[ ooc ] mutsu kokonose from senki senki momotama
Canon: Welcome to scenic Tougen Island, a virtually untouched paradise with crystal blue waters, lush forests and posh stores... perfect except for the occasional demon attack! Tougen Island is actually an unmapped military state ruled over by the Momotarou whose word is absolute law enforced by a private army and three guardian beasts, a pheasant, a dog and a monkey. Sound like a familiar story? This ain't your grandpa's folktale! The current Momotarou is a pink-haired, gum-chewing manipulator with a distressing disregard for the life of others, the dog teaches at the local demon hunter academy in human form and hapless people are unknowingly recruited to attend said academy and risk life and limb to combat them. This neverending story has gone on for 800 years but things seem to be coming to a head in the battle for Tougen Island.
Enter Mutsu Kokonose, the nine-year-old lord of the Mutsu clan with big plans for the island (and eventually the world!) and an even bigger mouth. All your demons are belong to him; it's his destiny and he isn't waiting around until he's legal (or even waist height) to claim his rightful position: topping everyone else in his canon. Though he's got the usual marks of your average shounen hero, the gravity-defying hair, bad attitude, height issues and the ability to look adorable as long as he keeps his mouth shut, he's not burning for great universal justice and he doesn't care about turning foes into friends. Minions and machine guns are more his style.
Sample Post:
Is this it?! For a special "become demon hunters or die" examination, this looks like it was planned and executed by a dodo on LSD. I'm a little insulted. I was expecting mayhem. I was expecting being dropped in the middle of a pit with ravening demons armed only with a toothpick and glitter. Hell with the bubblegum monsters last time, I was even expecting having to tussle with man-eating cabbages. But I was not expecting walking in on this cosplaying session. I don't care if it's 'camp fauna friendship week' and if you "IYAAA~N!" at me one more time, I will annihilate you, gorilla loli or not.
Is this what demons and monsters have been reduced to? Where are the gruesome visages? The unholy strength? What the hell is this moe and why is it more important than world domination?! I'm supposed to be owning you sad little clowns something fierce right about now but there's no honor in my inevitable victory with your present state. It would insult my honor as a man--- and did you just snigger over there?! I see how it is now. Without the Mutsu clan, you've become directionless, sunk into depravity and otakudom. As your new master, I realize that this obvious morale problem is my responsibility. So why don't we start off with a little icebreaker game called "Let's Win Kokonose-sama's Approval Before He Burns Our Crappy Doujinshi"!
Yeah that's right, move fast you bastards and find a way to suck up to me reeeeally nicely and maybe I might upgrade you all from 'pointless lifeform' to 'incompetent peon'. There's no pay raise because really, why should I? but you get the warm glow of getting your own special number assigned to you and if you're really lucky, I might add on another uncomplimentary adjective.
Well now, this is more like it! That sure motivated you losers huh! And points for effort because I can see you ran out of clawpolish in the middle of making that "Welcome to our Underaged Overlord" banner. Be sure to return that zombie's intestines later because I can see from the letter U that he hasn't finished digesting. Good work improvising with the materials on hand though... I said later incompetent peon #109, return the innards to him after I present my plan for the coup handily summed up in ten bullet points- and put that shotgun away because I don't need actual bullets.
I see that in this coup d'etat, I'm going to have to do everything. Just don't get in my way and maybe I'll reward you by letting you kiss my feet later. And no #45, in this case, tongue is most decidedly OPTIONAL.
[[ voted in at 84.3% ~ ♥ don't app unbeta-ed and sleep deprived! ]]