The Door to Darkness - Book 1: Hiromi - Chapter 2 & Chapter 3
So where are we? Oh right, Sue mother was worried that Ansem the Wise’s experiment would cause something bad to happen, however since the author is more interested in adjectives than story we have no idea what this experiment is! If you’ve played the games you may have a vague idea as to what it is, but seriously from this fic alone I only know they spend more on candles and door knobs then they probably spend on food…
By the way some “juicy” (a.k.a batshit insane) Gethsemane quotes (sporked of course) can be found here; courtesy of the wonderful astute zelda_queen !
And I knew what astute meant without the help of a thesaurus, aren’t I smart!
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The Door to Darkness 1-2
by ~gethsemane-butler
Mikey: Voted #7 on the ‘names to run away from in fan fiction‘.
Book I: Hiromi
Chapter II
Hiromi entered the large library after breaking her fast,
Mikey: Wha- what! Breaking her fast - what the fuck! I hate to destroy your fantasy of genius but you don’t sound smart, you sound like a moron! No one talks that way; not in real life and not in the game - well unless they are a faux intellectual who thinks it sounds smarter to use archaic phrases to say simple things - oh right; I forgot, please do continue.
with Mai in her arms, and settled herself before the large window;
Mikey: She then threw the baby out of it. She didn’t want it replacing her later.
she did not choose a book from one of the many shelves, as she had no desire to read.
Mikey: Which is good, because outside of cheap pretentious romance novel nothing would suit her tastes.
She instead allowed her mind to wander where it would,
Mikey: Most likely back to the topic that most matters to her - herself…
hoping to find some sort of respite from the concern with which she had been afflicted since her husband and his apprentices began their project.
Mikey: I feel so~ bad for you. [Checks his watch] Do something interesting already!
Ansem was by no means a stupid man,
Mikey: Gee, an here I thought the whole “the Wise” thing was supposed to be ironic.
though at times Hiromi considered him to be ignorant.
Mikey: Of course that means he is. The sue told us she thinks this so it must be true!
It was this ignorance that he wished to surmount, and he had become quite absorbed in the studies.
Mikey: Studying = Bad, Sue Sex = Good!
They had begun before Mai was born, and had not stopped for more than a single night at a time.
Mikey: Can you repeat that in proper English? Are you saying that he has worked for over three-hundred days without sleep? Damn the man lucky to be alive (well he is married to a sue, so maybe lucks the wrong word).
The work was beginning to take its toll on Ansem;
Mikey: Only just beginning to? Also; as I mentioned in the last chapter, where is the Disney part of this. I admit I’m not the biggest fan, but wasn’t Ansem the Wise a friend of Mickey Mouse?
Hiromi witnessed the exhaustion in his eyes as he sat with her at the table in the dining hall. He barely spoke, but was instead absorbed in his own thoughts.
Mikey: Maybe he’s just not that fond of you; I know we aren’t.
Once he had finished, he rose, took a moment to gently run his hand over his daughter's tiny head, and then exited with a reverent nod to Hiromi.
Mikey: Yeah; he doesn’t like you. In fact he’s my favorite character in this. He really is wise!
(Ansem’s thoughts): Eat and run before I’m forced to have sex with her!
Such had been his customary behavior since these studies began. It was as if they were slowly beginning to consume him.
Mikey: Or his studies just made him realize you where a sue. Either way he’s smart enough to get his ass away from you as soon as possible. You wanna know something though~ I’m amazed that it’s already chapter 2 and nothing has happened that hasn’t already happened. She said and or implied all this in the last chapter!
And this was what frightened her most, the thought of perhaps, once he had gone too far, it would be impossible to return.
Mikey: Did you take the same writing class as Sono Asahina and Yoyo Yuki [shiver]; or is it just a bad fanfic writer thing that you find it necessary to say the same damn thing over and over. I feel like I’m re-reading chapter one again!
Mai began to fret in her arms,
Mikey (as Mai): Give me attention!
and Hiromi glanced down, attempting to quiet her with soft coos and caresses. Even that did not quiet her.
Mikey (as Hiromi): No, I’m the sue right now! Anyway back to explain why am so much wiser than Ansem the Wise!
Actually in my opinion she’s being paranoid. I mean I know she’s right, but she hasn’t explained why she feels this way! I mean, yeah she said it was the unknown, but she hasn’t said anything about why it scares her. What does she think will happen?
We get all kinds of stupid details, but nothing of substance from her!
We’re supposed to be “oh she’s so wise because she knows what will happen” but she doesn’t know what will happen; it’s like she’s just bitching because he husband is busy at work and nothing more. She’s not trying to figure out if it’s dangerous or trying to prove it is to her husband, she just sits back and tells us about how she feels it will be dangerous…
Hiromi looked up upon hearing the library door open. Madako entered and bowed deeply.
Mikey: When did she get into the library? Does she just randomly teleport from room to room? I mean she was eating breakfast a minute ago…
"Mistress," she said, "you have a visitor."
Mikey: Once again; it kind of sound like Hiromi is some kind of tyrant. I don‘t know why, she just comes off like that.”
"Send him in, please, Madako."
Mikey: Please let it be an assassin; I‘m desperate for SOMETHING to happen! This is so tedious and boring. [cries]
The older woman bowed again, removed herself from the library, and returned a moment later.
Mikey: I keep imagining this lady throwing herself to the floor and groveling like this is the King and I. Anyway remember how I mentioned Disney? Well guess what!
"Master Merlin, my lady," she said reverently.
Mikey: Let’s see how the sue can screw this one up! And once again - nice thesaurus!
Hiromi smiled and nodded dismissively,
Mikey: Oh, - no you did-not just act dismissively to Merlin’s arrival you pompous little bitch! Merlin may have been goofy in Disney’s The Sword in the Stone, but you never disrespect the man. He’s freakin’ Merlin, he could whoop your petty tyrant ass in five seconds with magic - even unintentionally. I hope he turns you into a freaking mouse ya’ bitch!
and Madako once again left.
Mikey: Most likely to join the other freedom fighters in their plan to kill her. I bet Merlin’s in on it…
In her place appeared an elderly man, with a long, grey beard and spectacles, dressed in the blue robes of a sorcerer with a blue hat atop his head.
Mikey: That was a pretty accurate description of the man and given the writer penchant for needless words. Sadly she probably only typed it out that way because she didn‘t think he was interesting (and by that I mean attractive) enough to be described in a better way.
"Welcome, Merlin," said Hiromi as she rose.
Mikey (as Hiromi): Is it time for you to kiss my sue ass already?
I was wondering when she would make the other canon characters do that.
Mai had still not quieted completely; her frets were now little whimpers, and Merlin smiled as he approached the lady, taking the baby gently from her. Mai soothed beneath his caresses, and Hiromi only watched as he handed her the child again.
Mikey: Why the hell does this exist? He takes the baby and it calms down then he hands it back. What do we take from this? Hiromi is a terrible mother and the sue baby is desperate to be rid of her? Perhaps two sues competing for the role of main character just become compelled to kill each other over time.
"Such a lovely daughter you have," he said. "The last I saw of her, she was only a tiny little thing."
Mikey: She still is! She’s like one!
Mai had been born prematurely,
Mikey: Not that there where any real health complications. This is just a source of needless drama. Except it’s back-story so we know it’s meaningless because she‘s fine in the here and now thus it has no dramatic impact.
and, in her early weeks, Hiromi and Ansem feared she would not live to see her first birthday,
Mikey: The audience is of course depressed because she did.
for she had been quite weak and small.
Mikey: Which was; once again, implied by the whole being premature thing.
Miraculously, however, Mai began to slowly grow stronger and gain weight until she was of normal size for her age.
