OWLS: Theo, Pansy, Narcissa, Malamute
Date: 25 July, 2001
Characters: Theo, Pansy, Mum, Maladjusted
Status: Private
Summary: Draco misses his friends more than Ron.
Completion: Complete
( To Theodore )
Characters: Theo, Pansy, Mum, Maladjusted
Status: Private
Summary: Draco misses his friends more than Ron.
Completion: Complete
( To Theodore )
I'm innocent, I tell you! Well, not really, but I've always wanted to say that... No, he didn't take the card away. Worse! He canceled the account! Now I have that bit of plastic to mock me whenever I want to shop. You'd be surprised at how good at mocking it is. I suspect your father charmed it...
How about half birthdays? I'd settle for that... Particularly since I've stopped paying attention to birthdays. I intend on being twenty for another decade or so. I refuse to get old! Wrinkles and grey hair, bah! Do you know what grey will look like as dark as my hair is? On men, they call it distinguished. On women, it's just...revolting!
You could tell Harry it was for me... Surely he knows you adore me enough to get me a man from time to time? No? Fine! He's off my good list! You tell him he better be extra specially wonderful to you to earn his way back to good! I expect glowing reports of how he's knocked your socks off...
Buzzing bits are no good. Padma came with porn. Do you know what it's like to watch porn with someone who's too nervous to do more than snog? I'm convinced she's trying to kill me.
Do you think your father may have hired Padma to torture and kill me? It sounds like a method he'd approve...
There are still things in the flat. I'm not sure if he's just storing stuff up there or if he lives up there. Honestly, I think he's gone invisible. Maybe we should hire a detective to try to locate him? Maybe Harry would like the job. I used to know a couple of detectives, but alas, they also have disappeared off the face of the earth.
That's what I get for shagging them, I guess...
Bah!
Pitiable Pansy
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He cancelled the account? How amusing. I'm starting to suspect that Harry is low on funds as he's shopping at discount outlets. Actually, the bigger shock is Harry shopping. But still, you see my point. It's worrisome.
Stop by Narcissus to get on a skincare regimen. There's nothing sadder than a 30-year-old woman protesting that people think she's 20. Seriously. Don't be that girl. Also, I do know what dark hair gone grey looks like. Severus is decaying poorly. I blame the dog. It's as revolting on men as on women.
I wonder if Padma goes missing if that means that you turn people invisible. That's quite a talent, really. I'd be quite impressed. We'd have to figure out how to market it, of course.
As for Michael... when I get there, I'm going to move his things and if he shows up and asks for them back, we'll know he exists. If not, then I'll assume he found somewhere else to live. What a bother. Remind me not to be nice again. This is exactly why I'm not. It goes so poorly.
Delectable Draco
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It was not amusing! It was embarrassing! I found out as I was trying to buy an inexpensive videotape. Only my quick hand at hexes got me out of the place without them cutting the card up! They had the gall to speak rudely to me and threaten to call security. They claimed the card was stolen! I shall blame your father for my grey hairs AND wrinkles!
Skincare regimen? Well, maybe that's not a bad idea, at that. Snape was good at his potions. He'd be horrified to know that his time was being spent keeping me young, wouldn't he? That almost makes it worthwhile...
Invisibile? Padma? Not possible. She's still fragile. Plus, I can't take the credit for Michael, either, as he never could seem to bring himself to shag me. So his invisiblity is not my fault...
Can I ogle you while you pack up Michael's things? I miss ogling you, you know...
Pansfection
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An inexpensive videotape of what? Was it more pornography? I'd be amused to think of you in an adult shop trying to get away from the clerks as they tell you that you aren't allowed to purchase your all anal orgy. I've the feeling that my father would find it amusing. When I return, we'll set up an account for you and a stipend for you to live off of.
Do you want to help me pack up Michael's things, or are you just hoping I'll bend over a lot? You know I'll just use magic, but if you want to see me bending over, perhaps I'll let you watch me practice yoga. Theo gives my routine rave reviews.
Snape's horrified by a load of things. But he gets paid, so I don't think he'll be too fussed. I've not heard from him in a while. I should probably owl... I'll do so when I'm back in town. Bother him for lunch or something. But don't get jealous. He doesn't get the yoga show.
Deliberate Draco
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It wasn't an all anal orgy, it was something more suited to my delicate tastes. Involving girls. I'd say more, but then you'd want me to kill you. And while I'm sure your father would get amusement from the predicament, I'd just as soon he not know.
However, if he wants me to describe anything I've seen or done in detail for his edification, I'd be happy to oblige. He probably could use the thrill.
Oh, I could help pack. I could even pack for you, but then I wouldn't get to see you so I think I'll stick with helping. Yoga's good, but I think you're supposed to focus your thoughts or something, and that never works well around me, you know...
Yeah, but I'd worry that he'd hex anything I'd use. He never liked me...only you. At least he had a modicum of taste...
Prissy Pansy
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