Looking back on the years...
... it is quite evident that I was completely out of sorts. I knew I was out of line, but I could never control it. I also never knew why I did the things I did, why I felt the way I felt, why I was... so wretched.
Evidence has been made clear to me in recent years pointing to an answer. With an answer... it is much easier and more bearable living with the disease that infests my mind. With an answer as to why... I have finally been able to mend, to fix that which was broken. Cracks still exist, but the shape has taken form for the first time in... well, I can't say a time because I cannot remember so far back. The healing process had long since begun and now I can say with absolute certainty that I have control over that which completely controlled me a decade ago. This is the new chapter of my life, one that I am determined to keep under my thumb so that I will never fall victim to the disorder that has plagued me for so long. I control you, now. I control myself.
Evidence has been made clear to me in recent years pointing to an answer. With an answer... it is much easier and more bearable living with the disease that infests my mind. With an answer as to why... I have finally been able to mend, to fix that which was broken. Cracks still exist, but the shape has taken form for the first time in... well, I can't say a time because I cannot remember so far back. The healing process had long since begun and now I can say with absolute certainty that I have control over that which completely controlled me a decade ago. This is the new chapter of my life, one that I am determined to keep under my thumb so that I will never fall victim to the disorder that has plagued me for so long. I control you, now. I control myself.