Mikey: Of course. What a miracle that a city with a super computer; you know the one that has the world based off Tron in it (seriously), and is also a town filled with magical people and genius inventors could somehow keep a premature baby alive. Mai sure is unique…
"I thank you," returned Hiromi. "Please, come with me into my apartments. It can get quite drafty here in the library."
Mikey: Will you be walking or will you just teleport there? Perhaps your servants will carry you there instead?
Merlin followed her from the library and down the corridor until they reached a large door at the end of it, which Hiromi took a moment to open, revealing a large drawing room richly furnished with plush chairs, sofas, carpets, and tables. The room was illuminated by two large windows on either side of the great stone hearth, in which a fire was cheerily crackling.
Mikey: And we return to the flowery writing that has sustained 90% of her word count. Seriously the library gets no description; hell I don’t even know if she mentioned entering it - it just went food to library like that! The room for talking in on the other hand, that gets a whole paragraph even though it will probably never come up again.
Now I know you could say that it was probably because it was supposed to be the library from the first game that Belle hangs out in when she’s trapped in Hallow Bastion (as it’s called in the first game), but let’s be honest - she was just being lazy and threw the lady in a library to try to make her look educated.
"Shall I send for refreshments?" asked Hiromi as she motioned towards the chairs before the fireplace.
Mikey (as Hiromi): Or shall I just whip some of my slaves for pleasure? Where did you think Disney placed the cast of the animated parts of Song of the South in this series?
Merlin sat down slowly and replied gravely, "No, thank you, my lady."
Mikey: He probably doesn’t like seeing them twitch upon the sight of their twisted despot.
Hiromi sat before him then, and Mai sat upright in her lap, reaching towards Merlin.
Mikey: Merlin run! There is still time to save your character. Run and never look back!
Hiromi set the child down, and she slowly began to walk towards him. She was still slightly unsteady, as she had only recently learned to walk, but she looked up at her mother proudly upon reaching her destination. Hiromi smiled and applauded her, praising her for her little feat, and Merlin retrieved her, settling her in his lap. Mai babbled happily to herself.
Mikey: I’m beginning to hate babies; at least the ones in her fanfics. Gah; it’s just like Haunted. (fear not; it leads to a spork!)
"May I inquire as to the honor of your visit?" asked Hiromi.
Mikey (as Merlin): Yeah; we wanna know why you talk like that. Everyone in town thinks your crazy, but I just think your making up for a lack of intellect.
"My reason for visiting, Hiromi, is a grave one indeed."
Mikey: You see, Merlin is supposed to be a goofy guy; so him talking like this is alright on my part. It’s supposed to mark him as whimsical and a large ham.
On the other hand, that isn’t why he’s talking like this; hell it‘s not even done in a whimsical over the top way. (Well anymore than anyone else in this shit fanfic)
He’s talking like this because Gethsemane believes this is how intelligent people are supposed to talk; or to be more precise, supposed to write. This has the effect of making almost everyone in her fanfics sound pretentious…
I pray she doesn’t include Winnie the Pooh in any of this.
Hiromi stared at him. "How grave?"
Mikey: Your grave preferably…
"Quite so. It concerns your husband...and your daughter."
Mikey: Because if a sue isn’t involved then where ever would the story go?
Hiromi unknowingly gripped the arms of her chair as her heart skipped a beat. "What is it?"
Mikey: Oh please, like you don’t know!
"My Lady, these experiments that Master Ansem is performing...they are not safe. I fear that they will bring only destruction to this world."
Mikey: Gee, thus marking the sue concerns correct. Who would have ever guessed!?
Hiromi remained silent, but stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He did so.
Um, what was the point of this statement; can you not go five minutes without mentioning your sues? -Ya know what…
[the Aria from Final Fantasy VI plays]
Mikey:
O my hero, my beloved,
Shall we still be made to part,
Though promises of perennial love
Yet sing here in my heart?
I'm the darkness, you're the starlight
Shining brightly from afar.
Through hours of despair, I offer this prayer
To you, my evening star.
Must my final vows exchanged
Be with him and not with you?
Were you only here to quiet my fear...
O speak! Guide me anew.
[music stops]
You may ask yourself “what the point of that“ and “what did it add to the spork?“
The answer is : nothing...
If she’s not gonna try to make anything relevant then why should I?
"What he is studying is darkness, and experimentation with such an element is quite dangerous. It could disrupt the harmony of this world and ultimately destroy it. He must cease these studies at once."
Mikey: Why are you telling her this, she obviously knows that! For one, she said so. For another, she’s a sue. There is nothing she doesn’t know - unless the plot (for lack of a better term) decided she needs to discover something for the sake of "drama"!
"I have told him that it is quite dangerous, and that I feared for him because of it," returned Hiromi,
Mikey: Of course you did, you’re a sue. You know better than everyone and of course you figured all of this out faster than Merlin!
"yet he always discounts it as the human fear of the unknown. I fear that he will slowly be consumed by his work."
Mikey: He discounts it as such because that is the only argument you have given him! You’ve put zero effort into stopping him, but act like a victim of his arrogance and fool hardiness! Here’s a hint : DO SOMETHING BESIDE CLAIM YOU FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG! We don’t feel bad for you…
"The work is not all he will be consumed with," said Merlin softly. "For those who toy with the darkness ultimately find themselves as mindless puppets, doing only what the darkness tells them to do, relying on little more than instinct."
Mikey: Um how can they be a tool for darkness AND rely on instinct? I know the series has always been a little iffy, but it was my impression that most (true) Heartless are running mostly on only instinct with no real conductor. The more intelligent ones are only evil because they are obsessed with something.
Well some people gain the power to control the heartless; they ultimately break free once their hunger grows to strong. And honestly they aren’t very smart creatures - Hell, Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas almost got them to stage dance numbers for him before Oogie Boogie screwed everything up.
In fact it seems as if Darkness is only evil because an over whelming large number of villains use it and it is mostly apathetic to things…
More people should use Darkness to stage elaborate dance numbers; we can all learn a thing or two from the Pumpkin King…
All hint of color drained from Hiromi's face.
Mikey: I know it did from mine...
"How is it you know this?"
"Because I have witnessed it. I cannot explain it, nor do I know what happens to the person as he or she is overtaken by darkness, whether willingly or not.
Mikey: Well as far as I can tell they become a heartless; which seem to run on instinct. Their body becomes a nobody; which have no emotions and run on the desire to try to imitate the emotions they can still remember once possessing. All well seeking their original hearts; or some shit like that - the second game was weird. I guess that wasn’t a question.
I know only the result, and it is quite a disastrous one, both for the unfortunate soul who submitted to the darkness and those around him."
Mikey: Wait, what!? You just said you don’t know what happens and then afterwards said with slightly different phrasing that you do know what happens to them! I hate you!
His eyes immediately fell to Mai,
[whistles innocently]
who looked up at him with a grin. He sighed.
Mikey (as Merlin): What am I doing here!? I have a small boy to harass with a series of random yet amusing adventures until he pulls a sword out of a stone and becomes king.
"Hiromi, I have known you since you were but a child yourself," he said to her, looking up at her. "And I knew then, even as I do now, that you would have a hand in either the salvation or destruction of this realm."
Mikey: [Aghast] You’re not trying to have Merlin build your damn sue up! Y-you sick - you - your - blah! You have done nothing to show this! You’ve done nothing to prove you are capable of anything! And now you have MERLIN telling us you will either save or destroy the world as you know it! You - you self important bitch - I - I [cries] I hate you!
"Me?" gasped Hiromi. "How could I possibly have such a destiny?"
