[000][resources]
[series]: Junjou Romantica
[character]: Hiroki Kamijo
[character history / background]:
Hiroki Kamijo is the childhood friend of Usami Akihiko, having lived directly across the Usami mansion. At some point of time, Hiroki eventually developed romantic feelings for Akihiko which was definitely unrequited.
He aspires to be a professor of Japanese Literature and has a very deep obsession with amassing as many books as possible; books that he loves, that is. As a result of this special love for books, Hiroki's apartment is filled with mountains and mountains of books.
[ wiki page for Junjou Romantica || here ]
[character abilities]: The ability to carry many, many, many books at one time ♥
Also, the ability to toss anything at unsuspecting, and daydreaming, students. ♥
[character personality]:
Hiroki is a very prideful person, and as a result, he finds it difficult to simply admit his own weaknesses. He has to be coaxed, forced, and pried open, perhaps even broken down, before he can finally admit to the more delicate side of his person.
He tends to do the complete opposite of what he says, as a result of his pride, but this is more because of his inborn fear of being seen as a much nicer person than he normally is. He doesn't want anyone to expect him to be nice all the time, and the feeling of being expected to be nice is something of a burden to him. He also is very, very, aware of his bad points.
Hiroki is loyal to his friends and the people he cares about, most importantly Kusama Nowaki, his lover. Despite Nowaki's very sudden disappearance from his life for a year, Hiroki remains unattached, in wait for Nowaki even if his lovers' return was uncertain.
Finally, Hiroki can be brutally honest with his opinions (and thoughtless at the same time), to the point that he can seem cruel and sadistic. However, more often than not, this is a side-effect of having a strong sense of values and amazing ability to absent-mindedly multitask at the same time. His "encouragement" for Nowaki to study abroad is one example of this; being busy with a paper, he gave Nowaki a very logical answer to his dillemma automatically, and later on conviniently forgot about it being that his mind had been focused on his paper instead.
[point in timeline you're picking your character from]: Volume 4, Junjou Egoist Act 9.
[journal post]:
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I WANT THE IDIOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS TO STEP UP AND ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY!
...HOW THE HELL DID I END UP NOT BEING IN JAPAN ANYMORE?
[third person / log sample]:
Kamijo Hiroki was not in a good mood. So, sure, it had been extremely short-sighted of him to buy so many books so suddenly (again) and then to expect his trek home to be relatively free of any problem, but still, it was a chance that had to be grabbed instantly! Those books, no, a volume of two of that particular series might be sold out tomorrow (again), and so it was just perfectly, and absolutely, right of him to buy them all now, not later, not tomorrow, and most definitely not until Nowaki or someone else had a day off so he could ask them to help carry books for him!
There were no buts! Hiroki conceded that his choice of buying all twenty volumes of that particular series in one go was completely normal, justified, and absolutely correct!
Of course, this had happened before too, and with that time having gone relatively well, and with him being completely capable of getting home in relatively one piece (Shinoda's help not included), Hiroki was confident that he was going to make it in one piece too, this time.
However, if those towering, and very unfamiliar, buildings he spied on atop his huge pile of books were any indication, Hiroki had just a tiny suspicion that he was not going to have an experience relative to the ones he'd had before after splurging on a whole load of books.
"Did I just get off the wrong freaking stop?" Hiroki couldn't resist hissing angrily when he finally decided enough walking was enough walking for now, and that it was time to stop and think about what kind of situation he'd inavertedly gotten himself into.
"T-those buildings don't even look famil--" he cut himself off as he followed where does towering buildings actually ended and found that they were really, really, really tall. He stared, and gaped, and broke sweat. "HOW TALL ARE THOSE THINGS?" something yelled in panic in his mind, but he was thankfully too dumbfounded to actually say anything.
A part of him suggested he could have somehow ended up finally being sucked into one of the books he'd bought and... this was the end result, but he vehemently beat that suggestion out of his mind. One, he was twenty-eight-years old, and an assistant professor to boot! A fully grown man like him should not, and could not, be entertaining such childish thoughts anymore! So maybe, he did entertain fantasies like that when he was a lot younger, but whoever granted it now was twenty bloody years late!
"WHY AM I EVEN THINKING LIKE THIS?!" Hiroki cried suddenly, and would have run his hands through his hair in frustration if they weren't weighed down by five books that didn't fit into the paper bags he'd been provided.
So, Hiroki stood there, books and all, looking unbeknowest to him, like one very lost duck.
[semi wangstiness]
"That idiot..." Hiroki mumbled to himself as he entered their apartment and shrugged off his shoes. The lights were off, and by the look of things, nobody but him had been home until now. The first thing he did was check for any randomly left notes with some hastily written one-liner on it about having to leave for days. He had meant to just check the area by the door only - because, really, any sane man who wants his note to be read ASAP would think of putting it there - but in the end, he ended up checking the whole apartment just in case Nowaki had somehow, amazingly, forgotten and left it somewhere so obscure only Hiroki, being Hiroki, would find it.
