that there was no chance that she’d agree to sleep alone on the mattress on the floor, and watched her instantly snuggle next to Emma.
“Claude?” you remember Emma asking in that hoarse, sleep-heavy voice you love. “Jenny, don’t you dare,” she’d added in nearly the same breath, just as you’d lifted the blanket on the mattress to get situated. “Get your cute butt over here,” she’d demanded with her back still turned to you, so you’d dropped the blanket and shuffled over to her. “Get into bed,” she’d ordered, so you did, climbing over her and Claudia to press yourself against the wall.
Claudia had looked absolutely delighted with the situation, sandwiched between you two. As she fell fast asleep, taking up most of the bed, Emma had reached over and stroked your cheek. That was perhaps your favorite part of the night, those long few minutes around four in the morning, when Emma had looked at you like you were everything that mattered as Claudia slept between you, holding your hand.
You very carefully slip your hand from Claudia’s hold now, watching her intently the entire time to ensure she’s still asleep, and as you stand back up, you realize that your left leg has fallen asleep. You hobble out of Emma’s room and pull the door mostly shut behind you, and as you begin to make your way downstairs, the first thing that catches your eye is rather upsetting.
“Oh no,” you breathe, mostly to yourself, as you take in the scene. “Pelvic thrusts?” you say as you reach the bottom of the stairs. “This can’t be good.”
Tim’s burying his head in one of his hands as Ben throws down the controller to better delve into his victory dance. He spins in a tight circle and shoots one arm out in your direction, and his strange dance makes you stay a good two meters away from him, just in case whatever he’s got is somehow contagious.
“I fouuuuuuund it,” he sings to you, “uh, huh.” His hips go left while his hands go up, and you’re truly a little scared for your life as he takes a step in your direction. “That’s right, who found it? I found it. Before Tim found it, I did.”
“Are you going to sing everything you say?” you wonder as he attempts to moonwalk across the living room.
“Ye-e-e-es!” he informs you, bellowing the word as his hands turn to fists to accentuate the emotion behind it. “I aaaaam, because I-I-I-I-I found it, that’s right, that’s right.”
“Tim, are you doing okay?” you ask carefully as you side-step toward the kitchen to escape this insanity.
“I guess,” he replies flatly, “I mean, I found the other eleven diamonds. You don’t see me dancing.”
You squeeze his shoulder apologetically as you continue to the kitchen, peering over your shoulder once, just to make sure that Ben isn’t following you.
“Dude, I just saved your life twice in the last thirty seconds,” you hear Tim say behind you. “Get back to the game or I’m letting the next sea monster rip off your head.”
You walk into the kitchen, and Emma’s leaning against the counter, waiting for you with her hands clasped behind her back.
“Hi,” she says as you come to a stop on the tiled floor.
“Hi,” you reply, with more breath than voice, because the hunger in her eyes has caught you off-guard, and you gulp a bit as your insides start to tingle.
“Pick a wall,” she says evenly, with her hands still behind her back.
“I get to, pick a wall?” you repeat sluggishly for clarification, because it’s hard to focus on anything with your heart in your throat and your lips tingling from the way she’s looking at them.
You see her take a step towards you, and her hands fall to her sides, and the way she purses her lips tells you that she’s impatient for your answer. You blink out of your momentary daze and shuffle to the wall on your left, to the small space left beside the refrigerator and hidden out of view, because you have a pretty good idea of what’s about to come next. As she presses your back against the wall and traps you in place, the air escapes your lungs completely.
Her lips barely touch yours before Ben comes shuffling into the kitchen humming his victory-dance tune, and you both stay quiet, hoping he’ll leave on his own. You sigh exasperatedly when he spots you, because you are this close to Emma’s lips, and now you kind of feel like screaming. You wonder if Tim’s got those sea monsters on speed dial.
He giggles kind of uncomfortably, and you feel Emma’s grip on your waist tighten.
“Ben,” she says without turning to look at him. She’s struggling to keep her voice even, and you love that she’s breathless and you haven’t even kissed. “I need kissy-time with Jenny. Stay out of the kitchen, or I swear I will sic Claudia on you at the peak of her afternoon tantrum.”