Mikey: Yeah, how? She’s a tyrant, completely self absorbed, and lazy to boot. Please explain…
"That is something I must not tell you. But your daughter also has a part to play in the fate of this world.
Mikey: Of course she does…
One day, when all is known and revealed, perhaps the right choice will be made. Do not mistake me; there will be many trials in the journey ahead. The quest is a perilous one, Hiromi; you must accept it, or Destiny will drag you unwillingly. I have sought all I could from the stars, and this is all they reveal to me. I could seek no more than what I am allowed; even sorcerers have rules they must obey."
Mikey: Stop! You’re not going to explain, we are just supposed to assume she is the magical messiah who will save us all! Sora, Kairi, hell even Riku are just bit players in this women and her daughters greater destiny!
And what kind of bullshit excuse is the even sorcerers have rules they must obey. I mean I’m sure its’ true, but it comes of as you saying. “She’s unique and special - take our word for it!”
"And what of Ansem?"
Mikey: Who? Oh him, I guess I forgot about him because I was to busy hating you.
Merlin shook his head. "I do not know."
Mikey: He wasn’t a sue so his life was much harder to read.
"Surely, you must!"
Mikey: No, and don’t call him Shirley. (How could I resist?)
"I do beg your pardon, Hiromi, but I do not. I have attempted time and time again to discover his part in this world's fate. His name is shrouded in mist. That is all I can tell you, for I know nothing more."
Mikey: Redundancy is a big theme in your writing; isn’t it.
Hiromi remained silent for many moments, her head bowed in what seemed to be some sort of meditation.
Mikey: In reality the poison she was given earlier today during breakfast was taking effect; down with the despot!
At length, she whispered, "You said the salvation or destruction of this world. Which is it?"
Mikey: Who gives a shit, your daughter is the main sue here. Her life is destined to be perfect. You on the other hand - will probably die…
"That is yet to be seen," Merlin replied. "It is all in the future, and I dare not read further into it than I must."
Mikey: Because he already knows everything ahead will be as mind numbingly bad as what he has seen already.
"What of Mai?"
Mikey (as Merlin): She will grow up to have purple hair and eyes, wield two key blades, and date one of the many pretty boys available in this game.
"She has many trials before her. But yet I know that she has the strength enough to endure them."
Mikey: Mostly because the plot will pull shit out of it’s ass to ensure her successes; all without her ever facing any real challenge or drama. However she will angst a lot!
Wow, I can see the future too!
---
Mikey: I kinda wanna finish that Aria now-
[the aria continues]
I am thankful, my beloved,
For your tenderness and grace.
I see in your eyes, so gentle and wise,
All doubts and fears erased!
Though the hours take no notice
Of what fate might have in store,
Our love, come what may, will never age a day.
I'll wait forevermore!
Remember Final Fantasy VI is the property of SquareEnix just like Kingdom Hearts.
Sigh, now I guess I gotta finish the next part of this…
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The Door to Darkness 1-3
by ~gethsemane-butler
Book I: Hiromi
Chapter III
Hiromi stared at Merlin for several silent moments, her mind frantically trying to grasp the concepts of what he had revealed to her. It frightened her that her world was destined for destruction should the wrong choice be made, but it was surreal that she had a hand in its salvation...as well as its destruction. But her daughter...perhaps Mai had a much larger role than Hiromi did. In any case, this was all quite shocking, and it took her several moments to gain her composure.
Mikey: [crying] So much redundancy!
Although I feel it’s nice of her to warn us her daughter will be a bigger sue than her. Also with all the ‘moments’ passing I imagine they’ve been there for the whole day at the very least…
When at length she did so, she asked carefully, "What is it you mean by trials? Will Mai have to endure more than I?"
Mikey: Endure more than I? You haven’t done anything yet! Prissy little bitch!
Merlin did not answer her as frankly as he had moments previous, but answered, "She has trials ahead of her, some of them very arduous to surmount. If nothing else, she must fiercely guard her heart, for I have seen in the stars one who will surely prey upon it."
Mikey: More “big words” from her thesaurus to your eyes.
"Do the stars reveal to you who it is?"
Mikey: Probably not…
He shook his head. "I am afraid not, my lady. I do not know his name; that was not revealed to me. But he is one to be wary of."
Mikey: The stars are awfully useless aren’t they! They make Winnie the Pooh seem like a Rhodes Scholar.
"When is he to come, if he is to come at all?"
Mikey: He just said that he would be coming so stop the whole “raise my words count” crap!
"The distant future. As is another, but he remains an enigma to me. Both will struggle for possession of Mai's heart, each hoping to use it to his own purpose."
Mikey: So she’s only one and she already has two dudes biding for her heart.
GAH~!
Hiromi glanced at the girl, who had fallen asleep in Merlin's lap.
Mikey: Awwww, like mommy like child!
"Is there any way that I can...protect her?"
Mikey: I don’t like that pause, it makes me think she was originally gonna say something much different.
Merlin shook his head. "You may do what you see fit, but in the end, we are all servants of Fate. We must do as it decrees, for it always emerges victorious against us, whether good or bad."
Mikey: Hmmm, I seem to remember something like that being defied in Kingdom Hearts with the whole Sora and Riku thing during the first game. Then again I’m not 100% sure, still I have always hated the concept of “fate”. Of course Sues can gleefully embrace fate as it tends to hand them nice things anyway...
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Late in the evening, when twilight had at last fallen over the realm,
Mikey: Bringing with it Stalker Vampires and Pedophile Werewolves; although neither would be Mai’s love interests!
bringing with it the promised storm, Hiromi sat with her husband in the library.
Mikey: I just want to interject that I noticed that you did enter the library; although only after I wrote about your seeming to teleport from room to room, but due to the half-assed way you wrote it I hadn’t noticed at the time when I wrote those jokes. I am going to leave those jokes to see if anyone else makes the same mistake as I did.
Was it really so difficult to move the sentence about being in the library to after the scene with you “breaking fast” instead of pointlessly making that a flashback. I mean really, must your story jump from place to place with no coherency what so ever!
Also for a man so engrossed in his research he sure seems to have time to just sit around with you.
He would soon be retiring for the night, she knew, but she did not know if she could ever hope to sleep.
Mikey: Just to recap: He is the one at risk of being consumed by the darkness and you expect us to feel bad because you are some vague chosen one?
Even Mai,
[Knife flies by Mikey’s face]
0.0’
And I think I'll be stopping that joke now…
who could not possibly understand what it was she would face, had found peace enough to sleep.
Mikey: Well duh! She was to young to know of the stupidity that lies ahead. That statement was so stupid it actually managed to hurt me. Are you implying that she is so wise at only one that she should be able to notice something being wrong?
She did not tell Ansem of what had been said during her counsel with Merlin, but he had sensed that she was not herself.
Mikey: Why? Did she not smell of fresh baked cookies when she entered their ‘domicile’; that fair time of day in which she had chosen to make her entrance, as she normally did? Or maybe it the fact that she wasn’t using her servants as footstools like she usually did?
"Hiromi," he said to her, "you have been very quiet as of late."
Mike (as Ansem): I like it, keep that up!
And still, you expect me to believe this is a man on the edge of darkness?
"Have I?" she returned absently. "I've not noticed."
Mikey: Proving she is to boring; even for herself to pay attention.
"What is bothering you?" he asked her.
Mikey (as Ansem): And promise me it’s not something stupid like you’re a chosen one or something.
"It is nothing."
"Surely it must be. You've barely eaten since this morning. You've not spoken a word, not even to Madako. You seem so solemn."
Mikey: How the fuck does he know this!? According to sue he has been aloof for over a year, yet he somehow knows everything she is up to! He’s either the most attentive busy husband ever, he’s got someone spying on her, or Gethsemane just pulls she out of her ass as she feels that it should be.
