April is oblivious to the large number of people who are supposed to be dying soon. She's humming and sketching. A baby's hand in a mother's. Two sets of hands on a pregnant stomach
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JD walks down the stairs, unfortunately, not oblivious to the many dying people, because of this, seeing April is so incredibly relieving for him. He collapses next to her, leaning against her, and looking up at her with an expression that can easily be compared to a kicked puppy.
"You draw pretty doodles." Ignore the incoherency, please. He closes his eyes and presses his face against her shoulder. How do you talk about people dying? Really? It isn't the easiest topic to bring up, especially when e knows that Buffy and April are friends too. And he hasn't said that aloud to anyone yet.
Well. April's willing to put herself out there to cheer him up.
Maybe a reminder of life will make him forget about the death for a little while. She pulls her sketchbook back and flips back a few pages, to the beginning of her baby-and-pregnancy sketches. "Here."
The hands in the drawings are (when not baby-hands) very obviously hers and JD's.
"Oh. April." He flips through the pages, smiling, despite the tears that come to his eyes. It's just an overwhelming sense of emotion. A mixture of grief and absolute joy and excitement at this baby. Their baby. That they're having together and Buffy's dead or going to die and Steve is close to dying and... Baby.
"God, these... are beautiful. Thank you..." for sharing, for putting herself out there like that for him.
"Hey," she whispers, pressing a hand to his cheek. "Don't cry. I'm the one who's supposed to be hormonal, remember?" Her voice wobbles a little. She doesn't know why he's crying, but it's making her tear up. "Don't cry..."
"Sorry. I'm... sorry." JD closes his eyes, tightly, and wraps his arms around her. "But if... if I can't cry, you can't either. Kay?"
He swallows, hard.
"God. Buffy." JD forces the tears back, and the grief is replaced with broken bitterness. "Y'know, a stupid prophecy made her the slayer. And now another stupid prophecy... says she has to die."
His throat feels too closed up for him to formulate any more words right now.
"No. I... I'm not. I tried to stop her, but I... destiny and all that stupid shit. God, she's the bravest person I know... knew." He sighs and swallows as the broken ramble spills out of his lips. "I'm not... good at this... grief... thing. Not when it comes to her. Especially. She's so... young. She's like my little sister. You shouldn't have to bury your little sister."
April, suddenly, has a flash of guilt. Pity. She hadn't been close to her siblings, but none of them had been actively cruel to her. They had been kind to her, on occasion.
She wondered if they even knew she was dead.
"Maybe things'll be different," she whispers. "Maybe... maybe prophecies are like wishes. Lots of loop-holes and specificities and literalness."
"God, I hope so." JD presses his face into April's shoulder with a sharp sigh, breathing her in. "And Steve's... he's dying. It's over for him."
He used to be in denial over people dying, insisting that life was possible in the face of death, because he was so scared of it. Not anymore. "I saw him. I gave him some meds, but... he can't have more than a few months left."
"Yeah," JD nods, swallowing, his throat very tight, "I've got to be. Y'know? Anyway, he's the one that's... dying. It's just Jesus, so much... death so fast. I don't... I don't know what to do."
"Dying isn't nearly as hard on the people doing it as it is on their friends," April says. It sounds a little cliched, but it's very true. "Anyway, I'll... well, anything I can do to help. I mean it. You know that."
"Hey."
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"Hey, you." She kisses his hair.
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He's not quite ready to bring up all the dying, to bring that kind of paint to her, but he knows that he needs to, because he needs her right now.
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It's embarrassing. A little bit. And just... one of those thing that she doesn't like admitting to.
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"You draw pretty doodles." Ignore the incoherency, please. He closes his eyes and presses his face against her shoulder. How do you talk about people dying? Really? It isn't the easiest topic to bring up, especially when e knows that Buffy and April are friends too. And he hasn't said that aloud to anyone yet.
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Maybe a reminder of life will make him forget about the death for a little while. She pulls her sketchbook back and flips back a few pages, to the beginning of her baby-and-pregnancy sketches. "Here."
The hands in the drawings are (when not baby-hands) very obviously hers and JD's.
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"God, these... are beautiful. Thank you..." for sharing, for putting herself out there like that for him.
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He swallows, hard.
"God. Buffy." JD forces the tears back, and the grief is replaced with broken bitterness. "Y'know, a stupid prophecy made her the slayer. And now another stupid prophecy... says she has to die."
His throat feels too closed up for him to formulate any more words right now.
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That's not cool. That is... she can't... Buffy's just a kid, and... "Oh... god, JD, are you okay?"
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"No. I... I'm not. I tried to stop her, but I... destiny and all that stupid shit. God, she's the bravest person I know... knew." He sighs and swallows as the broken ramble spills out of his lips. "I'm not... good at this... grief... thing. Not when it comes to her. Especially. She's so... young. She's like my little sister. You shouldn't have to bury your little sister."
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She wondered if they even knew she was dead.
"Maybe things'll be different," she whispers. "Maybe... maybe prophecies are like wishes. Lots of loop-holes and specificities and literalness."
Oh, April. You don't know how right you are.
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He used to be in denial over people dying, insisting that life was possible in the face of death, because he was so scared of it. Not anymore. "I saw him. I gave him some meds, but... he can't have more than a few months left."
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"Oh god... Are you... how are you... are you gonna be okay?"
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She kisses him, softly.
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