im not shure
we went tosix flags for jennifers birthday last monday, id forgoten how wonderufl it was to get out with a group of freinds. i think i laughd more that day than i have in awhile. i dnt t hink id realy noticed it but i think this summer ive been doing everything i could not to get reatachd to a group of friends, im not realy shure how, but somehow along the way last year i lost all the friends i belived to be so special and close tha we would never part. i just kept reminding myself that id soon be back in the comfort of scad with all the falling stars lol. but i ralised that day how much i was gona miss them, exspecialy jennifer, who has somehow never lost the inocence that we all seem to forget. ill miss how much love she always had for everyone, a love that could never run out, and even the people who everyone else couldnt stand, she wuld make an effort to make them feel comfortable. ill mmiss how much she always tried to make shure her friends were happy, and howmuch she apreciated each gift she recived, nomatter how small.
i had been looking foreward to seeing lauryn again, but she ended up not coming. :-(
i never realy got to knwo luke nd carrie very well till this year, but i think one memory that wil stick withme nxt year will be swimming in circles in carries pool at night, makeng a current so stong it was hard to walk against, as we all rambled about anything and everything and at the same time nothing lol. pointless ramble is always teh best kind.
i found out yesterday that kenny is at the rising star prrogram now, it made me so happy. eventho we never speak anymore and i know he will probobly never want to speek to me again, i still pray about him. ever since id known him i knew there was somehtng special about him, he had matured in a way most peole never have to. but he always belived hed never amount to anything, i was so glad to hear that he was doing something with his art. i wanted to im him yesteday and tell him that i was happy for him being there. but i ddecided it would probobly be a bad idea.
last night while me and rj were holding each other i sudenly felt sad, we were talking about the dreams you wake up rom, relived that they rnt real, and i was thinking about the drems i get when he dies or leaves, and how upset ill wake up being til i realise it wasnt real, i can honestly say that if there is one thng i fear its loosinghim. he has doesn more for me than i can ever express in this journal. he chased them away for good. and made me feel like i was sane and complete. i no longer need the jolt of a razor to make me feel better.
all the wories i had about the coming year have disaperd aswell. i was still scard that the distane would be to hard for us to stay together. and for the few that still have not heard how wondeful my baby is lol, to ease that wory he got me a diamond promis ring. we also foun out that the chain of hotels his dad helps run is putting a hotel in savannah! so now rj will have a place to stay when he visits, since i dnt think non family members can stay in the dorms.
i havnt writen a real journal entry in awhile lol, but im shure it wont bbe the last '
<3
sarah
i had been looking foreward to seeing lauryn again, but she ended up not coming. :-(
i never realy got to knwo luke nd carrie very well till this year, but i think one memory that wil stick withme nxt year will be swimming in circles in carries pool at night, makeng a current so stong it was hard to walk against, as we all rambled about anything and everything and at the same time nothing lol. pointless ramble is always teh best kind.
i found out yesterday that kenny is at the rising star prrogram now, it made me so happy. eventho we never speak anymore and i know he will probobly never want to speek to me again, i still pray about him. ever since id known him i knew there was somehtng special about him, he had matured in a way most peole never have to. but he always belived hed never amount to anything, i was so glad to hear that he was doing something with his art. i wanted to im him yesteday and tell him that i was happy for him being there. but i ddecided it would probobly be a bad idea.
last night while me and rj were holding each other i sudenly felt sad, we were talking about the dreams you wake up rom, relived that they rnt real, and i was thinking about the drems i get when he dies or leaves, and how upset ill wake up being til i realise it wasnt real, i can honestly say that if there is one thng i fear its loosinghim. he has doesn more for me than i can ever express in this journal. he chased them away for good. and made me feel like i was sane and complete. i no longer need the jolt of a razor to make me feel better.
all the wories i had about the coming year have disaperd aswell. i was still scard that the distane would be to hard for us to stay together. and for the few that still have not heard how wondeful my baby is lol, to ease that wory he got me a diamond promis ring. we also foun out that the chain of hotels his dad helps run is putting a hotel in savannah! so now rj will have a place to stay when he visits, since i dnt think non family members can stay in the dorms.
i havnt writen a real journal entry in awhile lol, but im shure it wont bbe the last '
<3
sarah