Sporking with Mikey: The Horror Tales of - I mean The Chronicles of Sono Asahina 4
Mikey: It's Mikey here again. For the rest of this fic I will be givin' assistance from members of the SOS Brigade. Today I have Mikuru Asahina herself helping out.
Mikuru: I-I'm happy to be here today.
Mikey: You look very cute in that nurse uniform Asahina-san.
Mikuru: Uh- well you see. *blush* Haruhi said it's so bad a fanfic that you might need medicel attention.
Mikey: Hahahaha~ how sweet!
Mikuru: I made you some tea.
Mikey: How thoughtful of you. Thank you Mikuru- I mean Asahina-san.
Mikuru: Um- if it's easier for you then; just for this sporking, you can call me Mikuru.
Mikey: Then you can call me Mikey.
*We nod in agreement*
-
Disclaimer: I Don't Own Haruhi!
Mikey: I think we settled this issue before.
Mikuru: I'm not sure I'll be any help.
Mikey: Huh? Don't worry about it Mikuru.
Chapter 4
Mikuru: We're four chapters in? I-I didn't get to read the other three chapters.
Mikey: Your not missing much.
Sono's Super Adventure Pt. 1
Mikuru: Who is Sono?
Mikey: Your sister.
Mikuru: I have a sister?
Mikey: Only according to Sono herself. Oh god!
Mikuru: Wha-what's wrong!?
Mikey: I just noticed it says part 1! *starts hyperventilating*
Mikuru: Mikey please calm down. *Pours some more tea* Drink some tea!
After all I've been through,my superiors told me
Mikey: That she would be fired.
Mikuru: All she has been through? Did something happen to her?
Mikey: Um- well no. Apparently that stress of texting Yuki- (Mikuru:Yuki has a cell phone?) to save Kyon and being Haruhi's best bud ever since junior high or middle school or something; I admit I zone out at some points, is quite tiring. Oh right! This tea is very good Mikuru.
Mikuru: Thank you~ wait friend since when?
Mikey: We've gone over this one Mikuru, don't worry 'bout it. Here is a list of things she's done though. *hand Mikuru a list*
that I had to take a break from club activities.
Mikuru: *Going over the list* Wha! She should have been pulled back three chapters ago.
Mikey: Don't hurt yourself over this Mikuru. You've suffered enough in the fanfic.
*Mikuru nods*
Haruhi knew something is up with me.
Mikuru: How?
Mikey: Considering all the rules she's broken my guess would be she just flat out told Haruhi.
So Haruhi asked me a question.
Mikey (Haruhi): As the title character and reality warper how can I become as powerful a sue as you!
Mikuru: Nice impression. May I try one?
Mikey: Thanks and feel free.
Mikuru (sue): Sorry Suzumiya-san. I'm just to wonderful for... I can't... I just can't be like this girl.
Mikey: Don't feel bad - it just proves your not an amoral psychopath.
She said to me,"Sono,what's up?"
Mikey (Haruhi): and if you say the sky I'll kill you.
Mikuru: Or maybe we'll just kill you anyway. *covers her mouth embarrassed*
Mikey: Your catching one!
Mikuru: I-I didn't mean-
Mikey: Don't worry 'bout it.
Mikuru: I would never-
Mikey: It’s fine Mikuru.
I said to Haruhi,"Nothing much,Haruhi."
Mikey(sue): Just trying on Kyon's School Uniform. He doesn't need it since he's been almost completely absent since the start of this crap fic.
Haruhi thought 'My middle school friend might
Mikuru: I know you said not to ask but how could she be friends with Suzumiya-san since junior high when we didn't have agents working in that time period?
Mikey: Middle school.
Mikuru: Huh?
Mikey: Don't worry about is Mikuru, I personally believe this fanfic only exists to hurt people.
be a time traveler.I'm sure of it!'
Mikey: Two questions. 1) HOW THE FU- *looks at Mikuru and grins sheepishly* how did she come to that conclusion. 2) Pay close attention: Mikuru re-read that sentence in full.
