(no subject)
I had the ignominious and yet hilarious experience yesterday of following a bicycle in my car. My 4pm student, a young Guatemalan guy named Jackson who I meet with individually because he's more advanced than my other students, had told me that he'd be moving late this week, and that on Tuesday he'd tell me where he was moving to. So I showed up on Tuesday at his "old" house with something wiggling in my gut that said that he would've already moved. Call it experience with the transient lives and changing homes of the poor.
I knew my wiggles were vindicated when I got to the appointed trailer and Jackson wasn't waiting for me on the stoop, but I went through the motions. The lady at the door, who I recognized to be the owner of the house, was very nice but very convinced that Jackson no longer lived with her, and she didn't know where he was living. I thought to myself, Well, I can handle looking like a creeper out here for maybe fifteen minutes. I'll firm up plans for the next class, and if nothing happens I'll leave. Jackson showed up in ten. On his bike, so he couldn't just hop in shotgun and direct me. Ohhhhh no, that wouldn't have been nearly embarrassing enough. But driving under the speed limit in a 5 mile an hour zone? Apparently that fed the universe's hatred of me enough, and it backed off.
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Speaking of things that advance more rapidly than perhaps they should...
My heart appears to have taken up permanent residence in my throat after one of the trailer park's many un-claimed dogs decided to start barking at me and advancing on me while I went out to my car in the dark tonight after class. First thing I thought when it happened? Was of the priest in Tijuana who said that he wouldn't relish the thought of walking around after dark not because he could get mugged but because gangs of dogs might eat him.
I've got a fairly low female voice, but I fucking screamed like a girl. A little girl. A little girl who had recently done helium. If I had screamed just a leeeetle higher I could've actually been productive by hurting the fucking dog's eardrums.
Now, my single male student came outside (after I'd ascertained that the damn dog just got his kicks by scaring the shit out of unassuming English teachers, rather than scaring and then mauling them), and I faced the pathetic task of explaining how, um, I got scared by a puppy? And in my frenzy I mistranslated "bite" as "kill." (Shuddup, they're really close.) That did not help. He kinda stared at me, and I got in my car real fast.
I locked the doors and started trying to breathe again through the shivering lump of heart blocking my esophagus. Premature, no good, pointless action. See, UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, the fight was not over! Ohhh no. There was surprise flanking action in the works. I drove my car around the side of the trailer park and out to the front row of trailers, which I would then have to drive across to get out. And what should come barreling out of my peripheral vision but my stealth ninja adversary AND HIS FRIEND, Suicidal Dog. Both running full tilt for me, both barking as loud as they fucking could. I swear to you, I will never again doubt that dogs smell fear, and love every second of it. Ninja Dog ran alongside me, waiting for his chance to strike, and his gruesome and aptly named buddy Suicidal Dog THREW himself in front of my right headlight, BEGGING me to hit him. Swear to God. They've got guerrilla war tactics down cold.
I think, but don't quote me on this, I think my adrenaline level might go down enough for me to sleep by midnight.
%%%
Obviously, however, I made it home safe. Thankfully, so have all my students thus far, even though ICE is coming around their park literally morning, noon, and night. I've still got my fingers crossed.
I knew my wiggles were vindicated when I got to the appointed trailer and Jackson wasn't waiting for me on the stoop, but I went through the motions. The lady at the door, who I recognized to be the owner of the house, was very nice but very convinced that Jackson no longer lived with her, and she didn't know where he was living. I thought to myself, Well, I can handle looking like a creeper out here for maybe fifteen minutes. I'll firm up plans for the next class, and if nothing happens I'll leave. Jackson showed up in ten. On his bike, so he couldn't just hop in shotgun and direct me. Ohhhhh no, that wouldn't have been nearly embarrassing enough. But driving under the speed limit in a 5 mile an hour zone? Apparently that fed the universe's hatred of me enough, and it backed off.
%%%
Speaking of things that advance more rapidly than perhaps they should...
My heart appears to have taken up permanent residence in my throat after one of the trailer park's many un-claimed dogs decided to start barking at me and advancing on me while I went out to my car in the dark tonight after class. First thing I thought when it happened? Was of the priest in Tijuana who said that he wouldn't relish the thought of walking around after dark not because he could get mugged but because gangs of dogs might eat him.
I've got a fairly low female voice, but I fucking screamed like a girl. A little girl. A little girl who had recently done helium. If I had screamed just a leeeetle higher I could've actually been productive by hurting the fucking dog's eardrums.
Now, my single male student came outside (after I'd ascertained that the damn dog just got his kicks by scaring the shit out of unassuming English teachers, rather than scaring and then mauling them), and I faced the pathetic task of explaining how, um, I got scared by a puppy? And in my frenzy I mistranslated "bite" as "kill." (Shuddup, they're really close.) That did not help. He kinda stared at me, and I got in my car real fast.
I locked the doors and started trying to breathe again through the shivering lump of heart blocking my esophagus. Premature, no good, pointless action. See, UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, the fight was not over! Ohhh no. There was surprise flanking action in the works. I drove my car around the side of the trailer park and out to the front row of trailers, which I would then have to drive across to get out. And what should come barreling out of my peripheral vision but my stealth ninja adversary AND HIS FRIEND, Suicidal Dog. Both running full tilt for me, both barking as loud as they fucking could. I swear to you, I will never again doubt that dogs smell fear, and love every second of it. Ninja Dog ran alongside me, waiting for his chance to strike, and his gruesome and aptly named buddy Suicidal Dog THREW himself in front of my right headlight, BEGGING me to hit him. Swear to God. They've got guerrilla war tactics down cold.
I think, but don't quote me on this, I think my adrenaline level might go down enough for me to sleep by midnight.
%%%
Obviously, however, I made it home safe. Thankfully, so have all my students thus far, even though ICE is coming around their park literally morning, noon, and night. I've still got my fingers crossed.