You wanna know what I think - I think Ansem’s just not making enough time for sex. I think Gethsemane’s idea of a attentive husband it one who is ready and willing to let her jump his bone 24/7 and if they aren’t then they are being neglectful towards her. Seriously, I honestly believe that is it.
She goes on and on about how inattentive he has been, but his actions suggest he always tries his best to make time for her and their sue daughter’s emotional needs, but Gethsemane only gives a shit about sex - so if he isn’t giving her that every night then he’s being aloof.
"I have..." her voice trailed as words failed her.
Mikey (as Ansem): Good, go to bed.
She felt powerless to confess to him what she had been told. Merlin was a very wise man and sorcerer, even wiser than her own husband.
Mikey: Sure; Merlin turns little boys into fish, squirrels, and such for fun then dumps entire kingdoms one them, but he’s wise - just not as wise as our sue here.
She respected him as such, and she knew that he had told her only out of concern for her welfare.
Mikey: The fact that he can’t see into Ansem’s future at all should have been a more important issue considering he’s their ruler and all, but since the sue is more important than the beloved king of their world we should just ignore that.
Though he had given her all the information that he was allowed to give, as much as his own Mysteries ordained, she felt still that he was concealing something from her.
Mikey: Yes, he’s part of the resistance and personally behind the plot to kill her...
He had alluded to two enigmatic men, and who they were he had said he did not know. Supposing, however, that he did know...
Mikey: Have you ever seen the original cut of the Thief and the Cobbler? The one with all the annoying voice over work for the main characters? This is the fanfic version of that…
No. He would never conceal such things from me, much less if it involved Mai, she berated herself inwardly.
Mikey: Because a goofy wizard would never have something to hide - well except for the (hopeful) plans he has for killing you.
"What is it?" Ansem pressed gently.
Mikey: You know what’s sickening - this whole thing is just so the Wise Ansem can prod her for info so she can show how important she is - I hate her…
She at length saw little option but to tell him of Merlin's visit.
Mikey: Anyone notice how often she uses the term at length? I don’t even think she’s used it right most of the time - she just seems to like using it.
Also he’s the king; shouldn’t he already know that Merlin was at the castle?
This she did so, along with the information he relayed to her, and when she had finished, Ansem sat for many moments in meditation,
Mikey: With all the moments that pass your daughter should be in her twenties by now!
just as she had done. At length, however, he looked up at her, his face expressionless.
Mikey: He’s self aware of this being a fanfic, no really - I believe this. I think he’s struggling to have as little attachment to Gethsemane’s version of reality as possible and that’s the real reason nothing she says gets through to the guy; he only occasionally fakes affection in order to throw her off his trail well he does everything in his power to get away from her.
Truly he is Ansem the Wise.
"I have the utmost respect for Merlin and his wisdom," he said softly. "You know that very well. But, from what I have been told, astrology is not so accurate as some claim it to be."
Mikey: I personally agree - astrology is bogus, but whatever - sue what is your opinion; you know, because it’s the only one that matters.
"But how could you possibly dismiss it as a simple mistake, even as our own world hangs in the balance?"
Mikey: This is yet another case of Gethsemane telling without showing which you may have noticed she does often. She keeps saying the world is in danger without giving us an example of how! Instead of making her seem wise; it makes her seem dangerously paranoid!
She is now consulting the stars for answers like every other nutball who thinks the world is coming to an end! And the worst part is she’s going to be right, despite any logic or reason she is going to be right! [bangs his head into a wall]
"Our world is peaceful, just as it has always been," he countered. "The studies and experiments have not disrupted any balance of it."
Mikey: He has a point, not that it would matter because she will be proven right anyway!
"There is no way to know. Perhaps you have opened doors that you can never close. You do not know what it is you are dealing with."
Mikey: Once again we get : You don’t know what might happen thus it is automatically doomed to kill us all! Once again; I know she turns out to be right, but we have no reason to believe this other than her saying she is. How does she know this!? Why would she think this? It can’t be Merlin, because she already felt this before he showed up just to kiss her ass and say how correct she is!
"And Merlin does?"
Mikey: I’ll admit this is a little dumb on his part given Merlin is a wizard, but actually Merlin pretty much said he doesn’t so…
"He says it is darkness you are experimenting upon; it is a dangerous element, not to be toyed with, for it destroys all those who fall prey to it.
Mikey: Shouldn’t she have already told him all of this in her recap of the conversation with Merlin before? You know what, I don’t give a shit because she is still being redundant.
If you will not cease these experiments for me, or for even your subjects, do so for Mai.
Mikey: Must resist…
I am so~ dead.
She would have to endure many trials if you did not."
Mikey: Such as being bashed for getting in the way of a popular, but non-canon fan pairing. Oh sorry, wrong Mai - the Mai they are talking about isn’t as cool as you.
"You know that I would never subject my daughter to such hardship if it was in my power to prevent it! But
Mikey (as Ansem): I’m desperate to kill both of you and restore canon, oh did I let that slip?
I cannot cease these experiments, Hiromi. If it is indeed darkness, then the study of it could prove useful in countering it, should the door ever open."
Mikey: So your saying "open the door to protect yourself from what is behind the door should it ever open…"
Ouch - please don’t put me on the sues side of this argument.
Hiromi shook her head. "No. Studying it could lead only to destruction. Once the door is opened, who is to say that it could be closed again?"
Mikey: I think you both are being stupid, but sue is still somewhat more stupid so Ansem wins.
"Who is to say that it has indeed been opened at all?"
Mikey: Can anyone follow this conversation? It seems to have no realistic flow or point other than that Ansem is being rash because he’s not listening to the sue, but the sue has done no research and talks like an idiot who thinks the world will end in 2012 so why should he listen to her?
Hiromi rose from the sofa upon which she had been sitting. "We do not know what lies beyond the door. I have no wish to find out."
Mikey: Well that would be because you have no intellectual curiosity…
Wait I just realized something, she’s taken Mickey Mouse’s part in Ansem and his shared back-story! (I’ll explain that later)
With that, she exited, leaving her husband to stare after her as she disappeared into the corridor, the hem of her wine-colored gown trailing behind her as the great door closed.
Mikey: How dramatic! I’m sure the color of her dress and the fact that it trails shall be very important…
Once she had gone, Ansem looked out into the storm.
Mikey (as Ansem): Finally the bitch is gone!
It was quite dark, save for the occasional flash of lightning that threw into the room violent shocks of whitish blue before quickly fading.
Mikey: Anyway like I was saying Mickey was the one warning him to be careful with the darkness if my memory serves me right. Damn this bitch! You don’t steal from the mouse - no really - the mouse is scary!
Studying it could only lead to destruction, Hiromi had said.
Mikey: And so we return to the biggest theme of Gethsemane’s stories - redundancy!
But yet he could not see any other option but to continue with the study. He could find some sort of answer to defending this world from the darkness, should it ever come to that, simply by studying its behavior.
Mikey: Gethsemane = Redundant. It’s getting to the point where I’m being redundant by proxy!
You know what though, despite the sues complaints and my prior knowledge of canon - I am totally on Ansem’s side.
He’s trying to protect everyone from the Darkness and Gethsemane - I mean Hiromi is just whining about how she thinks it’s dangerous because it’s unknown, even though it’s only unknown because no one has studied it. His research could save millions (once again, ignoring what happens in canon for a moment to focus on what has been written in the fanfic).
He could not cease the experiments.
Mikey: And he shouldn’t!
He would not.
Mikey: Um~ was that really needed? I think that's like the twelfth time you've said that...