There was none, and the feeling of failure paired with the distinct awareness that yes, he bloody went through an extra length for nothing was utterly despicable.
Still, it was nothing compared to that small nagging feeling that Nowaki was going to be gone for a very long while again. Even if he knew Nowaki wouldn't be that much of an idiot to disappear from his life without a note or any sort of warning again, you couldn't possibly wipe off that fear completely, especially if it had happened before. Nevermind the successful patching up, the make-up... session and all that. (Not to mention the fact that it had been his fault in the first place.)
Hiroki felt the heat rise up to his cheeks as he remembered that particular episode in the University library. And to counter it, he instinctively whipped out his cellphone and angrily yelled at it.
"YOU IDIOT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE GONE FOR JUST A DAY MORE, LEAVE A DAMN NOTE-" he gripped the cellphone just a bit tighter and added defeatedly in a hiss, "And dammit, I told you to get a bloody cellphone and you're just... too, damn... stubborn."
Finally, he decided to concede to defeat. "I'm an idiot," he muttered as he wandered dejectedly to the nearest seat and sat on it. He sighed and then pressed an arm on top of his eyes, with a very conscious reminder of course that he was not going to cry over something so little. Nowaki might even be on his way home from work right now; why was he even so bloody worried?
Even more importantly, was he supposed to have a near-breakdown like this everytime Nowaki failed to tell him where he was at and when he was going to get home? It wasn't like Nowaki was a kid anymore, even if he was younger than him by four whole years. And even so, he wasn't exactly Nowaki's keeper. He was the guy's' lover, but in the end, he couldn't possibly expect to monopolize Nowaki like that and expect the other party to give him a live update of everyday events and...
"Not even going there..." Hiroki growled and decided he'd had enough moping for today. He was just going to go and yell at Nowaki, or something, when he got home. Maybe, not yell, but Nowaki was sure as hell going to get his ass reprimanded... with subtlety! Of course, he wasn't about to let Nowaki in on the fact that he just had a minor breakdown like this, over something so small! For a twenty-year-old, Devil Teacher, that would be utter humiliation.
"I'm going to ask him if he went drinking with any of his colleagues... if he bloody went ahead and got some random floozy hanging all over him and for some reason he couldn't leave the random drunk floozy alone until he was her apartment and had fulfilled his bloody, screw-it, gentlemanly duties."
That sounded good; Hiroki nodded to himself.
All that was needed now was to wait for Nowaki.
[ultra wangst mode from the one year Nowaki-lessness]
Hiroki told himself he was not counting the days at all. However a quick glance of the abused calendar by the front door answered the traitorous question in his head; 210 days. Kusama Nowaki, the "stray kitten", he'd picked up (or rather, who had picked him) had been gone for that long if the hastily scribbled notes on the small date squares of how he was going to slowly torture, yell, and anything else that came to mind, were any indication.
As he coldly tore his gaze from the abused calendar - and he did so with a mental note about trashing it or probably taking it to the University to watch it whimper as the expensive shredder in his shared office with Miyagi-sensei swallowed it whole - he told himself today was the day and that he certainly was going to start working on a fresh start. The optimistic promise to himself evaporated in less that a minute as he shamefully reminded himself of how many damned times he'd promised that to himself exactly. Too many damned times. Everyday, he told himself he was going to ditch the younger man and find himself a better man, preferably someone as old, or older than him, or well, just someone who wasn't four whole years younger than him despite being obviously taller! However, everytime, like now, there would be that small voice; you have to write him a letter or something, don't you?
And that was the clincher; because he had no idea where on earth Kusama Nowaki had disappeared into and he sure as hell wasn't insane enough to scour the whole New York to find the man just to tell him he wanted to break up with him.
There was that other option of moving out of their apartment and changing phone numbers; basically cutting off ties with Nowaki completely just as he'd seemingly evaporated off his life, but Hiroki could never find enough willpower to do something as bold as that. He hated to admit it, he would never vocally admit to anyone, but... he did want Nowaki to come back.
Heck, he couldn't even find enough boldness to cry to Akihiko for comfort. Not that he made a habit of crying in front of Akihiko, or even wanted any comforting from his friend, but just the thought of going to the one man he knew Nowaki would most probably hate knowing he ran to (Akihiko being his first, very unrequited love, after all)... made Hiroki needlessly guilty, before anything else. Even he had to admit it was silly, but there it was, an feeling that he had to stick by Nowaki until both of them could get some needed closure. Even if it hurt.
What was he supposed to do? How long was he supposed to wait? Hiroki hadn't a clue of how long he was going to be like this.
"I wonder if I've gone insane," he mumbled and by then he had torn the calendar off the wall and had it crushed in his palm. He pushed the glasses he wore for when he taught upwards, but really, he could already feel the annoying tears welling up there. "Maybe if I just really find someone else then I can forget all this, huh?"
But he knew the answer to that.
Even so, the calendar was definitely getting it today.