My run in with the crazies (and the nice)
Is it because it's spring? I mean, the climate changes have been severe. I'm talking 6℃ jumping to 20℃ kind of severe. Whether weather was what wrought it around, I do not know, but yes lately, it seems the crazies and weird have been on the rise. Some of them have been cause to both alertness and awareness of self, for me.
( Let's start with Russian )
( Let's start with Russian )
Wheeee that's great that you guys are actually keeping in touch! :D He sounds like quite a character. XD I kind of get how you feel. I have a friend from school (met her in year 7 or so) who's always been super-career-focused and she recently completed her Master's degree while I've always been like "never work more than absolutely necessary" and otherwise indulging in my daydreams of becoming a musician. But I was there when she got the letter saying she had passed her Master's degree and as I watched her do the happy dance, I thought: "...hm, maybe I've done something wrong in life..." XD But eh. We all have our own priorities and we should remember them. :3
Haha oh boy, I know the having the best retorts once the person has left thing. XD Later I think up such good lines, I get genuinely upset over missing the chance to throw them at the person in question. XD I met this girl at the pub the other night and she got pretty "hands-on" very quickly, like nudging me in the side/belly area? NOBODY touches my belly except maybe my boyfriend. -_- First I tried to avoid her, but it turns out she's really nice, just... well, apparently not accustomed to personal space. XD But stuff like that really puts me off at first. It's important to stand your ground and say when you don't want someone to do something to you, so yeah, we both need to get good at that. :3
Ooooooh and yay for "Artifact"! Wasn't it great??? I'm so glad you liked it!!! It's so well-made and it totally had you trembling for Jared & co. And it's very insightful as well!
AND YES OMG OMG DIR EN GREY TOUR *head explodes* FOUR WEEKS LEFT MY BODY IS NOT READY!!!! DDDD8 Ahahah I'm being a total idiot and going to three concerts (Berlin, Dortmund and Eindhoven). Most I've ever gone to during one tour is two so I'm out-fangirling myself big time here. XD ARCHE LIVE!!!!!!
...ARE YOU GOING? BC MAYBE WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER AND SAY HI AND THAT WOULD BE AWESOME 8DDD
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That's right, it's about the priorities. You could have a ton of master degrees, but if it's not what you want nor like to do, then it's worth nothing in the end. If music makes you happy, then pursue it. You might end up a poor beggar somewhere (like Jared ;D) but at least you'd be happy. No regrets. So go all out there and do your thing. :3 And also... some people just have to focus on work or a career to feel like they're worth something, like they achieved something. I'm taking a big leap here, but you seem to be a bit more like me in that regard - you might feel more accomplished when you create something, let your muses go, live. I can't flourish with a ton of things in my back stabbing me because they need to be done. I need lots of time to myself additionally to that lol, so basically, I might already have come to terms with that unless I get super lucky it's unlikely I'll end up with lots of money on my own and a relaxed laid back life in luxury... x'D OR WHO KNOWS! We might all get really famous and get that villa or... idk x'D a few cats in a nice cozy apartment is ok with me... ah... *SHOT*
There's actually a word for that, l'esprit d'escalier. Hehe, it used to be similar for me. I'm not entirely like that anymore, not ~entirely~. I'm not used to people touching, though. Depending on the person I do actually like it, it's just... I'm not used to it. (insert sound of wind blowing in the desolate background, a lone wolf crying his song...) ... *turns around* Wow, I've got quite the setting here.
It is. So many things you're just not aware of. And I also really love seeing how things are done, you know, the process of how a piece (of music) is made, what it takes, the struggle, everything. It's wonderful, and in the case of Artefact, so raw. Awe-inspiring.
THREE WEEKS LEFT! (gdi lazy) Holy shit though girl, I'd love to be able to be crazy like that haha... it's just one of those for me, Berlin actually 8DDDD ... 8DDDDDDD 8DD 8D so yeah uh we can like totally meet up maybe? 8D I mean hi! Apparently I'm being crazy enough though because originally it was planned that two of my friends and my mom would go, (she's a die hard fan heh), but then mom had a new job and it turned out she probably wouldn't get off then, so it was just us three, then the one was like ah no I'd rather not after all (she wasn't 100% sure from the beginning though), and NOW, like just literally right now, which is why I was seething until a few moments ago (I tried to calm myself down a bit by forcing myself into writing nice things... to you... 8D) the one who like always infallibly comes along for anything is being all whiny and... yeah ok she's got her problems and all that, but anyway now it's too stressful out of a sudden after we've been knowing we'll go months ago, you know, which just leaves me standing here like a fucking idiot, no not an idiot, but it just leaves me standing here slightly angrily and I don't even know entirely how to get to berlin and shit, but hey, I'll try my best. Fuck everything. Gurr.
... so YAY LET'S MEET UP BECAUSE I'LL BE ENTIRELY ALONE andIhateBerlinsorrybutagh mmh yes?