---
Mikey: Anyway another two chapters done. I’ll see you all next time ‘k! [looks around to make sure Mai isn‘t around to kill him and then goes to sleep in his sporking chair]
---
<- Back
Forward ->
Table of Content
By the way some “juicy” (a.k.a batshit insane) Gethsemane quotes (sporked of course) can be found here; courtesy of the wonderful astute zelda_queen !
And I knew what astute meant without the help of a thesaurus, aren’t I smart!
---
The Door to Darkness 1-2
by ~gethsemane-butler
Mikey: Voted #7 on the ‘names to run away from in fan fiction‘.
Book I: Hiromi
Chapter II
Hiromi entered the large library after breaking her fast,
Mikey: Wha- what! Breaking her fast - what the fuck! I hate to destroy your fantasy of genius but you don’t sound smart, you sound like a moron! No one talks that way; not in real life and not in the game - well unless they are a faux intellectual who thinks it sounds smarter to use archaic phrases to say simple things - oh right; I forgot, please do continue.
with Mai in her arms, and settled herself before the large window;
Mikey: She then threw the baby out of it. She didn’t want it replacing her later.
she did not choose a book from one of the many shelves, as she had no desire to read.
Mikey: Which is good, because outside of cheap pretentious romance novel nothing would suit her tastes.
She instead allowed her mind to wander where it would,
Mikey: Most likely back to the topic that most matters to her - herself…
hoping to find some sort of respite from the concern with which she had been afflicted since her husband and his apprentices began their project.
Mikey: I feel so~ bad for you. [Checks his watch] Do something interesting already!
Ansem was by no means a stupid man,
Mikey: Gee, an here I thought the whole “the Wise” thing was supposed to be ironic.
though at times Hiromi considered him to be ignorant.
Mikey: Of course that means he is. The sue told us she thinks this so it must be true!
It was this ignorance that he wished to surmount, and he had become quite absorbed in the studies.
Mikey: Studying = Bad, Sue Sex = Good!
They had begun before Mai was born, and had not stopped for more than a single night at a time.
Mikey: Can you repeat that in proper English? Are you saying that he has worked for over three-hundred days without sleep? Damn the man lucky to be alive (well he is married to a sue, so maybe lucks the wrong word).
The work was beginning to take its toll on Ansem;
Mikey: Only just beginning to? Also; as I mentioned in the last chapter, where is the Disney part of this. I admit I’m not the biggest fan, but wasn’t Ansem the Wise a friend of Mickey Mouse?
Hiromi witnessed the exhaustion in his eyes as he sat with her at the table in the dining hall. He barely spoke, but was instead absorbed in his own thoughts.
Mikey: Maybe he’s just not that fond of you; I know we aren’t.
Once he had finished, he rose, took a moment to gently run his hand over his daughter's tiny head, and then exited with a reverent nod to Hiromi.
Mikey: Yeah; he doesn’t like you. In fact he’s my favorite character in this. He really is wise!
(Ansem’s thoughts): Eat and run before I’m forced to have sex with her!
Such had been his customary behavior since these studies began. It was as if they were slowly beginning to consume him.
Mikey: Or his studies just made him realize you where a sue. Either way he’s smart enough to get his ass away from you as soon as possible. You wanna know something though~ I’m amazed that it’s already chapter 2 and nothing has happened that hasn’t already happened. She said and or implied all this in the last chapter!
And this was what frightened her most, the thought of perhaps, once he had gone too far, it would be impossible to return.
Mikey: Did you take the same writing class as Sono Asahina and Yoyo Yuki [shiver]; or is it just a bad fanfic writer thing that you find it necessary to say the same damn thing over and over. I feel like I’m re-reading chapter one again!
Mai began to fret in her arms,
Mikey (as Mai): Give me attention!
and Hiromi glanced down, attempting to quiet her with soft coos and caresses. Even that did not quiet her.
Mikey (as Hiromi): No, I’m the sue right now! Anyway back to explain why am so much wiser than Ansem the Wise!
Actually in my opinion she’s being paranoid. I mean I know she’s right, but she hasn’t explained why she feels this way! I mean, yeah she said it was the unknown, but she hasn’t said anything about why it scares her. What does she think will happen?
We get all kinds of stupid details, but nothing of substance from her!
We’re supposed to be “oh she’s so wise because she knows what will happen” but she doesn’t know what will happen; it’s like she’s just bitching because he husband is busy at work and nothing more. She’s not trying to figure out if it’s dangerous or trying to prove it is to her husband, she just sits back and tells us about how she feels it will be dangerous…
Hiromi looked up upon hearing the library door open. Madako entered and bowed deeply.
Mikey: When did she get into the library? Does she just randomly teleport from room to room? I mean she was eating breakfast a minute ago…
"Mistress," she said, "you have a visitor."
Mikey: Once again; it kind of sound like Hiromi is some kind of tyrant. I don‘t know why, she just comes off like that.”
"Send him in, please, Madako."
Mikey: Please let it be an assassin; I‘m desperate for SOMETHING to happen! This is so tedious and boring. [cries]
The older woman bowed again, removed herself from the library, and returned a moment later.
Mikey: I keep imagining this lady throwing herself to the floor and groveling like this is the King and I. Anyway remember how I mentioned Disney? Well guess what!
"Master Merlin, my lady," she said reverently.
Mikey: Let’s see how the sue can screw this one up! And once again - nice thesaurus!
Hiromi smiled and nodded dismissively,
Mikey: Oh, - no you did-not just act dismissively to Merlin’s arrival you pompous little bitch! Merlin may have been goofy in Disney’s The Sword in the Stone, but you never disrespect the man. He’s freakin’ Merlin, he could whoop your petty tyrant ass in five seconds with magic - even unintentionally. I hope he turns you into a freaking mouse ya’ bitch!
and Madako once again left.
Mikey: Most likely to join the other freedom fighters in their plan to kill her. I bet Merlin’s in on it…
In her place appeared an elderly man, with a long, grey beard and spectacles, dressed in the blue robes of a sorcerer with a blue hat atop his head.
Mikey: That was a pretty accurate description of the man and given the writer penchant for needless words. Sadly she probably only typed it out that way because she didn‘t think he was interesting (and by that I mean attractive) enough to be described in a better way.
"Welcome, Merlin," said Hiromi as she rose.
Mikey (as Hiromi): Is it time for you to kiss my sue ass already?
I was wondering when she would make the other canon characters do that.
Mai had still not quieted completely; her frets were now little whimpers, and Merlin smiled as he approached the lady, taking the baby gently from her. Mai soothed beneath his caresses, and Hiromi only watched as he handed her the child again.
Mikey: Why the hell does this exist? He takes the baby and it calms down then he hands it back. What do we take from this? Hiromi is a terrible mother and the sue baby is desperate to be rid of her? Perhaps two sues competing for the role of main character just become compelled to kill each other over time.
"Such a lovely daughter you have," he said. "The last I saw of her, she was only a tiny little thing."
Mikey: She still is! She’s like one!
Mai had been born prematurely,
Mikey: Not that there where any real health complications. This is just a source of needless drama. Except it’s back-story so we know it’s meaningless because she‘s fine in the here and now thus it has no dramatic impact.
and, in her early weeks, Hiromi and Ansem feared she would not live to see her first birthday,
Mikey: The audience is of course depressed because she did.
for she had been quite weak and small.
Mikey: Which was; once again, implied by the whole being premature thing.
Miraculously, however, Mai began to slowly grow stronger and gain weight until she was of normal size for her age.
