RP: In Maschera

[snobappeal]

Date: 22 July 2001
Characters: Terrence, Theo
Status: Private
Summary: Is it still a date if you don't go together?
Completion: Complete

Comments

[snobappeal]

Terrence had to keep reminding himself to breathe, even his body's autonomous actions failing him in the face of so much delicious tension. It was as if he could feel his pulse in every inch of his body as his heart struggled to keep pumping blood through his veins, and every nerve ending sang with awareness as a result. The little touches, the solidness of the knee pressed against his, the barest caress of the arm against his shoulders -- it was all enough to make him lose his mind. His vision blurred from the lack of oxygen, and as he opened his mouth to inhale, he felt Theodore's foot sliding against his; he sucked in a sharp breath that made his chest burn, and exhaled it on a quietly throaty, shuddering moan as their legs pressed against each other and Theodore's warmth seeped into his already-burning skin, making him feel nigh feverish with desire.

He wanted. He couldn't remember wanting anything as badly as he wanted Theodore, not in an extremely long time, if ever, and he was certain Theodore had to know it, if not from the way he flushed darkly and shivered at his every touch, then at the scent of arousal he was certain clung to his skin and curled into every breath.

The set was a place of execution, dark cutouts of graves and gallows set against a red background and the stage bathed in crimson light, and the hero and heroine stood in the middle of it all confessing their forbidden love to each other in a passionate duet. If that wasn't dramatic, Terrence wasn't sure what was. And yet, it all seemed so...empty. Without life, without vitality, without energy. Despite being played out beautifully, it was just that -- a play-acted version of intense desire. And compared with what he was feeling right now, the electricity crackling tangibly between their bodies, it was nothing at all.

He blinked once, heavily, and when his eyes opened again, they slid languidly from the stage to fix unwaveringly on Theodore's face. Now it was his turn to stare straight ahead, to conceal his interest in faux-fascination with the goings on of Gustave and Amelia, and Terrence's turn to watch him, to study the high, chiseled cheekbones, the refinedly strong line of his jaw, the set of his mouth, the throb of his pulse visible in the veins branching visibly beneath the translucent skin of his long, elegant neck, and, of course, the millions of things flashing in the impossible darkness of his eyes.

Terrence drew a nervous breath, feeling his prick swell further still, and uncurled his fist from his lap, moving it slowly across to rest atop Theodore's leg just above his knee, fingers curving inward against the firm flesh of his inner thigh and thumb stroking gently across the long, lean quadricep muscle at the place where it joined Theodore's knee..

[nottanaddict]

Theo could feel Terrence's gaze on him, studying him, and he flushed slightly under the scrutiny. Still, he kept his eyes firmly on the action onstage, determined to survive the second act if it took all his will. Then Terrence's hand was on his leg, fingers on his thigh...

A tremor tore through him followed by a sigh of longing. His skin felt like it was on fire where Terrence touched him, the heat seeping through fabric and into his bones. He shifted slightly and straightened his posture, sitting perfectly still and giving Terrence tacit permission to touch him as he would. Perhaps if he didn't object or react, then they could both pretend nothing was happening, and it wouldn't matter what they did.

For all that he was staring at the principals as though mesmerised, he knew he wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow. Tomorrow, all that would remain was the lingering sense memory of Terrence's touches. That was all that mattered.

[snobappeal]

His embarrassed blush just would not quit -- the proper gentleman, shy and oft-introverted, taking advantage of the company of a complete stranger just because he'd hypnotised him with his body, his voice, his eyes. He was so beautiful, Terrence thought, drinking in the sight of him like fine wine, the rosy tinge to porcelain cheeks enough to make a growl of desire catch in his throat as he thought of that flush spreading downward, across throat and chest and...

