Sup People?!
Been a long time since I've said anything on here, so...howdy?!
I got a notification from LJ saying it was a friend's birthday, which was kind of surprising because I haven't gotten anything from LJ in forever! So, hopped on and started poking around. I think it's funny that my last post was about my experience running a con, because since then a lot has gone down!
After that year, I told my colleagues that I was taking a step back from being officially on staff, but that I'd still do panels and events and such. So the following year I focused on just my panels and events, and had a really good time. I did 7 events over the whole weekend, so I was still nice and busy with prepping and running them, but it was good to focus on the things I was more passionate about. More people came on staff to take over the spots I had left open, and it seemed like things were going pretty well. There was a slight concern that the people running the con now weren't being as open as we'd originally talked about when forming the convention, but I figured those guys were still figuring themselves out. So, after that year, I felt recharged and was eager to get back on staff to help craft an even more immersive convention experience, with a large fursuit competition that would span the entire weekend. I was really excited about these new ideas. The only problem was the people who I left in charge didn't seem to want to hear my ideas, or even let me back on official staff. As the months following the convention pressed on, I became more and more frustrated as I tried talking with my husband and the con chair about getting involved again, and they kept coming back to me saying the board still didn't want to hear from me. Also, the locals were feeling rather shut out as well, and they kept coming to me to try and get things through to the board (I always tried to be open and available to answer their questions and receive their input). But the sad part was, as the con board started making drastic changes to the venue and the name of the con, it became apparent that they were actively shutting me out of anything involving the con. Random furries contacted me on social media, wanting to voice their concerns about the direction the con had taken, and they had way more information than I did about what was happening behind the scenes. I may be paranoid, but it really felt like the folks I left in charge were specifically pushing me out more and more. I forget what they did that finally made me snap, but after being ignored and shut out of the convention that I did a lot to bring to life (a lot of time, a lot of money, and a lot of energy), I finally said screw it and wiped my hands clean of what they were doing. And spent the year sitting back and watching as they drove the con into the ground because the board was so secretive and unwilling to listen to the locals. I mean, how are people supposed to feel when the new name for a con has the acronym of "FU." It was more poignant than anything else they could have said. So, yeah, the con lasted one year without my involvement; and the people who pushed so many out, who blamed decreased interest in the con on everyone underneath them, closed up shop because they felt they were "not getting enough support from the fandom."
It's sad to see something that you worked so hard to create, wither and perish because those you left in charge started using it as a way to boost their egos. And in the end, the friends I had been so close with that I started a convention with them, all drifted away and wouldn't accept the multiple olive branches I tried extending. It just sucks feeling like you wasted all this time and energy on people who ultimately don't care about you, or at least care more about being bitter and angry and holding onto every mistake you made in the past.
Sometimes, you just gotta let things go. *breathes in deeply, and lets it out slowly*
-Barnaby