Ben’s wise to leave, but not before singing his response. “Youuuuuuu, got it.”
“Kissy-time?” you ask as Emma’s hips press against yours, and your knees are beginning to give out. “Is that the technical term for it?”
She tickles you, and presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek, which slides down to your neck, and your hands press into her back to keep balanced.
“Yes,” she says against your skin before pulling back, and it takes some serious effort to focus your gaze again. “Can I go back to kissing you senseless now? If you don’t mind, we’re on a tight schedule.”
You laugh, and it’s bubbly and giddy as her hand falls to your thigh, and your head makes contact with the wall behind you as shivers blaze through your body. Your hands come up to rest at her sternum, and you watch how hard she’s working to temper her smile, so you place a baiting kiss on those incredible lips of hers, inviting her back in. You open your mouth to answer, and she silences you with her lips and her tongue, and you pull her closer in an almost desperate way.
Your hips roll forward as her hand sneaks under the thin material of your top to press against your bare skin. You realize that you’re starting to forget what you are and are not allowed to do when not behind a closed bedroom door, and when Emma’s touch digs into your skin hungrily, you think that maybe she’s forgetting too.
You reach behind and lace your fingers with hers, turning the two of you around and pinning her to the wall. You press her hand beside her waist as your tongue meets hers.
Maybe the change in position will help you both come to your senses.
If it doesn’t, well, then that really isn’t your fault.
It takes you a long moment to pull away when Claudia runs in gleefully and slides in between you two. You look down at her, and she’s got the sweetest smile on her face. “Shh,” she tells you from behind the finger pressed against her lips as you tuck her hair out of her eyes, wondering why she couldn’t have just slept a little longer. One of Emma’s hands comes to rest on her shoulder, and you only meet Emma’s gaze for a moment as she licks her kiss-swollen lips, before Claudia’s squirming excitedly and you hear footsteps heading toward the kitchen.
You momentarily think of selling her out to Ben for a few more minutes alone with Emma, but then she tugs on your shirt and giggles silently, and you shield her from view as best you can.
When Ben comes in, you almost think you’ve got him beat, until you feel an arm wrap around your waist and haul you off to the side.
“You’re toast, little monkey,” he says to Claudia, and she shrieks as she takes off running.
They barely make it out of the kitchen before Claudia calmly announces, “Okay, now you hide and I’ll find you,” to Ben, and Emma smiles at you as her arms wrap around your neck to bring you close again. “But you better make it difficult, because I’m clever,” she warns him, and Emma laughs quietly as she shakes her head. You capture her lips again as they leave, beside the forgotten magnetic birthday calendar on the side of the refrigerator that’s covering a note that Emma had hidden there a long time ago, one that reads, ‘Emma and Jenny’s secret make-out spot.’
Emma’s singing. She doesn’t know that you’re watching her from where you’re supposed to be sweeping the hallway. She’s singing along to The Best of Aretha Franklin, and you haven’t taken your eyes off of her since she started. It’s one of the most favored albums in the living room, and Emma knows all the words. It had been her idea to sing those songs with their music group, and her eyes always lit up when they did.
You’ve never heard someone sing blues, soul, and jazz the way she does, just like the greats themselves.
She sings a love song to the couch as she places the cushions back, and your heart is fluttering the entire time. Her hips are moving as she puts the living room back together slowly after sweeping, washing, and vacuuming, and you are undeniably staring. You hear light footsteps on the stairs, and then Claudia comes into view, and she’s giggling as Emma spins her to the music.
After a minute, Emma bends down and whispers something in her ear, and you look down at the broom in your hand, remembering the hallway, and the petty chore she was willing to give you to help out.
“Jenny?” you hear, and there are small feet next to the broom you’re holding. “Emma says to stop watching and come dancing,” she says, and then tugs you out of the hallway with that expression of shock frozen on your face.
You’re flushed as Emma lays eyes on you, and she laughs at you silently as you near. Her hands rest on your hips, and she’s moving you to the music. If you were in a position to notice anything else, you’d see Claudia bringing Ben in from the other room, and twirling like a ballerina as he stands awkwardly beside her. But you can’t, because Emma’s leaning closer to you, and she’s whispering the words as the drums come in, and you’re mesmerized.