Terrence was not normally aggressive, and especially not outside of the realm of athletic competition, but something about Theodore brought out an irrepressible desire to just...ruthlessly pursue what he wanted, and when Theodore didn't object, his subtle movements permissive without being openly inviting or wanton, he found himself unable to resist slipping his hand a little bit further up Theodore's leg, feeling the muscle flex beneath his palm, fingers still brushing the flesh just firmly enough to be felt. Part of him wanted to bypass this, to remove his hand entirely and put it where he really wanted it, but this...in some ways this was even better, the slow progression toward what apparently they both wanted, and he wanted to draw it out as long as was humanly possible. Moreover, he wanted to see whether Theodore would react and attempt to regain the upper hand, as it were, whether he would want to touch Terrence the same way Terrence was touching him or whether they would escalate, pushing each other inexorably closer to the inevitable, neither one willing to take that last step...

Something about Theodore made him bold, and it was that same something that curved his lips into a small, secret smile as he tore his gaze away from Theo's face and once again turned his attention to the stage, thumb still moving in steady slow swipes against his tensed muscle and calf pressed to calf, but no further attempt made.

[nottanaddict]

Theo let Terrence touch him, enjoying it all in a way he couldn't remember ever having enjoyed such subtle, almost-innocent touches. It was very like being young and naive and overexcited by everything. Of course, Theo'd never been young and naive. There were a lot of things he'd never been. It was rather nice getting a taste.

As Terrence's attention rejoined his to focus on the performance, Theo's arm settled more fully against Terrence's shoulders. He squeezed very gently, an almost proprietary embrace. Then, without looking away from the stage, Theo's hand shifted from upper arm to hair, his fingers tangling idly in the bottoms of the curls and tugging. His leg pressed harder against Terrence's, calf sliding against Terrence's deliberately as his quadricep bunched and flowed under Terrence's hand.

[snobappeal]

Terrence let out a hitched breath, eyelids fluttering and head tilting toward Theodore's grip in his hair. Theodore had found one of his weak spots, and it was all he could do not to purr as he moved his head, first toward Theodore's grip, and then, once he was certain Theodore had laced his fingers firmly in his hair, away from his grip so the hair caught and pulled tight.

A soft, breathless moan bubbled to his lips and hovered there for a moment before spilling free, spine arching with it as if his body was an accordion. His fingers tightened against Theodore's thigh, nails pressing into the flesh a bit, and then relaxed as his hand curved further over his leg to hook the tips of his fingers beneath it. He moved his thumb in slow, overlapping arcs, exploring the firm contours of muscle and tendon, as he slid his hand gradually further up.

On stage, the identity of the veiled woman -- Amelia -- was about to be discovered, much to her husband's dismay and humiliation, but Terrence wasn't paying attention anymore, was barely even aware of the passage of time or the change in volume as the music switched betwee recitative and aria and chorus. The feel of Theodore's hand in his hair was like heaven, the muscle flexing beneath his palm doubly so, and he drew in a shaky breath as he shifted his foot back, then thought better of it, and carefully slipped his foot out of his shoe before hooking his foot behind Theodore's calf and beginning to slide socked toes up his leg.

[nottanaddict]

Theo stiffened and shifted, surprised and delighted at Terrence's behaviour. Tugging more sharply at Terrence's hair, he pulled his head to one side, then leaned in and let his mouth hover just beside Terrence's ear, taking especial pains not to touch. His breath curled against Terrence's skin and flowed back warmly against his mouth.

"You, sir, are entirely too bold," Theo whispered soft as a breath. His mouth moved lower, stilling in the air just above Terrence's throat. "I do hope you weren't terribly interested in staying for the third act, because I daresay you shall make me lose control in quite short order. There isn't a doubt at all in my mind that I should get us both expelled from the Royal Opera for life before the intermission's even ended..."

Theo could feel eyes on them, disapproving and curious, but the second act was very nearly over. If Terrence would just--

"I want you, Mr Higgs," Theo whispered more urgently, letting his mouth finally brush Terrence's skin just for a moment. "If you would consent to leave with me, I should find us proper rooms for the night... We could have drinks. I promise I shouldn't do anything you might find... distasteful. I shall be an utter gentleman if only you'll say yes..."

