Here's one - a girlfriend watching him pace from a few yards away. She doesn't exactly have the courage to go talk to him, but if he happens to notice her and come over...
Well, she misses him. And she's got a little fessing up to do.
JD takes a moment to convince himself not to run away screaming, and then turns toward her, with a goofy wave.
He walks toward her quickly, channeling that nervous energy into a bouncy step, but when he reaches her... he's at a loss of what to say, and his feet stop moving so all that nervous energy rushes back to his head.
"Hey," April says faintly, her arms wrapped protectively around herself. She can't bring herself to look him in the eye, or even come close, so she just looks down at her bare feet and her chipped toenail polish.
"Um... I just... I'm sorry. A-about the other day."
"So am I." JD admits, and frowns when he sees that she won't meet his gaze. "I mean, I could've dealt with the whole situation better, instead of jumping to all those conclusions. I could've given you some time or something. I was... am just worried, s'all."
"April...? What's wrong?" JD approaches as she backs away. He reaches a hand out towards her. "You can tell me anything, April, you know that, right? Anything."
"I'm scared," she whispers, hugging herself tighter. "You'll... I'm scared you'll leave." She can't tell him, she can't, he'll leave her and she'll be alone and she can't lose him. She can't. She wouldn't have anything to hold on to.
"I wouldn't, April. I love you. I couldn't just walk away from you." JD walks closer to her. His arm is still outstretched. "I can't lose you, and I'm afraid that having these secrets will tear us apart."
They will, she knows they will, she's seen it happen. She had friends who had wonderful and amazing relationships that went to hell in a handbasket because of secrets like this.
It just... it hurts to admit, and it hurts to try to admit. No matter what he says, she's scared...
"I didn't mean to," she says, almost inaudibly, trembling. "I just... I was kind of drunk, a-and somebody offered and... and I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't..." She's crying, shaking, and some part of her is saying that he's going to leave now, that he's going to know being with her was a mistake.
That she's a mistake.
Sometimes we can never entirely shake the "truths" our parents pounded into our heads when we were young.
"Oh." Somehow he had known. He had convinced himself otherwise, but he'd been a doctor long enough to recognize the signs. He can't manage to be angry with her though when she looks so broken and when she's obviously been more angry with herself than he ever could be.
JD erases the remaining distance between them, and grabs hold of April's hand, wiping the tears from her eyes. "But you haven't had any more since then, right? It was just that once?"
"Just that once," she echoes, faintly, and clutches at JD's hand like a lifeline. She doesn't know why he's still here, why he hasn't left, and god, it seems too good to be true, that he's not going to, but maybe if she holds his hand just tight enough...
"Please don't leave," she whispers, brokenly, looking up at him for the first time. She looks so scared, so vulnerable - he's holding her heart, and he can crush it so very easily right now.
"God, April, of course not." The way she looks right now twists his heart up in a very painful way within his chest. JD moves close to her wrapping his arm around her waist, letting go of her hand so he can run his fingers up through hair and press her head gently against his chest. "I can't lose you, remember? I just can't. I love you. I'm staying right here with you. You hear me? With you."
JD holds her just as tightly, pressing kisses into her hair every chance he gets, and thanking every higher power that exists, karma, or whatever that has allowed her back in his arms again. "I know... I know, April. It's okay. Everything's all right."
His fingers slide from her waist to her back, massaging gently. She smells perfect. She smells like home. He's so grateful to be back.
April can hardly breathe, the combination of sobbing and relief and utter adoration is making it hard. This is safe. This is home. This is where she wants to spend the rest of her life and if she weren't a not-too-secret die-hard romantic, she'd ask him to marry her. She doesn't want to live without him. Not ever.
She can't speak, not through the sobs, but she manages to gasp out, "I love you."
All that matters is that she's back where she belongs.
"I love you too." He says softly into her hair, breathing her in. JD smiles faintly, wrapping his arm back around her waist, tightly. He slides his fingers through her hair and to her neck gently. "I missed you."
Well, she misses him. And she's got a little fessing up to do.
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JD takes a moment to convince himself not to run away screaming, and then turns toward her, with a goofy wave.
He walks toward her quickly, channeling that nervous energy into a bouncy step, but when he reaches her... he's at a loss of what to say, and his feet stop moving so all that nervous energy rushes back to his head.
"Uhm... Hey."
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"Um... I just... I'm sorry. A-about the other day."
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Maybe he shouldn't have jumped, but they weren't exactly wrong.
She opens her mouth, and tries to say it, but she can't. She just stands there, silent, and tries not to start crying.
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It just... it hurts to admit, and it hurts to try to admit. No matter what he says, she's scared...
"I didn't mean to," she says, almost inaudibly, trembling. "I just... I was kind of drunk, a-and somebody offered and... and I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't..." She's crying, shaking, and some part of her is saying that he's going to leave now, that he's going to know being with her was a mistake.
That she's a mistake.
Sometimes we can never entirely shake the "truths" our parents pounded into our heads when we were young.
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JD erases the remaining distance between them, and grabs hold of April's hand, wiping the tears from her eyes. "But you haven't had any more since then, right? It was just that once?"
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"Please don't leave," she whispers, brokenly, looking up at him for the first time. She looks so scared, so vulnerable - he's holding her heart, and he can crush it so very easily right now.
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But it's much much better.
She promptly clings to him as tightly as she can and starts sobbing. She's been bottling up her fear and guilt as much as she could, and now...
It's safe. So she can actually let it out.
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His fingers slide from her waist to her back, massaging gently. She smells perfect. She smells like home. He's so grateful to be back.
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She can't speak, not through the sobs, but she manages to gasp out, "I love you."
All that matters is that she's back where she belongs.
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