Mikey: Of course. What a miracle that a city with a super computer; you know the one that has the world based off Tron in it (seriously), and is also a town filled with magical people and genius inventors could somehow keep a premature baby alive. Mai sure is unique…
"I thank you," returned Hiromi. "Please, come with me into my apartments. It can get quite drafty here in the library."
Mikey: Will you be walking or will you just teleport there? Perhaps your servants will carry you there instead?
Merlin followed her from the library and down the corridor until they reached a large door at the end of it, which Hiromi took a moment to open, revealing a large drawing room richly furnished with plush chairs, sofas, carpets, and tables. The room was illuminated by two large windows on either side of the great stone hearth, in which a fire was cheerily crackling.
Mikey: And we return to the flowery writing that has sustained 90% of her word count. Seriously the library gets no description; hell I don’t even know if she mentioned entering it - it just went food to library like that! The room for talking in on the other hand, that gets a whole paragraph even though it will probably never come up again.
Now I know you could say that it was probably because it was supposed to be the library from the first game that Belle hangs out in when she’s trapped in Hallow Bastion (as it’s called in the first game), but let’s be honest - she was just being lazy and threw the lady in a library to try to make her look educated.
"Shall I send for refreshments?" asked Hiromi as she motioned towards the chairs before the fireplace.
Mikey (as Hiromi): Or shall I just whip some of my slaves for pleasure? Where did you think Disney placed the cast of the animated parts of Song of the South in this series?
Merlin sat down slowly and replied gravely, "No, thank you, my lady."
Mikey: He probably doesn’t like seeing them twitch upon the sight of their twisted despot.
Hiromi sat before him then, and Mai sat upright in her lap, reaching towards Merlin.
Mikey: Merlin run! There is still time to save your character. Run and never look back!
Hiromi set the child down, and she slowly began to walk towards him. She was still slightly unsteady, as she had only recently learned to walk, but she looked up at her mother proudly upon reaching her destination. Hiromi smiled and applauded her, praising her for her little feat, and Merlin retrieved her, settling her in his lap. Mai babbled happily to herself.
Mikey: I’m beginning to hate babies; at least the ones in her fanfics. Gah; it’s just like Haunted. (fear not; it leads to a spork!)
"May I inquire as to the honor of your visit?" asked Hiromi.
Mikey (as Merlin): Yeah; we wanna know why you talk like that. Everyone in town thinks your crazy, but I just think your making up for a lack of intellect.
"My reason for visiting, Hiromi, is a grave one indeed."
Mikey: You see, Merlin is supposed to be a goofy guy; so him talking like this is alright on my part. It’s supposed to mark him as whimsical and a large ham.
On the other hand, that isn’t why he’s talking like this; hell it‘s not even done in a whimsical over the top way. (Well anymore than anyone else in this shit fanfic)
He’s talking like this because Gethsemane believes this is how intelligent people are supposed to talk; or to be more precise, supposed to write. This has the effect of making almost everyone in her fanfics sound pretentious…
I pray she doesn’t include Winnie the Pooh in any of this.
Hiromi stared at him. "How grave?"
Mikey: Your grave preferably…
"Quite so. It concerns your husband...and your daughter."
Mikey: Because if a sue isn’t involved then where ever would the story go?
Hiromi unknowingly gripped the arms of her chair as her heart skipped a beat. "What is it?"
Mikey: Oh please, like you don’t know!
"My Lady, these experiments that Master Ansem is performing...they are not safe. I fear that they will bring only destruction to this world."
Mikey: Gee, thus marking the sue concerns correct. Who would have ever guessed!?
Hiromi remained silent, but stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He did so.
Um, what was the point of this statement; can you not go five minutes without mentioning your sues? -Ya know what…
[the Aria from Final Fantasy VI plays]
Mikey:
O my hero, my beloved,
Shall we still be made to part,
Though promises of perennial love
Yet sing here in my heart?
I'm the darkness, you're the starlight
Shining brightly from afar.
Through hours of despair, I offer this prayer
To you, my evening star.
Must my final vows exchanged
Be with him and not with you?
Were you only here to quiet my fear...
O speak! Guide me anew.
[music stops]
You may ask yourself “what the point of that“ and “what did it add to the spork?“
The answer is : nothing...
If she’s not gonna try to make anything relevant then why should I?
"What he is studying is darkness, and experimentation with such an element is quite dangerous. It could disrupt the harmony of this world and ultimately destroy it. He must cease these studies at once."
Mikey: Why are you telling her this, she obviously knows that! For one, she said so. For another, she’s a sue. There is nothing she doesn’t know - unless the plot (for lack of a better term) decided she needs to discover something for the sake of "drama"!
"I have told him that it is quite dangerous, and that I feared for him because of it," returned Hiromi,
Mikey: Of course you did, you’re a sue. You know better than everyone and of course you figured all of this out faster than Merlin!
"yet he always discounts it as the human fear of the unknown. I fear that he will slowly be consumed by his work."
Mikey: He discounts it as such because that is the only argument you have given him! You’ve put zero effort into stopping him, but act like a victim of his arrogance and fool hardiness! Here’s a hint : DO SOMETHING BESIDE CLAIM YOU FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG! We don’t feel bad for you…
"The work is not all he will be consumed with," said Merlin softly. "For those who toy with the darkness ultimately find themselves as mindless puppets, doing only what the darkness tells them to do, relying on little more than instinct."
Mikey: Um how can they be a tool for darkness AND rely on instinct? I know the series has always been a little iffy, but it was my impression that most (true) Heartless are running mostly on only instinct with no real conductor. The more intelligent ones are only evil because they are obsessed with something.
Well some people gain the power to control the heartless; they ultimately break free once their hunger grows to strong. And honestly they aren’t very smart creatures - Hell, Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas almost got them to stage dance numbers for him before Oogie Boogie screwed everything up.
In fact it seems as if Darkness is only evil because an over whelming large number of villains use it and it is mostly apathetic to things…
More people should use Darkness to stage elaborate dance numbers; we can all learn a thing or two from the Pumpkin King…
All hint of color drained from Hiromi's face.
Mikey: I know it did from mine...
"How is it you know this?"
"Because I have witnessed it. I cannot explain it, nor do I know what happens to the person as he or she is overtaken by darkness, whether willingly or not.
Mikey: Well as far as I can tell they become a heartless; which seem to run on instinct. Their body becomes a nobody; which have no emotions and run on the desire to try to imitate the emotions they can still remember once possessing. All well seeking their original hearts; or some shit like that - the second game was weird. I guess that wasn’t a question.
I know only the result, and it is quite a disastrous one, both for the unfortunate soul who submitted to the darkness and those around him."
Mikey: Wait, what!? You just said you don’t know what happens and then afterwards said with slightly different phrasing that you do know what happens to them! I hate you!
His eyes immediately fell to Mai,
[whistles innocently]
who looked up at him with a grin. He sighed.
Mikey (as Merlin): What am I doing here!? I have a small boy to harass with a series of random yet amusing adventures until he pulls a sword out of a stone and becomes king.
"Hiromi, I have known you since you were but a child yourself," he said to her, looking up at her. "And I knew then, even as I do now, that you would have a hand in either the salvation or destruction of this realm."
Mikey: [Aghast] You’re not trying to have Merlin build your damn sue up! Y-you sick - you - your - blah! You have done nothing to show this! You’ve done nothing to prove you are capable of anything! And now you have MERLIN telling us you will either save or destroy the world as you know it! You - you self important bitch - I - I [cries] I hate you!
"Me?" gasped Hiromi. "How could I possibly have such a destiny?"
Mikey: Yeah, how? She’s a tyrant, completely self absorbed, and lazy to boot. Please explain…
"That is something I must not tell you. But your daughter also has a part to play in the fate of this world.
