(no subject)
Back again for LJ Letter Round 2! The link to this LJ Letter will replace the first. Like the first, it'll remain in m profile until I decide it's outdated, or write a new one. Please, please, read this. And like last time, please drop me a line to let me know that you have. Most people didn't last time, and I found myself explaning it to people who didn't need it explained. Save me the effort, and just tell me you read it. Thanks.
(For those who weren’t even away there was a LJ Letter to begin with…http://www.livejournal.com/users/outofthenorm/38935.html#cutid1… you should’ve.
I decided to write everyone a new one, because that letter was written before/around the time of winter break, and obviously, one can change a lot in that amount of time.
And changed I have. I wish I could just MAP IT OUT for everyone with a clear cut "Things have gotten better/Things have gotten worse" type-deal, but I can't, really. I'm just not that simple.
First, for some light. Ever since LJ Letter, people have really been trying to reach out and try to show they care, and I appreciate it more than anyone will ever know. Also, I keep reading up on things, and sitting and thinking and writing, and I have learned an incredible amount about myself. The more I learn, the easier life gets. I have noticed a change in myself, and perhaps the rest of you have, too. And I’ve been getting more sleep. :0)
Second, for some updates. I’m afraid that I have slipped into a little depression recently. For the most part, it comes and goes, but for the past few days it has been staying. Unfortunately, my mental status affects my physical status, so I’ve been not feeling so well. I really hate admitting that because I ALWAYS seem to “not feel so well.” I imagine from the outside it doesn’t sound very believable. However, realize that I am just trying to be honest, and I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t feel it was true. Right now I am going through a very vital, scary time in my growing up. (There actually happens to be more involved, but I don’t feel much like disclosing the gory details.) Unfortunately, I think everything has really taken a toll on me, and I believe myself to be a little bit sick. I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure my getting better. Sometimes it seems like I am just barely holding on by the skin of my teeth. But I’m trying. I am. I’m trying.
I’m pretty fucking scared. But I’m still here.