[snobappeal]

Another moan strangled from Terrence's throat, this one verging on audible to more than those immediately present; fortunately, the music swelled to a cadence just at that moment, Amelia's voice soaring into coloratura range accompanied by Anckarström and the conspirators, and his voice was lost to the pull of the crescendo.

At this point, though, Terrence hardly cared if the whole sodding house heard him. The brush of warm breath against his skin, the ghost of damp lips that were so close but not quite touching, the fingers tight and almost demanding in his hair...he was completely lost to them, to the intensity and want radiating from the man sitting beside him, and to the feelings evoked within his own person.

He sucked in a breath, feeling the heat that had been slowly licking away at his insides begin to blaze hotter, kindling catching the flame and sending a spike of arousal coursing through his body in a wave. Innocent little games were all well and good, but this was the point of no return now, and if he--

Oh, hell with it.

He turned his head suddenly, using Theodore's fingers to pull his hair sharply as he came nose-to-nose with him, staring straight into his eyes and breathing in short, sharp bursts. He stayed there for a long, silent moment as though suspended in time, every millisecond pulling his muscles that much more taut, and then he smiled, a curve of lips that was nothing like the tiny, shy smile he'd given Theodore earlier on. "Well, Mr Nott," he murmured, "I certainly should not wish to lose you your excellent standing at the Royal Opera. That would simply be inexcusible. I should think then that our only recourse is to depart post haste and find somewhere more...suitable where we can continue our...conversation. Gentleman to gentleman, of course, as though we are friends."

The fire flashing in his eyes contrasted sharply with the near-painful thudding of his heart, the tension twisting his spine, the logical parts of his brain screaming what are you doing?! at him as loudly as they could in an attempt to break through the haze of sudden, highly improper forwardness. He never did this, and he didn't actually know what "this" entailed, exactly, but damned if he was going to sacrifice the opportunity to find out.

He stared at Theodore for one more breathless moment before leaning back to a more respectable distance, the palpable tension between them diminishing not a jot but retreating slightly to a more manageable simmer. "I must confess," he added, a hint of the shyness creeping back into his tone along with the blush staining his cheeks, "if this is what you consider being an utter gentleman, then I very much look forward to a long evening of...gentlemanly conversation."

[nottanaddict]

The look Theo gave Terrence then was almost hurt and almost angry, but somehow managed to be neither. He withdrew as well, taking up his hat and cane in preparation for the ending moments of the second act. The hat he placed on his head firmly, tilting it at a dashing angle; the cane he gripped tightly in one hand.

"If you do not consider this behaviour gentlemanly, I do apologise," Theo hissed, careful to be certain his voice wouldn't carry and ruin the climactic moments unfurling onstage as the act closed. "Perhaps I do flatter myself too much."

The lights came up and patrons across the theatre rose to stand on queue for the loo or refreshments. Polite applause scattered across the audience. Theo stared at Terrence fiercely in the reprieve from shadows.

"Perhaps I have a different standard of decorum than yours, Mr Higgs. If I cross a line, I do hope you shall inform me at once so that I may rectify the situation. I am sometimes admittedly... too much the voluptuary."

[snobappeal]

Terrence stared back at Theodore, blue eyes enormous and shining with confusion tempered with a hint of hurt. He didn't know what it was that he'd said wrong, and he bit his lip hard, trying to school his scattered thoughts into some semblance of coherence, a difficult enough task without the violent arousal still coursing through his system.

"I believe..." he said deliberately, as his understanding began to fall into place, "that you may have misunderstood my meaning, Mr Nott. I did not mean to imply that your behaviour is anything less than perfection, and if I have done so, I am truly sorry. I simply wished to...to reference the difference between the overly restrained gentlemen of my acquaintance and what you are of-- offering."

