When women don't want kids (sort of Part 2)
I posted about being broken a couple days ago, i.e. I don't desire to have kids, and in a response to the lovely Rikke's thought-provoking comment I said it's basically my business whether or not I have kids, and (I'm a Christian) choosing not to have them at this point isn't because of sinful or selfish reasons
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I know I can't heal stupid
PREACH, DARLING
I'm an atheist - I have control issues like whoa and the thought of ceding control to a divine being is beyond me, but I can understand the want and the serenity of having the security of faith, and I envy it. A few months ago I was going through a really shitty period (my then crook of a doctor diagnosed me with depression without having spoken to me properly - my newly assigned psychiatrist disagreed), but getting through that (in large part to getting my current work position) was like a breath of fresh air, the first crisp Spring day, the first morning light after a long winter. I'm so happy you got through that.
I feel compelled to bring out one of my most charming books, one of the dearest thing I own, and it's called "God explained in taxi ride" and I don't believe in it, but I value it all the same. There is especially one page in the book that I've taken to heart:
"How can you have blind faith in something for which there is not a scrap of evidence ( ... )
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<3<3<3
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*HUGSQUISH* - both of you!
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I want to say - and this is nothing to do with anything except personal growth, that easy as it is for someone else to say 'why don't they just walk away' - it is damned hard to walk away from something self destructive, because you're caught in some kind of whirlpool sucking you into an abyss. It takes effort and strength. Sometimes it takes a while to build up that strength, to find it and the reality also is that sometimes people don't want to try, or can't for whatever reason.
But I'm glad I did. ... and hubby is ever so patient with me all the time.
Personal growth is about the bumps we hit on the road, or the trucks that hit us - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and makes us into the incredible people we are all today. ... and Yes you two are amazing, all the time. I love you both a lot! *HUGS*
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man, i'm so glad you mentioned this:
...damned hard to walk away from something self destructive, because you're caught in some kind of whirlpool sucking you into an abyss.
YES. i remember day after day i'd wake up wondering if this was it, if this was the day i'd be happy again, and i'd just be so sick that it wasn't.
you are amazing and i love you and hugs and i love you i think i said that already gah. love you.
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because he works in the entertainment industry and being pretty is part of his job! :D
because Johnny & Associates spends a lot of money on their tarentos' dental care!
yeah i think that's why. hahahahahaha
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YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS THIIIIIIIIIIS THIS SO HARD. lol. for me it was retrospective; i had to think about it before i went OH HEY HELLO FINE SELF.
man, i'm really glad you got through that as well. hugs.
thank you for sharing another bit about yourself with me! i'm in awe that we're having this conversation, it's amazing, i mean we met through ohmiya fanfiction, you know? HAHA. it's blowing my mind, it really is, i'm so humbled and thankful.
God explained in a taxi ride! i'll have to google it. sounds fascinating. thank you for the recommendation.
about faith, yes, everything you quoted. in fact, the quote you have up there reminds me of Hebrews 11:1, one of my favourite verses in the Bible:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.i think faith is beautiful too ( ... )
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