She’s got sass, and attitude, and her eyes are alight as you watch her.
The next song is slow, and somewhere in the distant background, you hear Claudia squeal happily as Ben scoops her up and carries her to the other room. Emma’s hands move up your arms unhurriedly, until she’s cupping your face as she sings to you. Your hands settle on her hips, and you tug her up flush against you, because that seems to be the only thing you can clearly accomplish.
You’re conflicted. If you kiss her, you’ll interrupt her incredible singing. If you don’t, you might die. As you contemplate this conundrum, you watch her eyes sparkle happily as she serenades you for making her feel like a natural woman.
“Look at that,” you whisper as Claudia leans into your side to get a better view. “You can see the whole galaxy in his eyes.”
Claudia studies the tiny baby in your arms as friends and relatives continue to mingle, filling the Müller’s living room with happy conversations. She looks back up at you, biting her lip as her eyes widen, like she’s trying to understand what you mean, so you tap her chin and add, “Just like yours.”
“The whole galaxy?” she breathes in wonderment, and her joy makes you happy in return. She’s blinking her eyes, widening them at the thought.
“Every last star,” you answer, and she smiles as she leans against you bashfully, in much the same way Emma does sometimes.
And he’s perfect, this new little life you’re holding. Emma’s mother stops by and strokes your hair gently as she gazes down at the baby, cooing as he yawns. “This is the calmest he’s been all day,” she tells you, trailing a single fingertip down his flushed cheek before continuing across the living room to refill the snack bowls.
The baby looks at you in fascination with his big, green eyes. Emma’s sister, Jessica, jokes that you’re the baby whisperer, because each time you’ve been handed the tiny bundle, he’s stopped fussing. Natalie was quick to add that her aunt and uncle have been looking at you like you’ve got FREE BABYSITTING tattooed on your forehead. Emma only smiles quietly, that same soft, beautiful smile she’s got now as you catch her looking at you from across the room.
For a few moments, you’re both tuned out of the conversations around you. An emotion you still can’t describe in words overtakes you, and you see it written in her eyes too.
“Jenny,” you hear Claudia whine, so you blink back into reality and smile at the little girl beside you. She continues to describe the intricate plot of the storybook she’s brought with her for you to read her later, and you nod along to the wildly imaginative tale. You look back in Emma’s direction, and notice her sweet, rosy cheeks and bright eyes as she gets pulled back into a conversation with her sisters. She meets your gaze for a fleeting second, and that spark in her eyes makes your breath catch in your throat as she flashes you that smile that she reserves only for you.
Claudia leaves your side in search of another giant cookie as the baby begins to fall asleep again despite the noise. You watch his eyelids droop as the couch dips beside you. Emma smiles down at the baby as she rests a hand on the side of your leg to run her thumb in a small circle beside your knee. With the baby still watching you, you look over at her, and she’s happy. She wraps her hand around the crook of your elbow when he squirms and drifts off again.
Welcome to the world, little one, you say to him silently as he tugs on your finger.
You turn to Emma and your lips part to speak, only for the purpose of hearing her voice when she’s this close to you, but then Ben comes rushing into the room to stop in front of you. Sea monsters, you think, but bite your lip.
“Shit, I’m going to be late,” he says as he leans down to press a hurried kiss to your cheek. “I’ll see you both at home,” he adds as he kisses Emma’s cheek too. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” you, Emma and Claudia wish him in unison. He spins the little girl around on his way to the door, and makes a funny hand movement to Tim, and Tim’s quick to send it back, and no one comments on how they totally have a secret handshake.
Claudia runs to the couch by the window, climbs onto its soft cushions between her grandmother and her great aunt, and plants both elbows on the windowsill. She rests her chin in her hands and watches Ben make his way to his car, and you watch her wave him off before scampering back to the party, giant cookie still in hand.