He stood then, moving closer to Theodore, eyes glowing with the feeling of what he was saying. "Inspiring. I have...never met anyone like you, Theodore, someone who could arouse such...intense feelings in me while still maintaining such exquisite manner and decorum. In fact, I have never met anyone who could inspire such intense feelings in me at all. The gentlemen with which I am acquainted are all extremely...insouciant, and reserved to the point of being callow, as they -- w-we -- hide behind...rules and etiquette and adhere so strongly to the textbook way of doing things that it becomes a shield rather than a living. Perhaps then they are well-mannered and highly proper, but they have no vitality. They feel nothing. I f-feel...nothing."

Terrence wasn't acting anymore, and he knew it, could feel it in the hot sting of tears prickling his eyes that he stubbornly refused to acknowledge. He hadn't been able to articulate this the first time around, and it had led to so many misunderstandings and so much heartache. This time, though, this Terrence, this renewed iteration of his old self as he had been when Theo'd met him, was determined to make this Theodore understand, to learn from Terrence's mistakes so that this "relationship" had the chance of a smoother sailing. Perhaps it was twisted logic, but Terrence needed this so badly he could feel it aching deep in his chest.

He stopped in front of Theodore, as close as he felt he could safely get without spooking him, and then dropped to his knees in front of Theodore's chair. "I don't want to live a textbook life, Theodore," he whispered almost pleadingly. "That isn't me. But I don't know any other way to be. And then you..."

He looked up at him, blue eyes wide and naked in his still-flushed face, curls tumbling wildly to his shoulders, the fabric of his suit doing nothing to hide the lines of his body and the prominent outline of his cock. "You make me feel so much at once," he breathed. "Just looking into your eyes makes me want as I've never wanted before. I wanted you the moment I saw you sitting over there."

[nottanaddict]

Terrence had made Theo nearly incoherent; he'd not expected anything like so passionate a response. More than even being deeply moving on an immediate level, the words touched something so deep inside him that he'd forgotten its existence. He hadn't recalled it was there until it began to glow warm and send a flush crashing over his skin.

In the part of his mind that wasn't a stranger to Terrence, in the part of his soul that wasn't invested in this persona, Theo realised that this was what he'd waited for in vain at the beginning of their relationship. Back when he'd had to fight so hard for every little victory, when Terrence had maddened him and resisted him and given nothing back... this had been what he wanted. And this was his Terrence, that Terrence, but... articulate and bold in a way his Terrence had never been.

And he realised slowly that this Terrence was saying the things his Terrence had never been able to, though he wanted to. This was all how it had been meant to go. And perhaps his Terrence had wanted him. Perhaps he had thought these things at the very beginning and never had means to express it. Perhaps he'd fought it, but it had been real, and perhaps Theo'd...

Theo became suddenly, painfully aware of all the people in the box he'd been meant to occupy staring at them covertly. He looked down at Terrence's kneeling form and realised how terrible it must look... how incredible it looked. Taking Terrence's hand, Theo pulled him to his feet and looked into his eyes without bothering to hide anything he was feeling.

"Let's get out of here, shall we?" Theo whispered in his ear, letting their cheeks rest together for a lingering moment as Terrence's curls tickled his face. "I've a carriage, if you wish to ride with me..."

[snobappeal]

A delicious thrill ran through Terrence's body both at the knowledge that dozens of people were watching them and knew exactly what they were getting up to and at the realisation that not only did he not care, but he also wanted them to. He shivered at the brush of skin against his, the lips just touching the shell of his ear, the low honeyed promise melted into that voice, and smiled breathlessly as he pulled back, eyes gleaming with everything he was feeling. "I should love that," he murmured without a moment's hesitation, tightening his fingers against Theodore's for a moment before letting his hand drop and moving to collect his hat and to let Theodore lead the way.