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That's right, it's about the priorities. You could have a ton of master degrees, but if it's not what you want nor like to do, then it's worth nothing in the end.
Well said. Beautifully said. Agreed, 100%. And that "big leap" of yours is pretty accurate - creating something is everything to me. Which doesn't mean I do it much. XS Idk in recent years and after some bad things happened (not like, BAD but I'm a wuss and so they dragged me down big time), I completely lost confidence in myself and my abilities and have been mostly unable to create anything that holds meaning to me. But yes, what you're describing sounds very much like exactly what is important to me. But hey, don't all the famous people say (the cool ones, mind you): Just do what you love and eventually success will come with that? 8D ...or something... (Well, in the end it always comes down to luck and chance, I suppose... but hey, if you DON'T do what you love, nothing's gonna happen at all :P) I'm more for apartment than villa, too btw. XD Around here I sometimes see people who are building swimming pools in their gardens and I think "Pfft, what a waste of money - if I had that much, I'd build a studio in my basement and buy 10 guitars" XDDD On second thought, a small house would be perfect... not too much room, but also no neighbours that can hear you through the wall... *keeps on planning on spending money she will most likely never have*
Ahhh "l'esprit d'escalier"! I just googled it (bc I didn't know what "escalier" means XD) and realized there's a word for that in German which is a pretty exact translation ("Treppenwitz"). Sometimes - mind you, sometimes - it happens that I have a great, fun reply on the spot and deliver it in a super-dry voice. It's happened like, once or twice but I'm always proud of myself for months afterwards. XD Like "DAMN I was good!!!" XDDD
But yeah, the touching. Definitely depends on the person, very much. Same goes for ambiguous humour, by the way. When I'm at the pub, I'm used to friends being touchy with each other or making sexual references/jokes and it's no problem, but e. g. at work it's something that really creeps me out when colleagues make jokes like that. (Though it's mostly that one colleague who does that and I find him repulsive in general, but eh, I'm digressing...)
A peek behind the scenes is always interesting, I agree! 8D And seeing the struggle helps, it really does. Sometime we think there people are just geniuses and ideas and songs just come to them in their sleep or whatever. XD And they effortlessly write and play them. And it really helps when people like 30STM or Hyde or Kaoru reveal that it's not easy for them. In one of those recent video interviews, Kaoru said he doesn't think he has talent and he really struggles to write songs at all, but he thinks that this gives him strength because it makes him push himself hard to create something good? Or something XD But I find this really inspiring and amazing. Taking your perceived weaknesses and turning them into your strength is so admirable, I think. Especially with Kaoru, he's said things like that in the past and I admire that spirit so much. I want to be more like that, I give up on everything so easily and sink into self-pity instead... X(
WE SHOULD SO TOTALLY MEET UP IN BERLIN OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!! 8DDDD That would make me so happy!! And if I - or well, we (boyfriend is tagging along, but no worries, he's the nicest person on the planet XD much nicer than me, really) - can stand by you in your time of need, it's even better!!! We're arriving on the 19th (sometime around midday, I think?), have you planned anything yet (when you'll arrive, where you'll stay etc.) or do you only have the concert tickets? Where are you journeying from anyway? I don't think I ever asked where you live, actually *SHOT* Or maybe you mentioned it sometime and I overlooked it, either way I'm clueless 8DD
And I hope you're less upset now - though I imagine how enraging it must be to be stood up like that XS But it will turn out okay somehow. 8D You won't be alone in any case! *hughug*
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It's funny, I had several occasions where I talked about that with friends. Older friends, who've been in their jobs for 20 years or so, heh, and yeah... I just can't see myself in a job that requires everything of me. I need time to myself. Your average grown up would try and slap "sense" into you at that point, like "that's life, suck it up. Go to work like everybody else" but ... not if it kills what is ~me~. Hope to find a job I can identify with, you know, the kind that I'd be happy to get up for. We'll see, right.
Hey, nothing against pools! I love water! ... Although if I were rich, I wouldn't want a pool, I'd want an actual lake, with fish, and frogs, and fresh water and all that. Mhm. One more thing added to the list.
Hahahahah!!! I don't think these things last quite as long for me, but I do run around with a huge grin on my face for quite a while after delivering such great comment ;D Don't think I've heard that one before actually, I'm more familiar with the French term.
Repulsive colleague with sexual innuendos? D: Sheesh, sounds borderline harassment.
