(no subject)
I'm terrified of becoming that crazy girlfriend. When I was dating Jon Megan, it was something that deeply impaired our relationship. He was crazy or unstable and was consistently being placed in crisis overnight programs or whatnot. He'd call me from Nancy Page telling me what fucked up situation he had gotten himself into this last time. I hated these phone calls, maybe because he seemed to enjoy the fact that he was in crisis support again. Granted, he had Asperger's and was legitimately insane. But then, there was freshman year of high school when I was dating Michael and we broke up "mutually" because he was calling me crazy behind my back and talking about how he can't handle crazy girls. Both of those situations were extreme but they happened. I don't want to be the insane girlfriend anymore! One thing that I used to say to Benny repeatedly was how he met me at just the right time because I was stable and healthy and not too crazy to scare him away.
I need to know- What happened to that girl?? I want her back! Supposedly, the winter is supposed to be the hardest form e and it was so awesome that I got through November without going into psychiatric hospitalization. It was a big deal, given that years past November had always seen me in the hospital. I don't want to go to the hospital. I really don't. I feel like I can't handle the hospital. As an adolescent it's almost normal to be fucked up, but as an adult, its an intense character flaw, something wrong with you as a person- not your environment or stress or parents.
What happened to happy, functioning, stable Veronica? Seriously. I could lose relationships due to this "phase" in my life and I'm ready for the new phase now. Now. Not tomorrow. Get well now, not soon. Soon is too far from now.
I need to know- What happened to that girl?? I want her back! Supposedly, the winter is supposed to be the hardest form e and it was so awesome that I got through November without going into psychiatric hospitalization. It was a big deal, given that years past November had always seen me in the hospital. I don't want to go to the hospital. I really don't. I feel like I can't handle the hospital. As an adolescent it's almost normal to be fucked up, but as an adult, its an intense character flaw, something wrong with you as a person- not your environment or stress or parents.
What happened to happy, functioning, stable Veronica? Seriously. I could lose relationships due to this "phase" in my life and I'm ready for the new phase now. Now. Not tomorrow. Get well now, not soon. Soon is too far from now.