Claudia’s mother thanks you deeply as she comes to gather her son, and the baby opens his mouth and squirms in the blanket he’s wrapped in as she lifts him up. You and Emma clear room on the couch for her older relatives to rest, and you move toward the stairs, where her siblings and their plus-ones are gathered. Emma’s holding onto your hand with both of hers, because she’s excited, and happy, and she likes having you next to her, the combination of which used to leave your head spinning, but you love how much she’s stopped caring about what everyone might think. She’s proud of you and her together, and tickles your waist so you’ll stand closer to her at the bottom of the stairs.
You slowly take in the sight in front of you, the happiness in the room, the easy flow of conversation, and this family leaves you breathless yet again. You’ve never been part of a warm celebration like this before, and this first experience is rather a wonderful one.
You notice the little things, like how Emma’s parents sit together as they do now on the couch. Emma’s mother tilts her head back to rest against Alexei’s shoulder, and you feel a small smile emerge from deep inside of you when his arm wraps around his wife as he tilts his head to the side, finding the top of her head to complete the embrace.
You wrap your hand around the locket resting against your collarbone. You feel the pendant warm under your touch, as if taking a snapshot of this moment in history, capturing Emma’s light laughter behind you, her arm on your waist, your heart beating lively in your chest, and the fact that you’ve found your place within this family. It’s something that you had never let yourself imagine could happen, yet you belong here, and none of them are willing to let you forget that.
You’ve taken to capturing snapshots like this, and it helps your mind quiet itself of the doubt and the sadness. It helps your heart keep your feet on the ground. It helps you to stay in the moment.
Emma kisses your shoulder, and you smile as you fall back into the conversation happening around you, and release the pendant to rest your hand over hers.
And you’re happy.
And you’re calm.
It takes you a while longer than it should to make it back to the Bergmann residence, and Emma’s still laughing at you about those shrubs. In your defense, it wasn’t exactly you who pressed you against them. Had you known that she’d be too kissable to make it somewhere more comfortable to make-out, you would have been more prepared. …so maybe it is your fault. This kind of thing happens sort of often. But you love her laugh, and the fact that she’s failing so miserably to get it under control as you unlock the door.
“Okay, so Ben’s bringing pizza, and tha-“
She’s giggling into your mouth as you steady yourself on the shoe rack, and this is totally the shrubs thing all over again. You turn the both of you around and return the favor, and neither one of you are particularly surprised by now at how much delectable bare skin can be reached without removing any items of clothing.
Emma’s eyes are dark and bright when you pull back, so you press one final kiss to her lips, when all you want to do is keep kissing her forever.
You feel the weight of the day in your legs as you climb the stairs to the main floor of the house, but you have no complaints. You hear Emma open the door for Bodo, who is early as always, but he’s brought ice-cream, which saves you the trip, because you completely forgot to do so post-shrubs.
Timo arrives soon after, and he brings bags of junk food to soften the blow when Ben gets home. All the luck in the world wouldn’t do much to help him. In fact, when Ben does make it home, you all sort of stop the various conversations happening in the living room to try to gauge his mood by his footsteps alone. As he steps onto the main floor of the house, you all look at him, and his expression is completely unreadable.
He takes a breath, and you prepare yourself.
“I didn’t get fired,” he announces, and everyone cheers as he smiles dumbly at the lot of you.
“No, well I didn’t…exactly…sell shoes. I mean, I almost did, but this woman, she like, wanted her kid to get this hideous pair of shoes, and I just…and then the kid started crying, and his mother, she totally, like, put a curse on me! I mean…is my hair falling out?!” he demands to know as he sweeps it up in a frantic motion to expose his hairline.
You’re laughing though you probably shouldn’t be. Timo’s doubled over, so you’re still doing better than that.
“It’s like a fucking minefield out there,” Ben insists. “You get the wrong color of shoes for someone, by total accident might I add, and kaBOOM.”
“This is what we, in the working world, would consider an above-average Thursday shift,” Bodo says, pointing his slice of pizza at Ben, and Emma’s somewhat quick to quietly agree.
“And the girl?” you ask the question on everyone’s mind.
Ben tries to stop the blush that’s sweeping up his neck and across his face as the room falls quiet for the second time this evening. You’ve never seen him so sweet and timid about a girl before. “The, uhm…the girl is letting me take her to a movie tomorrow night,” he answers quietly, with a big, foolish grin on his face, and you smile proudly at him as the boys punch his arm in congratulations.
