It's been along time
i haven't really had the time to say anything in a really long time but i thought i would come out cause i don't have anyone to really share my thoughts with so i figured i might as well share them with myself. I watched the movie "The girl nextdoor" today for the first time and i was expecting a stupid american pie type movie that had just sex and nudity, which i guess it had...it was kinda cheesy...more of a mix between 100 girls and American pie, but something really stuck out at me. The interactions between Danielle and matt. For those of you who haven't seen the movie Danielle is a once porn star who has never felt love as anything more then on screen sex and matt is president of the class who never did anything exciting. He falls for her and finds out she is a porn star and treats her like an object, either way he fucks it all up and she feels that if Matt couldn't make her feel like a person nobody else would and she falls back into the life of an object.
I guess it kinda hit me wierd because i used to be like him and i went for the girl that people treated like an object and the way i acted and looked at her really was different and she didn't appriate that. I am not really sure where i am going too much with this but the way he must have felt when we was with the only person in the world he's ever wanted to be with, it's like something came back after all these years and i had that feeling again for just a second and it's fucken crazy cause i don't know how to feel about that. I have spent the last few years not thinking i was able to have that feeling i kinda forgot how much i missed it. I have never felt so confused cause i loved it and i want to get it back, but at the same time i have been on a ton of dates and been with girls and i just don't feel like i will ever have that again
I guess it kinda hit me wierd because i used to be like him and i went for the girl that people treated like an object and the way i acted and looked at her really was different and she didn't appriate that. I am not really sure where i am going too much with this but the way he must have felt when we was with the only person in the world he's ever wanted to be with, it's like something came back after all these years and i had that feeling again for just a second and it's fucken crazy cause i don't know how to feel about that. I have spent the last few years not thinking i was able to have that feeling i kinda forgot how much i missed it. I have never felt so confused cause i loved it and i want to get it back, but at the same time i have been on a ton of dates and been with girls and i just don't feel like i will ever have that again