Even the smallest things are hard
Well, I had a pretty good weekend/week so far. Me and Jess got to hang out alot, and we havent done that for a long time. It was much needed and alot of fun. We talked about alot of things and decided that it would be best for me to talk to someone and explain to this person that he shouldnt be mad at me for stupid shit and that we might need to take a break from seeing eachother. When I did that last night, I thought that I was going to die. I admit I did cry... It was alot harder then I ever thought that it would be. I thought if I told him how I felt that maybe if he loved me as much as he said he did that he would kinda put what I told him into consideration and not be mad. He wasnt at first, then he asked me if I liked anyone, at first I hesitated because I didnt want him to get mad at me. But he told me that if I told him that he wouldnt get mad at me. So me being stupid in all I told him that I liked this kid named Ryan who I hung out with over the weekend. He got so pissed off I seriously thought that he was going to jump out of the phone and kill me. Then we talked a little after a few hang ups from both me and him from being mad. And he kinda understood, and after all that we decided that it was indeed a very good time for us to take a break. The only problem is, is that I dont know if i was making the right decision or not. What if i made the wrong decision and screwed up not only what we have but our friendship too? What if he doesnt want to talk to me ever agian? I already hurt him once before, I definatly dont want to hurt him agian. And even though I like someone else, I still love him more then anything in the whole world. And if he loved me like he says he does then he will understand that sometimes people need to have there space for awhile just to make their relationship stronger in the long run. But I do hope that he knows I still love him and always will, no matter what happens.
Comment if you want?
Comment if you want?