“I thought we were supposed to end up with no-good gold-diggers who would sue us for all of our money when we grew ugly,” Ben tells you as the two of you are in the kitchen later. “How did we land two completely independent, completely amazing girls who make us work for everything?”
He’s not waiting for an answer, but you smile at him anyway. He leaves you in the kitchen to finish making your tea, which you’re hoping will help you get all of the junk food down, and you jump when you feel arms trail up your back, down your arms slowly, and finally around your waist. You smile down at the steam rising from your mug when she presses a kiss to the back of your neck.
“I’ve duct taped the boys to various living room furniture, now’s our chance to escape,” she whispers conspiratorially in your ear, and you’d be lying if you’d say that you weren’t thinking about doing the exact same thing. Bodo comes into the kitchen a moment later in search of chips, and you giggle quietly at the almost theatrical sigh of defeat that escapes her.
“Movie’s starting,” Timo informs you all from the living room, so you throw Bodo the bag of chips he’s looking for and tug Emma out after you, but not before pulling her close and pressing a wet kiss to her lips.
But the movie isn’t starting. In fact, the boys only said that to get you all into the living room, because Ben’s a softie, and he won’t start the movie without you, though he’ll never, ever, as long as he lives, admit to waiting for you. He scoops up the remote from the table that all of the boys are presently resting their feet on, and clicks it in the direction of television as you and Emma find your seats.
You hug the girl in your arms as the plot unfolds. Neither one of you is exactly sure how this came to be the movie selection for the evening, but you’re too preoccupied to care. Emma’s drawing soft patterns on your leg underneath the thin blanket covering you, because Ben claimed that the fireplace was reflecting off of the television and distracting him, and none of you can be bothered to get up and turn the central heating on. Not that you mind. You much prefer blankets anyway.
You have no idea what’s going on in the movie, because your thoughts have been wandering since the opening scene. Emma’s looking at the screen, as though she cares what’s happening, but as your fingers pass across her skin, she bites her lip to tame her smile, and you know that she’s not paying attention to the movie either.
Your train of thought gets cut off when Emma gasps silently as your fingers trail up her hip and push her shirt up only enough to run a thin line across her stomach. She bites her lip to pull herself together, and quietly clears her throat as she places her hand down on your wrist, in a meek attempt to control that wandering hand of yours. You look down as her fingers slide forward to fit between yours. After all this time, the touch is still electric.
You lean forward to press a kiss to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, and you see her smile at the screen, which encourages you to do it again. Just as you lean forward again, the picture on the television screen freezes, and the living room quiets from the sounds of dramatic explosions.
“I need refills,” Ben states, and pulls himself off the couch. “Jenny, do you remember where the hidden snack stash is?” he asks as Bodo and Timo follow him to the kitchen. You hum some noncommittal response, and then cabinet doors begin to open and shut as you tighten your hold on the girl in your arms.
Emma turns to face you, and her eyes are playful. “You’re making it very difficult for me to focus,” she informs you quietly, and you keep it to yourself that there’s lust in her eyes.
“On the movie?” you ask when her gaze falls to your lips as she licks her own.
“Yeah,” she breathes distractedly, and when she finally meets your gaze again, she rolls her eyes as you laugh at her. The chuckle cuts off at your throat abruptly when her lips press against yours, to shut you up as well as to tame that need that’s been growing inside of you both since you took a seat on the couch forty minutes ago.
She kisses you again, and her lips are so soft, and a whispered moan escapes you as you cup her cheek. You feel her smile into the kiss, victorious, and then her tongue is in your mouth, and she’s pulling you closer with a handful of your top in her grip. You return her smile at the almost-inaudible sigh that escapes her when you’re right where she wants you.
“Jenny,” she says in a whisper, and it’s soft and wanting on her tongue. You like the way your name sounds on her lips. You’ve always liked the way she’d spoken it. You kiss her, and it takes her a moment longer to recover than the last time.