Mikey: Of course she does…
One day, when all is known and revealed, perhaps the right choice will be made. Do not mistake me; there will be many trials in the journey ahead. The quest is a perilous one, Hiromi; you must accept it, or Destiny will drag you unwillingly. I have sought all I could from the stars, and this is all they reveal to me. I could seek no more than what I am allowed; even sorcerers have rules they must obey."
Mikey: Stop! You’re not going to explain, we are just supposed to assume she is the magical messiah who will save us all! Sora, Kairi, hell even Riku are just bit players in this women and her daughters greater destiny!
And what kind of bullshit excuse is the even sorcerers have rules they must obey. I mean I’m sure its’ true, but it comes of as you saying. “She’s unique and special - take our word for it!”
"And what of Ansem?"
Mikey: Who? Oh him, I guess I forgot about him because I was to busy hating you.
Merlin shook his head. "I do not know."
Mikey: He wasn’t a sue so his life was much harder to read.
"Surely, you must!"
Mikey: No, and don’t call him Shirley. (How could I resist?)
"I do beg your pardon, Hiromi, but I do not. I have attempted time and time again to discover his part in this world's fate. His name is shrouded in mist. That is all I can tell you, for I know nothing more."
Mikey: Redundancy is a big theme in your writing; isn’t it.
Hiromi remained silent for many moments, her head bowed in what seemed to be some sort of meditation.
Mikey: In reality the poison she was given earlier today during breakfast was taking effect; down with the despot!
At length, she whispered, "You said the salvation or destruction of this world. Which is it?"
Mikey: Who gives a shit, your daughter is the main sue here. Her life is destined to be perfect. You on the other hand - will probably die…
"That is yet to be seen," Merlin replied. "It is all in the future, and I dare not read further into it than I must."
Mikey: Because he already knows everything ahead will be as mind numbingly bad as what he has seen already.
"What of Mai?"
Mikey (as Merlin): She will grow up to have purple hair and eyes, wield two key blades, and date one of the many pretty boys available in this game.
"She has many trials before her. But yet I know that she has the strength enough to endure them."
Mikey: Mostly because the plot will pull shit out of it’s ass to ensure her successes; all without her ever facing any real challenge or drama. However she will angst a lot!
Wow, I can see the future too!
---
Mikey: I kinda wanna finish that Aria now-
[the aria continues]
I am thankful, my beloved,
For your tenderness and grace.
I see in your eyes, so gentle and wise,
All doubts and fears erased!
Though the hours take no notice
Of what fate might have in store,
Our love, come what may, will never age a day.
I'll wait forevermore!
Remember Final Fantasy VI is the property of SquareEnix just like Kingdom Hearts.
Sigh, now I guess I gotta finish the next part of this…
---
The Door to Darkness 1-3
by ~gethsemane-butler
Book I: Hiromi
Chapter III
Hiromi stared at Merlin for several silent moments, her mind frantically trying to grasp the concepts of what he had revealed to her. It frightened her that her world was destined for destruction should the wrong choice be made, but it was surreal that she had a hand in its salvation...as well as its destruction. But her daughter...perhaps Mai had a much larger role than Hiromi did. In any case, this was all quite shocking, and it took her several moments to gain her composure.
Mikey: [crying] So much redundancy!
Although I feel it’s nice of her to warn us her daughter will be a bigger sue than her. Also with all the ‘moments’ passing I imagine they’ve been there for the whole day at the very least…
When at length she did so, she asked carefully, "What is it you mean by trials? Will Mai have to endure more than I?"
Mikey: Endure more than I? You haven’t done anything yet! Prissy little bitch!
Merlin did not answer her as frankly as he had moments previous, but answered, "She has trials ahead of her, some of them very arduous to surmount. If nothing else, she must fiercely guard her heart, for I have seen in the stars one who will surely prey upon it."
Mikey: More “big words” from her thesaurus to your eyes.
"Do the stars reveal to you who it is?"
Mikey: Probably not…
He shook his head. "I am afraid not, my lady. I do not know his name; that was not revealed to me. But he is one to be wary of."
Mikey: The stars are awfully useless aren’t they! They make Winnie the Pooh seem like a Rhodes Scholar.
"When is he to come, if he is to come at all?"
Mikey: He just said that he would be coming so stop the whole “raise my words count” crap!
"The distant future. As is another, but he remains an enigma to me. Both will struggle for possession of Mai's heart, each hoping to use it to his own purpose."
Mikey: So she’s only one and she already has two dudes biding for her heart.
GAH~!
Hiromi glanced at the girl, who had fallen asleep in Merlin's lap.
Mikey: Awwww, like mommy like child!
"Is there any way that I can...protect her?"
Mikey: I don’t like that pause, it makes me think she was originally gonna say something much different.
Merlin shook his head. "You may do what you see fit, but in the end, we are all servants of Fate. We must do as it decrees, for it always emerges victorious against us, whether good or bad."
Mikey: Hmmm, I seem to remember something like that being defied in Kingdom Hearts with the whole Sora and Riku thing during the first game. Then again I’m not 100% sure, still I have always hated the concept of “fate”. Of course Sues can gleefully embrace fate as it tends to hand them nice things anyway...
-------------------------
Late in the evening, when twilight had at last fallen over the realm,
Mikey: Bringing with it Stalker Vampires and Pedophile Werewolves; although neither would be Mai’s love interests!
bringing with it the promised storm, Hiromi sat with her husband in the library.
Mikey: I just want to interject that I noticed that you did enter the library; although only after I wrote about your seeming to teleport from room to room, but due to the half-assed way you wrote it I hadn’t noticed at the time when I wrote those jokes. I am going to leave those jokes to see if anyone else makes the same mistake as I did.
Was it really so difficult to move the sentence about being in the library to after the scene with you “breaking fast” instead of pointlessly making that a flashback. I mean really, must your story jump from place to place with no coherency what so ever!
Also for a man so engrossed in his research he sure seems to have time to just sit around with you.
He would soon be retiring for the night, she knew, but she did not know if she could ever hope to sleep.
Mikey: Just to recap: He is the one at risk of being consumed by the darkness and you expect us to feel bad because you are some vague chosen one?
Even Mai,
[Knife flies by Mikey’s face]
0.0’
And I think I'll be stopping that joke now…
who could not possibly understand what it was she would face, had found peace enough to sleep.
Mikey: Well duh! She was to young to know of the stupidity that lies ahead. That statement was so stupid it actually managed to hurt me. Are you implying that she is so wise at only one that she should be able to notice something being wrong?
She did not tell Ansem of what had been said during her counsel with Merlin, but he had sensed that she was not herself.
Mikey: Why? Did she not smell of fresh baked cookies when she entered their ‘domicile’; that fair time of day in which she had chosen to make her entrance, as she normally did? Or maybe it the fact that she wasn’t using her servants as footstools like she usually did?
"Hiromi," he said to her, "you have been very quiet as of late."
Mike (as Ansem): I like it, keep that up!
And still, you expect me to believe this is a man on the edge of darkness?
"Have I?" she returned absently. "I've not noticed."
Mikey: Proving she is to boring; even for herself to pay attention.
"What is bothering you?" he asked her.
Mikey (as Ansem): And promise me it’s not something stupid like you’re a chosen one or something.
"It is nothing."
"Surely it must be. You've barely eaten since this morning. You've not spoken a word, not even to Madako. You seem so solemn."
Mikey: How the fuck does he know this!? According to sue he has been aloof for over a year, yet he somehow knows everything she is up to! He’s either the most attentive busy husband ever, he’s got someone spying on her, or Gethsemane just pulls she out of her ass as she feels that it should be.