Yeah, or hearing from really great and renowned authors how "it's not easy to write" for them either. Sometimes that puts things in perspective for you. But since you mentioned Kaoru... D: I never doubted the skills of anyone in Dir, so I was surprised when my Bangya friend (Japanese, yeah) outright said that Kaoru is quite a "bad guitar player" and "honestly, he should get better already, it's so annoying", I was kinda shocked haha... You do have to add though, bangyas are really harsh critics. Cruel almost. So I wasn't surprised to hear something like that from her, just more surprised it would be about someone like Kaoru o-o'
Okay now to that part YES DEFINITELY LET'S MEET UP AND ALL. I actually don't know what's going on with my friend now, because after we talked she was like "maybe I'll go fly after all... but it's so damn expensive..." yadayada, and I haven't heard from her since. So maybe she'll come? Maybe not??? I'm adapted to the probable case of her not joining, so that would be just us.
I'd arrive on day of the concert (did I already say that), and booked beds at Meininger at Alex, cause cheap, and close to the location. Where are you guys staying? Also I'm travelling from *drumroll* Munich 8D ... or I should be, but as I said earlier I still don't know ~how~ to actually get there. I usually travel via car pool, but so far there haven't been any drivers going to Berlin on that very day D: I might have to do something outrageous like going one day earlier or by train (blergh done that once, took ages, prefer car D:) but aaaaah I don't know yet ;-; What about youuuuu?
Yassss... It's not about being alone (which I am used to 8D) it's really just about the being stood up. We were 3~4 in the beginning, you know, and all are people who love Dir, so it's a little disappointing. It's also in connection with what we talked about above. Two of those chose their jobs before their beloved music, it's something I'd never want to do. I'm too "selfish" for that. I'd rather take a sick day if I don't get the day off, than to not go see something like ARCHE live. I mean... ARCHE. Seriously...
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And yes and amen to everything you wrote in that job paragraph. I feel so out of place here sometimes (well, quite often) because so far I haven't really met any programmers who are not "full-blooded" programmers - like, they do programming in their spare time and are actually interested in it - other than me. I'm really just in it for the money. XD (As in, I wanna pay my bills food and rent and like having a bit to spare, I'm not making teh big $$$$$ here XD) And it's not a nice feeling because it kind of makes me feel like I'm "inappropriate". I enjoy some of my work, it's not like I hate all of it, but... yeah, it's not ~me~, as you said.
[edit] That paragraph sounds a bit stupid... it's all a bit more complicated than that. Me and job search has always been a touchy subject, so I can't really explain it well... argh.
Lake sounds nice. I'd like a garden. With fruit trees! (And then someone to make me take care of them so they don't die like any plant I try to take care of, haha...) And lots of pretty flowers. And then I just need to get over my fear of any flying insect....
Naaaah it's not as bad as "borderline harrassment", no worries. Just annoying sometimes, but I think I get annoyed too easily. Need to learn to stay calm. After all, that guy's really irrelevant to my life in general, so he can say what he wants. :P As far as I know, repulsiveness is not contagious, luckily! X)
...okay now I have to out myself as clueless, what the hell is a Bangya? o_____o Anyway... uh, I very much doubt Kaoru is a bad guitar player... He's no John Petrucci for sure and he makes mistakes on stage like pretty much everybody does, but other than that... huh? His guitar tends to sound a bit off during solos sometimes, but I've always thought that was deliberate. I think it's all just part of his playing style and I personally love it and find technically super-skilled guitarists really boring most of the time. :P But yeah, to each his own. *tries not to get too overprotective of kaoru bc she worships him* XS
OKAY SO IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, YUSSS! 8DDD
Haha, such an aversion against trains? We never travel any other way. XD (Unless it's to London, then we take the plane, but I'm deathly afraid of flying really... so only when something big beckons, like Kate Bush last year XD)
Anyway, we're staying at Eastseven Hostel in Prenzlauer Berg - was the best compromise we found in terms of price and convenience (yeah, I need a certain degree of convenience XD). The last two times we stayed at another hostel nearby and I really like that part of Berlin (yeah, you don't like it, I know, but I think it's kinda cool, not touristy or anything, more "hip", you know?). So yeah, we're arriving a day before the concert and leaving for Dortmund the day after the concert. 8D I just hope the train drivers aren't gonna be on strike then. Grmbl. -____-;;;
I like your attitude. It's kind of sad how (at least I feel that) when you grow up, you get the feeling that being this passionate about something (at least something that's not your job :P) is somehow inappropriate or childish? Though I do understand the other side as well - I would be much too afraid to take a sick day and possibly get into trouble. :x (Yeah, I'm a bit of a coward, in case you haven't noticed... not proud of that...) I'm glad it all worked out smoothly for me with taking holidays this time. Boy I'm glad that the first few Europe concerts always were on weekends or holidays, I never had to skip school for them. XD Anyway, having only just been under threat of losing my job last year due to mass firings, I kind of get how you wouldn't wanna risk your job. You gotta pay your rent and food somehow after all. :x ...then again, if it was for Diru, maybe even I would do it? I've never had to, so I don't really know. XD
ANYWAY. If you like, we can exchange some means of contacting each other (idk what you prefer, phone number? mail? something that's not LJ) sometime before the 20th, so we can find each other on the day of the concert :3
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