“I love you,” you tell her, because you need to, and nothing else fits as an invisible pull draws you back to her lips. She only looks at you for a long, quiet moment, and then her eyes soften as she giggles, because she’s still bashful under those words, and they make her happy. She pulls you close again and kisses you just once, before pulling away and blushing behind the hands she’s using to cover her face. You pull her hands away and kiss her rosy cheeks until she’ll meet your lips again, and nothing else matters to you in this moment.
“I like this,” she says to you softly.
“Oh yeah, it’s a great movie,” you reply, and her nose crinkles as she giggles.
“No, this. With you,” she clarifies, and your heart fills in your chest.
“I am very good at cuddling,” you agree, holding onto your playful tone as you take in her words.
“You are,” she replies, still half trying to be serious. You kiss the corner of her lips, and she tries to turn and kiss you properly, but you pull away, toying with her devilishly as the boys move their search for the secret snack stash to the back room.
“Don’t worry,” you say as she catches her breath, “we’ll still be cuddling years from now.” You watch as she takes in your words, and your pulse floods your ears at the way her eyes begin to soften. That’s how you know that you’re doing the right thing.
“We will,” she asks, though it doesn’t quite sound like a question.
You nod, because you need that half a millisecond to clear your throat from the fact that her eyes are a little glossier now than they were a few heartbeats ago. “We’ll be sitting on some outdated couch, in some embarrassing sport-type clothing, probably watching something like Dancing with the Stars on television.”
“But you hate those shows,” she reminds you both as her nose crinkles again.
“Well you have at least fifty years to change my mind,” you say, sobering from your playful mood as an important moment holds you both suspended from the world, and she bites a thin sliver of her lower lip to tame her smile as her eyes water, because here you are, talking about the future. You take a breath, and even though the boys are making all of that noise just around the corner, this moment feels quiet, and perfectly still.
With your gazes locked, you silently ask her to join you in this next chapter of the greatest adventure of your life, and your nerves are making butterflies roam wildly in your stomach.
She’s speechless, and breathless, and the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. You lean forward to kiss her right beside her eye, half to check that she’s even real, and she hiccups a watery giggle as she cups your face and kisses your lips.
“You two are just oozing cuteness right now,” Ben informs you in what he hopes passes as feigned disgust as the boys all walk into the room with armfuls of junk food, and Emma blushes as she wriggles safely back into your hold.
Bodo starts the movie back up, and Emma’s hand returns to drawing shapes on your leg as she grins at the screen, but you know she isn’t paying attention to the plot as she presses into you happily.
Your world is at peace, and you fill your lungs slowly as your heart beats with hope for the future. Quiet confidence instills in you in that very moment, that you and Emma will be good, that you’ll last. You’ll fall in love over and over again, and her eyes will still make you weak in the knees when you’re ninety.
This wonderful girl completes you, and you love her with everything you are. You kiss her again, where her shoulder meets her neck, and she squeezes your thigh as if to tell you: Yes, it’s true. This is all really happening, and I love you too.
Two minutes later, Ben starts to whine that his toes are cold, and why did no one remind him to turn on the heating while he was still standing, and you watch him wrestle Bodo for more of the blanket.
When Emma speaks, hoping to mediate a compromise as the world slips further into nighttime, her voice vibrates against your chest. You smile foolishly, because your heart races, and excitement sparks in your veins, and your toes curl, and your body tingles, still, from this wonderful, unfiltered, joyful feeling she creates inside of you.
You shake your head at the bickering that’s picking up around you, and you know. You’re home.
Tonight you’ll crawl into bed beside your very best friend in this strange and complicated world. You’ll ask her one question, about anything at all, and you’ll watch her eyes light up as her lips begin to move, shaping and unfolding a story just for your ears. And you will listen to every single word of that story that rises from her lips, surrounding yourself with her voice as you wrap yourself safely in the small, loving world that you two have created together.
There you will fall asleep, with her arms around you, her head half on her pillow, and there you will also awaken, only a few minutes before the sun finds its way to your windowsill. You’ll watch her wake while the world outside is still quiet, and she’ll pull you close gracelessly to kiss you, with her cheeks a soft pinkish color from sleep and her hair a tousled mess.
You wait for this moment each day.
You hope it’ll always be like this.
- fin -