They slipped through the curtains of the box and into the throng of people; Terrence was sharply aware of several pairs of eyes on them, most notably Arthur's, accompanied by a knowing smile, and his cheeks burned hotter still even as his head lifted just a fraction, an imperious headtilt that said he'd every right to be doing whatever he wanted to be doing, thanks ever so. Beneath that, he felt nervousness and excited anticipation coiling through his system at the thought of what he was about to do, what they were about to do. And beneath even that, in the deepest vestiges of mind and heart, he felt relief and real happiness that he had been given the opportunity for a second chance at a first impression. He could only imagine how much he had hurt Theo in the start with his priggish behaviour and constant, almost willful attempts at propriety, and he still felt terribly guilty about having practically forced Theo to be the instigator in all things. He always told Theo that he wasn't the bad guy, but he'd made him feel like it, the evil wicked lech who'd preyed on the innocent little socialite, though that hadn't been the case at all. He'd just been too deliberately restrained to show Theo how he really felt.

But now he had the chance to remedy that, and, judging by the look in Theo's eyes as he'd looked up at him from the floor, begging him to believe him, he'd made a fairly decent start of it.

Theodore's tall, commanding persona cleared a path through the milling crowds quite easily, Terrence's more compact figure following closely in his wake, and he felt feverish as the press of bodies and the dull roar surrounding them only served to build his arousal and anticipation that much further until the heat of it was nearly repressive. He felt positively desperate for a breath of fresh air, and for the touch of what seemed like the one body that wasn't touching him just now, and he pushed on, breathing shallowly and feeling quite dizzy as they slipped through the throngs and finally outside into the cool evening air.

[nottanaddict]

Theo reached for Terrence's hand as they slipped into the carpark. He didn't presume to twine their fingers, only wrapped his hand around Terrence's smaller one and set off at a good clip towards where he'd left the Phaeton. It wasn't as though he couldn't call it to him, but right now he wanted to have this excuse to walk with Terrence, to stretch his legs and hold Terrence's hand and steal little glances at him in the harsh glare of outdoor flourescent lighting.

Theo didn't speak, too afraid of breaking the spell. It seemed amazing that Terrence had left with him without even waiting for the end of the opera. It seemed more amazing still that Terrence had consented to accompany him to a hotel.

Part of Theo wanted to ask if Terrence understood what this meant. Perhaps some of the subtleties of the situation were lost on him. Perhaps he didn't fully realise to what he'd agreed...

Stealing another glance at Terrence, Theo stopped and then turned to look at him fully. They stood beneath a lamppost, bathed in an ugly, spectral glow that did nothing to hide the hunger so plain on both their faces. Theo's tongue wetted his lips as his pulse and respiration sped and his hand tightened on Terrence's.

"Are you quite certain about this?" he asked softly. "I should not wish to cause undue gossip. If you like, we could... go back inside, wait until the end of the opera, perhaps attend an afterparty and... get to know one another at a more leisurely pace?"

[snobappeal]

Terrence's hand flexed in Theodore's grip, that simple touch sending tingles up his arm and making him feel nearly giddy with it. He could hardly believe this was happening, but he wanted so badly that--

He blinked as they stopped, studying the expression on Theodore's face, solicitous mixed with curiosity and a hint of repressed hope beneath all the want. Terrence knew this wasn't simply politeness, that Theodore wanted to be genuinely certain that Terrence was certain, and really, that only made him more certain that this was exactly what he wanted.

His hand tightened in Theodore's, and he smiled, eyes gleaming. "I am," he murmured, perfect honesty in his voice. "Very certain."

He paused a moment, feeling the flush that he was now certain was permanent begin to darken again. "I am not... I haven't...done this, really, and I'm not entirely certain how to...comport myself, but...but I know I want this. I want you. And while I...do not object to the prospect of getting to know you better, and over a longer period of time, I don't believe that the two must be mutually exclusive."

[nottanaddict]

Theo blushed faintly and smiled a little.

"Right then. Shall we?" Theo asked, gesturing to the Phaeton parked not far away.

At Terrence's nod, Theo leaned in quickly and kissed his cheek, the merest brush of soft, damp lips, then squeezed his hand and closed the distance to the carriage. He helped Terrence in, then climbed in beside him and took a deep breath.

