*How long has it been?!*
My computer exploded. There's the reason for my lack of updates. For those of you that didn't know already, I'm getting married in a week. Yes, little slutty Amber is getting married. I figured it's the right time to settle down and shit and I got a fiance that I love with all my heart. After I get married I will be moveing to Louisianna because that's where his main station is where he gotta work. So everyone better say their goodbye's before I leave because it'll probablly be a while before I see any of you's again. And you better believe that I will be comming back to this shit hole called Buffalo because believe it or not, I'm gonna miss it alot. It's everything that I've grown to know and love. All of my friends, the chill spots, the good times...it's all here in hell. I leave tomorrow to go and pick Jim up. Finally! After 4 months my baby gets to come home with me. We get to start a life together. Nothing can go wrong. This wedding thing is killing me though. It's only me doing anything. I'm paying for it all and planning it all and it's super hard to do all of this on my own. I can see if I had a better paying job. But, that's why I picked up a second job at the fair. That's all over now though, I got my $286 paycheck and flew out of there. And Chuck E Cheese still only pays me $5.65/hour so that's not helping much either. It sucks, ya know? I just had my shower last Saturday. It was pretty decent for just my family showing up. No one from his side came besides his mother and sister and niece. But oh well, right? Mad shit has become missing from my house again and that sucks real bad. My clothes, my shoes, my paraphanalia, my money, my drugs, my smokes, I mean hell, someone even stole my fucking underwear. Who would steal someone else's underwear? That's pretty God damn gross if ya ask me. And then we got all of this drama flying around that I am definitely not gonna write in here because you all know how shit spreads around if someone miss translates what I'm saying. But let's just say that I really need to talk to some people and tell them the truth on how I feel and get ALOT of shit off my chest. I'd be more content with myself then. I could sleep better at night and wake up at peace if I tell some people some shit. Some things that go on make me happy that I'm moveing to Louisianna, but thats the opposite of how I feel. Like, they make me so mad that I can't wait to get out of here and just lose contact with everyone and just start over from scratch. God, I hope that I don't ever lose contact with my friends. Especially Mike, ya know. I mean, he's been there through everything with me. Friends for about 6 years now. I wish that I could take all of my friends down there with me, or that me and Jim could just stay here. If he wasn't in the army do you know how different things would be right now? We probablly wouldn't even be thinking of getting married, we'd still be doing drugs and shit, I wouldn't have had half of the drama I've been through while he's been gone, I don't know, everything would just be so much different, I can't even imagine where our lives would end or even if we'd be together in the long run. But I'm glad the way things are turning out. I can't wait to get married and not have to worry about things most 18 year olds have to worry about. Its like, okay I'm 18, I'm officially an adult now, mind as well start acting like one. You can call me stupid, crazy, a moron, I don't care, I've been called it a million of times. I say 'yeah, I'm getting married' and everyone starts calling me names and telling me how stupid I am, but whatever. You live, you learn, right? If things don't work out (I'm prayin for them too) then I've experienced something some people never get to experience in their lives. It will all work out for the best. But, I probablly won't update for a while because I don't have a computer so everyone call me sometime so we can get together before I leave. (716) 648-8002 I love all of you's and I'm gonna miss everyone so fucking much.