Mikuru: 'My middle school friend might be a time traveler. I’m sure of it!'
Mikey: Nothing there make any sense. First of all Haruhi is thinking, or apparently talking about Sono. I don't address my best friend as "my best friend since we were in late high school". Haruhi is talking or is it thinking to/about her like she's not even there... which is honestly in character to some extent, but is completely inconsistent to how she was acting before! Two 'might be a time traveler. I’m sure of it!'. Is Haruhi developing a split personality or something?
But then Yuki came in.
Yuki said to Haruhi in her monotone,
Mikey(Yuki): We need to kill Sono.
"I need Sono for a bit."
Mikuru: Maybe you're right after all.
Haruhi said to Yuki,"Okay Yuki,Sono,you're
dismissed!"
Mikuru: Why did you skip a line?
Michael: I didn't - the fic just does that sometimes.
Mikuru: ...Oh. Um so wait is she trying to say.
"Yuki. Sono." Haruhi had paused a moment before finishing. This was typical Haruhi behavior of course. The girl had a way of turning everything into a spectacle. A talent many have, but few master. Much as The Bard had once written "life is a stage" and in this world Haruhi is the one who made it so.
Still Sono was feeling a wave of relief wash over her as this meant-
Mikey: Stop Mikuru!
Mikuru: What did I do?
Mikey: You we're working on improving the fanfic without thinking. As kind as it is, it is a hopeless cause. Sono Asahina will make no attempt at improving his writing.
Mikuru: It's a guy?
Mikey: Worst... it's a sue.
What a relief!
Mikey: That's the quality we expect from Sono!
Mikuru: I'm sorry.
Mikey: It's okay Mikuru. You can tell me your version later.
Later outside North High.
Mikey: The missiles had been set!
Mikuru: O-on my count - three, um-two, uh-one!
Mikey & Mikuru: FIRE!
Mikuru: This was so much easier than that one video game we played.
Yuki said to me in monotone,"Sono,Mikuru's
superiors has let you have your own adventure on
Saturday."
Mikey: Wouldn't that be both of your superiors?
Mikuru: She - um he skipped line again.
Mikey: Just ignore it - if we keep count we'll never get done.
I replied,"Wow! But won't that get in the way of
observing Haruhi?"
Mikey: Observing her? When did that happen? You've got Haruhi as your fawning fangirl! In this fic that is all Haruhi is!
Yuki replied still in monotone," If Ms.
Suzumiya joins you-."
Mikuru: Um-
Mikey: N...no... no way.
I Interrupted,"My superiors know that a time
quake may happen"
Mikey: Will it?
Mikuru: That's classified. *winks*
Mikey: I love that line!
So much for singing "Find a Happy Life."
Mikey: Sono means Mitsukete Happy Life right?
Mikuru: She's taken my character song?*crys*
Mikey: *hugs Mikuru* It'll be okay. Sues take many things and hurt many people. Don’t take her evil personally.
Sono: What a introduction to this
Mikuru: What is she talking about?
Mikey: I stopped asking that awhile back.
Mikuru: But that sentence doesn’t make any sense.
Mikey: I don’t ask…
Rickey: Review it Please!
Mikuru: I don't wanna be rude, but you fanfic is not very good.
Both: FU-MOF-FU!
Mikey: Your right - let's blow this fanfic up!
Mikuru: Uh-um what are you talking about Mikey?
Mikey: I'm not really sure... should I know?
-
Mikuru: - this is over right?
Mikey: So Mikuru what did you think?
Mikuru: I-I-I...
Mikey:... Mikuru?
Mikuru: Am I worthless? I know I’m not very helpful, but I wasn’t even remotely useful in this chapter. I didn't even get to appear and Sono is my sister so I wondering…
Mikey: No - Sono is the useless one.
Mikuru: *Smiles nervously* I need to get back to the club room and change, Tsuruya-san is waiting for me.
Mikey: See you later!
Mikuru: *nods and runs out of the room - after she gets out there is a crash.* I'm okay!
Anyway next week we are joined by... (monotone) Itsuki - oh boy... I just can't wait...
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