"'s just up the street... Could walk there, ackshally..." Theo muttered, a rosy stain spreading over his face and throat as he contemplated what he was doing. "I don't gen'rally do this either, Mr Higgs. I tend to..."

Theo trailed off and directed the Phaeton up the way to the hotel. It took only a minute for them to arrive, and Theo still hadn't sorted out exactly what he'd intended to say to Terrence. He took another few moments to park the Phaeton inconspicuously somewhere Muggles couldn't accidentally happen upon it despite disillusionment charms. Then he sat back against the luxe leather seat and turned his face to look into Terrence's.

"I'm quite straight, 's all," Theo said softly, gazing directly into Terrence's eyes and willing him to understand. "I generally don't... with gentlemen. It's only that you're so gorgeous and so full of... something indefinable that I know I need. I can't help thinking that if I don't act on this... whatever it is -- lust maybe? Maybe something deeper -- that I shall always regret it. I looked at you, and I saw something I lack -- something that I don't think I can live without, that I don't want to live without."

Theo inhaled slowly and then leaned in closer as his tongue flashed over his lips again leaving them slightly parted and shining faintly in the dull ambient light.

"There's something so special in you, Terrence Higgs," Theo whispered, moving in gradually enough to allow Terrence to pull away if he wanted. "I feel as though I've been waiting all my life for just a... taste of it..."

[snobappeal]

Terrence could barely breathe, overwhelmed by the reality of what they were doing, the proximity of the hotel and, in it, the room they were going to share, the bed they were going to... It was nothing like what he was used to, and so new and exciting that he thought he might fly apart at the seams before Theodore even really touched him. And then Theodore was looking at him like that, and he was...

Theodore's confession that he was straight took him entirely aback. He'd assumed, by the intensity and determinedness of Theodore's attention toward him, that this wasn't unfamiliar to him. The admission that it was made his arousal burn even hotter, that he, specifically, could have such an effect on someone who normally didn't even have an inclination toward men at all. Any feeling of shy modesty at what might have been purported flattery was completely dissolved by the honesty in Theodore's face and radiating from every line of his body as he shifted closer, and Terrence found himself hypnotised by Theodore's desire, the feeling escalated by the knowledge that it was as unfamiliar to Theodore as it was to himself.

Had Theodore been anyone else, Terrence's eyes would have been fixed on his lips, the way they glistened invitingly, the way they parted just a fraction more the closer they got... But he couldn't tear his gaze from Theodore's eyes, the millions of things he saw burning there making him hungry for more, to dive inside him and untangle them and learn each one individually. There was a whole world there, in his eyes, and Terrence wanted to live there, for as long as Theodore would let him.

"W...well then," he breathed, his nervousness and complete lack of familiarity with all of this overtaken by the boldness Theodore continued to inspire in him, "I think...you've waited quite long enough."

And with that, he leaned forward, closing the last bit of distance between them to press his lips against Theodore's with a soft, pleased sigh.

[nottanaddict]

Theo utterly melted into Terrence, sliding closer across the bench seat until his side pressed against Terrence's. His lips moved over Terrence's gently, encouragingly, and as they kissed the need for more grew until he couldn't resist teasing his tongue into Terrence's mouth to taste him. A shiver tore through him as his top hat fell to the floorboard. He released his grip on his cane then, abandoning any pretense that he could control himself and letting it fall with a clatter. His arms moved hesitantly to wrap around Terrence, one hand sliding up his back to tug at his curls and the other cradling the back of his head as Theo's tongue delved into his mouth again and again and their bodies crushed closer.

"I need you soon," Theo mumbled against his mouth. "I can't..."

His mouth opened and closed silently as he swallowed hard and tried to drag himself together. Pulling away to look into Terrence's so-blue eyes, he caught his breath and gently stroked the outline of Terrence's full, satiny lips with his thumbtip. His gaze flickered between Terrence's eyes and Terrence's mouth as though he had no control over it at all.

"If I get a room... will you stay the night with me?"