You wanna know what I think - I think Ansem’s just not making enough time for sex. I think Gethsemane’s idea of a attentive husband it one who is ready and willing to let her jump his bone 24/7 and if they aren’t then they are being neglectful towards her. Seriously, I honestly believe that is it.
She goes on and on about how inattentive he has been, but his actions suggest he always tries his best to make time for her and their sue daughter’s emotional needs, but Gethsemane only gives a shit about sex - so if he isn’t giving her that every night then he’s being aloof.
"I have..." her voice trailed as words failed her.
Mikey (as Ansem): Good, go to bed.
She felt powerless to confess to him what she had been told. Merlin was a very wise man and sorcerer, even wiser than her own husband.
Mikey: Sure; Merlin turns little boys into fish, squirrels, and such for fun then dumps entire kingdoms one them, but he’s wise - just not as wise as our sue here.
She respected him as such, and she knew that he had told her only out of concern for her welfare.
Mikey: The fact that he can’t see into Ansem’s future at all should have been a more important issue considering he’s their ruler and all, but since the sue is more important than the beloved king of their world we should just ignore that.
Though he had given her all the information that he was allowed to give, as much as his own Mysteries ordained, she felt still that he was concealing something from her.
Mikey: Yes, he’s part of the resistance and personally behind the plot to kill her...
He had alluded to two enigmatic men, and who they were he had said he did not know. Supposing, however, that he did know...
Mikey: Have you ever seen the original cut of the Thief and the Cobbler? The one with all the annoying voice over work for the main characters? This is the fanfic version of that…
No. He would never conceal such things from me, much less if it involved Mai, she berated herself inwardly.
Mikey: Because a goofy wizard would never have something to hide - well except for the (hopeful) plans he has for killing you.
"What is it?" Ansem pressed gently.
Mikey: You know what’s sickening - this whole thing is just so the Wise Ansem can prod her for info so she can show how important she is - I hate her…
She at length saw little option but to tell him of Merlin's visit.
Mikey: Anyone notice how often she uses the term at length? I don’t even think she’s used it right most of the time - she just seems to like using it.
Also he’s the king; shouldn’t he already know that Merlin was at the castle?
This she did so, along with the information he relayed to her, and when she had finished, Ansem sat for many moments in meditation,
Mikey: With all the moments that pass your daughter should be in her twenties by now!
just as she had done. At length, however, he looked up at her, his face expressionless.
Mikey: He’s self aware of this being a fanfic, no really - I believe this. I think he’s struggling to have as little attachment to Gethsemane’s version of reality as possible and that’s the real reason nothing she says gets through to the guy; he only occasionally fakes affection in order to throw her off his trail well he does everything in his power to get away from her.
Truly he is Ansem the Wise.
"I have the utmost respect for Merlin and his wisdom," he said softly. "You know that very well. But, from what I have been told, astrology is not so accurate as some claim it to be."
Mikey: I personally agree - astrology is bogus, but whatever - sue what is your opinion; you know, because it’s the only one that matters.
"But how could you possibly dismiss it as a simple mistake, even as our own world hangs in the balance?"
Mikey: This is yet another case of Gethsemane telling without showing which you may have noticed she does often. She keeps saying the world is in danger without giving us an example of how! Instead of making her seem wise; it makes her seem dangerously paranoid!
She is now consulting the stars for answers like every other nutball who thinks the world is coming to an end! And the worst part is she’s going to be right, despite any logic or reason she is going to be right! [bangs his head into a wall]
"Our world is peaceful, just as it has always been," he countered. "The studies and experiments have not disrupted any balance of it."
Mikey: He has a point, not that it would matter because she will be proven right anyway!
"There is no way to know. Perhaps you have opened doors that you can never close. You do not know what it is you are dealing with."
Mikey: Once again we get : You don’t know what might happen thus it is automatically doomed to kill us all! Once again; I know she turns out to be right, but we have no reason to believe this other than her saying she is. How does she know this!? Why would she think this? It can’t be Merlin, because she already felt this before he showed up just to kiss her ass and say how correct she is!
"And Merlin does?"
Mikey: I’ll admit this is a little dumb on his part given Merlin is a wizard, but actually Merlin pretty much said he doesn’t so…
"He says it is darkness you are experimenting upon; it is a dangerous element, not to be toyed with, for it destroys all those who fall prey to it.
Mikey: Shouldn’t she have already told him all of this in her recap of the conversation with Merlin before? You know what, I don’t give a shit because she is still being redundant.
If you will not cease these experiments for me, or for even your subjects, do so for Mai.
Mikey: Must resist…
I am so~ dead.
She would have to endure many trials if you did not."
Mikey: Such as being bashed for getting in the way of a popular, but non-canon fan pairing. Oh sorry, wrong Mai - the Mai they are talking about isn’t as cool as you.
"You know that I would never subject my daughter to such hardship if it was in my power to prevent it! But
Mikey (as Ansem): I’m desperate to kill both of you and restore canon, oh did I let that slip?
I cannot cease these experiments, Hiromi. If it is indeed darkness, then the study of it could prove useful in countering it, should the door ever open."
Mikey: So your saying "open the door to protect yourself from what is behind the door should it ever open…"
Ouch - please don’t put me on the sues side of this argument.
Hiromi shook her head. "No. Studying it could lead only to destruction. Once the door is opened, who is to say that it could be closed again?"
Mikey: I think you both are being stupid, but sue is still somewhat more stupid so Ansem wins.
"Who is to say that it has indeed been opened at all?"
Mikey: Can anyone follow this conversation? It seems to have no realistic flow or point other than that Ansem is being rash because he’s not listening to the sue, but the sue has done no research and talks like an idiot who thinks the world will end in 2012 so why should he listen to her?
Hiromi rose from the sofa upon which she had been sitting. "We do not know what lies beyond the door. I have no wish to find out."
Mikey: Well that would be because you have no intellectual curiosity…
Wait I just realized something, she’s taken Mickey Mouse’s part in Ansem and his shared back-story! (I’ll explain that later)
With that, she exited, leaving her husband to stare after her as she disappeared into the corridor, the hem of her wine-colored gown trailing behind her as the great door closed.
Mikey: How dramatic! I’m sure the color of her dress and the fact that it trails shall be very important…
Once she had gone, Ansem looked out into the storm.
Mikey (as Ansem): Finally the bitch is gone!
It was quite dark, save for the occasional flash of lightning that threw into the room violent shocks of whitish blue before quickly fading.
Mikey: Anyway like I was saying Mickey was the one warning him to be careful with the darkness if my memory serves me right. Damn this bitch! You don’t steal from the mouse - no really - the mouse is scary!
Studying it could only lead to destruction, Hiromi had said.
Mikey: And so we return to the biggest theme of Gethsemane’s stories - redundancy!
But yet he could not see any other option but to continue with the study. He could find some sort of answer to defending this world from the darkness, should it ever come to that, simply by studying its behavior.
Mikey: Gethsemane = Redundant. It’s getting to the point where I’m being redundant by proxy!
You know what though, despite the sues complaints and my prior knowledge of canon - I am totally on Ansem’s side.
He’s trying to protect everyone from the Darkness and Gethsemane - I mean Hiromi is just whining about how she thinks it’s dangerous because it’s unknown, even though it’s only unknown because no one has studied it. His research could save millions (once again, ignoring what happens in canon for a moment to focus on what has been written in the fanfic).
He could not cease the experiments.
Mikey: And he shouldn’t!
He would not.
Mikey: Um~ was that really needed? I think that's like the twelfth time you've said that...
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Mikey: Anyway another two chapters done. I’ll see you all next time ‘k! [looks around to make sure Mai isn‘t around to kill him and then goes to sleep in his sporking chair]
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