How do I get back there, to the place where I fell asleep inside you?
I was having a super good day. Granted I was up till 2:30 am last night, it was for good reason, the 5 hours of sleep was well worth it. And I wasn't even cranky. I do hate awkward moments though. If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be my lack of confidence and how shy I am. Why can't I just have it in my state of mind, that I'm a cool person, I'm attractive, I'm fun to hang out with. I'm fine with most friends, but some new people just intimidate me, I don't feel like I'm good enough for you and maybe I'm not.
How can I be on such a huge high and then it all falls down. It's like I can't be extremely happy for more than a day. I have to stay in the middle if I don't want to crash down. Whatever I need to suck it up and gain some confidence. I fucking am good enough.
Today I flooded my suite. I flushed the toilet and it just started over flowing. Not unusual, it's happened many times before, but then it wouldn't stop. It kept going so the water went beyond the stall door. I freaked out and thought maybe, for once this month, my RA would be in her room. I got lucky she had just got back, she was on the phone but I walked right up to her and said my toilet is flooding my suite. She told me to call police and safety, gave me the number and then left. Pretty sweet, considering I was on the verge of tears because all the stuff in my suite was going to be ruined by the water. I called police and safety about 6 times, they NEVER picked up, real safe! So I had to take on the water and figure out how the fuck to stop it. I played with this valve and it finally stopped, after the water went ALL over my suitemates' room and hardly touched my room. Well fuck, that's just great, how will I break the news to my suitemates. I left a note and went to class. Luckily when I got back they weren't too mad. I feel pretty bad, even though it's not really my fault.
On another note, today I was making pizza at my job. One of the chef's walked over to me, mind you he is an old, kind of fat man and probably the sweetest grandpa ever, he said to me, "you do that so lovingly." I just smiled and laughed, cause what do you say to that. So if you ever want a pizza mad with love call me up.
Tomorrow I have karate class. This class makes me so happy because the master is sweet AND because there is this really intense girl in my class. She get SO into everything she even knows every Korean word he ever said and what it means. When we have to count in Korean she screams it out so loud, it's hard not to laugh. She's terrible at every move though. The master had her demonstrate in front of the whole class. I can't even begin to explain what this girl looked like, I cannot replicate her super intense face, I wish so badly I had a video of it. When ever I think about it I laugh, which is probably why I'll go to hell. I'm sorry God, but it's just so funny! The master even had to hold his laughter. I can't wait for class tomorrow. It'll get me in a better mood.
How can I be on such a huge high and then it all falls down. It's like I can't be extremely happy for more than a day. I have to stay in the middle if I don't want to crash down. Whatever I need to suck it up and gain some confidence. I fucking am good enough.
Today I flooded my suite. I flushed the toilet and it just started over flowing. Not unusual, it's happened many times before, but then it wouldn't stop. It kept going so the water went beyond the stall door. I freaked out and thought maybe, for once this month, my RA would be in her room. I got lucky she had just got back, she was on the phone but I walked right up to her and said my toilet is flooding my suite. She told me to call police and safety, gave me the number and then left. Pretty sweet, considering I was on the verge of tears because all the stuff in my suite was going to be ruined by the water. I called police and safety about 6 times, they NEVER picked up, real safe! So I had to take on the water and figure out how the fuck to stop it. I played with this valve and it finally stopped, after the water went ALL over my suitemates' room and hardly touched my room. Well fuck, that's just great, how will I break the news to my suitemates. I left a note and went to class. Luckily when I got back they weren't too mad. I feel pretty bad, even though it's not really my fault.
On another note, today I was making pizza at my job. One of the chef's walked over to me, mind you he is an old, kind of fat man and probably the sweetest grandpa ever, he said to me, "you do that so lovingly." I just smiled and laughed, cause what do you say to that. So if you ever want a pizza mad with love call me up.
Tomorrow I have karate class. This class makes me so happy because the master is sweet AND because there is this really intense girl in my class. She get SO into everything she even knows every Korean word he ever said and what it means. When we have to count in Korean she screams it out so loud, it's hard not to laugh. She's terrible at every move though. The master had her demonstrate in front of the whole class. I can't even begin to explain what this girl looked like, I cannot replicate her super intense face, I wish so badly I had a video of it. When ever I think about it I laugh, which is probably why I'll go to hell. I'm sorry God, but it's just so funny! The master even had to hold his laughter. I can't wait for class tomorrow. It'll get me in a better mood.