Steve finishes a hurried prayer for forgiveness, 'cause he really doesn't like doing that, and sighs, looks over at Ben. "Hey. The damn door's gone is what's the matter."
Steve doesn't really realize that he hasn't, y'know, told anybody about this. Except for JD. He's been thinking about it so much lately that it's just... everybody knows, right?
"Oh." Ben says, setting it deep into the pile again, and raising an eyebrow up at Steve. "So you're kind of pulling a JD then? And running? ... it didn't work out to well for him. Just to let you know."
"Yeah, that's what he said." Steve laughs, shakily. "It's just... I've got a couple years left, if I'm lucky. And all I've been doing for the past two years is working and pining over him. And it's stupid, because he obviously doesn't give a shit anymore. I'd thought maybe..." he shakes his head. "Anyway, the point is that I just want to... get away from all the things that remind me of him. The memories. Maybe then I can have a little bit of a life before I die."
Ben looks at him... for a long time and doesn't say a word. He glances at a picture of Perry and then his eyes flick back up to gaze at Steve's face again.
"Yeah." His lips quirk into a sad, half smile. "I understand. The dying thing kind of puts everything else in perspective, huh? ... makes you realize how much time you wasted."
He flips through a stack of pictures on the table and sets them away.
"Yeah," Steve says, softly. "I just... I wish I knew what I'd done wrong. He wouldn't even answer me when I asked him. I've never known why he left, and it just..."
It hurts. God, it hurts. And he thought he'd gotten past it, but he hasn't, and that's obvious.
"Maybe he didn't have a reason. Or maybe he did and he figured that'd hurt worse than not knowing." He rolls his eyes at that, sticking Perry's stack of pictures in the box. "Who knows. It's tough when you're in love with a closed off bastard."
This is his daily check. Downstairs, jog to where he can see where the door should be... nothing.
"God dammit!"
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He hadn't ever really expected to hear that come out of Steve's mouth.
"Hey, Steve-o... somethin' the matter?"
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He places a picture of Juliet in the random strangers pile.
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Steve doesn't really realize that he hasn't, y'know, told anybody about this. Except for JD. He's been thinking about it so much lately that it's just... everybody knows, right?
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Ben stops with the picture placing and focuses all attention on Steve.
"You're moving? ...why?"
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Or, y'know, he could be completely running away from his issues.
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He hasn't ever told Ben his ex-boyfriend's name. It might surprise Ben a little to know he's met said ex-boyfriend.
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Could they be the same?
"Is that the same Gordon who's... here, too? He's... your Gordon?" Ex-wise or not, if a friend has had a thing with a man, he's considered off-limits.
Ben knows how much it hurts for a friend to do things with someone they know you're in love with.
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"Yeah." His lips quirk into a sad, half smile. "I understand. The dying thing kind of puts everything else in perspective, huh? ... makes you realize how much time you wasted."
He flips through a stack of pictures on the table and sets them away.
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It hurts. God, it hurts. And he thought he'd gotten past it, but he hasn't, and that's obvious.
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"Maybe he didn't have a reason. Or maybe he did and he figured that'd hurt worse than not knowing." He rolls his eyes at that, sticking Perry's stack of pictures in the box. "Who knows. It's tough when you're in love with a closed off bastard."
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